Is it 'meant' to be?

Hi Cinnamon
I would not like to say whether it is meant to or not because that provokes a debate and it does not serve any true purpose.
I feel Universe probably is trying to send something better your way. If something does not happen with ease and grace I hold back, trust and open myself and let it be done for me, it usually works out perfect that way. Not always what one specifically asked for but something that serves a true need.
Sometimes the nudges of our heart are just pointers in a certain direction. When time is ripe something perfect for you at that point of time materialises.

Thanks, jnani, for your lovely response.

I really appreciate it.

This is a really interesting question... not sure if I have the answer. On the one hand you could be blocking things youself - either you don't have the faith that it's going to happen or on a subconscious level feel that it's 'wrong' for you. Or literally that it is wrong for you.

I agree with Jnani. I used to see an acupuncturist who told me I was 'swimming against the stream' - she told me I had to stop struggling, just let go and allow myself to be carried by the stream.

When I did finally 'let go', I had a sudden idea for a career change and wanted to go back to uni and it was like a series of doors opening for me. I got a place on a very competetive course - for every 1 place 18 people had applied, yet I just breezed in. As soon as I graduated I went straight into a TV job. Now things have stagnated on the career front, but that's probably to do with pregnancy and not really wanting to work!

So let go of the struggle and either the blocks will lift and the doors will open or a completely different set of doors will open.

Quieten your mind and stop over-analysing, just relax, allow things to happen and when you do get a little nudge, then you can take action.

Good luck!

Many thanks, Tigerlily - and congratulations on your pregnancy!

Interesting point, that I may be blocking it myself. I don't know. It's good to have some of the urgency taken out of it - both yours and jnani's thoughtful responses made me feel really soothed and relaxed about it.

Thanks again!

God bless xx

I'd like to re-open this thread as have some similar concerns.

I am stuck in a job that I loathe. I've been stuck in it for 4 years, and before this was also in a job I grew to hate. I feel like I am completely trapped and wasting my life, I have no idea what I really want to do (and never have had really) and cannot see a way out. I'm beginning to think that this is the way it is 'meant to be' for me. I have tried to 'relax and let it happen' but nothing ever does actually happen! Something that looked a little better came up about 2 years ago so I applied and the HR Dept. actually lost my application! Anyway else ever been stuck like this and did anything change?

This is a really interesting question... not sure if I have the answer. On the one hand you could be blocking things youself - either you don't have the faith that it's going to happen or on a subconscious level feel that it's 'wrong' for you. Or literally that it is wrong for you.

Or it could mean that you have lessons to learn from overcoming obstacles.
Or that sometimes, 'stuff just happens'.

I'd like to re-open this thread as have some similar concerns.

I am stuck in a job that I loathe. I've been stuck in it for 4 years, and before this was also in a job I grew to hate. I feel like I am completely trapped and wasting my life, I have no idea what I really want to do (and never have had really) and cannot see a way out. I'm beginning to think that this is the way it is 'meant to be' for me. I have tried to 'relax and let it happen' but nothing ever does actually happen! Something that looked a little better came up about 2 years ago so I applied and the HR Dept. actually lost my application! Anyway else ever been stuck like this and did anything change?

Not much changes unless the consciousness changes. Now thats nuts because you don't understand consciousness...
Put it this way- you like to change but the energy that drives you is too bogged down with fears, distrust, doubt, past failures, beliefs, expectations from future, memories of the past -and the rest of it. Its unlikely that any significant positive energy will substantiate in life, if the energy at the base is stuck and stagnant. Hence one feesl stuck. Because there is no flow within
We often keep chasing the shadow, the being has to change first to change reality.Your reality is a mere shadow of your being. Everything in your life is Your vibrational match.
your true vibration spreads all through your life...even if mind understands letting go, law of attraction, positive thoughts etc etc. That does not make blind bit of difference because the reality just keeps settling back to your true vibration like a YO Yo.
Don't fret too much about reality find a way to expand your being. Reality becomes your slave...
It is achievable, it is easier than you can imagine

Not much changes unless the consciousness changes. Now thats nuts because you don't understand consciousness...
Put it this way- you like to change but the energy that drives you is too bogged down with fears, distrust, doubt, past failures, beliefs, expectations from future, memories of the past -and the rest of it. Its unlikely that any significant positive energy will substantiate in life, if the energy at the base is stuck and stagnant. Hence one feesl stuck. Because there is no flow within
We often keep chasing the shadow, the being has to change first to change reality.Your reality is a mere shadow of your being. Everything in your life is Your vibrational match.
your true vibration spreads all through your life...even if mind understands letting go, law of attraction, positive thoughts etc etc. That does not make blind bit of difference because the reality just keeps settling back to your true vibration like a YO Yo.
Don't fret too much about reality find a way to expand your being. Reality becomes your slave...
It is achievable, it is easier than you can imagine

'Find a way to expand your being'.........Yes, I wish I could! It does not feel like it is achievable.

Or it could mean that you have lessons to learn from overcoming obstacles.
Or that sometimes, 'stuff just happens'.

Or in my case stuff just doesn't happen ever.

Hi mouse16,

I have some thoughts regarding this and I do agree with what Jnani said about changing consciousness, but I'd like to suggest a practical approach to this. Perhaps you need to lightly and playfully discover what interests you and what you would like to do. At this point it doesn't need to be a particular job or career move, just the essence of what you want. What might feel fun and fulfilling? Something active? Or to do with study and learning? Or caring? Or talking? Or making things? I believe once you start to ask and search, then you will start to change your inner landscape and ideas will begin to flow and opportunities will start to present themselves (which you need to be prepared to seize without too much over analysing).
So what I'm trying to say is focus on what you would like rather than the fact that you loath your job.....or that nothing ever happens for you......just start to cultivate a habit of not giving those thoughts any more attention.
Regarding the HR job, would this really have been something 'better' or just more of the same with a higher pay packet. Only you can know this and thats why its important to find the essence of what you want. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. Good luck!

Love
Crystal elf

Hi mouse16

Or in my case stuff just doesn't happen ever.

You are quite correct nothing just happens, everything starts and finishes with a thought within the life experience that we create for ourselves.

You are complete with the fullness of self, you have made one set of choices which have created one experience, that experience that you have created will continue until you make different choices.

In order to make different choices, we often need to change our underlying thought patterns and beliefs which are orchestrating our choices, the first question that we need to ask ourselves, is how are our current choices serving us right now? if they are not then we need to ask ourselves what needs to change within us, that will empower us to make and commit to new choices?

'Find a way to expand your being'.........Yes, I wish I could! It does not feel like it is achievable.

Look no further! If yopu really wish flow is always looking to flood in wothout exception. You can get in touch if you like

Hi mouse16,

I have some thoughts regarding this and I do agree with what Jnani said about changing consciousness, but I'd like to suggest a practical approach to this. Perhaps you need to lightly and playfully discover what interests you and what you would like to do. At this point it doesn't need to be a particular job or career move, just the essence of what you want. What might feel fun and fulfilling? Something active? Or to do with study and learning? Or caring? Or talking? Or making things? I believe once you start to ask and search, then you will start to change your inner landscape and ideas will begin to flow and opportunities will start to present themselves (which you need to be prepared to seize without too much over analysing).
So what I'm trying to say is focus on what you would like rather than the fact that you loath your job.....or that nothing ever happens for you......just start to cultivate a habit of not giving those thoughts any more attention.
Regarding the HR job, would this really have been something 'better' or just more of the same with a higher pay packet. Only you can know this and thats why its important to find the essence of what you want. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. Good luck!

Love
Crystal elf

Thank you, I do like the practical advice! Sometimes I don't even know what I like, I have tried to get a feel or to focus on what I might like and just get this incredible sense of confusion like there is something missing.

Look no further! If yopu really wish flow is always looking to flood in wothout exception. You can get in touch if you like

I'm sorry, but I really don't understand that.

Hi mouse16

In order to make different choices, we often need to change our underlying thought patterns and beliefs which are orchestrating our choices, the first question that we need to ask ourselves, is how are our current choices serving us right now? if they are not then we need to ask ourselves what needs to change within us, that will empower us to make and commit to new choices?

How much in control are we of our underlying thought patterns though? How do we know what they truly are? How conscious are we of what is driving things is what I'm saying basically.

I'm sorry, but I really don't understand that.

The flow of life is always present-always! We manage to keep blocking it. Most do that well!
If you trully desire something, it will happen or you will just keep finding excuses to avoid it. Way forward is way forward, why keep looking back such as "nothing happens for me"
Shun the fearful wishy washy , grudging habit of mind and brace yourself to embrace what you really want.
One single strong decision is all that is needed. Its all looking to fall in your lap

If you still don't get it give me a shout

Hi mouse16

How much in control are we of our underlying thought patterns though? How do we know what they truly are? How conscious are we of what is driving things is what I'm saying basically.

We are totally in control and understand our underlying thought patterns and beliefs as long as we are prepared to acknowledge and take responsibility for them.

We create our underlying thought patterns and beliefs out of our own perceptions of how we interpret out life experience to date, if you are happy with your choices, then you will be experiencing inner peace and harmony within your existence, but if you are not happy with your choices, then you will be experiencing inner disharmony and conflicts within your existence.

The flow of life is always present-always! We manage to keep blocking it. Most do that well!
If you trully desire something, it will happen or you will just keep finding excuses to avoid it. Way forward is way forward, why keep looking back such as "nothing happens for me"
Shun the fearful wishy washy , grudging habit of mind and brace yourself to embrace what you really want.
One single strong decision is all that is needed. Its all looking to fall in your lap

If you still don't get it give me a shout

All I truly desire is to get out of the situation I am in but I cannot find a way. I don't think that 'nothing happens for me' is just about looking back. The one single strong decision is the problem! I cannot make it because I genuinely do not know what to do.

All I truly desire is to get out of the situation I am in but I cannot find a way. I don't think that 'nothing happens for me' is just about looking back. The one single strong decision is the problem! I cannot make it because I genuinely do not know what to do.

That sis exactly where you are going wrong. You cannot know what to do. You can only decide within. Two are different things. See?
You think you need a plan, a strategy, knowhow. No. You just need to decide with conviction that you want out. No More. The rest will happen. Its not your business to know who, how, from where you will receive help, because your mind has no idea outside its own experience.
Your intelligence is not needed only cooperation. and you co operate by deciding. Its so simple its complex!
But solid decision is made automatically, when you trully have had enough. So just wait until you are sick to eye balls, the decision will then make itself to jump out of suffering

That sis exactly where you are going wrong. You cannot know what to do. You can only decide within. Two are different things. See?
You think you need a plan, a strategy, knowhow. No. You just need to decide with conviction that you want out. No More. The rest will happen. Its not your business to know who, how, from where you will receive help, because your mind has no idea outside its own experience.
Your intelligence is not needed only cooperation. and you co operate by deciding. Its so simple its complex!

OK, now I understand what you are saying. Thank you for your patience in coming back. So if I have it right this is basically about deciding that I want out, and waiting for it to happen.

Hi mouse16

We are totally in control and understand our underlying thought patterns and beliefs as long as we are prepared to acknowledge and take responsibility for them.

We create our underlying thought patterns and beliefs out of our own perceptions of how we interpret out life experience to date, if you are happy with your choices, then you will be experiencing inner peace and harmony within your existence, but if you are not happy with your choices, then you will be experiencing inner disharmony and conflicts within your existence.

How can thought pattern be underlying though? Isn't thought conscious?

Mouse - why don't you ask your power animal?

Hi mouse16

How can thought pattern be underlying though? Isn't thought conscious?

We have more than one aspect of consciousness, what we use to think things through and what you are perceiving these words with, is only a very small aspect of our aspects of consciousness, to find the other aspects of consciousness we need to embrace the fullness of self which lies within us.

Mouse - why don't you ask your power animal?

I will try. Not totally confident, still need to see it more clearly and believe that it is what I think it is.

Hi mouse16

We have more than one aspect of consciousness, what we use to think things through and what you are perceiving these words with, is only a very small aspect of our aspects of consciousness, to find the other aspects of consciousness we need to embrace the fullness of self which lies within us.

Yes, but how to do this if the very tool you are using to do it, i.e. your conscious mind, is confused and distressed....

Hi mouse16

Yes, but how to do this if the very tool you are using to do it, i.e. your conscious mind, is confused and distressed....

Your everyday thinking aspect of consciousness is the tool that you are using to perceive the inner turmoil, if you choose to add to the turmoil by adding that aspect of consciousness into the argument, then that will not help you.

We start to perceive the fullness of self by giving ourselves permission to focus our everyday thinking aspect of consciousness in an open and non-judgemental way, we need to be prepared to openly embrace and take responsibility for our inner fears and self limiting thought patterns and beliefs, which are the foundation stones which are forming and underpinning our life experience.

if we examine your opening post:

I am stuck in a job that I loathe. I've been stuck in it for 4 years, and before this was also in a job I grew to hate.

Please ask yourself in an open and non-judgemental way, why you choose to do jobs that you knew were not going to satisfy you, just observe the response, do not start arguing with yourself, just accept it and write it down, you have to accept the reason no matter how strange or illogical it appears to be, there are no wrong choices, there are only choices which shape our existence.

I feel like I am completely trapped and wasting my life, I have no idea what I really want to do (and never have had really) and cannot see a way out.

No life is ever wasted, each life experience no matter how long or short, is exactly that a life experience, when we take judgements out of the equation, then we are simply left with a life experience.

I'm beginning to think that this is the way it is 'meant to be' for me. I have tried to 'relax and let it happen' but nothing ever does actually happen!

No, this is what you have chosen to experience by setting your core way of being up with the way that you chosen to perceive things.

At the moment you have chosen to become dissatisfied with your life choices, so you are rejecting the existence that you have created for yourself, which means that you are rejecting self in stead of embracing self in an open and non-judgemental way.

Rejection of aspects of self, leads to inner division, if we want to be whole and complete within the fullness of self, then we need to embrace not reject.

Please consider embracing the inner turmoil in order to perceive where it is coming from and what it is about, rather than fighting and rejecting it.

Hi mouse16

Your everyday thinking aspect of consciousness is the tool that you are using to perceive the inner turmoil, if you choose to add to the turmoil by adding that aspect of consciousness into the argument, then that will not help you.

We start to perceive the fullness of self by giving ourselves permission to focus our everyday thinking aspect of consciousness in an open and non-judgemental way, we need to be prepared to openly embrace and take responsibility for our inner fears and self limiting thought patterns and beliefs, which are the foundation stones which are forming and underpinning our life experience.

if we examine your opening post:

Please ask yourself in an open and non-judgemental way, why you choose to do jobs that you knew were not going to satisfy you, just observe the response, do not start arguing with yourself, just accept it and write it down, you have to accept the reason no matter how strange or illogical it appears to be, there are no wrong choices, there are only choices which shape our existence.

No life is ever wasted, each life experience no matter how long or short, is exactly that a life experience, when we take judgements out of the equation, then we are simply left with a life experience.

No, this is what you have chosen to experience by setting your core way of being up with the way that you chosen to perceive things.

At the moment you have chosen to become dissatisfied with your life choices, so you are rejecting the existence that you have created for yourself, which means that you are rejecting self in stead of embracing self in an open and non-judgemental way.

Rejection of aspects of self, leads to inner division, if we want to be whole and complete within the fullness of self, then we need to embrace not reject.

Please consider embracing the inner turmoil in order to perceive where it is coming from and what it is about, rather than fighting and rejecting it.

I think what you are saying here is that it is better to observe the turmoil than to participate in it (and yet I would say part of me often does do this) and that just observing might have a freeing effect. I'm not sure what the inner fears are. I also have a problem with the element of choice here, how much have I really chosen? And If I have chosen it myself why would I reject it and cause myself pain? If I am doing that (and I'm sure that many many people do if this is how things work) is it not because I am 'wired' that way? Isn't it a rather human way to be, so you are kind of doomed ? (!). I like what you say about asking myself even so, there must be some chink of light I can see somewhere!

Hi mouse16

I think what you are saying here is that it is better to observe the turmoil than to participate in it (and yet I would say part of me often does do this) and that just observing might have a freeing effect.

You embrace and observe so that you can go into neutral, once you choose not to participate in the internal debates, then you are simply observing what is going on, so that you can become aware of the real problems, you need to learn to talk to the other aspects of self and wait for some form of a response.

Once you know what you are dealing with, then the rest is relatively simple, everything starts with a thought (a choice) and finishes with a thought (another choice), you need to establish what formula is being used to form your choices.

I'm not sure what the inner fears are.

The main ones are anything which you are frightened of attempting to do for whatever reason and fears of failure which come from our own self doubts or what other people have told us which we have chosen to embrace within self, basically your fears will stop you in your tracks.

Anything which starts with I am not good enough, I can't do or achieve this or that, that is all I am worth.

I also have a problem with the element of choice here, how much have I really chosen?

You have been making choices since you chose to come here and experience this life experience.

Every time you make your mind up over something, then you are making a choice, every time you hear something and agree with it, you have made a choice, you would not get out of bed in the morning if you did not make a choice, your whole existence is revolving around your choices.

And If I have chosen it myself why would I reject it and cause myself pain? If I am doing that (and I'm sure that many many people do if this is how things work) is it not because I am 'wired' that way? Isn't it a rather human way to be, so you are kind of doomed ? (!).

Sometimes when we get into self sabotage mode, we will choose things which we know are not right for us, things which will reinforce our beliefs about who we are and what value we place upon ourselves, we will purposefully choose things which we know will not help us but hinder us

This usually starts with choices surrounding little things, there is not a lot there so I will do without, they are more important than I am etc, and it slowly grows into bigger things, we know what we are doing and we do not like ourselves for doing it, the self resentment and rejection creates a lot of problems for us, but we continue thinking that we can do nothing about it, we are deceiving and dis-empowering ourselves.

This is a way of being, it forms an experience, when we have experienced it, it is time to change it unless we enjoy putting ourselves down, if we embrace that way of being to long, then we create inner conflicts, one aspect of us is putting us down, whilst another aspect is attempting to bring us back to our true way of being.

No you are not wired that way, you have created a way of being, which moves everything to fit in with your choices, it is time to make new choices which will serve you in a different way, but you need to acknowledge and own the original choices, so that you are empowered to change them.

OK, thanks - that is clearer, thank you for your persistence! I think we may have to agree to disagree on your view of choice in the wider sense. I feel that 'choice' cannot cover everything. Look at the awful things that happen to people in this world, are they are all chosen by the individuals, really? What about chance?

Yes, self-sabotage, that is what I mean about being 'wired' that way. Surely, getting into this mode is how we are, so many people do it!

This bit resonates with me: "you need to learn to talk to the other aspects of self and wait for some form of a response."

All the responses here have given me something to think about, maybe I can start to find a way out 🙂