There’ve been a lot of discussions lately regarding therapists’ qualifications, training etc, but a question I would like to pose to HPers is:
Regardless of experience, training, qualifications, what personal qualities/attributes do you value most in a therapist, from the point of view of a client? (I assume that those of you who are practitioners yourself have at least some experience as a client, at least in a training context).
The reason I am interested in this topic is that time and time again I come across some highly qualified therapists who, as a client, I wouldn't touch with a bargepole, and I also meet some "amateurs" or beginners in the therapy world who seem to have a natural healing vibe about them. This indicates to me that some things cannot be acquired easily, and have to be present in the individual in the first place... So what is the essense of a great therapist??
Am posting this in the Mind Therapies forum as this is the context of most interest to me, but thoughts on therapists in any kind of modality would be welcome, as well as some real-life examples (I am sure any therapist you may wish to discuss here as a shining example would be delighted with you blowing their trumpet on HP! :))
To kick this off, I myself really value the following in a therapist:
* Genuine interest/curiosity in their client and his/her world
* Flexibility in being able to adapt the treatment to individual needs rather than following a standard protocol
* A sense of fun
Masha
To kick this off, I myself really value the following in a therapist:
* Genuine interest/curiosity in their client and his/her world
* Flexibility in being able to adapt the treatment to individual needs rather than following a standard protocol
* A sense of fun
* Passion
* Empathy
* Humility
* Inquisitive nature for their art
* Not be a technique, but be a healer
Myarka
* Passion
* Empathy
* Humility
* Inquisitive nature for their art
* Not be a technique, but be a healer
I'm definitely adding all of these onto my list, myarka! 🙂
Masha
Someone that seems able to incoporate my understanding of the world in their interpretation of it and hands it back to me in my own language and according to my world view - not theirs.
I have also realised, and i don't mean this in an big headed way at all, that if you are a very self aware person and you have been consciously trekking along a very 'aware' (i mean both in terms of the self and spiritually) path in life for sometime then having a therapist that is not working from at least a similar point of progression it can be very difficult to achieve the assistance you seek because in many ways the therapist is not as developed.
So therefore for me it was meeting a therapist who was at a similar place in terms of their development and seemed to light up at the thought of assisting me on my path and understood what i was really looking for - he for me was a wonderful therapist and quite literally saved my life.
Love to all
Sunbeamx
Well, just to satisfy any latent OCD that I might have, this is what Rogers had to say. He gave six conditions which, he said, were necessary and sufficient for therapeutic change. These are often shortened to three, but the others are also vital (if more tricky to do anything about):
1. That the client and therapist are in psychological contact
2. That the client is incongruent as far as the material to be discussed is concerned.
3. That the therapist is congruent within the relationship.
4. That the therapist has unconditional positive regard for the client.
5. That the therapist is empathic with the client.
6. That the client perceives the therapist's congruence, unconditional positive regard and empathy.
So, I'm sure most of us know all that, but there are a lot of people who might read this looking for some kind of guidance, and I thought it would be useful to just get it on the record. What the conditions mean in practice, of course, is less easy to describe, but unmistakeable when they do arise. The links above are good descriptions of what is involved.
- compassionate regard for the client's welfare
- brings strong healing intention
- listens and communicates in more ways than one (so able to connect with people who are strongly kinaesthetic, auditory, and/or visual)
- resourceful and inventive in finding solutions
- able to explain their healing art in grounded practical terms
- knows when to refer on if out of their scope of expertise
- I would also definitely include the sense of fun you included, Masha.
Well, just to satisfy any latent OCD that I might have, this is what Rogers had to say. He gave six conditions which, he said, were necessary and sufficient for therapeutic change. These are often shortened to three, but the others are also vital (if more tricky to do anything about):
1. That the client and therapist are in psychological contact
2. That the client is incongruent as far as the material to be discussed is concerned.
3. That the therapist is congruent within the relationship.
4. That the therapist has unconditional positive regard for the client.
5. That the therapist is empathic with the client.
6. That the client perceives the therapist's congruence, unconditional positive regard and empathy.
Thanks for the useful reminder of Roger's conditions, David. I guess the majority of counsellors/therapists (even those who don't practise Rogerian counselling) will espouse these values. However, for you, what really distinguishes those therapists who walk the talk?
Masha
I have also realised, and i don't mean this in an big headed way at all, that if you are a very self aware person and you have been consciously trekking along a very 'aware' (i mean both in terms of the self and spiritually) path in life for sometime then having a therapist that is not working from at least a similar point of progression it can be very difficult to achieve the assistance you seek because in many ways the therapist is not as developed.
This so resonated with me, not just with regard to therapists, but to all the people one has to interact with in one's daily life. It almost comes down to a sort of secret club, a kind of human internet. There are people who know where you're coming from and people who haven't a clue what you're on about. When you meet a like minded soul, someone who's 'on the path' it's such a warm feeling...
Thanks for the useful reminder of Roger's conditions, David. I guess the majority of counsellors/therapists (even those who don't practise Rogerian counselling) will espouse these values. However, for you, what really distinguishes those therapists who walk the talk?
Masha
I don't think I've met anyone who didn't stumble quite a bit on that walk. And just trying to walk the talk is actually very healing, I think. Please don't anybody wait to be a therapist until they've got it sorted!
Most healers I've met, on here and elsewhere, would benefit greatly from counselling training. Not that I'm trying to persuade them to become counsellors, God forbid ;), but the research shows that a huge amount of useful counselling goes on outside of formal counselling sessions by people who have had some skills training and incorporate the core values and methods into their other healing work.
When Rogers went to Northern Ireland, he worked with some adolescents there, across the religious divide.When he explained to them what they were meeting to do, one girl said to him, "This sounds like a very dangerouus thing to do. What makes you think you are able to do this?" Rogers said that he nearly kissed her. So, I guess humility. Also having a healing Presence: many therapists including Rogers said that they felt at times that just being there felt it was healing. So Presence with a capital P.
There are people who know where you're coming from and people who haven't a clue what you're on about.
Unfortunately I'm wondering if my supervisor is one of these people or not. She is so totally different to me personality-wise that I am learning so much from how she does things, but it brings with it so much discord about my world-view.
The best therapy treatments I have received are from people who are on the spiritual path and have a deep intuitive knowing or understanding which reflects their own self development and can help me to recognise and remove my own blocks. I say spiritual, because this is the main focus of my life and I would not want to see a practitioner without this perspective. So an atheist counsellor or complementary therapist wouldn't be for me, even if they were very good at what they did.
Binah
x
From my point of view as an EFT practitioner, I've worked with other EFT practitioners as we like to swap sessions - you really do get more benefit by doing a session with someone else guiding you, no matter how experienced you are. So I would say;
The worst qualities are - thinking we know everything. We don't, we always learning, which is why I feel resistance calling myself a Reiki 'Master'. Yes I have taken the qualification and have years of experience, but I still feel like I'm still learning about Reiki. The same goes for EFT - there is SO MUCH to learn. I've covered all of the techniques in the qualification but then someone develops a new way or a totally new technique and bingo, I'm a student again! It keeps it refreshing.
Also, aggressive therapists. I worked with one particular EFT practitioner last year and she was so aggressive about me dealing with my issues that I felt like she was pushing me down a path I wasn't ready for and I am still not sure it was the right path for me anyway! We are here to guide people yes, and sometimes we need to push them a little to look at things from a different perspective. Sometimes we need to hold their hand (not literally!) and support them as they start on the path that they need to follow - but we can't force people into change! Especially one that they are not ready for or don't want.
It resulted in me cutting contact with her - we can't heal a past event unless we are really ready and we may not be ready for may reasons (one of them being that we haven't learnt what we need to from the event) and it was a real AHA moment for me.
Mel