I hate talking

Hello welcome to HP, Can you be a little more specific? Is your problem the actual act of speaking, or are you shy or do you just not like people as say opposed to just wanting to be around animals for example?

Love

Rebecca x

I am familiar with sedona method, EFT, and BSFF, can someone give me tips for using these to overcome this please?

Hi Faceless,
sounds like you are afraid to be seen. Does that have meaning for you?

I'm not an expert on the techniques you mention, although I use eft quite a bit, but it seems to me that they are all techniques where you continue to avoid talking. Is that right?

Hello, I was wondering if someone could help me, my problem is I hate to talk, I really hate it, and wish that I couldn't, I'm not sure why.

I am familiar with sedona method, EFT, and BSFF, can someone give me tips for using these to overcome this please?

Thank you

Faceless

Hi Faceless,

The others have already mentioned some good points and your choice of name does imply that you have an issue with being in the limelight or being seen (unless you're a fan of the headless way perhaps? :rolleyes:)

So, firstly we need more information. When you say you hate talking, are you referring to standing up and talking in front of people i.e. giving a presentation, or is it when you're in a group of people and you have an opinion you want to share but you feel you can't say it for some reason, or perhaps when you have to phone someone up who you don't know etc. Be more specific about the situation(s) in which you feel you hate talking. Clearly you feel ok about talking via the written word on a forum, otherwise you wouldn't have posted here, so we can discount that one. 😉

Once you've identified the situation (or situations), how would you feel if you had to talk in that situation? How is that feeling manifesting for you?

Another thing to look at is, assuming we're going down the EFT type of treatment, what is the earliest recollection you have of having this hatred (or whatever the feeling is) of talking. Start with what you were doing before that situation arose, and talk through what led up to it, then, at the point you start to feel the feeling, identify your setup phrase with the feeling, score it and start tapping. Once you've tapped the routine (basic recipe or whichever version you've learnt), go back to before the situation again and start talking through it once more, and see how far you get before any feeling arises again.... repeat and continue until the feelings are cleared.

If you can give us more specific information we can perhaps offer more concise guidance.

All Love and Reiki Hugs

I can relate to the feeling of avoiding talking. I have never been one to talk much and even though it can create awkward situations I can't be drawn in to talking about something not interesting just to avoid silence. I've been like this for as long as I can remember, when little my Mum used to despair at just trying to get me to say Hello when we bumped into neighbours out shopping. I've always put this down to shyness.
Having started a new job in the new year once again I was dreading the 'getting to know everyone' bit but this time I found it a bit easier than usual and swear it is because I've been using some Bach remedies (as suggested by Star99) and some EFT.
So Faceless, is your lack of wanting to talk shyness or something else?

sedona method, EFT, and BSFF

Faceless

What do these stand for.

I have to say I have never been a 'talker' and always found this to be a problem. People like people who talk - which is understandable I guess is this is how we communicate most of our information. Sometimes I just don't want to talk because I hate the sound of my own voice other times I do want to say something but cannot think of anything.

What do these stand for.
People like people who talk .

You may be pleased to know I can honestly say this is a belief. One of the most frequent things people say about me is "You don't talk much, do you?" But it has never stopped me from anything. I find myself accepted in most groups and amongst most people. I am even an author, and my books are typically very concise, with far less pages than the average book on the same subject. And even that is perfectly OK. What makes me confident and happy is that there is no expectation to talk.

I treat others who have this belief. At the beginning of the treatment, silences in the conversation drive them mad with feelings of inferiority. But, remember, this is just your reality and not necessarily the reality of the person(s) you are with.

The biggest clue here is self-acceptance. Once you accept yourself as you are, others will easily accept you just as you are. Then one of two things happens. You may find that you love talking, and now with new confidence, you can easily talk and talk. Or you may feel comfortable being a good listener and appreciated as such. Both options are equally valid. So are you 😎

Hello welcome to HP, Can you be a little more specific? Is your problem the actual act of speaking, or are you shy or do you just not like people as say opposed to just wanting to be around animals for example?

Well, it's all of that I think, I can speak fine in my head but when it comes to actually talking to someone it's like my voice is hard to use, as though is is un-natural to me, not automatic, as though my mind it blank. When I am around people, there simply are no words that want to come out.

I suppose I am shy, although that word doesn't do it justice, I would go and see an EFT therapist or even phone one, but stupidly enough I am afraid of the therepist lol, at least talking to them.

I do not like people, I don't hate them I just don't have an interest in them, I also don't like how I feel around people, it's like I am no longer there, but I do like animals, I don't yearn for "people" or for friends, I am not depressed about my solitude I enjoy it, what I don't enjoy is that I HAVE to avoid people, I would like my solitude to be my choice. Plus this is making it very difficult to get a job (always has, that's why I've never had one for longer than a day).

Hi Faceless,
sounds like you are afraid to be seen. Does that have meaning for you?

I'm not an expert on the techniques you mention, although I use eft quite a bit, but it seems to me that they are all techniques where you continue to avoid talking. Is that right?

That does have meaning, I do not like to be seen, I wear my hood up when it isn't really necessary and always avoid people in the street (whether I know them or not) even if it means I have to walk the long way round.

It makes me feel frozen in a thoughtless action-less state.

I don't use those methods very well, I don't really get any benefits probably because I'm not a pro.

So, firstly we need more information. When you say you hate talking, are you referring to standing up and talking in front of people i.e. giving a presentation, or is it when you're in a group of people and you have an opinion you want to share but you feel you can't say it for some reason, or perhaps when you have to phone someone up who you don't know etc. Be more specific about the situation(s) in which you feel you hate talking. Clearly you feel ok about talking via the written word on a forum, otherwise you wouldn't have posted here, so we can discount that one.

Standing up and giving a presentation wouldn't be too much of a problem, in that situation I would have something specific to say and do, and so I would just do that. I would NOT do it very well, but I could do that. Speaking in front of a crowd is not an interaction.

If I was in a group and had an opinion on something I would not be interested in saying it at all the only thing on my mind would be when can I get out of here, as this situation of being in a group and talking would not be where I want to be, so I would have no interest in taking part in the conversation.

Phoning someone I don't know might be a problem, if it's phoning the bank or something like that no problem whatsoever, but (I would never be interested in doing this) if I were to phone someone in a personal context that would be a big no no, I don't even like phoning people that I know.

I don't even like interacting with people over text-based-messengers, it must be an interaction thing more than simply a talking thing.

Once you've identified the situation (or situations), how would you feel if you had to talk in that situation? How is that feeling manifesting for you?

I'm not certain, I am very out of touch with my feelings, my life has taught me that feeling nothing at all is a very valuable thing to perfect.

I would say that my mind just goes away, I can not think, I can't even attempt to think, it likes I'm trying to go unconscious but can't quite manage it. I think I get a strong sensation in my solar plexus too.

The very first time I felt this feeling is the first memory I have (I don't think I can remember anything before that), it was my first day of nursery school, I was probably four or five. My parents took me into the class, I was a bit nervous because of all the people, but it was OK because my parents were there, they stayed for about 15 minutes but when they left I just stood in that one spot and cried all day.

It's a different situation, but it was that feeling, I call it the school feeling, because everyday at school this is the feeling I had to bury, I remember thinking death was not so bad from the age of 9 or so onwards (I am no longer depressed though). I'm not sying I was depressed at that age, once I was out of school I was happy going home, I usually fell asleep with a sick feeling in my stomach, and waking up to go to school was just ughh.. having no feelings, being a walking soulless zombie was my only choice.

I can relate to the feeling of avoiding talking. I have never been one to talk much and even though it can create awkward situations I can't be drawn in to talking about something not interesting just to avoid silence. I've been like this for as long as I can remember, when little my Mum used to despair at just trying to get me to say Hello when we bumped into neighbours out shopping. I've always put this down to shyness.
Having started a new job in the new year once again I was dreading the 'getting to know everyone' bit but this time I found it a bit easier than usual and swear it is because I've been using some Bach remedies (as suggested by Star99) and some EFT.
So Faceless, is your lack of wanting to talk shyness or something else?

I think shyness suggest a desire to interact with people which I don't have (not since my depression went), I can't even imagine having a conversation, that's how far from my mind conversing is, I am absolutely UN-interested in people, I wish there was a way for me to live totally alone.

I honestly get confused when trying to describe myself like this, it's like I have to guess because my energy was so messed up from such an early age that I can't know what's wrong with me, I don't know.

I have been given the instinct that people and peace are opposites and can NOT exist together.

I would be interested in what you mean by Bach remedies, I would like to try it.

That getting to know people thing is what messes with my head, why can't people just NOT do that, maybe I am an alien, maybe I am not human, I sometimes think I am a completely different species, I do not understand this social interaction thing at all, and I am not interested in doing so (but maybe this is just because these feelings are blocking me from seeing it? I don't care). Once I had a job for one day, I worked through my breaks to avoid going and talking to people, the next day I quit, same thing happened again, a job for one day but this time it reminded me way to much of school, and I quit again.

I don't see myself in anyone.

If I could not speak (or if I were to pretend I could not speak), I don't think I would have this problem, that's why I say I hate talking and not that I have a very bad social phobia.

What do these stand for.

I have to say I have never been a 'talker' and always found this to be a problem. People like people who talk - which is understandable I guess is this is how we communicate most of our information. Sometimes I just don't want to talk because I hate the sound of my own voice other times I do want to say something but cannot think of anything.

EFT = Emotional freedom technique (or is it therapy?), BSFF = be set free fast.

I don't like my own voice either, it doesn't feel like a part of "me", words feel too far away, and take effort to make a sentence (but if I am talking to myself mentally or actually it comes effortlessly, (normally?)), people mess up my energy.

The only reason I can say all this here is because I am writing it, if this was in person or over the phone, my mind would be blank, I would not be here, I would be paralysed, ashamed, worthless and pathetic.

It's great being me 🙂

Hi Faceless
Well, you're pretty fluent with the written word. And you're not depressed. You sound quite OK with the way you are. Maybe you should just accept that this is how you are. My spiritual teacher says that we should be silent as much as possible. That speaking, and especially chattering and gossiping, uses up essential energy and drains and depletes us. Maybe you know this without being told. Everyone is different.
But in your first post you describe this as a problem so it seems you would like to be able to change. I don't have any real advice for you, just want to say that I hope it works out as you wish it to. Good luck.

xxx

If everyone was a "talker" there would be nowhere for silence to rest...

One thing that jumps out at me is that, in days gone by, psychoanalysis would have been the tool of choice for dealing with these problems.

"Elective mutism" is accepted as a disorder - there was a TV programme on it just recently. It's OK if you want to communicate by writing. Give yourself a break: you don't have to talk to anyone if you don't want to. Write things down. There are people who do this. It's OK.

Hello Faceless (I feel uncomfortable writing your screen name it makes me want to give you a hug), you might like to have a look at and click on Indigo children or Crystal children my intuition is telling me that you may find a lot of comfort there.

Love

Rebecca xx

Hi Faceless, it sounds as if you're saying that you don't want to communicate (at least by speech) with anyone- and there's nothing wrong with that. But it obviously is causing you a problem, otherwise you wouldn't even've started this thread, I guess.
If you were comfortable 'in your own skin', I think you would just adapt your life accordingly, live in a solitary way, do a job that meant you were working on your own etc., be happy and it wouldn't be an issue.

If you want to feel ok with how you are, you could try something like homeopathy, which promotes self fulfilment and development. The treatment can enable you to get in touch with your feelings, feel more comfortable with yourself, and develop your full potential. Although some people think of it as a 'talking' therapy, the idea is that you convey to the homeopath exactly, how you are- and if that is quiet and uncommunicative, that is how he will want you to be in the consultation, to allow him to decide on the best remedies for you. It is non judgemental, there is no pre-determined outcome, and there is no pressure to say anything other than what you want to. HTH Hom

Hi Faceless

Your problem lies within, when we do not perceive ourselves as being the same as everyone else then we withdraw from them and put up the barriers, then because we do not like the way we feel when we classify ourselves as being different and separate, we turn off our feelings and tell ourselves that it is all right to be different, to feel like an alien around others, so we do not develop good social skills.

This is a personal choice which you have made, the circumstances which led to this choice are not as important as the choice, the choice was to perceive yourself as being set aside, a reject comes to mind, one who does not belong, one who is dispossessed and actively seeks solitude where you and your conceptual understanding of life can't be challenged making them feel secure.

The consequences of this choice are self imposed social isolation, not to mention the amount of mental work that is required to hold your emotions in check all of the time especially when you are around other people and to stop you from feeling lonely, isolated and apart. To think like a social leper who is unworthy, will bring your self esteem and self confidence levels to such a low level that as you have stated, the thought of death seems like a better solution to the void which you are forcing yourself to endure.

To change this situation requires another choice, a choice to become a part of the whole, to allow others to help you to find yourself, to allow them to challenge you and your concepts. This will allow you to evaluate your own thoughts and beliefs, to asses those which enhance your existence and change those which are stopping you from becoming complete in the world as well as yourself.

The person you are looking for, is very self secure, full of self confidence and self esteem, they will stand out from the crowd to you, a complete opposite to yourself as they will be full of happiness with a zest for life, just attaching yourself and being around them will show you a different path than the one you have chosen for yourself; it starts with a smile and a hello I am ? it is nice to meet you.

Wise words indeed!

Some turquoise for your throat chakra would be useful for you. It will help with self-expression.

Hi Faceless

Your problem lies within, when we do not perceive ourselves as being the same as everyone else then we withdraw from them and put up the barriers, then because we do not like the way we feel when we classify ourselves as being different and separate, we turn off our feelings and tell ourselves that it is all right to be different, to feel like an alien around others, so we do not develop good social skills.

This is a personal choice which you have made, the circumstances which led to this choice are not as important as the choice, the choice was to perceive yourself as being set aside, a reject comes to mind, one who does not belong, one who is dispossessed and actively seeks solitude where you and your conceptual understanding of life can't be challenged making them feel secure.

The consequences of this choice are self imposed social isolation, not to mention the amount of mental work that is required to hold your emotions in check all of the time especially when you are around other people and to stop you from feeling lonely, isolated and apart. To think like a social leper who is unworthy, will bring your self esteem and self confidence levels to such a low level that as you have stated, the thought of death seems like a better solution to the void which you are forcing yourself to endure.

To change this situation requires another choice, a choice to become a part of the whole, to allow others to help you to find yourself, to allow them to challenge you and your concepts. This will allow you to evaluate your own thoughts and beliefs, to asses those which enhance your existence and change those which are stopping you from becoming complete in the world as well as yourself.

The person you are looking for, is very self secure, full of self confidence and self esteem, they will stand out from the crowd to you, a complete opposite to yourself as they will be full of happiness with a zest for life, just attaching yourself and being around them will show you a different path than the one you have chosen for yourself; it starts with a smile and a hello I am ? it is nice to meet you.

That does have meaning, I do not like to be seen, I wear my hood up when it isn't really necessary and always avoid people in the street (whether I know them or not) even if it means I have to walk the long way round.

It makes me feel frozen in a thoughtless action-less state.

I don't use those methods very well, I don't really get any benefits probably because I'm not a pro.

OK. Why do you want to change that? How much do you want to change that? In terms of the balance of discomfort, I'm sure you know what I mean by that, what's it worth?

I just want the bad feeling of panic to stop, that's my only problem, that's what people cause. Is that why I don't like talking? Is that why my voice feels so hard to use? Or is that the real me?

If that goes away, who knows what would change, I can't even imagine how that would be, but how it or I would be is not important.

Hi Faceless
Well, you're pretty fluent with the written word. And you're not depressed. You sound quite OK with the way you are. Maybe you should just accept that this is how you are. My spiritual teacher says that we should be silent as much as possible. That speaking, and especially chattering and gossiping, uses up essential energy and drains and depletes us. Maybe you know this without being told. Everyone is different.
But in your first post you describe this as a problem so it seems you would like to be able to change. I don't have any real advice for you, just want to say that I hope it works out as you wish it to. Good luck.

Thank you. Yes I agree with what you have said, I had to discover this the hard way. I was very depressed, and had somewhat of a drug problem. It wasn't until I accepted myself that my depression disappeared (due to a crazy and wonderful kundalini event) , it just went *poof*. I thought I was lonely, I thought that I was incomplete, I thought the room I was in was empty, but that can never be, it's always full of me, I was so focused on the emptyness it's all I saw, I didn't notice ME, I filled it all. The world could end but I could not feel depressed, that's not possible.

Sounds very strange maybe even crazy. But maybe it's good for the soul to shed a bit of sanity every now and then 🙂

I did describe it as a problem, but it's just the negative emotional associations that are my problem, I feel panic around people, I disappear internally, so I have no choice but to avoid people, I have no desire to change the way I am, the silent solitary stranger (cool :cool:), but that doesn't mean that it won't happen if I cure this phobia of people/interaction, if it does it does, if not it doesn't.

Hello Faceless (I feel uncomfortable writing your screen name it makes me want to give you a hug), you might like to have a look at and click on Indigo children or Crystal children my intuition is telling me that you may find a lot of comfort there.

Love

Rebecca xx

I just read the characteristics and I do seem to fit the bill, I will read more of the info on that site, thanks.

Hi Faceless, it sounds as if you're saying that you don't want to communicate (at least by speech) with anyone- and there's nothing wrong with that. But it obviously is causing you a problem, otherwise you wouldn't even've started this thread, I guess.
If you were comfortable 'in your own skin', I think you would just adapt your life accordingly, live in a solitary way, do a job that meant you were working on your own etc., be happy and it wouldn't be an issue.

That's it exactly, when around people, or when I have to interact or talk (I feel FORCED to talk/interact) is when I am not comfortable in my own skin. I would LOVE to get a job working alone, but do those jobs exist?

If you want to feel ok with how you are, you could try something like homeopathy, which promotes self fulfilment and development. The treatment can enable you to get in touch with your feelings, feel more comfortable with yourself, and develop your full potential. Although some people think of it as a 'talking' therapy, the idea is that you convey to the homeopath exactly, how you are- and if that is quiet and uncommunicative, that is how he will want you to be in the consultation, to allow him to decide on the best remedies for you. It is non judgemental, there is no pre-determined outcome, and there is no pressure to say anything other than what you want to.

Thanks, I will bare this in mind.

Your problem lies within, when we do not perceive ourselves as being the same as everyone else then we withdraw from them and put up the barriers, then because we do not like the way we feel when we classify ourselves as being different and separate, we turn off our feelings and tell ourselves that it is all right to be different, to feel like an alien around others, so we do not develop good social skills.

Very true, I instinctively know I am not the same as people I see around me, the difference I feel is so great that it... umm, blinds me to potential possibilities.

This is a personal choice which you have made, the circumstances which led to this choice are not as important as the choice, the choice was to perceive yourself as being set aside, a reject comes to mind, one who does not belong, one who is dispossessed and actively seeks solitude where you and your conceptual understanding of life can't be challenged making them feel secure.

Definitely, everything I am feels threatened by people's very presence.

The consequences of this choice are self imposed social isolation, not to mention the amount of mental work that is required to hold your emotions in check all of the time especially when you are around other people and to stop you from feeling lonely, isolated and apart. To think like a social leper who is unworthy, will bring your self esteem and self confidence levels to such a low level that as you have stated, the thought of death seems like a better solution to the void which you are forcing yourself to endure.

That was me for a long time, at roughly the age of 22 that changed (26 now), I no longer feel like I am forced to endure an unhappy existence, I do have to endure fear/panic associated with people every now and then when I have to interact (or feel like it's just around the corner).

To change this situation requires another choice, a choice to become a part of the whole, to allow others to help you to find yourself, to allow them to challenge you and your concepts. This will allow you to evaluate your own thoughts and beliefs, to asses those which enhance your existence and change those which are stopping you from becoming complete in the world as well as yourself.

I feel as though because certain "barriers" were erected in me at such a young age, it is much harder for me to recognise them in any useful way and also the emotional intensity is more blinding, it also prevented aspects of myself from ever developing. I feel like this is up to God to cure, because I can't do anything with this raw, senseless, energy.

It feels like all the raw, primal energy that I was as a new born baby put itself into a very strong protective shield of tension and held itself there.

Some turquoise for your throat chakra would be useful for you. It will help with self-expression.

I have updated my desktop background accordingly 🙂

Why do you want to change that? How much do you want to change that? In terms of the balance of discomfort, I'm sure you know what I mean by that, what's it worth?

Why do I want to change it? I don't like the bad feeling, I would rather not care about being seen.
How much do I want to change that? Well, despite being OK with myself, I do consider it to be my life's goal to fully cure myself, and have no negative emotional reactions to silly things. I feel in the long run things like yoga, meditation, taichi, chi gung may help, so I am doing what I feel I can. I want it a lot.
In terms of balance of discomfort I would endure the most uncomfortable situations in order to heal. However I have done this and it only help slightly, let me explain.

Picture me twenty one years old, in my room, not set foot (litterally) outside my door for between two and three years. My fear of people causing incredible loneliness and depression. My brother had a lot of friends, he knew a lot of the people around my neighbourhood. When he invited them back to the house I locked my bedroom door in fear (actually I still do this).

Anyway, I eventually could no longer take it, I HAD to go out, see people, let people see me, hear what they said, saw what they did, explore this part of life. I had an emotional war going on inside me, one holding me down, the other, the one that was stronger, pulling me out. I had to face my fear, no choice about it, so out I went, it was a very uncomfortable experience, I hung around with my brothers friends, eventually I met and became acquainted with quite a lot of people. But I did it so badly, I was silent, only spoke when spoken to, was still very insecure, I was simply watching, looking, but the point was I was outside, with people.

After two or three years, I went back indoors, and closed the door behind me on that aspect of life for good.

You see, I was in such emotional turmoil because I thought I was missing out on something, I found out I wasn't, and so I went back to myself, and I could rest easy, alone.

Thank you for all the advice, I will follow what I can.

I have a question though, lately I have been considering claiming disability allowance (or whatever it's called) because I can't work like this. Do I go to my GP for this? What would happen, how would it go? I'm quite nervous about the whole thing. I have to "go somewhere" and "see someone" which always gives me cause for nervousness 😮

Thank you.
Calvin

Hi Calvin

I feel as though because certain "barriers" were erected in me at such a young age, it is much harder for me to recognise them in any useful way and also the emotional intensity is more blinding, it also prevented aspects of myself from ever developing. I feel like this is up to God to cure, because I can't do anything with this raw, senseless, energy.

The barriers where erected by you, to protect you, sorry but until you accept responsibility for making yourself the person you are, you will not be in a position to change anything.

The energy which you are manifesting, is as a direct response to your negative thought patterns, by actively choosing to change the way you think, your energy will change to adapt to your new thought patterns.

Your health and happiness is your responsibility, no one else can cure you, but cures are created from inner changes, inner changes come from making the right choices and taking responsibility for them.

So your first step towards creating a cure, is to look at the problem right in the eye and accept total responsibility for it, once you fully own it, you can start to change it.

I just want the bad feeling of panic to stop, that's my only problem, that's what people cause. Is that why I don't like talking? Is that why my voice feels so hard to use? Or is that the real me?

If that goes away, who knows what would change, I can't even imagine how that would be, but how it or I would be is not important.

Thanks for the name, Calvin 🙂

I just want to say that I agree with Paul, it isn't other people causing this, thank goodness (if it was other people doing it to you then your strategy of hiding yourself away would be working for you, and it isn't), it's your history. The good news is that because it's within you and not within others, you can change it, if you wish.

How you would be if you changed is of vital importance. The "real me" is a tricky concept, but if you are asking about what you would be without this particular bit of unwanted programming, that is certainly worth considering. Less stressed in a world full of people, obviously, but there is likely to be much more that follows on from that.

So much advice on here. So many trying to help. What's that like?

Hello Calvin,

I so agree with the others here when they say that other people are not your problem!

Though absolutely nothing like the prison you have put yourself into, I used to be so shy that I would hide under my mother’s skirts if anyone came to the house and though I had friends, I was unable to go out alone or, if we went shopping, to go up and ask for anything from the counter. It absolutely petrified me! I had a stutter and a stammer too.

I still don’t like parties and avoid them, but apart from that, I’ve found my freedom because of learning about what my true spiritual identity is – the free, loving, joyful and unique idea of the universal divine Mind, which holds everything in perfect equilibrium and harmony. I also learnt that self-consciousness is being conscious only of self, in other words, not loving others and as I made an effort to stop thinking about myself all the time and reached out to others, all those horrible limitations fell away and today people who meet me would never guess the pain I used to endure when around people I didn’t know.

But the most important lesson of all that helped me was growing to understand that we are put into this human experience in order to love – that is what it’s all about. Life is Love. Love, love, love. It’s when we are loving, that we are connecting to what we really are and that’s when we feel satisfied and at peace. Love is the very core of our being.

So let’s look at some of the mental impositions that you are accepting as being your true self (which they are actually the very opposite of):

I do not like people
I just don't have an interest in them
I am absolutely UN-interested in people
I don't care
I don't see myself in anyone.
I hate talking
I don't like my own voice either,
I would be paralysed, ashamed, worthless and pathetic.

You are none of the above. You were unconditionally loved before you were even born. You are a necessary part of the Universe – it would be incomplete without you Calvin. You have a unique and vital part to play – you are always empowered, confident, valuable and awesome! That is the real Calvin and you have only to accept it to begin to bring it into your experience.

…but I do like animals

Aha – at last, one positive statement!

OK Calvin, so why don’t you start the journey out of prison by emailing an animal shelter or charity, explain your problem, offer to work voluntarily with animals, but ask that no-one talks to you (or at least, the bare minimum that would be necessary)?

Always remember that Love is the core of our being.

Judy

Hi Calvin,

Think you might find these links interesting.

Norbu

Hi Calvin

I don't have any suggestions, as others have said things I might say - but I wanted to thank you for starting this thread which has evoked interest from so many people. I find your story fascinating, and I hope you can begin the journey of finding a way to be in the world that works for you.

Hi Calvin,

There is a useful self-help programme for social anxiety based on cognitive behavioural therapy which can be downloaded for here:

I used to have some really similar issues some years ago and know from personal experience that it is possible to overcome them. Things like EFT and NLP can be really helpful. Not sure if you are based in the UK but if you are, you could access CBT through your GP (the waiting lists should be as long nowadays as they used to be, with many more therapists employed and trained by the NHS).

Good luck

Masha