Hello!! ny name is Julia, I am 32/..
I have a terrible phobia during 20 years. Blushig (+tremor, social enxiaty etc). But blushing is the most awfull.
If you permit, I will try briefly tell how it began …
I was 12, free young girl. It was in the subway. I was sitting in front of a man. And I decided to "play one funny game" - I just started to look at him, to his eyes. It was so funny before and so easy. So, I am looking at him, he up his eyes at me and started also looked at me. For some moment it was funny, but suddenly I begin to feel an growing anxious shame and embarassement. I started to blush... I felt so deep blushing come from my body up to my face. I looked down, I didn’t know where to look, I wanted to rush and run away, so awfull strong this shame was, and he cotinued to look!! then maybe he felt a pity to me but he ended to look at me. Since that day my life became a hell. He BROKED me. From normal child in a month I become a pitiful creature blushing 24 hours per day. in every situation where I was not alone. Hell!!!
now I am 32. I used to this phobia, it became less awfull then when I was 13. Butnothing helped to get rid of it.
The situation now (become worse again). I cannot sit in front of somebody for example in subway. Because often even a brief look at me - and I become to blush (red as a beet, I watched it in mirror several times). Cant sit on table with even relatives, on holidays - because an easy question to me or paying attention on me and I started deeply blush... everybody see it, my shame, thay also feel confusion because of me, sometimes can say "sorry Julia..." and I want to die in such moments... among friends - somebody is telling something about me "oh, Julia, bla bla" or just joking at me - I started to deeply blush!!! just because they LOOK AT ME and I am in the centre of attention!!
Or I can walk on street, and if there is someone in front of me, on the street, especcially boys, while I approach at them I started to blush as a beet, they loughed at me several times etc. real hell ((
I am 32, life is destroyed. no job, family, boyfriend. because of this... the trigger main (core?) thought, is "I am being looked at", or "he (she, they) look at me". It's a strong conditioned reflex, where someone's eyes on me, attention at me is a stimulus, and blushing - automatically reaction ((
I tried EFT to my memories about the most awfull blushing situations, to that first situation with a man is the subway etc, but NO result. Can you help me, what phrase, HOW should I tip, what to say?... How can I (can I?...) destroye this old reflex?...
I am desperate.
Sorry of mistakes, Julia
Hi Julia, welcome to the forums. 🙂
Please examine your underlying thought patterns and beliefs surrounding if you think it is right or wrong for you to look at someone else! If you think it is wrong for you to look at other people, then you need to change that into it is quite all right for me to look at someone else, you should then be all right with people looking at you. 😉
Hello!! ny name is Julia, I am 32/..
I have a terrible phobia during 20 years. Blushig (+tremor, social enxiaty etc). But blushing is the most awfull.
If you permit, I will try briefly tell how it began …
I was 12, free young girl. It was in the subway. I was sitting in front of a man. And I decided to "play one funny game" - I just started to look at him, to his eyes. It was so funny before and so easy. So, I am looking at him, he up his eyes at me and started also looked at me. For some moment it was funny, but suddenly I begin to feel an growing anxious shame and embarassement. I started to blush... I felt so deep blushing come from my body up to my face. I looked down, I didn’t know where to look, I wanted to rush and run away, so awfull strong this shame was, and he cotinued to look!! then maybe he felt a pity to me but he ended to look at me. Since that day my life became a hell. He BROKED me. From normal child in a month I become a pitiful creature blushing 24 hours per day. in every situation where I was not alone. Hell!!!
now I am 32. I used to this phobia, it became less awfull then when I was 13. Butnothing helped to get rid of it.
The situation now (become worse again). I cannot sit in front of somebody for example in subway. Because often even a brief look at me - and I become to blush (red as a beet, I watched it in mirror several times). Cant sit on table with even relatives, on holidays - because an easy question to me or paying attention on me and I started deeply blush... everybody see it, my shame, thay also feel confusion because of me, sometimes can say "sorry Julia..." and I want to die in such moments... among friends - somebody is telling something about me "oh, Julia, bla bla" or just joking at me - I started to deeply blush!!! just because they LOOK AT ME and I am in the centre of attention!!
Or I can walk on street, and if there is someone in front of me, on the street, especcially boys, while I approach at them I started to blush as a beet, they loughed at me several times etc. real hell ((
I am 32, life is destroyed. no job, family, boyfriend. because of this... the trigger main (core?) thought, is "I am being looked at", or "he (she, they) look at me". It's a strong conditioned reflex, where someone's eyes on me, attention at me is a stimulus, and blushing - automatically reaction ((
I tried EFT to my memories about the most awfull blushing situations, to that first situation with a man is the subway etc, but NO result. Can you help me, what phrase, HOW should I tip, what to say?... How can I (can I?...) destroye this old reflex?...
I am desperate.Sorry of mistakes, Julia
Hi Julia
It may seem logical and very wise to keep examining the underlying or core issue behind this. I say, just allow the blushing to happen. You subconscuiously want to stop it and keep the fight going. What you resist persists. Analyzing etc is overrated. It keeps you in the pattern. Very little good comes out. Much angst happens with analysis because it is still resistance and not acceptance. Understanding dawn with acceptance, never with analyzing.
Another practical help will be to buy 2 of the following twelve tissue salts ( holland and Barrett do them)
Kali phos 6x
Ferrum phos 6x
Take Ferrum phos 3 times a day and kalimphos before going to bed. Kali phos will help greatly with anxiety and negativity while Ferrum phos will root out cause and effect of blushing
Love
Hello!! ny name is Julia, I am 32/..
I have a terrible phobia during 20 years. Blushig (+tremor, social enxiaty etc). But blushing is the most awfull.
If you permit, I will try briefly tell how it began …
I was 12, free young girl. It was in the subway. I was sitting in front of a man. And I decided to "play one funny game" - I just started to look at him, to his eyes. It was so funny before and so easy. So, I am looking at him, he up his eyes at me and started also looked at me. For some moment it was funny, but suddenly I begin to feel an growing anxious shame and embarassement. I started to blush... I felt so deep blushing come from my body up to my face. I looked down, I didn’t know where to look, I wanted to rush and run away, so awfull strong this shame was, and he cotinued to look!! then maybe he felt a pity to me but he ended to look at me. Since that day my life became a hell. He BROKED me. From normal child in a month I become a pitiful creature blushing 24 hours per day. in every situation where I was not alone. Hell!!!
now I am 32. I used to this phobia, it became less awfull then when I was 13. Butnothing helped to get rid of it.
The situation now (become worse again). I cannot sit in front of somebody for example in subway. Because often even a brief look at me - and I become to blush (red as a beet, I watched it in mirror several times). Cant sit on table with even relatives, on holidays - because an easy question to me or paying attention on me and I started deeply blush... everybody see it, my shame, thay also feel confusion because of me, sometimes can say "sorry Julia..." and I want to die in such moments... among friends - somebody is telling something about me "oh, Julia, bla bla" or just joking at me - I started to deeply blush!!! just because they LOOK AT ME and I am in the centre of attention!!
Or I can walk on street, and if there is someone in front of me, on the street, especcially boys, while I approach at them I started to blush as a beet, they loughed at me several times etc. real hell ((
I am 32, life is destroyed. no job, family, boyfriend. because of this... the trigger main (core?) thought, is "I am being looked at", or "he (she, they) look at me". It's a strong conditioned reflex, where someone's eyes on me, attention at me is a stimulus, and blushing - automatically reaction ((
I tried EFT to my memories about the most awfull blushing situations, to that first situation with a man is the subway etc, but NO result. Can you help me, what phrase, HOW should I tip, what to say?... How can I (can I?...) destroye this old reflex?...
I am desperate.Sorry of mistakes, Julia
Yes you can. Its a learned response and any such response can be unlearned. For me the key thing is WHY you are so averse t being looked at....but that could take some unravelling. If I had you sitting in my conuslting room I would initially try a fast phobia release. After all if you can get rid of the problem it really doesn't matter why it happened in the first place. Delving in to the why's and wherefores would be second choice. I would think EFT would be helpful but I suspect you have been using the wrong set up phrase. It depends which provokes the greater distress in you,. The blushing, or the dislike of being looked at. Your set up phrase needs to encompass something you feel with every fibre of your being. Good luck
Hi Julia - do you live in the UK? In a big city? Have you been trying EFT on your own, with guidance from the internet, or with a practitioner?
Hi Julia - do you live in the UK? In a big city? Have you been trying EFT on your own, with guidance from the internet, or with a practitioner?
Hi, I live in Ukraine. I don't even think there is a really good practioner here... so, I do it on my own (after have read much literature articles etc)..
Julia, it is good idea to express yourself. I would suggest group gatherings or group presentation or group discussion or preferable group games would ease the tension or shyness or awkward situation. Of course, this group would have such a leader that would take care the situation from cold building it into 'warm' environment.
I love to watch 'running man' from Korean series. It is joyful to watch they are playing and have fun at the same time. Forgetting all those 'problem' or 'shyness' or 'whatever things' on our mind and relax and build up the inner strength for the teamwork. Experience how happy getting to know somebody as well as knowing someone better.
Cheers.