my friend is dating a jewish guy, and he has told her that the relationship can not get serious because she is not jewish.
she has been reading about judaism quite a lot and said that it seems to resonate with her and she would be interested in looking into converting after some time.
everywhere she has looked states that the conversion takes a year, yet when she asked her boyfriend he has said it takes 8 years. the 1 year is like a "drive through" and really is not good enough. 8 years is the proper way and all he or his family would accept.
she has asked me to see if i can find anything out about this as she has no internet acces, and i thought i would ask on here and see what people had to say about it.
if anyone could point me in the right direction or give me some advice i would appreciate it greatly.
thank u
feathers xxx
RE: conversion to judaism
Tough one feathers, I once went out with an Israeli and he was not allowed to marry a non-Jewish woman without being cut from his wealthy family. Their view was that a child is not Jewish unless it is born of a Jewish mother and conversion does not include this. He did date a woman he loved for eight years then they sent him on a trip around the world to forget her, of course he never did. He did not like Jewish women and to the best of my knowledge 30 years later he still has not married because of it. His only fear that held him back was if he chose love and then that love ever left him he would be left with nothing. So we chose to have the most wonderful year together and then move on.
I will ask a friend if he has time to respond to your question regarding the act of conversion.
Love does not need conversion, LOVE just IS total acceptance in unconditional love.
Divine Love
RE: conversion to judaism
thank you divine love any help would be much appreciated.
xxx feathers xxx
RE: conversion to judaism
Hi,
just a thought.....why do jewish men (or women for that matter) date non jews when they know it can't get serious? I would be terrified that i would end up meeting my soulmate and then wouldn't be able to take it any further because they were not of the same religion as me.
People are free to date whoever they want, but i do think its unfair on the person who is not of that religion. What choice do they have other than to convert?
RE: conversion to judaism
I am Jewish and can confirm that the conversion process is extremely long and arduous if the intention is to become an orthodox Jew.
However, one can convert to Judaism as a reform or liberal Jew in a much shorter time, but this is not recognised by the Orthodoxy.
Unfortunately, like any organised religion, there is a lot of fragmentation, but I guess long term these traditions evolved to ensure that the religion continues.
Many Jews will not date someone who is not Jewish, but I guess, sometimes, people think they are just friends, and then their feelings overtake them.
I have always been brought up as a reform Jew and my children have had a Jewish education, but I would have no problem in them having relationships or marrying someone who isn't Jewish, as long as they were happy and were treated well.
Both my sisters married non Jews, and my mother found it difficult to reconcile herself to it with the first one, although that was probably more because he didn't treat her very well.
Lesley
RE: conversion to judaism
After conversion you are jewish. And your children will be Jewish too. King David's grandmother was a converted jew RUTH. And the Jewish Messiah being King David's offspring... comes from the same converted jewess.
RE: conversion to judaism
I am going back a few generations now, but my great grandfather on my fathers side was Jewish and originally from Holland, he married an Irish woman in England and he only brought up the eldest son as Jewish the rest of the children were brought up protestants which seems very strange indeed....It seems he also took the Irish surname although I have no knowledge of why unless it was to do with the war. A useless bit of information. 😀
Divine Love
RE: conversion to judaism
In Orthodox Judaism, a child is only considered Jewish if it's mother is Jewish, regardless of the father's religion. If the maternal line of Judaism is broken at any point, a child is not considered Jewish.
Lesley
RE: conversion to judaism
this is true, but a converted jew is a jew [as any other jew].
RE: conversion to judaism
Dear Lesley
Yes that was how it was presented to me by my boyfriend at the time, his family in Israel were orthodox, there was no question about conversion in fact this never ever came into the conversation for consideration at any point. I do remember though because we were bringing our relationship to a close after a beautiful year together, my mother then had an issue with sexuality and threw me out of the house. I was 23 and her view was that if we had been on holiday together then we must have slept together. I then went to stay with Benjamin until I could find somewhere to live and my God all hell broke loose. The phone never stopped ringing from his family from all around the globe. They made our lives absolutely impossible; so what was planned to end on a high note by us was destroyed by both families. Losing parents, partner and home all at the same time was very hard indeed......for this very sensitive soul. Thank God I had a good job and good friends to help me through this very difficult time.
I guess at the end of the day like all things it depends on the treasured beliefs of the people involved.
Divine Love
RE: conversion to judaism
That's very sad, but not surprising. I have seen many Jewish families torn apart because they have put their religious beliefs before their child's (or in some cases, grandchild's) happiness.
For those that know the story of Fiddler on the Roof, this is still a reality for many orthodox Jews. If a child marries 'out' (i.e. someone who is not Jewish), they consider that child dead and go through the mourning process.
Lesley
RE: conversion to judaism
Dear Lesley
Yes very sad indeed, and it really begs the question whether man's judgements and beliefs are getting in the way of Gods love for in God there is NO separation or judgement.
'I make no condemnation, I take no sides, I AM neutral.'
Religion certainly has a lot to answer for and it is not only Judaism other orthodox from other religions seem to be the same - the co-creators of duality which stops people coming into oneness and wholeness.
I love Fiddler on the Roof I saw it at Marble Arch on the big screen when it first came out and a cousin was key grip camerman on the film. So our family have great affection for it.
It seems that when religion is swept away people will be a lot happier and more free and liberated, just as God intended all in equality.
Divine Love
RE: conversion to judaism
PS check out this wonderful website
Divine Love
RE: conversion to judaism
i have not been around for a while, have had a lot of my own stuff going on, but would just like to say thank you all for your input, i have passed it on to my friend.
love
sarah
xxx