Whenever I’ve read the Bible – I’m always reminded how much God loves us uniquely as individuals and “self love” has always been promoted. When I mean “self love” I don’t mean being selfish and egocentric – more about loving ourselves for who we are and having a certain amount of self-esteem. Love others as you love yourself etc.
However many Churches (or perhaps I should say many Christian places of worship – of all denominations) I’ve been to, the emphasis has always been that a person should negate the self, be selfless and serve others. I heard a vicar once saying that the symbol of the cross is the letter “I” crossed out. Perhaps nothing wrong with that you might say – indeed Christianity has always been known for it’s charity etc. The trouble is, that this type of teaching of negating the self, I believe, can lead to all sorts of things like low self esteem, a sense of inferiority, not adequately taking care of one’s own needs etc - which is the opposite of what Christ himself taught. I know so many Christians who lack any self esteem and are always putting others first above their own needs. So much so, that their physical and mental health often suffers by running around for others and many are simply taken for granted by people who use them for their own needs. Because these people are so “nice”, they don’t value their own needs/wants or give their own needs/wants the same respect that they give others’ needs. They simply can’t say “no” and then almost become other people’s “servants” (for want of a better word). I have to admit this type of teaching by the clergy annoys me because in my mind it’s not what Christ taught. Yes- he taught us to be charitable, kind etc but not at the expense of our own health, peace of mind, self esteem etc.
I wondered whether any others had come across this ?
Hiya Happygirl,
My explanations of this have come to me mostly from an eastern perspective, and from that I've understood this to be a joyful thing; selfless action combined with pure love.
In Sanskrit the word 'Seva' means to serve selflessly, or pay homage. The idea is that through performing selfless service a person is performing a form of worship to God who resides in all of life. One acts without thought for reward or recognition, but instead dedicates every action to the Divine.
Selfless service should be performed joyfully. If a person neglects their own welfare whilst performing Seva their ability to be useful is reduced, so they're not helping anyone ultimately. Just as we should recognise divinity in all of life, we should recognise it in ourselves too.
Rabindranath Tagore put it well...
I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was duty. I acted, and behold, duty was joy!
Hi Happygirl,
I agree with Barafundle! Now I’m not sure that this is exactly what the clergy you’ve come across mean, but I too know that we can find the greatest satisfaction and happiness in serving others. it is a joyful thing, not self-effacing.
However, to come back to your point, Jesus (who was quoting Leviticus 19) said[COLOR="Purple"] “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” – how can we love our neighbour until we learn to love ourselves? By that I understand it to mean our real, spiritual, flawless and whole selfhood, which is the reflection of God, divine Mind.
Mary Baker Eddy wrote:
[COLOR="Blue"]There is but one I, or Us, but one divine Principle, or Mind, governing all existence; man and woman unchanged forever in their individual characters, even as numbers which never blend with each other, though they are governed by one Principle. All the objects of God's creation reflect one Mind, and whatever reflects not this one Mind, is false and erroneous, even the belief that life, substance, and intelligence are both mental and material. (Science and Health p 591)
And what I’m trying to say is fully explained in this wonderful healing from the chapter “Fruitage” at the back of Science and Health. You can read all of it here:[url]Born again[/url] (scroll down to line 19)
but this is the bit I cherish:
For a long time I was always looking back to see if the error had gone, until one day when I realized that to catch a glimpse of what spiritual sense means I must put corporeal sense behind me. I then set to work in earnest to find the true way. I opened Science and Health and these words were before me, "If God were understood, instead of being merely believed, this understanding would establish health" (p. 203). I saw that I must get the right understanding of God! I closed the book and with head bowed in prayer I waited with longing intensity for some answer. How long I waited I do not know, but suddenly, like a wonderful burst of sunlight after a storm, came clearly this thought, "Be still, and know that I am God." I held my breath--deep into my hungering thought sank the infinite meaning of that "I." All self-conceit, egotism, selfishness, everything that constitutes the mortal "I," sank abashed out of sight. I trod, as it were, on holy ground. Words are inadequate to convey the fulness of that spiritual uplifting, but others who have had similar experiences will understand.
From that hour I have had an intelligent consciousness of the ever-presence of an infinite God who is only good. --C. B. G., Hudson, Mass. (Science and Health p 668)
Hope that helps!
Love and peace,
Judy
Hi both,
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this way.
I honestly believe that yes - Christians should give out of an act of love and should look after themselves in order to do so. However my gripe is with the many clergy who neglect to inform thier congregations that THEY themselves are important and that they need to look after/love themselves as well as looking after others. Many sermons and various Christian literature I've read is very much skewed towards martyring yourself for the needs of others and is not balanced out with the message about loving and respecting yourself also. As I said - I've seen too many people lack any self esteem or self worth whilst running themselves ragged serving others. To me this isn't what Christ intended.
Some good points above by all. Judy picked a good quote out: love thy neighbour as thyself.
Now, I don't want to sound too anti-clergy, but from those I've met, and so very many have been self-obsessed TBH, I wouldn't bother too much about such sermons as I've so very rarely come across clergy who themselves live up to them.
V
I have to agree with you V that the clergy themselves don't often lead the best of lives - in fact many of them have committed the most henious of crimes - the latest being the vicar in Wales who downloaded child pornogrpahy (and his wife was in cahoots as well) !!
However the welfare of the clergy wasn't really the point of my initial post. What annoys me is that often many clergy don't give a true message what it's like to be a Christian nor give a true view as to how Christians should live. Christ himself (and the apostles) gave a more balanced view on how to lead a fruitful and spiritual life - and it's generally a "skewed" message that sadly often comes from the pulpits. There are many instances where the clergy or religious literature have left out many important points and, in doing so, do a great dis-service to their congregations. I only mentioned one at the start of this thread - that self love is also important - but there are also others as well - which I've come across over the years. However the main one I've noticed is that you should love others as you love yourself (I didn't quote from the Bible as it's a quote that most have heard about and I don't like "quoting" unnecessarily). The main point is that when churchgoers continuously hear a skewed message from the pulpit, it means that they are not hearing how to live the "balanced" life that Christ intended - thus leading to all sorts of problems which have been mentioned like low self esteem etc. Quite often people leave a Church service with a huge sense of unworthiness/guilt etc which is not the message that Christ put forward. Then the Churches wonder why their congregations are haemorraging !! If their clegy put forward Christ's complete message - then perhaps they'd find that their parishoners might have more fruitful lives and may even come to Church more often. They might even attract people who have never been to Church !
I see what you mean, then, HG.
To me, I'd expect any espouser of a religion to be one the way, or doing his/her best, to be an examplar of the life of the founder. You do for example meet great examples of living Hinduism.
In churches especially, in my experience, reverends and so forth usually aren't becoming an example of who I feel Jesus was (and is, since I don't believe he ceased to exist, or to care). You know that "vicar's voice"? "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today ... " It's IMHO like empty air. Kind of based on the "gentle Jesus, meek and mild" idea, whereas he was macho and strong in the right way, as the Bible clearly shows.
So as so often happens in religion, people come to scew (not screw but that would be apt also!) the message and example of a founder once he or she is enough removed in time. It's why true examplars come now and then in religion to reform and renew them.
V
Read Philippians 2 below. Self-love is absolutely NOT encouraged in the Bible, we are to be humble servants, like Jesus was:
5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature[] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature[] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.