I'm really worried and distressed at the behaviour of 'friends'. It's actually my boyfriend's work collegue and his wife, but we see them socially from time to time. I like them generally speaking, but don't feel comfortable/don't know how to express that they sometimes are rather cruel to their cats. They've got kittens, one is nearly an adult, the other is still quite small.
We were over there on Saturday, the wife's birthday, they were drinking and showed us something 'funny' they do to the cats It's really awful, because the older cat knew what was going to happen and started struggling and crying out. They basically pinned them down, and stuck a huge strip of sticky tape, which is supposed to remove cat hair from furniture, so it is very sticky and a good 5 inches wide, along the length of their bodies along their backs. The cats clearly became extremely distressed and crawled along the floor as if they were trying to duck. This is what the couple find so hilarious. I couldn't laugh, in fact I wanted to cry, especially when they ripped the stuff off, taking fur and whiskers with it. It must have been very painful for them.
They love their cats, I've no doubt, but it's a very selfish kind of love, I must say. They get pulled about to the extent that I hate to watch t and sit there contantly praying that they won't break a bone, or seriously hurt them in another way. The wife does things like encourage them to eat food straight from her mouth, which I feel is a bit disgusting, anyway.
It's a shame, because they are otherwise really affectionate with their cats, cuddling them and keeping them safe with regards to vet care etc. It's just the rough behaviour that I have trouble with. I can't bear to see it.
I just felt the need to vent this.
Tiger.
RE: They don't know how CRUEL they can be.
😮 I really do wonder about people sometimes. Sounds like a similar trick that my friends like doing, wrapping a tea towel around a cats belly so they lose control of their back legs. How anyone can do that to their animals I do not know, but then I suppose most people dont look at their animals in a truely personal sense. They seem them as their pets but not as 'equals'.
Perhaps you could walk out of the room or say something to them next time they do it? Not quite sure what you could say but just pointing out the cruelty, not to cause an argument, but to at least make them think.
On a lighter note you could always run up to them and stick the tape onto their hair and rip it off and see how they feel!
RE: They don't know how CRUEL they can be.
I LOVE doogles idea!! Do it to them and see how they like it... if you need help pinning them down i would like to offer my services 😉 lol.
I couldnt bear to watch that happen so i would either leave or simply not go round there anymore. Who needs friends or acquaintances like that???
XF
RE: They don't know how CRUEL they can be.
How disgustingly cruel.
Quite frankly I could not count anybody who did this to an animal as a friend. Only you can make the decision about what you will do about it but I could not sit back and allow it happen without saying something. My head would explode!
Tell your 'friend' that you have something really amazing to show them. Get them to close their eyes, stick the tape over tone of their eyebrows and pull. Hard. Then ask them how they like it.
RE: They don't know how CRUEL they can be.
I have to say I am outraged by your friends' behaviour and I would definitely say something if it were me. I would also be prepared to lose their friendship.
Sometimes things have to be said, regardless of the consequences.
Cruelty comes in different guises, and what they are doing to their two cats is CRUEL and controlling and causing them unnecessary pain and distress.
I pray that they will come to their senses.
Love and light
Rosi X
RE: They don't know how CRUEL they can be.
Thanks, everyone.
Doogle, your idea made me laugh! It seems to have been ehoed a bit by the others!!
On a serious note, I think I will have to say something if it happens in my presence again. I pray it won't happen at all. Sometimes, I have immense difficulty in asserting myself and unfortunately, in this case, it's to the detriment of the animals, so I'm not proud of myself. One thing's for sure, I will have to leave the room if they do anything like that again. I was sitting there feebly saying, 'Oh that's cruel,' but it wasn't loud or assertive enough. I don't get how they can be so affectionate with their cats, call them their 'babies' etc, yet treat them as they do. Would they treat a baby like that?
I guess I regard them more as aquaintances than friends. It's really that it's my boyfriends collegue and friend. It takes a lot for me to call a person a friend, which is why when I first mentioned them I put the word in inverted commas. They're certainly not winning me over with their occasional cruelty to the cats, that's for sure.
Tiger.
RE: They don't know how CRUEL they can be.
Tigerlilly
Most child abusers etc are normally friends of the family and they "act" like they love the children or in your case animals but only when other people are around. what you are seeing may only be a tiny bit of cruelty that they act out on these poor cats. When there is nobody around it could be much much worse.. who knows? only the cats!!!
Be strong, stand your ground and just tell them!! or even better report them!!!
XF
RE: They don't know how CRUEL they can be.
Lol 😉
Dont beat yourself up over it, we've all witnessed things that we dont agree with and been unable to find the voice at the time. Its certainly easier said than done.
[sm=hug.gif]
RE: They don't know how CRUEL they can be.
Hi Tigerlily, I agree with Doogle when he says "don't beat yourself up", and sometimes it is easier said than done to say something.
Perhaps if it happens again in your company, you may find just the right words to point out that what they are doing isn't funny at all, but cruel. Also, sometimes we don't say anything because the behaviour has shocked us, and just can't find the words at that moment.
Please don't worry and don't blame yourself, perhaps your reaction was enough that they won't repeat what they did ever again.
I have just re-read your posts and you certainly did make your feelings known, first of all you didn't laugh or find it hilariously funny, (like they were expecting you to), and secondly you did say "Oh, that's cruel".
What you said and how you reacted sent them a clear message, let's pray that they will take your message on-board and change their behaviour with their kittens.
Love and light
Rosi X