How do you know whe...
 
Notifications
Clear all

How do you know when the time is right to say goodbye?

5 Posts
5 Users
0 Reactions
1,852 Views
Posts: 1264
Topic starter
(@amber-lady)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago

Hi everyone,

I'm in a quandry and looking for your thoughts.

We take animals into our lives, make a promise to look after them, they trust us to do what is best for them. Hopefully they are part of our lives for many years, and if we're lucky they will have long happy lives and pass away naturally. However sometimes we reach a point of wondering whether it's time to make that last journey to the vets.

When I had to make that last journey with my dog Zak almost 15 years ago it was pretty clearcut - he had bad arthritis, his liver was failing, he was in a lot of pain and I couldn't watch him suffering so much any longer. That didn't make the grief any easier though, but I was consoled by knowing that he'd had a good life and was now free of pain, and afterwards we had assurances from my vet that she thought we had timed it just right for him.

Now I find myself looking at my poor old cat Frankie. She's around 15 years old now, she's losing her sight, and we've realised over the last few weeks that she is now almost totally deaf. She also has an upper respiratory tract infection that isn't clearing up, she has constant sneezes and snufflles and isn't her usual self, and the vet has said that she will probably never fully get rid of it now. She's also starting to do daft things, like curling up to sleep in the litter tray when it's freshly changed. However she doesn't seem to be in any pain, she's eating well, she enjoys a bit of fuss, but otherwise she just seems to sleep a lot. I find myself half expecting to come downstairs one morning and find she has passed away in her sleep, which is the way I would like her to go. But am I being selfish in keeping her going in her current state?

How did you know when it was time to let go?

Sorry if this is upsetting for some people, I still miss my Zak every day and remember that last day as if it were yesterday, but I want to do the best or Frankie and would really welcome your thoughts.

With love,
Amber

4 Replies
Posts: 1838
(@jnani)
Noble Member
Joined: 15 years ago

Hi there
A real dilemma there. We had a dog who was over 20, her name Patchouli. She was just like you describe your dog. Practically dead one might say but she did enjoy her meal had a wander about the kitchen then slept and slept. Would again wake up for food and a brief wander about, blind as a bat and nearly deaf. We just did not have heart to bring her life to an end. Will be honest we thought about it. We just let nature take care of her time on Earth. She died in her sleep one day. Looking back I feel thank God we did not interfere.
We lost Burt last January, we did everything that would help him to live but he did not survive the operation but again...there are practical implications that are slightly different in every situation. Feel what you are called to do in your heart rather than weighing all the pros and cons. A loving farewel is better sometime. Who can say? Life is spontaneous.

Reply
trinabeanbag
Posts: 485
(@trinabeanbag)
Reputable Member
Joined: 17 years ago

What does you heart say will be better for Frankie? My neighbour adored her elderly cat who had severe kidney failure her vet felt the cat should have been put to sleep but my neighbour spend hours finding a vet who would try and save the cat well she spend £1000 on a procedure, which the cat passed away form 1 day later , i felt my neighbour didnt have the poor cats intersts at heart.
My own dog is a 5 year old rough collie pedigree and he has had so manyhelath problems and has to take numerous meds each day. he had a major op in jan which he didnt cope too well with, having had lengthy discussions with his vet we have decided that it wouldnt be fair to put him through any more major procedures, he is so-so at the moment , but having seen what he has been through, we will just strive to make him confortable. I feel to put him through anyting else would be for our benfit and not his. He may be ok i hope for years to come, but we cant be sure.

Reply
dogwoman
Posts: 125
(@dogwoman)
Estimable Member
Joined: 14 years ago

My heart goes out to you. You have my deepest sympathy. I recently had to make the decision for my two elder dogs. One had cancer and one had kidney failure. It is very difficult to know when the time is right. We have to trust our instincts and take a hard look at the quality of life. The decision is part of being a good owner for our pets. Making that final decision is part of the love.

Twice I have waited too long. The result was that my pets had to be put down on an emergency basis. I will always regret that I didn't take those elderly dogs in for euthanasia until the very last minute. They had to be put down because they suddenly went into distress, they were suffering. I could have prevented that pain.

Reply
Posts: 170
(@naturally)
Estimable Member
Joined: 15 years ago

If its any consolation, I've been through the same situation with lucy, a 19 year old cat.

She had arthritis, polyps in her ears which bled constantly, she had an overactive thyroid meaning she asked for food all the time, and nobody is quite sure why but she took to sleeping in her litter tray too. In fact, she toook to requiring a litter tray full stop, as she was a free range cat, but decided aged about 17 that behind the dresser was the toilet area!

We agonised for ages about if it was fair to keep her going, but with the vet's guidance and our own observations observed that she was still enjoying a reasonable quality of life.

She eventually left aged 19 with a urine infection and acting thoroughly fed up: it was obvious at that point that she wanted to go.

if it helps, there is a set of guidelines meant for farm animal welfare, but I think applies to domestic animals too when assessing their ability to perform and enjoy normal life.

the 5 freedoms:

1. Freedom from Hunger and Thirst
2. Freedom from Discomfort
3. Freedom from Pain, Injury or Disease
4. Freedom to Express Normal Behaviour
5. Freedom from Fear and Distress

I would see if measuring things up by the above gives you any more insight.

Love, naturally

xxx

Reply
Share: