Two Norwegian beauties were having their picture taken, and the photographer was taking some time getting the right angle.
'Vy iz ee taking so long' asked Inga,
'He az to focus'
'No, tell him picture first then focus after!'
Italian who went to Malta
now you remember me another joke I have heard.
I think it is called "Italian who went to Malta". Italian accent makes him sound like he's swearing when he's not. If you search on the web you will find a free download of it.
Here is a part of it:
"...Later, I go to eata at the bigga restaurant,
the waitress brings me a spoon and a knive,
but no fork,
I tell her i wanted a fork,
she tella me everyone wanna *,
i tell: "you dont understand,
I wanna fork on my table",
she says: "you better not * on the table you son of a bitch",
I dont even know the lady and she calls me a son of a bitch...:
Get the gist of that joke. Ha ha. I remember Stan Boardman telling a joke on Parkinson about these German 'Fokkers'. Caused a bit of a stir and some complaints.
They bombed our chippy did the Germans!
good one windy where do you find your jokes
good one windy where do you find your jokes
I would love to say I make them all up but sadly not.
I saw a book on a boot sale for, I think, 50p called 'The Seriously Rude Joke Book'. I thought it may cheer some people up a bit hopefully!
I take most from there (sometimes with a little polite amendment eg wee, sexual intercourse etc. the usual expletives deleted) so our prim and proper readers are not shocked.
If you want any un-censored versions pm me.