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Posts: 931
Topic starter
(@windynights)
Prominent Member
Joined: 18 years ago

Little mary put her head round the kitchen door, 'Hey mum can 8 year olds get pregnant?'
'Of course not ' replied mum,
Mary turned round 'Its ok fellas, we can keep playing the game'

The English teacher asked Johnny to give her a sentence using the word 'definitely'.
Johnny thought for a few minutes then said 'Miss, does a fart have lumps in?'
A little shocked Miss quickly recovered her composure,
'No not to my knowledge, why do you ask?'
Well, Miss, I've definitely just s--- myself!'

First day at school the boys are assessing the new teacher.
'How old do you think she is?' said little Fred
'Dunno' said his mate 'but if we can get her knickers off we can find out'
'How will that help?' said Fred.
'Well, on the back of mine it says 8-10 years'

8 Replies
Posts: 1491
(@lindaannh)
Noble Member
Joined: 18 years ago

:D:D:D lol thanks windy these cheered me up.
Linda

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Posts: 12
(@vanesa)
Active Member
Joined: 11 years ago

'Hey mum can 8 year olds get pregnant?'

Haa...ha..ha:D:D:D

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thehermit
Posts: 1390
(@thehermit)
Noble Member
Joined: 20 years ago

That's better
Fun is to be had:D

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Posts: 112
(@brian-jones)
Estimable Member
Joined: 11 years ago

That's good one windy! it made my day! 😀

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maribanks
Posts: 22
(@maribanks)
Eminent Member
Joined: 11 years ago

Hahaha, really funny! 😀

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amy green
Posts: 2258
(@amy-green)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago

Misquoted nursery rhymes
"Little Miss Muppet,
sat on her tuffet,
eating her curtain away..."

"Mary mary, quiet and hairy..."

Misquoted Lord's Prayer:
Our father
watch out in heaven

General Remarks
"When baby won't stop crying, mummy puts a plug in his mouth."
"Vicars don't laugh much because Jesus didn't tell many jokes."
"Why don't they give the footballers a ball each, then they wouldn't have to fight over it"
"Mum, if that stuff on your face is to make you more beautiful, when does it start to work?"
"Sometimes I help mummy work - I stay out of her way."
"When mummy wears a dress, she looks like a real person."

Eulogy for a hamster
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust,
for richer for poorer
may the force be with you
because you're worth it
Amen and out.

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Posts: 764
 mac
(@mac)
Prominent Member
Joined: 21 years ago

😀

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maribanks
Posts: 22
(@maribanks)
Eminent Member
Joined: 11 years ago

LOL!

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