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HEALTH NEWS: No Real Proof Why People Shouldn't Be Eating Candles

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(@wildstrawberry)
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Health Department Still Not Able To Really Prove Why People Shouldn't Be Eating Candles
February 6, 2012 | ISSUE 48•06

WASHINGTON—Department of Health and Human Services officials held a press conference Monday to announce that while no studies had been conducted to establish that the practice is unhealthy, people still should not eat candles. "While we doubt the ingestion of small amounts of candle wax is life-threatening, we nonetheless recommend that anyone thinking about eating candles refrain from doing so, and that anyone currently eating candles stop," said HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, who during a follow-up Q&A confirmed the guideline even applies to pumpkin-pie-scented candles and birthday candles with frosting and cake on the bottom half. "Instead of conducting clinical trials on the long-term effects of candle consumption, we're just going to ask people to use their common sense on this one. Please don't eat candles." At the same press conference, HHS officials also suggested that people shouldn't eat lip balm "because, come on, don't be an idiot"

More News : [url]The Onion [/url]- America's Finest News Source

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 Kiga
(@kiga)
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Joined: 16 years ago

I love that, WildStrawberry! 😉

(Click on the Onion, folks, and read a lot more seriously funny deadpan news reports.)

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Posts: 954
Topic starter
(@wildstrawberry)
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Joined: 13 years ago

Ohhhh, I know Kiga - so funny over at The Onion....heehee - did you read the horoscopes!

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