Not sure whether to put this on Jokes! or Thoughts for Today....:rolleyes:
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll
explain it by using a Q & A format:
Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?
A. It is money that the government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV
set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.K. economy by
spending your stimulus cheque wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Asda or Tesco, the money will go to
China, Taiwan or Sri Lanka .
* If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China .
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and
Guatemala ..
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy shares, it will go to
management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in the UK by:
1) Spending it at car boot sales, or
2) Going to night clubs, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) On beer or whisky. or
5) Get some tattoos.
(These are the only UK businesses still operating in the U.K. )
Conclusion:
Be patriotic - go to a night club with a tattooed prostitute that you met at
a car boot sale and drink beer day and night!
No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
🙂
(unknown author)
thanks for the advice, I will follow it to the letter lol
I am already doing my bit for the country!
Always wanted a tattoo - now can tell Hubby it would be for a very good reason :D.
Can't drink beer,tho' - will cider do instead?
Yvonne x
You could add to that
and to recover from the pain of receiving the tattoo, the hangover from the beer, the aches & pains from your night wih the prostitute call on the services of a HealthyPages complementary therapist to make you feel better
Judging by the number of people on this website alone I suspect that this also comes into the "These are the only UK businesses still operating in the U.K." category!
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