Great Advice to Pass on to Your Daughters
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal...
Maybe it's because I am a man, but I don't understand why this was posted in the Jokes! forum???
Maybe it's because I am a man, but I don't understand why this was posted in the Jokes! forum???
O dear Derek wrong forum obviously! Should have stuck it in "Ancient mysteries" or you think "gardening" more appropriate? :p
LOVE it jnani!! Really made me laugh.:rollaugh::rollaugh::rollaugh:
But hesitate to send it to my daughter who, at 37 has finally found a suitable partner 😉
LOVE it jnani!! Really made me laugh.:rollaugh::rollaugh::rollaugh:
But hesitate to send it to my daughter who, at 37 has finally found a suitable partner 😉
Caroline this gave me a good laugh first thing in the morning too.
Us lesser mortals can't pass on the same advice as dear Mrs Brown, can we?.
She has people doubling up on the floor...will be quite different story if we dished it out! Best to stick it on forums and laugh it over
Caroline this gave me a good laugh first thing in the morning too.
Us lesser mortals can't pass on the same advice as dear Mrs Brown, can we?.
She has people doubling up on the floor...will be quite different story if we dished it out! Best to stick it on forums and laugh it over
Absolutely!
Advice for daughters - 1950's style
This is for Derek, 'cos he's upset. When you think that this is where women came from (and still do in some countries) it's no wonder we have a bit of fun at your expense sometime. This might not have been written as a joke - but it makes me laugh! I of course follow all 12 commandments to the letter! :rolleyes:
The following is from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for High School girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life.
1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a well balanced, delicious meal - prepared and ready to serve at the usual time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed. Some men like a drink before dinner, if so, plan to keep the meal warm, and not burn anything while he finishes his drink.
2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift. Remember too that the women who are in the work force are usually well-dressed and single, and probably looking for a husband.
3. Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.
4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are too young to do so themselves. Comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are his little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Caution the children that while discussion is welcome at the dinner table, unpleasant squabbles or disputes should wait until a later time.
5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer or dryer. Make sure all appliances, such as the vacuum are properly put away. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.
6. Avoid Using the Phone: Should anyone telephone you before/during/after dinner, politely advise them you'll return their call after doing the dinner dishes.
7. Things to Avoid: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner and didn't have time to call. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.
8. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind, either before or after dinner. Some men relax with the evening paper, others with TV.
9. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. However, should you sense his mood sullen because of the business day, be prepared for some light hearted banter or just some small talk.
10. Stress the Positive: Plan to inform your husband of the positive events of the day; include the children's accomplishments.
11. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax.
12. The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax and enjoy himself.
This is for Derek, 'cos he's upset. When you think that this is where women came from (and still do in some countries) it's no wonder we have a bit of fun at your expense sometime. This might not have been written as a joke - but it makes me laugh! I of course follow all 12 commandments to the letter! :rolleyes:
The following is from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for High School girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life.
1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a well balanced, delicious meal - prepared and ready to serve at the usual time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed. Some men like a drink before dinner, if so, plan to keep the meal warm, and not burn anything while he finishes his drink.
2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift. Remember too that the women who are in the work force are usually well-dressed and single, and probably looking for a husband.
3. Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.
4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are too young to do so themselves. Comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are his little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Caution the children that while discussion is welcome at the dinner table, unpleasant squabbles or disputes should wait until a later time.
5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer or dryer. Make sure all appliances, such as the vacuum are properly put away. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.
6. Avoid Using the Phone: Should anyone telephone you before/during/after dinner, politely advise them you'll return their call after doing the dinner dishes.
7. Things to Avoid: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner and didn't have time to call. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.
8. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind, either before or after dinner. Some men relax with the evening paper, others with TV.
9. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. However, should you sense his mood sullen because of the business day, be prepared for some light hearted banter or just some small talk.
10. Stress the Positive: Plan to inform your husband of the positive events of the day; include the children's accomplishments.
11. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax.
12. The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax and enjoy himself.
Apart from getting prepared, minimizing noise, clearing the clutter, avoiding the phone...and couple other, I do most of things on your list instictively!!! God! How terribly old fashioned am I!
(Some very solid advice there Judy. After witnessing each other's madness for a time..it becomes spontaneous. Caring but not too careful. )
This thread is taking a dangerously serious turn!
I'll have to post some more utterly silly jokes methinks...:D
Well Judy, that was the advice my mother gave me almost word for word :o, except for item 8 o- that was implied for later!
Uh-oh - how things have changed :rolleyes:
Oh Jnani - you're letting the liberated females down! I have trained my husband to bring me breakfast in bed every morning. He does all his own laundry and ironing, most of the shopping and cooking and cleans downstairs. (I pay a cleaner to do upstairs!) That's why these instructions make me giggle.
Anything technical and most of the gardening,I do. It works.
Well Caroline - I hope you heeded your mother's advice!! 😀
My mother was the complete opposite - she told me never to get married - that it was the beginning of a life of servitude. Funny, I haven't noticed that! :p
My mother was the complete opposite - she told me never to get married - :p
Hi Judy
Could it be that she was just trying to protect the male population.........
Just kidding....:D
Well Caroline - I hope you heeded your mother's advice!! 😀
Nope! Never did listen!! 😉 Oh, and we're still married after many, many years! :rolleyes:
Oh Jnani - you're letting the liberated females down! I have trained my husband to bring me breakfast in bed every morning. He does all his...
My mother was the complete opposite - she told me never to get married - that it was the beginning of a life of servitude. Funny, I haven't noticed that! :p
Judy Let down it is! Abomination!
Your mother meant... "beginning of a life of servitude"- for your husband! 😀
(God saved this thread from a slow death of seriousness bymere inches...
Its all going on right track now)
Hi Judy
Could it be that she was just trying to protect the male population.........
Just kidding....:D
:rollaugh: :rollaugh: :rollaugh:
Nope! Never did listen!! 😉 Oh, and we're still married after many, many years! :rolleyes:
That's great! It's 31 years with us. A bit of equality never did anyone any harm - hey? 😉
Your mother meant... "beginning of a life of servitude"- for your husband! 😀
Spot on girl! 😀 (Just as well that he doesn't look at HP!!)