Lets give this a try - we'll make a virtual soap. I'll start things off, and you can feel free to add to the storyline etc. Its just a bit of fun, but try and take it seriously aswell. The soap is to be fun and bizarre things can happen, but it must also be approachable, so not too many UFO'S and the like.
So, lets go.
The story is set in the fictional area of Strawberry Hill Village. There is a church, a post office, as well as an empty shop next door to the post office. The nearest town is a 20 minute drive.
The residents:
The Cromwells at number one: Judith and her sister Edith are fanatic christians, and are always at the church, reading the bible, organising days out for the children and picnics. Edith works part time at the post office. However, they harbour a secret. They aren't really sisters. Judith and Edith are lesbians.
The Broons at number two: Theres gran broon, who is as fiesty at 70 as she was at 20. Never short of a funny one liner, and always getting into trouble and giving granpa broon a headache. She sees Edith and Judith as fuddy duddys. Their daughter Amanda lives with them, she is 34 and her husband, the local baker is 38. Richard, the baker, has a high cholestral problem. Richard has a daughter from a previous marriage, Collette is 19 and very blonde and beautiful.
The Warriors at number three: Is actually a student house. Its owned by one of the lads fathers who has just gone travelling, and the 3 boys who are 18, 25, and 31 live there for the cheap rent, getting the early bus to university.
Number four is currently for sale
The Ashmonds at number five: Live in a large property, with cobwebs and creaky floor boards. but thats how they like it, This weird family are similar to the Addams family, but not as far fetched.
there is a farm with 4 people living on it
and finally, The Harpers at number six: Business man Jack Harper comes here at the weekends with his mistress. Little do the other residents know, Jack is very rich and drawing up plans to take over Strawberry Hill Village to turn it into a health farm retreat and stables.
On a fine brisk Friday morning Gran Broon walked with her daughter Amanda to the local post office for the usual kind of supplies bread, milk, eggs that it supplied to the community. As they neared the little post office they noticed the door still had the ‘closed sign’ showing, no boards or produce outside and no lights on or signs of life.
They looked at each other as they neared the shop, Gran looked at her watch and noted the time, 08:12.
“That’s not like Stanley not to be open, he opens at 6 for the papers and stuff.”
“Yeah, have we got the time wrong Mum?” said Amanda.
“No, I’ve just checked and it’s gone 7 ,” said Gran.
The two ladies walked up to the post office window and peered in. There were the usual baskets of bread out and items in the open refrigerator but the post office counters were closed. Gran and Amanda had to really strain to see past all the shadows. Stanley 63, the Post Master, moved to nearby Apple Orchard 3 years ago after losing his wife. He felt the simple life and fresh air was going to be very healing for him especially as he had been recently diagnosed with depression.
Amelia went around to the side of the post office to the back entrance and something caught her eye in the lower garden connected to the property. She went to the rear and as she turned the corner to get better look that is when she screamed!!.............
There was Stanley in all his naked glory bouncing on his newly acquired trampoline!!!!!!.........................
Amelia, who had started the walk as Amanda, had screamed in rage.
Stanley had been the only person in the village who had passed the audition and appeared on Look Good Naked. His sob story about losing his wife had touched the heart of the nation and his new found confidence in his body had turned his life around.
However every single woman in the village had also auditioned and were extremely jealous of his new found pride in his belly and dangly bits. Amanda was furious that it was him, not her, who would be auditioning as Naturist masseur at the proposed new health farm that secretly everyone now knew about. And not only that but she had looked over his shoulder when he was on the internet at the library to see that he was planning to meet all the other devil-my-care HPers who didn't mind letting it all hang out in a naturist sauna (can't wait for the photos), but not that one up in Doncaster because it's too Northern and cold and nobodies' bits look quite as impressive north of the Watford Gap. That's why the Scots wear kilts:it doesn't matter.
Within an hour Stanley was dead.......................
“Poor Stanley,” Amanda thought as she dug the 6ft hole in the garden of the Post Office, “Poor Stanley.”
But “hey ho,” she told herself “another one bites the dust and besides he had his bit of Gok,”
Both Gran Broon and Amanda were back home at number 2. They sat by the open fire enjoying crumpets and butter, Gran turned to Amanda “How are you getting on with this new massage course you are doing deary?”
“Oh, not bad,” Amanda said with butter running down her mouth.
“You know, I would kill for a good rub down now, my shoulders are really stiff” Gran complained!
“Yes Mum, I would kill for one too,” Amanda replied with a glint in her eye.
At that Granpa Broon raced in from his afternoon walk. “You know there is some sort of commotion at the Post Office, ol’ Stan’s gone missing but left a pile of designer clothes on the back porch” he said breathlessly “Why would he do that?” he asked..…………
“Well he did tell me last time I saw him he was going ‘down-under’ for a holiday, sposed to be really lovely there this time of year!” Amanda mentioned. “Oh, and he did say he would leave me his ‘Gok’ clothes as a present for doing so well on my massage course”.
There was a pregnant pause for a moment, Granpa sat down, shrugged, and buttered a crumpet.
About an hour later there was a very ominous knock at the door, Granpa got up to answer it. When he opened the door two Policemen stared at him
“Does Amanda Broon reside here sir?”……………………………………
Amanda pushed her grandad out of the way when she heard Serge and Lorenzo Ashmond, the village bobbies, at the door. Although she'd been married to Richard for six years now, this was getting boring for a soap character and a relationship with a weird sexy policeman who lived over the road is overdue. Two weird sexy policemen who live over the road is a little excessive but if anyone can make this work, Amanda can.
"Gd evening Ms Broon", said the gravelly-voiced PC Lorenzo.
Amanda's lips pouted a little as she turned towards him. But then she heard his brother's breathy tones, "How are you Ms Amanda?", and her breasts visibly swelled as she stepped over Grandad to position herself to her best advantage.
"I'm fine boys" she purred as peered past them. Behind them she saw Edith Cromwell, the lesbian postmistress, staring straight at her..........
The previous evening there had been a wonderful party thrown by the people living in the farmhouse. They hired a marquee and all their friends from around the country had attended a wonderful Autumn fest. Hp family came from all over and a merry meet was enjoyed by all.
See if you can recognise anyone
Sunny, Venny, and Prashy, enjoyed a bevvy while discussing current affairs.
the Bias help a few straighten up after the spinal twisters boogied away a bit zealously.
The apples oakey and crabby, provided some wonderful apple scrumpy, while their little pet familiars pip and acorn scrabbled about and Treacle brought trays full of toffee. Trinny and fleur brought lots of homegrown veggies, with plent of HP sauce to go around.
All the fairy folk fluttered with the moon magicians.
The flower people were all blooming gorgeous.
All the animals purred (tigress), hopped (funnybunny), and preened.
Unfortunately, Darren's sat nav faulted, he couldnt follow the path, and arrived late, having met up with some of the angels who showed him the way.
spinal music and holistic gave some wonderful drum rhythms to the night, and Calla plucked her gutsy guitar. sometimes a little too loud for Baby tho and mummy just had the right Touche to lull him to sleep.
Trinny, Mea, Oakey and yours truly did a little poetry recital.
So the village was full of merryment that night..............and oh, what job mr Policeman had on his hands, a murder mystery and a village full of strangers!.
Perhaps they needed a little help from some of the psychics and card readers, could Amelia, Jeannette, callla, Healistic shed a little light I wonder?
Meanwhile, hiding behind the local Chippy ‘Your Plaice or Mine’ the two Rachel’s, Cirrus and Enchantedhands, were planning their revenge for not being invited to the HP meet.
“Did you bring the silly string Rach?” said Cirrus
“Yep, did you bring the potatoes Rach?” said Enchantedhands
“Yeah, lets go….” Cirrus wailed in a maniacal scream.
Off they ran to the farm house, with plenty of body rolls and diving. Which is ‘b***dy hard with a sack of potatoes in tow I might add!...............
:dance:But................the rachels were not as elusive as they thought with all the ducking and diving...............the mods still had their hard hats on.............giving protection from a possible onslought of potato throwing.......or string entanglement.
anyway, after a little debate, the Rachels were welcomes into the meet with gusty hugs:grouphug: :food-smiley-004:, sat down to a beer, and their potatoes duly arranged on the embers of the glowing bonfire near the field perimeter where all the pixies, fairys and elves had assembled.
and of course, no-one??? knew of the demise of poor Stanley.......
Amanda continued looking Lorenzo up and down (mostly down) while she remembered the party at the farm the night before and the 3.5 minutes in the cattle shed they enjoyed together when everyone else enjoyed their baked potatoes.
Back in the moment…. she stared at the three of them for a second or two wondering if she had been ‘busted’. She was sure she had buried Stanley deep enough; after all she was an old hand at digging and burying!!!
After a very short time of contemplation she said to herself “Oh well, I’ll try anything once”, and out she stepped grabbing her bomber jacket as she went. The three of them strode over the road to number 5 and went into PC Lorenzo and Sarg’ Serge’s house with Edith shiftily following behind. The boys knew the house was free for the rest of the weekend because Mamma, Pappa and the twins Adelina and Babetta had gone to Italy to see great uncle Muster Ashmond.
Amanda had always had a reputation as the village bike but after her marriage to Richard the baker she had seemingly become more reserved. But the bronzed bodies of the Ashmond brothers had sparked something in Amanda far more intense and ruthless than even she could control. For the last 3 months she had been acting out her deepest, darkest fantasies with Lorenzo and Serge (BTW when Amanda was being at her naughtiest she used her alter-ego ‘Amelia’ to do all the dirty work) but, what was Edith doing in the mix now. Had Edith signed her own death warrant?.................
Meanwhile, in the ‘The Priory Church for All modern Day Sinners’ Father O’Neil was vigorously polishing his golden candlestick……….
a strange thing occurred.........what? never?
the Strawberry Hill Oracle, the local rag had already printed the obituary on the day that poor Stanley was found dead............did somebody have a premonition................
Indeed, Edith's fingers enclosed her own death warrant which she had just signed and was now waiting to hand over to PC Lorenzo who doubled as the village postman. Her life had come to a crisis point: first she failed Gok's audition, then she became entangled with supersillystring theory at the party, partly caused by the drumming which raised everything to different vibrational dimensions. This was mainly caused by Spinal Music's involvement in the drumming:she'd never done it before and was a bit puzzled that she was doing that and not telling everyone to sit up straight while they ate their potatoes. Edith felt her soul had already departed from her body, and now wanted to get it all over with.
She was a curious looking individual, was Edith. Equine in her features, with a fine set of teeth, and good flanks, she was not from Strawberry Hill, but from a neighbouring village, Ping-in-the-Meadow. However she had not been born there, but in Little C*ing-in-the-Marsh. Everyone knew that she was from Little C*ing-in-the-Marsh and not from Strawberry Hill or Ping -in-the-Meadow as she still wore the stripey knitted beret which only the true-born inhabitants of that village wore.
"'Ere, take this", she groaned at PC Lorenzo, as she placed herself between Amandia's glowing breasts and Lorenzo's taut body. "I saw thee last night, tupping that wench! Calls herself a wench, but she's a reet old slapper. I've 'ad enough! enough d'you hear? I want to apply for Non-Celebrity Get Me Out of This Life. Make sure this goes first class by the midday post!"
She trotted away.
Meanwhile back at the Church, Father O’Neil stopped mid-polishing and reread the article. “That can’t be right” he thought, “Old Stanley was only found this afternoon”.
He pondered the thought for a moment. The phone rang in his private office, he laid down his candlestick and picked up the Oracle and went to answer the phone. “Hello, Father O’Neil speaking” he said.
“Arr..Yesss….. this is ummmmm….. Peter from no:3, there is something I need to talk to you about, Father!” Peter Warrior was the youngest of the lads from no:3. He had been secretly masquerading on HP as three different members. He knew this was against the rules and needed to absolve himself of his crimes, but what he really struggled with and needed advice on was his infatuation with another HPer. Her beauty and wisdom was infinitesimal and he knew by reading all her posts that she was available. He thought about her daily and often entered threads she was involved in to chance that she may personally quote him but alas this was yet to happen. He saw a future of wonderful love with the HPer and imagined cosy evenings in front of the fire with his and hers laptops and ‘multiple’ posts for them both. Should he pm her with his intention of love or not? Now this was his question for the Father but, little did Peter know that..….……………….
this is getting just soooooo funny. :rollaugh:
this is getting just soooooo funny. :rollaugh:
Said the Vicar to the HPer. 😀
...........the woman of his dreams was actually the Reverend Father. As a person with gender identity problems, Aloysius O'Neill had naturally gravitated towards the RC Church, where he could keep his luxuriant beard and his legs shaved and nobody would bat an eyelid, as long as he kept his candlestick polished and took confession. The Reverend Father had given full expression to his female identity on HP, where he was one of the top 3 most prolific posters, and prided himself that he had never been moderated.
"Yes my son, you may enter." said the Father to Peter Warrior, while thinking "Oh it's that annoying little prick from No 3.".
In fact Father Aloysius had noticed Peter's flattering posts, and that the location given in each of the three identities was Strawberry Hill, and had allowed himself a little daydream..............he rather hoped that the poster was Lorenzo.......
With a sigh, he cast the paper aside and set to polishing his long, thick golden rod.
And thinking about his thick golden rod, that was something else that no-one knew about. He found it under the big oak tree in the Fairy Woods and it was magic.
If only they knew that really it was just a short candle stick but the magic made it grow when he handled it. With every polish, every stroke, up-down, up-down -it grew. He vaguely remembered having this effect on something when he was younger, but could never remember what it was.
If it had been Lorenzo posting him, maybe he would have been able to jog his memory...........
and yet another mystery, the post office had delivery of a postcard
which simply said
Sunny
Tremendous
Amazing
Nightlife brill
Lurving it
Everyone friendly
Yes,
Imo
Superb,
Definately an
Experience
Advisable
Dreams can come true.
and posted from another country 
something very fishy going on here
Father Aloysius O’Neil thoughts came back to the distraught Peter as he expressed his HP plight; the Father continued picking the dirt out from under his nails and gave the occasional divine nod of the head as he remembered the days when he used to roam his old diocese as ‘Alma’ in those long flowing corseted dresses and ribbon tied bonnet.
“Father, what shall I do” Peter implored.
“Oh, what, sorry…. Oh yes HP” Father O’Neil responded. “Well my son, it is a grave, grave crime you commit against our, I mean your, fellow HP members” he paused with great reverence as he looked to the heavens, just for effect of course. “It is with an understanding heart I hear your confession and so I suggest you pay penance by helping me every Friday evening after dusk, to clean my golden candlestick and help me clean my dirty pipes in the vestibule, one gets so fed up of doing this tasks by ones self.” He waited with a raised eyebrow for an answer.
“Oh Father you are so kind and giving” Peter replied with a tear in his eye. “I promise you, you will have the shiniest candlestick ever and your pipes will be dirt free from now on!” he exclaimed with pride.
Father O’Neil was very pleased and excited by Peter’s gusto to make amends, so much so, he had forgotten all out about the surprising statement about Stanley in the Oracle and as he rose to see Peter out the Oracle fell behind the old rusty iron radiator never to be seen again.
Meanwhile in the town a cloaked figure went around all the houses in Strawberry Hill reclaiming the copies of the Oracle that poked out the letterboxes. The figure counted the Oracles but two copies were missing, one in the church they knew about, but the other one….? Where could it be………………………?
While all this went on, yet more commotion in the post office. A mysterious postcard.....who could it be......then Judith Cromwell from no:1 remembered "Ohhh.. of course.. it's from our Tigress she's in India, she's trying to hook up with the Maharaja!"
ahhhh but........if we look closely at the postcard, it spells out Stanley is Dead..........and the post stamp, is it from India or could it be Italy........fishy.........red herrings:cat: did someone mention fish:cat:
………………said Edith as she trotted in and looked at the postcard.
“Oh my Edith, you are right!” Judith said giving way to Edith’s brilliance.;)
Meanwhile, back at No 5 Amanda was unaware of all of this. The baker's wife had worn out both of the sleeping policemen, and after the murder, and the digging, was wondering what to do with herself. She crawled across the sleeping men and dressed herself to her best advantage. "Old slapper indeed" she thought as caressed her curves. She felt sorry for Edith, with her braying laugh, and her funny hat, which was a badge of honour for the true-born sons and daughters of Little Crapping-in-the-Marsh. Amanda knew that Judith was not really Edith's sister, because her beret was spotty, and therefore she must have been born in the neighbouring Pissing -in-the-Meadow.
As Amanda stepped out into the fine, frosty, star-studded Saturday night, she could smell the frost in the air, and subtle undertones of fish, which added to the ambience. Amanda walked down to the gentle River Frotting, which linked the three villages. There was only one place to be on a Saturday night! The newly opened Vodka Revolution Bar!
All was quiet outside the bar, quiet enough to hear the ripple of the water in the plashy fens around, and the odd thud thud of something banging away in the water.... but Amanda soon forgot about that odd thud thud of something banging away in the water as she pushed open the heavy oak doors of Vodka Revolution. A wave of sound surrounded her and pulled her in. Around her it was party time! All the villagers and HPers were grooving to the beat. Her step-daughter, Collette, waves her over. Collette is so luminously beautiful and spiritual she is barely visible. A life long vegan, she vibrates at a higher frequency than those around her. However she is gracious enough to spend time with the more earthly mortals of Strawberry Hill. And tonight she is very gracious indeed, dressed as she is in a gauzy blouse and a very little pair of shorts and high heels. She is perched on a stool, behind a huge ice-sculpture of Stanley. She pours shots of cherry flavoured vodka into a hole at the top of the Stanleysculpture, which was made to commemorate his success in Look Good Naked and to wish him luck in his new career as a Naturist Masseur, which is of course not a pervy occupation at all. The vodka shots pour out of a small ice spout just under Stanley’s glorious icy potbelly, and queues of villagers line up to sip from Stanley’s (now sadly deceased) spout.
"Hi, step-Mum" says the almost transparent she is so spiritual and virtuous and highly vibrating Collette. "Did you get him?".
"Of course dear," purred Amanda. "Now what can I get you? They do a wicked Raspberry Mojito”
The crowd melted away as she stepped up to the bar. When she got there she could not believe her eyes.............
There at the bar was Gok Wan, yes Gok Wan! He turned and looked at Amanda. “Hello dear, nice set of bangers”, Amanda instinctively thrusts her chest up and out. Gok’s eyes widened, he tipped his head forward and lowered his glasses a tad to get a better look.
He was just about to say ‘how Mammarys like that could turn any lady-man’ when Nellie the local stable-hand cantered up and stood in between Amanda and Gok.
“Oh Gok I love you, I know there are loads of them HPers who thinks your great but they ent like me Gok, I’m a real woman with all the curves and handles that a man needs to keep 'im in the saddle” she said while standing proudly with both arms on her hips in line with her breasts.
Collette came up to her stepmother after sensing her rage. “Not here mummy dear” she whispered. She pulled Amanda away and they melted into the crowd…………
In the corner of the Vodka Revolution Edith was proudly telling all who would listen that she had decoded the mysterious postcard when no one else could, including that Cirrus who aint all that anyway. Unfortunately, nobody really took any notice of Edith. When Jack from no:6 walked over he pricked up his head and nearly choked on his vodka ‘After-burner’. That postcard wasn’t supposed to get there until next Saturday.
He knew Amanda was a loose canon but he expected more from Tigress, she was supposed to post the postcard in Italy to coincide with the Ashmond’s family trip, not bl**dy India!!! He thought that was the last time he would pay for Tigress to have a birthday holiday……..
"But dear girl, your bangers have drifted down to your hips!" said Gok, (for it was not really the sainted one, but a wicked , evil, look-a-like, who was working for Jack.)
"That don't matter, ", protested Nellie. "I do a fantastic naturist massage where I use'em to keep my clients awake. I did have a client once called Pepsi or Coke or summat who didn't like it. He said it were like being whacked by a cold fish or summat and could I keep my bra on next time. Next time he came I got out the old haddock I keep in my hand bag and gave him a couple of whacks with that! That'll learn him."
"A haddock in her hand-bag?", pondered Jack. "That explains the fishy smell."
So Jack got out the air-freshener and filled the air with a more pleasing aroma. Then he glanced at the carpet and thought he saw a bit of thread which might need cleaning up, so he brought out the hoover and threatened to have a blitz on the place ...........
Jack never went anywhere without his mini, hand held, battery operated hoover. He knew it would take more than his little sucker to ‘get rid’ of the rubbish in this village. He had laid many plans down ready for his global domination quest, but, he knew it was not only the local villagers that he needed to silence but those HP Mods too, they had the monopoly on global domination but Jack didn’t get the nickname of The Venetian Gondola for just being a man with a big stick!.........
Edith listened to Nellie’s story of womanly droopy bits and felt strangely aroused. She had never noticed before how much of herself she saw in Nellie. It wasn’t just her strong protruding teeth or Nellie’s love of sugar lumps but it was also the way she swished her hair to bat the flies away and the way she stamped her foot when she counted that stirred Edith’s juices. Edith wondered whether Nellie might give her a naturist massage.
But at that moment Moonfairy crashed in through the doors to the Vodka Revolution, everyone turned to look at the door. “Quick, everyone, anybody. The River Frotting” she propped herself against the door slowly sliding to the floor. “There’s been a………..” with that she collapsed to the floor. Everyone rushed out and down to the river.
“I’ll look after Moonfairy” Jack shouted. This was his chance and he wasn’t going to let it go by………………………
This was just the distraction Father Aloysius O'Neill had been hoping for, too. He had been silently propped up against the bar, discreetly sipping a Bloody Mary, and watching Lorenzo, now refreshed by his post coital snooze, snake his way around the dance floor. As he shifted position he stroked his soft silky beard, and was aware of the smoothness of his newly waxed chest and back against the fabric of his favorite party surplice. He drifted into a reverie, reliving the memory of his visit to the village beauticians this morning where he had had a crack,sack and back and chest wax, and he shivered. It was about time they had a new Health Farm in the village.That Granny Broon, the village waxer, had enjoyed inflicting all that pain. He knew she had, because of her deep, maniacal laugh.........there was something about her that reminded him of the mother Superior at the convent school he had attended as a small boy. A deep sadness filled his soul as he recalled the emotional pain of being rejected by the Jesuit primary school as being, in the words of the Reverend Father, the Most Reverend Bishop of Greater Frotting-on-the-Water, (now since the new dam in 1992 renamed Greater Frotting-under-the-Water), "a ****ing nancy-boy", and sent to the convent instead.
Suddenly, as he was looking at his pedicured toes in his Jesus sandals, he realised that it was too late to make his move on Lorenzo. Lorenzo had rushed out of the Vodka Revolution, along with the rest of the congregation, apart from Jack and Moonfairy, who were engaged in some kind of conflagration in the corner. What could it be? Surely not Father Aloysius O'Neill's greatest nightmare, the arrival of a Hindu Temple, floating fully built along the River Frotting, ready to be installed in the Strawberry Foothills?
But alas yes a fully floating Hindu Temple adorned with gold and flowers sat proudly bobbing on the Frotting.
Sitting astride a golden elephant was a being that the Strawberry Hillers had never seen before. This male creature had very large pointing ears and saluted everyone with a weird hand expression, he held his hand up, flat palmed, facing outwards with the first three digits together and then the last two digits separated and together making a V like shape. The villagers assumed this was this creature’s version of the English f-off hand salute and so they returned the salute in their traditional manner.
It was, as the flotilla neared they noticed that to the rear of the ‘spooky creature’ (which they later shortened to spoky-creature, then to spock-creature as they thought this was a better use of the English language, oh and out of politeness to make up for their misunderstanding of his salute they added ‘Mr’ to the front and gave him a capital 'S' and dropped the ‘creature’ bit) sat a divine creature dressed in nothing but a golden bikini with sheer veils, jewels, exotic flowers and a nose piercing to match. It later came to light that this was Mr Spock’s concubine Sun of the Nanda (which they later shortened to …………). Much unrest settled in the fens... for at least 8 minutes and then everyone remembered that some newcomer called Jason was going to do some pig-wrestling by the lower field. So they all gave there last spirited salute and filtered away.
Back in the Vodka Revolution Bar Father O’Neil on seeing the Temple floating by ran back to The Priory Church for All Modern Day Sinners and planned his holy battle and to adjust his left nipple ring, it wasn’t half chafing.
Jack and Moonfairy had departed and the conflagration took hold, but luckily enough Gran Broon who was never one to let a free drink go by had gone back into the Revolution to finish off the abandoned drinks and had noticed the flames and said out loud “How many times have I told dem Apples to do their Sabbats outside!” and so she grabbed the now quickly melting Stanleystatue and put the flames out.
Back down in the lower field……………………
well, had a dream last night. 😉
Owl came to me in a pair of huge Gok specs and told me that Stanley wished to be reborn.........with Amandas amourous nature the seed could soon be planted.
This love child would be able to speak as soon as it was born and too would be wearing Gok glasses..............and would have plenty to say..........
does that make anyone nervous??????????????
"Which was a strange confession" thought Father O'Neil as he listened to Collette.
"My child, it is not for I to instruct you in such cultish desires" he stopped and thought of his close friend Holistic and continued "My child, may I remind you that such issues are best discussed with your GP".
Collette floated up off her chair, gave a serene look and floated out. She had laid the seed in the right place and that was all she needed to do.......
So Jack got out the air-freshener and filled the air with a more pleasing aroma. Then he glanced at the carpet and thought he saw a bit of thread which might need cleaning up, so he brought out the hoover and threatened to have a blitz on the place ...........
In the lower field Edith reflected on her accounting of the mystery postcard and how no one had taken any notice of her. Her thoughts drifted on to how Jack had brandished his hoover around in a moderating type of fashion. She had until now failed to see the relevance of his actions. It was a warning to all involved not to step over his line. He had a powerful side to him and Edith feared he could stop anyone's post or fence making fun at anytime. She continued reflecting on this and decided that she should inform her friends that Jack was not to be messed with and that they should all watch their P’s and Q’s around him for the sake of the village.
She didn’t really understand where her thoughts were coming from but did wonder if it was a warning from the fairy she had seen in the moonlight that same evening. But anyhoo…. all that was too deep for Edith and so she continued chomping on her carrot while watching the wrestling………..