Karma

So responding rather than reacting.
Someone pushes me out the way because they are in an angry strop and the other person growls at me aggressively.
Do I respond by throwing the person out of the way in self defense or tell them not to do it ever again.
Likewise with the growling, aggressive person - tell them it's unacceptable.
I've noticed with people - it's okay when they do it to you but they don't tend to like it when you start picking on them and belittling them back. People are very transparent sometimes.

These are reactions, going with a sense of 'getting your own back'. Most people know, deep down, when their behaviour is unacceptable (to the community they are in). If they don't, then there's no point in any sort of hitting back. If they do, then they are more likely to respond if you say (not in front of any one else), "Are you okay? Because that reaction was a bit over the top, wasn't it? Can I help?"
Why would you want to belittle anyone, or show them up in front of their friends?

If you have many people in your life who pick on you and can't take it if you reciprocate - and if they are people with whom you cannot sit down and talk about it sensibly and with compassion - you might want to consider seeing less of them.

I am almost certain that if you worked on your own insecurities (and had a soul retrieval, of course) their behaviour would worry you less.

And don't think I'm perfect - there are times (not so many now) when I am stressed and tired and I don't behave as I would like to. So, I repeat, don't beat yourself up if you 'fail'. It's a (sometimes steep) learning curve.

A friend posted this on Facebook recently. Have a look particularly at numbers 9, 10 and 11.

I think I already do many of these. Hahaha

These are not things you have to 'do'. You just find that they are happening. If they are already things that you do, then why are you asking these questions about how to respond?

Because I think sometimes I'm a little uncertain on these matters.
I've let a few things slip over the years but as I usually just let things go maybe that was the best thing - no retaliation.
I've had bullying in all sorts of guises but I've mostly taken it over the years and igored it. That might be why there's a tiny bit of resentment in me.
I think more so it makes me feel sadness.
I've become more self-aware and spiritual as I've become older and I've noticed myself live out most of those bullet points you've listed there.

Possible to have a soul retrieval with you ?? I'm quite interested

Poppy-summer, I've sent you a private message.

One last observation to add to the conversation.
When I got angry with someone once face to face and another time via written format it made me feel more powerful to think the person was intimidated of me.
This might be the wrong thing to do but to me it felt like the person thought 'damn, this girl is scary I won't pick on her again.'
That feeling was wonderful and I'm not sure if it's because I've felt powerless quite a few times throughout my life in various situations.

One last observation to add to the conversation.
When I got angry with someone once face to face and another time via written format it made me feel more powerful to think the person was intimidated of me.
This might be the wrong thing to do but to me it felt like the person thought 'damn, this girl is scary I won't pick on her again.'
That feeling was wonderful and I'm not sure if it's because I've felt powerless quite a few times throughout my life in various situations.

From what you have said here, i.e. that you have been bullied for years and ignored it, it does sound like you have now found your voice .... perhaps coming out too strongly now though? Too much self assertion can become bullying! It's a sliding scale and there is a happy medium whereby you can stand your ground politely but firmly. If you feel you have gone from 0 to 100 and don't know how to moderate this, perhaps self assertion classes would be beneficial.

Yes I know that powerful feeling of just letting someone have both barrels...ha! (My throat chakra is overactive...who knew?) I have a tendency to come on too strong so I try and catch that before it comes out. Empowering self should not be at the expense of belittling someone else.

Yeah I think you've hit the nail on the head there about finding my voice. It does feel like that and my spiritual path has helped me as before I didn't have much self awareness.
Also, I think I had to in the end. It was make or break - I either become assertive or continue to get walked over. I still find it hard doing it face to face but via written format it is easier for me at the moment.
I think I have slightly gone down the belittling route sometimes - but when I think of what I've taken from others which is worse I just think - serves them right. I can really hurt people though I have noticed. If I have belittled anyone - generally these people have been mean to others. Probably bad attitude but I'm working on it.
I have self assertion classes written down on my to-do list anyway haha.

I had another problem once which was a slight miscommunication between me and another person. They thought I spoke over them but it was purely accidental on my part because I genuinely thought they stopped talking. This person got quite angry in my face as if I'd just committed the worst act ever. Could this have been another situation where I should have stood my ground with the person.

Even though it may be wrong to have it out with someone. That person has lashed out or said what they have said to you. At the time you didnt say anything back which leaves you feeling shortchanged. The only thing you can do is say something back or fight back anyway so if you do it later on its the same thing only you're doing it slightly later after the event has happened.
Is that such a bad thing ?
Also after the event has happened you can see things from a more clearer perspective.

I had another problem once which was a slight miscommunication between me and another person. They thought I spoke over them but it was purely accidental on my part because I genuinely thought they stopped talking. This person got quite angry in my face as if I'd just committed the worst act ever. Could this have been another situation where I should have stood my ground with the person.

This is just a case of no one is to blame - a misunderstanding. I have done it myself, i.e. thought someone had finished (they paused) and I had lots to say...then I get a black look because they had not finished and I had not realised!

A more frequent occurrence is where I am keen to say stuff so have spoken over what someone says (e.g. if they have droned on for a bit), which is rude and I would dislike it if done to me. I guess it's my way of not respecting what someone else has to say or letting them know that, maybe, they have gone on for too long. I would expect the same back.

Even though it may be wrong to have it out with someone. That person has lashed out or said what they have said to you. At the time you didnt say anything back which leaves you feeling shortchanged. The only thing you can do is say something back or fight back anyway so if you do it later on its the same thing only you're doing it slightly later after the event has happened.
Is that such a bad thing ?
Also after the event has happened you can see things from a more clearer perspective.

If someone lashed out at me, I would NEVER just let it go, i.e. say/do nothing (that's where resentment can fester). But the alternative does not necessarily have to entail fighting back (which sounds overly aggressive). Whether it is a look, or a question or even a pointed jokey remark, I would have to address it. To not do so lays yourself open to be taken for a doormat in my view.

I have never properly understood Jesus' view of offering the other cheek (although there are various interpretations). One meaning is that this action is to respond to hatred with love but, in today's society, I am not sure that is how it would be....more like, hey I have hit you once, and now you are allowing me to do so again? (Perhaps this might appeal to their conscience...not sure).

I thought that's what happened.
That's exactly the same way I feel. People do drone on sometimes or take super large gaps which was the reason I spoke in this case. I tend to be a fast talker.
Once again though - it hurt my feelings as the person really snapped at me and I found the energy quite nasty. Then when I spoke I could feel them staring at me with quite a nasty stare as if I knew they didn't like me. I could feel the energy.
I then made my tone of voice more sharp and stared them back which I noticed scared them slightly. Matching them on their own level lol

Wow after reading that I'm glad I've done what I've done then even if I have upset some people.
I find it hard to do things face to face which I've noticed is the same with other people too. It's easier for me to write things down. The only options in retaliation are verbal and saying something to the person or physical like hitting the person back.
And maybe failing that it's possible to send them energy telepathically haha not sure ...

Thanks guys for your posts. This has really cleared a lot of things up for me.
I know people that have let things go though. People have done things or said not very nice things to them and they just leave it.
Don't mean to gush Amy but your viewpoints have really, really helped me - more than you may undestand 😀

Just been reading some of the posts and I'm have trouble seeing see how karma is involved. I may be reading the post wrong but they seem more directed to material circumstances rather than the spiritual. I always understood Karma to be the opportunity for us to develop our identity in a divine sense not to solve day to day material misunderstandings.

Just been reading some of the posts and I'm have trouble seeing see how karma is involved. I may be reading the post wrong but they seem more directed to material circumstances rather than the spiritual. I always understood Karma to be the opportunity for us to develop our identity in a divine sense not to solve day to day material misunderstandings.

I don't quite follow what you mean by 'material circumstances'. You mean to specify situations/instances where karma may occur? The examples here are not material i.e. physical but involve reactions to relating to others.

I thought that's what happened.
That's exactly the same way I feel. People do drone on sometimes or take super large gaps which was the reason I spoke in this case. I tend to be a fast talker.
Once again though - it hurt my feelings as the person really snapped at me and I found the energy quite nasty. Then when I spoke I could feel them staring at me with quite a nasty stare as if I knew they didn't like me. I could feel the energy.
I then made my tone of voice more sharp and stared them back which I noticed scared them slightly. Matching them on their own level lol

And, therefore escalating the whole situation. Your dismissal as droning of those who speak more slowly is pretty agressive, don't you think? I dislike being interrupted. Why do you think what you are saying is more important than what another was saying?

Thanks guys for your posts. This has really cleared a lot of things up for me.
I know people that have let things go though. People have done things or said not very nice things to them and they just leave it.
Don't mean to gush Amy but your viewpoints have really, really helped me - more than you may undestand 😀

I think there is a great deal more you could learn about this - whether you believe in karma or not. Tit for tat is not good for our society or for our souls.

Just been reading some of the posts and I'm have trouble seeing see how karma is involved. I may be reading the post wrong but they seem more directed to material circumstances rather than the spiritual. I always understood Karma to be the opportunity for us to develop our identity in a divine sense not to solve day to day material misunderstandings.

I agree with you scommstech. Last few posts are more on materialistic issues than spiritual and have very little to do with karma.

Wow after reading that I'm glad I've done what I've done then even if I have upset some people.
I find it hard to do things face to face which I've noticed is the same with other people too. It's easier for me to write things down. The only options in retaliation are verbal and saying something to the person or physical like hitting the person back.
And maybe failing that it's possible to send them energy telepathically haha not sure ...

Are you sure there's no other way out? Someone stared at you so you stared back to intimidate, or someone belittled you so then you belittled him back somehow. Aren't you just stooping to their level? Blind hatred or detesting will only end up making you same as what you hated the most. 'I' dont like this, 'I' hate this, 'I' can't tolerate this! This 'I', 'ME' or 'MYSELF' has a lot to do with karma as well as buddhism and hinduism.

"An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind" ~ Mahatma Gandhi

If that person was complete stranger, then you can just smile and move on. That way other person might realise their mistake. If it is someone you know from a while, then isn't it better to understand why they are angry? Isn't it better to talk it out than doing the same thing as other person and worsen your relationship.

If that person was complete stranger, then you can just smile and move on.That way other person might realise their mistake. If it is someone you know from a while, then isn't it better to understand why they are angry? Isn't it better to talk it out than doing the same thing as other person and worsen your relationship.

Maybe the other person hasn't made a mistake - after all, you are not the arbiter of how someone else should be. Maybe they are not even angry - I know very few people can tell if I am angry, upset or even just pre-occupied. Thinking they are angry may have more to do with your fears than any feeling they may have.

And maybe failing that it's possible to send them energy telepathically haha not sure ...

This is getting dangerously close to cursing - and then you are in a whole different ball-game. Don't go there.

You remember those 12 points I posted? The ones you said you were already doing? Have another look at the ones about not interpreting others and not judging others.

I think you're misunderstanding my initial post.
I was contemplating whether other people's anger being lashed onto you or other circumstances you may end up in are a result of personal karma. I've suffered quite a bit of bullying and negative / belittling comments thrown at me to my face and behind my back and I wondered if it was a result of karma. Was I guilty of these acts before in a prior life so that's why I'm on the receiving end in this one.
Million dollar question 🙂
Also I would go as far as to say this is more to do with the emotional / mental side with regards to how you react to things - Not the physical.
I also appreciate that lots of people bitch at each other to their face and behind their back. I'm in no way saying I'm the only one lol
I've come to the conclusion it's because I'm sensitive so I'm just going to have to find a way to deal with it. The more you make it look like people have got under your skin the worse it is.
People leave you alone if you ignore them.

I totally agree with you I do think it puts you on the same level of the other person if you bully them back. It also doesn't solve anything & it's a waste of energy.
I do enjoy making the other person fear me though so it would put them off crossing my path or lashing their anger out on me again.
With regards to understanding the other person and why they are angry - that's a very empathic thing to do if you can be bothered to find out what their problem is rather than just ignore them and move on.
I don't have to waste my time with angry people ...

At the end of the day it's all words and actions in a moment of time. You either let it get to you or you don't let it cross your boundaries.
People on the planet obviously feel a need to pull other people down and hurt them. When I made my contract to come here not sure I was expecting this!

People on the planet obviously feel a need to pull other people down and hurt them. When I made my contract to come here not sure I was expecting this!

With whom did you make this contract?

If you enjoy making people fear you, then your soul has problems for the future - which may, indeed, be what others mean when they say 'karma'.

Look at why you feel the need to hit back - from what you say it seems to be a combination of distress at things that have happened (that you have interpreted as directed at you) and fear that more will happen. I would say that these are the main reasons that the situation arose in the first place. The others are probably reacting to life in the same way as you are.

My suggestions that you try to understand are because then you will find it easier to let the hurt slip past you. All cutting yourself off achieves is just that - disconnection (and bitterness).

Thanx Crowan yeah I agree with that. Fear will attract more of the same. I think I've realised some of my patterns now and have mostly worked through them.
I don't personally like people fearing me as I like to float about and I want people to like me - it just seems that if I did do that people might not attack me in the first place.
I've noticed in our society we do a lot of disciplining especially to younger people like parents to their children and authority figures and bosses who like people to fear them so they can keep everyone under their control.
The misunderstanding I mentioned earlier - the person could be classed as an authority figure and he gave the impression whilst first meeting that he wanted people to be intimidated by him and that he was more powerful. Or that's what it seemed like - only my interpretation so maybe I'm wrong.
when I snapped back slightly because I thought I will not be intimidated by people he looked fearful of me. Not sure if his style works on all people - maybe it does most of the time.
In some ways though I think it is good to fire things back at people, serves them right. I don't it think solves anything ultimately though. Also people don't tend to pick on others they are afraid of. Might be good to give them that feeling so they learn to back off. But that's probably a waste of energies plus too much effort.

I believe in Karma and I also believe that it follows us from one life to the next. I'm not sure if what you are experiencing has anything to do with your past lives. Have you ever considered doing a past life regression therapy. You can read about it here and see if it sounds interesting to you

Wow just stumbled across this. Yes I am aware of it and yes I have explored.
Love I think you are spot on <3
It can be traumatising though.

I would not advise past life regression. You are right, Poppy-summer, it can be very traumatic. One of the problems is that most therapists offering regression don't think anything can go wrong, and don't know what to do if it does.

After all, we forget past lives for good reasons.

If you have a problem concerning a past life, it is safer to deal with it Shamanically.

In 30 years of shamanism, I have never seen evidence of 'karma' in the true sense. Of course, many people use the word to mean something more akin to 'consequences'.