Karma

I prefer to teach those who come to me to learn how to do it for themselves. I do not consider myself all-knowing enough to raise someone else's awareness, but I am certainly capable of helping my students to do this. Assuming, of course, that they are prepared to make the effort.

It is possible to lightly comment or suggest something without feeling self to be "all knowing"

I am claircognizant, (i.e. have the ability to accurately read people), have developed intuition and have been on the personal development/spiritual path all my adult life so....I think that qualifies me for just a little interjection where it may make a difference. Nothing ventured nothing gained. 😉

I used to be like this - I used to let things go so it didn't look like I was trying to score points over others but then I realised it was like letting people steam roller over me and it started annoying me so I said things back.
But maybe it's only my perception thinking that I've let them steam roller over me. Maybe they haven't. Haha
I'm generally quite an easy going, calm person or at least try to be. I think people sometimes just get on your nerves and you reach tolerance levels. Boundaries again hahaha

I think I have claircognizant abilities. I can tell if someone is happy deep within. You can see it in the eyes and even general body movements. I've seen quite a lot jerky, stiff movements in people where they find it hard to look in your eye. Theres no fluidity. This to me denotes major insecurity.
Sorry off topic but just an idea.

I think I have claircognizant abilities. I can tell if someone is happy deep within. You can see it in the eyes and even general body movements. I've seen quite a lot jerky, stiff movements in people where they find it hard to look in your eye. Theres no fluidity. This to me denotes major insecurity.
Sorry off topic but just an idea.

Claircognizance is more than the ability to read body language. When I first meet someone, I get bombarded with info about them from the whole package - their energy, stance, expression, facial features, the eyes especially, the tone of voice....sometimes even past troubles/difficulties come through.

I used to be like this - I used to let things go so it didn't look like I was trying to score points over others but then I realised it was like letting people steam roller over me and it started annoying me so I said things back.
But maybe it's only my perception thinking that I've let them steam roller over me. Maybe they haven't. Haha
I'm generally quite an easy going, calm person or at least try to be. I think people sometimes just get on your nerves and you reach tolerance levels. Boundaries again hahaha

Yes boundaries and maybe not all one thing or the other, i.e. not totally a pushover but able to stand your ground and get your needs met when there is a danger of being taken for granted.

Wow. I think I can relate to this. I see starsigns also in the facial features. I found it creepy to start with then I got used to it. I see energies in people and pick up on them. That too I found creepy - then I got used to it. 😀

Can you explain to me what getting your needs met means ??

It is possible to lightly comment or suggest something without feeling self to be "all knowing"

I am claircognizant, (i.e. have the ability to accurately read people), have developed intuition and have been on the personal development/spiritual path all my adult life so....I think that qualifies me for just a little interjection where it may make a difference. Nothing ventured nothing gained. 😉

It's not entirely about whether you are right or not (although I've had people tell me things about me that they have intuited - almost always wrong). It's also about - do you have the right?

I think I have claircognizant abilities. I can tell if someone is happy deep within. You can see it in the eyes and even general body movements. I've seen quite a lot jerky, stiff movements in people where they find it hard to look in your eye. Theres no fluidity. This to me denotes major insecurity.
Sorry off topic but just an idea.

Maybe they simply have autism.

Can you explain to me what getting your needs met means ??

Well I didn't phrase it eloquently but I mean standing up for your rights, i.e. to be heard, respected/not abused.

It's not entirely about whether you are right or not (although I've had people tell me things about me that they have intuited - almost always wrong). It's also about - do you have the right?

Anyone can suggest something (it is not the same thing as an order). For example, "if you feel this keeps happening to you, then maybe it might be beneficial to...." Where's the harm in that? The intent is to help not to patronise.

What would constitute abuse in your opinion ??

What would constitute abuse in your opinion ??

Well there are many levels of abuse and it is somewhat subjectively assessed. What may be water off of a duck's back to one person, e.g. a man calling a female "love" could be deemed abusive for someone who is sensitive about sexism.

I guess here we are talking about verbal abuse (the obvious form being physical abuse). Name calling would be a typical example of what most people would call abuse/disrespect.

Well I didn't phrase it eloquently but I mean standing up for your rights, i.e. to be heard, respected/not abused.

I hope Poppy-summer realises that you and I are saying totally different things. Still, she clearly relates more to what you are saying than to what I am.
Don't you just love discussion?

Haha no Im very much into your thoughts Crowan. I think the discussion went on a tangent and I kind of went along with it as I was interested to hear different opinions on abuse.
I agree very much with what you say and I'm interested to hear your thoughts on different matters.
I agree with the idea that some things are water off a ducks back to some people whilst others are traumatised by it.
I'm envious of the hardnuts sometimes. I know I shouldn't be but I am 🙂

With regards to how we react to the things people say or do to us - it's better to control how we react, not necessarily fight back or get upset.
This gives us the real power !!!

Basically we just have to go around not bothered by the least little thing and hard as nails. No reaction, no emotion. It's the life situations and events that can destroy people, they never recover or at least the memory is etched on their soul forever from this life and maybe into the next. Healing is the key I guess.

Basically we just have to go around not bothered by the least little thing and hard as nails. No reaction, no emotion. It's the life situations and events that can destroy people, they never recover or at least the memory is etched on their soul forever from this life and maybe into the next. Healing is the key I guess.

Wow...that seems a little dead inside and harsh to be like that! Closing off the heart is never good in my opinion. 'Not bothered by the least little thing' is one thing but to be as 'hard as nails' makes people cold, detached. Do you want to be like that? It isn't necessary - just have some moderation, i.e. not go from one extreme to the other.

It's not situation/events that destroy us but our REACTIONS to them. Take 2 disabled people (with the same infliction) - one becomes withdrawn and bitter, the other is determined to make the most of life and may even be in the paralympics!

Yes I agree that healing is key.

It's not situation/events that destroy us but our REACTIONS to them. Take 2 disabled people (with the same infliction) - one becomes withdrawn and bitter, the other is determined to make the most of life and may even be in the paralympics!

And no one (other, possibly, than the person concerned) can say which is better.

Haha no Im very much into your thoughts Crowan. I think the discussion went on a tangent and I kind of went along with it as I was interested to hear different opinions on abuse.
I agree very much with what you say and I'm interested to hear your thoughts on different matters.
I agree with the idea that some things are water off a ducks back to some people whilst others are traumatised by it.
I'm envious of the hardnuts sometimes. I know I shouldn't be but I am

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With regards to how we react to the things people say or do to us - it's better to control how we react, not necessarily fight back or get upset.
This gives us the real power !!!

Basically we just have to go around not bothered by the least little thing and hard as nails. No reaction, no emotion. It's the life situations and events that can destroy people, they never recover or at least the memory is etched on their soul forever from this life and maybe into the next. Healing is the key I guess.

You seem to be getting more entrenched in the idea of ‘hard as nails’ as you post these three comments. It isn’t about (or at least, it isn’t for me) being hard or being unaffected. It’s about knowing what is my stuff and what is someone else’s stuff and taking responsibility only for what is mine – while viewing the other person and their stuff with compassion.

So definitely not ‘no reaction, no emotion’. As far as reaction goes, my (this reality) shamanic teacher says, ‘try to respond, rather than react.’ We can never have no emotion. Humans are emotional beings and I blame (in a non-blaming way, if you see what I mean) Star Trek for the idea that emotion is somehow uncontrolled and illogical.

And occasionally, fighting back might be exactly the best response – if someone attempt to rape you, for example. And in that situation no one would expect you not to have emotions, or to be hard as nails.

So – respond rather than react; do everything with as much compassion as you can muster; take responsibility for your own stuff and not for other people’s stuff and don’t allot blame. And don’t beat yourself up if you fall short of your expectations.

As for

It's the life situations and events that can destroy people, they never recover or at least the memory is etched on their soul forever from this life and maybe into the next. Healing is the key I guess.

Healing only helps if the healer understands and can deal with the concept of soul loss. Otherwise, yes, the damage continues through lifetimes. But many people (myself included) have healed from such situations. Shamanism is the only thing I know of that helps because it is the only practice where the practitioner actually goes and fetches the missing soul part back.

Anyone can suggest something (it is not the same thing as an order). For example, "if you feel this keeps happening to you, then maybe it might be beneficial to...." Where's the harm in that? The intent is to help not to patronise.

I do say 'Have you considered ...' But only to students and/or clients or very close friends who have given me permission (or asked me) to do so.

I like to keep my boundaries strong.

And no one (other, possibly, than the person concerned) can say which is better.

Would you say that the disabled person who becomes withdrawn and bitter thinks their life is OK/good? Being shutdown and resentful is not exactly a ringing endorsement to me. Being withdrawn but content would be different - more a lifestyle choice than being a victim of circumstance.

Regardless of judgement, there is still the reality of how that person lives their life... not exactly overcoming their handicap as in the other example I gave - of someone having the same disability going on to develop their potential.

You and I, Amy, looking from the outside, might well think a particular course of action/attitude to life is better than another. But it is not anything that we can actually know about. We never see someone's emotions from the inside (and I know that others often interpret how I feel about something in a way that is completely wrong), nor can we ever know what (if anything) another person's soul is wanting to learn.

You and I, Amy, looking from the outside, might well think a particular course of action/attitude to life is better than another. But it is not anything that we can actually know about. We never see someone's emotions from the inside (and I know that others often interpret how I feel about something in a way that is completely wrong), nor can we ever know what (if anything) another person's soul is wanting to learn.

If someone is BITTER then it shows in so many ways! It speaks for itself, loud and clear...no guess work is needed.

In a situation like this, you (and most others) are always guessing.

'A' behaves in a way that 'B' interprets as 'bitter'. 'A' isn't bitter, but this simply leads 'B' to decide that 'A' is in denial.

Of course, eventually 'A' may feel some bitterness at always having their feelings dictated by 'B'.

'Bitter' is one of those words that we throw at other people.

In a situation like this, you (and most others) are always guessing.

'A' behaves in a way that 'B' interprets as 'bitter'. 'A' isn't bitter, but this simply leads 'B' to decide that 'A' is in denial.

Of course, eventually 'A' may feel some bitterness at always having their feelings dictated by 'B'.

'Bitter' is one of those words that we throw at other people.

Yes interpretation is problematic but not if the person declares their bitterness!

Oh, certainly. If they say they are ...

So responding rather than reacting.
Someone pushes me out the way because they are in an angry strop and the other person growls at me aggressively.
Do I respond by throwing the person out of the way in self defense or tell them not to do it ever again.
Likewise with the growling, aggressive person - tell them it's unacceptable.
I've noticed with people - it's okay when they do it to you but they don't tend to like it when you start picking on them and belittling them back. People are very transparent sometimes.

So responding rather than reacting.
Someone pushes me out the way because they are in an angry strop and the other person growls at me aggressively.
Do I respond by throwing the person out of the way in self defense or tell them not to do it ever again.
Likewise with the growling, aggressive person - tell them it's unacceptable.
I've noticed with people - it's okay when they do it to you but they don't tend to like it when you start picking on them and belittling them back. People are very transparent sometimes.

Well, I can only give you my reaction to those situations. If someone pushed me out of the way because they were angry, I might call out "hey what do you think you're doing?" (pushing them back is being no better than they are). At least addressing them shows them that I am not to be messed around with. Telling them not to do it ever again is pointless and a tad patronising. They are unlikely to take that on board and people act irrationally anyway when emotional.

Not sure what the growling would consist of but, yes, I would address it in similar vein. Sometimes just a dark look can be more effective! Or showing them up - talking about it - when others are around, i.e. especially their friends!

Yes most times people are better at dishing it out rather than taking it. Taking criticism on board is a sign of maturity.