Can veggies date meat eaters

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

I think it depends on how important your vegetarian/vegan vows are to you. My own feeling is that the relationship is just so much easier when your partner eats the same way as you. When I was vegan I had a boyfriend who was a meat-eater (and to be honest, he just any any old sh*t). However because I did ALL the cooking (he couldn't cook) it was OK - as I had control over what was eaten. Plus, because I was a foodie, and he wasn't, I chose where we ate, when we ate out. So that relationship was easy food-wise.

But it was wonderful when I had my first boyfriend who was a vegan. It made me realise how much I could relax wrt food. An example of that is that if he was grabbing something for us to eat, I could always trust that he would arrive with something I could eat too. My previous bloke never really got his head around reading labels, or asking whether X had milk in it.

With regard to the girl you like... I'd go for it. If it proves to be an issue then you can always end the relationship. If it isn't then you'll have a smart girlfriend... who will possibly choose more vegetarian foods.

N

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

I don't see anything wrong with dating someone who eats meat. I think the problems set in when things get serious and you move in together. That's the time that you have to decide if you can live with a meat-eater. Some people can; however, I doubt I am one of them. I have been a vegetarian my entire life, and the thought of having someone put pieces of a dead animal in my refrigerator kind of creeps me out, to say the least. [sm=eeeK.gif] But that's me ... you have to find what is acceptable for YOU. Good luck! [sm=nature-smiley-008.gif]

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

My main concern would be kissing after dinner. I use the rather disgusting analogy of meat being like poo. So I don’t want my food cooked next to poo, or on something that has been used to cook poo and the thought of kissing someone who just ate poo..... I know that this is a rather crude analogy, but do you see what I mean? Maybe I'm being a bit to over the top. Thanks for the replies.

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

Hm. Interesting analogy. I could understand that kissing someone who'd just eaten faeces would be something you wouldn't want to do. Is meat really as bad as faeces? I suppose it depends on your reason for giving up meat - I mean it isn't as healthy for you as fresh vegetables but it isn't as bad as faeces.

There is also the issue of going back to her family for a dinner. If they're meat eaters ("We've always eaten meat and that's how it is.") they might say things behind your back like, "You're not bringing that silly vegetarian with you are you, dear?".

I personally would love to go out with a well-informed veggie* gf because it would encourage me to be more veggie (I'm mostly, but won't make a fuss).

-Darren

PS Don't mean to start any arguements - just presenting both sides of the issue.

*- as opposed to someone who just eats the usual non-meat food and has dropped an entire food group (and inadvertantly dropped an entire group of nutrients) out of her diet in the mis-belief that she is now eating a healthier diet!

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

I am a vegan & my partner is veggie but eatsonly vegan inour house.
When we first met he ate meat. That was 14 yrs ago! after a few dates I realised I could not kiss him with 'meat in his mouth' so he changed his diet for me. If I was meeting someone now they would have to be veggie or vegan because there are so many connections and things in common, which make life easier. However if this girl has things in common with you perhaps she would be happy to try a veggie lifestyle through time. Good luck!!!XXX

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

My partners sister used to make me laugh, she is veggie and would date ,eat eaters. She would refuse to kiss them for a certain amount if hours after they had eaten meat.

I am vegan and could not kiss someone who had been eating corpse but I guess it's a metter of personal preference.

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

Wow very interesting replies. Made me think.
I'm currently dating another vegetarian, have been for 3 months now. She's been brought up as a vegetarian all her life. I never actually thought about the whole kissing a meat eater part, but come to think of it, it is actually quite disgusting. Dating a vegetarian or vegan is alot easier and better, I find I have more in common with her and if we ever go to grab something to eat, I know she'll always check the ingrediants aswell. Helpful :).

But in the end it is always your choice, you control your own life so it's up to you.

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

I keep passing this post, but everytime I see it I think "Course they can!" so I have decided to answer it.

I am a Vegan, have been so for the last 2 and halfyears and a Vegetarian before that for 10 years. I am married to a meat eater and have been for the last 26 years and he is the love of my life and my soul mate. Just because he eats meat doesn't make him a bad person as all you meat eaters out there know. I still kiss him and he doesn't taste like an abbatoir. It was my decision to stop eating animal products and mine alone. If all you vegetarians and vegans out there only look around for the perfect partner as long as they don't touch animal products you may just be missing out on your perfect partner.

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

Hi Antari,

I keep passing this post, but everytime I see it I think "Course they can!" so I have decided to answer it.

You and me both, then!

My personal thoughts on this, was that it's very worrying that people are so extremist. I understand why people choose to eat a vegan diet, and indeed, I'min support of some of those reasons, but refusing to kiss someone who has eaten meat?? As long as you are not kissing the person while they are eating meat (which would be pretty disgusting whatever the foodstuff, let's face it!) I don't see why it should make a difference. I'm guessing that not kissing a partner because they've eaten meat is the exactly the sort of stance someone would take if they were a "meat is weird" type of vegetarian. I'm afraid I tend tohave little patience for that kind of thing, and think that opinion tends to arise with people who are disconnected from nature. I don't mean this to sound really harsh, but you try living in an undeveloped country where food is avaliable, but very limited. I somehow don't think you're going to be able to go down to the shops to buy yourpackets of silken tofu or shelled hempseeds. We've all got to be realistic about the reasons we do things and put a bit more thought into the cjhoices we make- IMO "meat is weird" is just not good enough.

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

Never heard of the "meat is weird philosophy" before. Heard of the "meat is horrible" and "meat is murder" but never weird.

If people do have a problem kissing someone who has eaten meat, perhaps they would be better off with a partner who doesn't.

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

Hi Darrenfollowsthepath,
Is there a meaning to your HP name?
Follows the path of what?
Sorry,just curious as I practice Kriya yoga and we call that "being on the path"..
anyway,I do agree (about the veggie thing) that it doesnt really matter if you like the person enough..Although I'm a veggie n it did cause problems with a previous relationship especially when he wanted to cook bacon!!!!!
Babaji

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

I've been married to a meat eater for 35 years and our greatest argument? Garlic!!!! I love it, he loathes it.
There really is more to a relationship than meal times, and being veggie/vegan doesn't make people more humane and carnivores less so, my dogs are also carnivores, and remember Hitler was a veggie, and not a caring person.

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

Hi.

I am also vegetarian.

I wouldn'tlet the chance to be withmy soulmate pass awayjust because they eat meat.I would prefer that they were vegetaian though, and at the very least would have to have an awareness of the environment, and respect my choices. But I think it works both ways.

It is very much a personal choice though, and you have to do what is right for you.

Hails xx 😀

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

for me i find that it is an issue.

i have never had a veggie partner although my partner now doesnt eat meat around me and i dont have it in the house.

the way i see it is these are my most treasured values in life. i see eating meat/fish and to an extent large amounts of dairy as wrong. i know alot of veggies/vegans wont agree with my point of view but that is how i see it. therefore the person who i share my life with should have the same basic values as me. my relationship has been over for some time although we still live together as friends. i have to say that i would love to meet a veggie/vegan bloke.

to me it is much more than just the kissing - although saying that i totally understand it - yuck! [:'(]

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

Oh lovely thread, we have a huge mixture of meat eaters and veggies and a couple of vegans in the family so Christmas is interesting[8D]

But you love who you love surely despite what they eat?

Jo

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

To me, its not really an issue of being grossed out by it...

Its like... I just quit a job because we served too much junky food particularly with meat and dairy. For some reason gum particularly offends my sensibility. Its not gross, I just think its unwholesome. I can more or less tolerate organic free range products and will sometimes even eat a small amount if its a communal meal to encourage others to eat good wholesome organics.

That being said, I have been hanging out with a very beautiful girl who delivers cheap pizza and eats meat all the time. She doesnt overeat, persay and she isnt unhealthy... Its just... This is a conflict of interrests with my own.At the same time though, I ate meat for many years as have most people and all of humanity (for milleniums). And everything else about this girl feels just right.

I guess what I am getting at is... eating veggie is making me feel alienated from society as a large in some way. And I love being vegan, as stated above, these are some of my highest held values. Watching loved ones violate them causes me great internal conflict and makes me want to eat a burger just to get along with everyone easier. Its like all I see is everyone I know killing animals constantly, often just for enjoyment.

I think the reason that it bites particularly bad to see a lover do that is because you are supposed to feel nothing but good things for your partner. I know it might sound wierd, but this is making me not want to be a vege-head anymore because I want to be able to love, completely and fully. And frankly, I have yet to meet a vegan girl. 🙁

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

I think if people who are veggie/vegan only dated veggies/vegans, you are closing yourself off to a whole section of society.
Where do you draw the line? Would you say, ok, I will have no meat eating friends, my kids will only have veggie pals?
Would your cats and dogs be veggie as well. This isnt a flippant comment but I think basically we cant generalise and say that people who are veggie are more caring than people who arent.
There are more to people than the food they choose to put or not to put in their mouths.
I didnt eat meat for over 15 years, I had a relationship with a veggie, he was my first bf and he made me totally miserable.
I would much rather have been with a meat eater that was kind than a horrible human being who happened not to eat meat.

Pauline

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

No tongues for you then zeebop (no offence intended)! This is a wonderful and thought provoking thread. I am with Pauline on needing some diversity in your life and not selecting loved ones based on what they eat. I know couples where one person is vegetarian and one eats meat, others where the partners are of different faiths, and others where they vote for different political parties. But they still love each other dearly. That person is that way because life has formed them, and you fall in love with the package. It sounds as though you are very attracted by this woman and it would be a great pity if this one factor got in the way. I am not trivialising how important it is to you. But you can look at ways to compromise. Good luck to you.

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

Well, just a little update. Im now seeing this girl. I also asked her not to be offended if i wouldnt go near her after she had eaten meat. She sometimes brings over some dinner for us to eat and its always veggie and I of course always cook veggie meals for us. So far so good.

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

Ah fuck it, I'm just gonna go eat some meat. I cant deal with this internal conflict and no ideology is worth it.

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

I am happy for you, zebop. Best wishes to you both.

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

Hi zeebop,

I'm a meat eater, and my man is a veggie. No conflict between us. We have too many other things to think about at the moment, such as planning our next meeting!

Love,
Patsy.
xxxxx

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

Veggies can date non-veggies. There aren't any rules or laws to hinder it.

It seems like a very individual thing. What you are looking for in a partner... what you are looking for in yourself... what you are looking for ina friend (assuming your partner will also be a friend)...

for me, when i think of meat, i think of it as what it is. It is from an animal who was killed, without need, and cut into smaller pieces, and then cooked. Raw meet has blood juices, and cooked meat often has cooked blood juices. So the idea of having that touch my mouth or be inside my mouth, is something I feel to avoid.

Of course spiritual love and physical love can have differences. For me, personally, I feel the best, and am the best, by being around close others who support me to explore whatever I feel is the best or most important. and who can give me encouragement during the times i feel defeated. and who will help me see correct information, whenever I am believing incorrect information. And i'd only feel best if those are what I wanted to give to others as well

Jon

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

WOW! I had not read this thread for a while and I am amazed and saddened at the incredible ignorance around. Veganism is not simply about food, it is a lifestyle, a faith, a committment.
There is no limitation in life by choosing only partners that do not eat meat it creates a greater bond. I have a few meat eating friends who do not regard animals as sentient beings. In their company I feelfrusted at their lack of knowledgebut I also feel very strong and empowered because i have taken action against the appauling mistreatment of other living species. My partner was a meat eater in the beginning but it would never have lasted if he had not chosen to give up meat, if he cared so little for animals I could not really love him! I really would have thought that the spiritual and alternative personalities on this forum would understand that humans have no automatic right to trap, torture, eat, and abuse animals for human gain. At one timethe white man felt superior to the black man and women were treated as property these actions were through ignorance!! It is vital we are not ignorant of the facts when discussing veganism as it must not be trivialised into just being about food and personal choice. It is not a personal choice to contribute to acts of cruelty. Hope I do not sound too angry, it is more a mood of sadness! Anyway vegans are better kissers!!!!!

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

Well, I am 53 and you are?

As mentioned, I met my husband many years before I became vegan and he is my soul mate and my best friend.

Yes, I agree being Vegan is more than the food that we eat, but there is a lot more to living than that.

I hope that you find happiness with a commited Vegan, but being an Omnivore doesn't mean they are monsters too.

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

i've been following this thread with interest and i personally feel that it should be free will, rather than be coerced into giving up meat in order to become " accepted" by a partner. to me, if its known from the word go from the vegetarian/vegan that the other person eats meat, by all means voice your beliefs but don't force the issue or make them feel guilty just because *GASP* they choose to a lifestyle different to your own![&:]

i liken this issue to one person saying to another- " well i'll go out with you but i don't like your dress sense so until you do something about it, i won't be seen dead with you!" how this make the other person on the receiving end feel? pretty inadequate i guess that they aren't * good * enough .

now i don't eat meat but that's MY choice and i wouldn't dream of trying to impose it on others or overlook a potential partner just because of they dare to have the nerve to consume meat! if people feel that strongly about "veggies/vegans need only apply", then look in these specific areas instead of making a big issue of somebody who eats meat...shheesshh!:eek:

warm wishes- calla lily x

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

I am 44 so I have lots of life experience. I am glad that you have a soul mate it is a very special thing. I am not trying to judge omnivores but often they are misinformed, blinkered or do not have compassion for animals and lack knowledge about environmental damage and poverty worldwide due to the meat industry. If they understood the life of a calf raised for veal surely they would object if they were compassionate?
I agree with free choice, free spirit, individualism and I would never coerce a person to follow my lead. However, free choice comes with responsibility. Hedonistic attitudes can be selfish. If a robber, rapist or terrorist were to express their free will it would be a criminal act to us. But to them they believe it is their free will and right. Animals are the most neglected part of society they have no free will because we have taken it away. There are European fights to protect animals but there is a long struggle ahead (as indeed with many human rights)
My partner and I have been together 13years he chose to give up meat right at the start, (trigged by a food poisoning after a mixed grill!) I did not demand it!!
Show compassion....TippiXXX

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

Hi Tippi

I actually find your post quite offensive. i'm not blinkered , misinformed or lack compassion. i eat meat because it is my choice and if no one ate meat , what would they do with all the wild cows - surely thay would have to be culled eventually?

I love animals and have a house full of them. Just because i'm not vegetarian, doesn't mean i don't care about animals.
Whitedragon

RE: Can veggies date meat eaters

I am sorry if I have offended you. I am caring and compassionate about all things and do not intend to offend. However, if a few words can cause offence imagine how and an animal feels in captivity, in isolation, in neglect and intensively bred! I find those actions offensive. I obviously can't explain the theory of choice very well. Yes, you have choices thats is fine but what if your choices are hurting other sentient beings? Do you believe that animals have no choice in life?
You have a housefull of animals, in other countries pets (dogs e.g.) are bred and eaten. They say it is their choice, do you agree? Remember that cattle, sheep, pigs and chickens are all intensively bred for you to eat. If people stop eating meat the breeding would reduce and we would never have 'wild cows' roaming the land! You also state that you are informed. So I assume you know all the methods and horrors in place to bring meat to your table. I only want people to care, to open up their minds, and understand that 'choice' is not about selfishness and dominance over other species. With repect, TippiXx