what is forgiveness?

RE: what is forgiveness?

Thanks, Giles. You are a sweetie! X!

Love,
Patsy.
😀

RE: what is forgiveness?

Forgiveness.....

Amnesty..
Clemency..
Grace..
Mercy..
Pardon..
Absolution..
Indulgence..
Remission..
Vindication..
Immunity..
Reprieve..
Charity..
Compassion..
Leniency..
Benevolence..
Forbearance..
Kindness..
Sympathy..

What is forgiveness when it means so much?

RE: what is forgiveness?

Guys

With me, from time-to-time, an old 'problem' rears its ugly head. I've read this thread because I truly believe that, if I can learn to forgive this particular person, then I can move on but no matter how I've taken in your wise words, I CANNOT bring myself to forgive .... I think I'm carrying too much hate! (such a strong word).

How can I overcome such strong feelings and move on to forgive?[&:]

Wendy

PS Sorry if this is garbled but I'm feel pretty low at the moment

To Mods. If you feel this is in the wrong place then feel free to move it. Don't want to kill the discussion:)

RE: what is forgiveness?

Wendy, have you tried tapping? It's a shame it's making you feel like this : you will feel lighter if you could let it go out of your body.

Lots of love, Sharonxx

RE: what is forgiveness?

Wendy - having gone through this thread as well, I would firstly say that I believe that forgiveness is a choice we can make - or not; however anger and resentment (congealed anger) actually do more harm to ourselves than the object - which is a good reason for letting it go.

Forgiveness can be done entirely out of physical contact with the person concerned - because the 'ties that bind' are energetic and cover any distance. over and over on workshops and in my surgery I have seen people wrestle with finding forgiveness - and when the shift occurs, the person at the other end of the attachment is released, and will change - it seems miraculous at times.

Think of this concept - our enemies are our greatest teachers. I remember years ago attending a Past Lives workshop with Denise Linn, and she told the tale of Fred, sitting up on cloud 9, and planning his next incarnation. He has a lesson he wants to learn, and he needs a good perpetrator to come down and be in his life, so he can 'get it'. As familiar souls pass by, he asks for their cooperation, but is repeatedly turned down ( "no way, mate, too much bad karma in that one" [&:] ). eventually it is the soul who loves him the most who gently smiles 🙂 and agrees to be there with him, and to be the one who is cast in the role of 'bad guy'.

Whilst there is an energetic charge attached to the events being held onto, then true forgiveness has not occurred....but one does have the choice to free oneself when ready. personal development work is just one way to work on these issues, which provides a safe space to explore within and release oneself from these attachments.

with love, light and learning - Doq xx

RE: what is forgiveness?

When you walk in the space
When you smile at a child and get a big grin back
When you tell some one have an awesome day and they get you meant it
When you hear of a murder and send energy equally to the murder and the victim
When you can see the healing in every argument and the releasing of built up energy
When the joy of seeing the waves flow on the beach and the beauty of an awesome planet
When you see some one walk through a fear that has held them back all there life
you cant hold back the tears of joy of all that is the earth plain
you know why you love coming back here

in that space there is nothing to forgive for the past is in the past and the future dose not exist love you all for what you
in all that you don’t forgive love all you be and others be
love the awesomeness that is you in all you be
in all that is not forgiven love you first for when you forgive your self all is forgiven

RE: what is forgiveness?

Hi Wendy,

We never have to love (or forgive) a sinning, hurtful mortal. We simply have to love the image and likeness of God (or Goodness itself) which is the real identity of everyone. That love is not something we have to struggle to do either, as all love is simply the way we reflect divine Love (God) - like the moon shines through reflection, not by any power of its own.

We simply have to separate the evil from the person, as is described in this link I posted earlier on this thread:

How do I begin to forgive

Can you get past someone's thoughtless, destructive, or even abusive behavior and start forgiving? One way is to see the unkindness as separate from who that person really is.

And though this article is not actually about forgiveness, (although it did enable the author to love herself) it has everything to do with the astounding effects of right identification, as seeing others in their true spiritual light:

I was healed of Alcoholism

I hope these help you find the peace and healing you and the other party both need so much.

Love and peace,

Judy

RE: what is forgiveness?

Guys

Oh wow, thank you for your replies. I'm going to look into them - I need some time[X(].

[sm=hug.gif]

RE: what is forgiveness?

I define forgiveness as letting go of negative emotions that we associate with a person, event / experience. True forgiveness is at times extremely hard for some people. The fact of the matter is that true forgiveness is very powerful, liberating and healthy.

Forgiveness is a state of mind. Saying the words is nothing without genuinely letting go of all negative associations to the phenomena (i.e. the event, experience , persons involved)

Forgivness becomes extremely easy when we recognise and accept the benefit in doing so for ourselves, our happiness, peace and well being.

Bitterness, resentment, hatred, anger are all destructive to ourselves and our lives. We carry these everywhere we go, they influence our decisions, relationships and life in general.

By forgiving we are healing and moving forward in a positive way.

People can carry negative emotions with them for years even a life time that are related to one single event. They cause themselves misery and suffering often long after the person responsible has long since forgotten, moved on or completely left that persons life.

Why do this to ourselves?

Forgive and forget. If you dwell on the past how will you ever move forward?

RE: what is forgiveness?

What is forgiveness.... forgiveness, to me, is the act of letting yourself off the hook...
What I mean is - unless you forgive someone the wrong they have done you, you will be hooked into them for life - the anger, hurt, etc. that you feel will never go away and, as my darlin' hubby always says, when you point the finger at someone, you've got 3 fingers pointing back.
TEMA;)

RE: what is forgiveness?

I think forgiveness isn't just saying it but knowing in your heart that you forgive someone which is the hardest thing to do when someone hurts you but the greatest test of all is if you can forgive them. Forgiveness though isn't just about saying it's ok it's also about healing your heart and someone elses.
I think forgiveness isn't just a thing its also a remedy to many of lifes questions and pains. And often in sayingI forgive you and meaning itwe learn a well earned lesson either of what the person did or how hard it was to forgive. Although sometimes people shouldn't be forgiven out loud like people who make the same mistake over and over again. we can maybe forgive them in our hearts but we should not tell them because it may make them think that it's ok to hurt someone.
blessed be
lozz

RE: what is forgiveness?

To me, forgiveness is about allowing the past misgiving to leave our system. It's a choice that we make for ourselves, really. It comes when we no longer want to be bound by the emotions of anger, bitterness, sadness, melancholy, and whatever emotion that has come from such a situation. It doesn't have to be the type of forgiveness where one goes up to the person and say, "Hey, I forgive you." as you can commit the act yourself for yourself. I believe that forgiveness is more for yourself rather than for the other person. After all, you can still tell the person that it's "okay" and still harbour ill feelings.

I had a discussion with my father a few weeks ago, and he told me that he watched something on the TV that touched on the concept of forgiveness. Forgiveness, when the world is dissected, is "for" and "give". The "for" can be taken from the word 'before' and 'give' is pretty much explanatory. Thus, it is said that "forgive" is to give before anything else. There is no condition, there is no "I won't say anything unless s/he comes to her/his knees and begs for mercy." You just do and at the end of it all, regardless of what happens to the other party (not saying that you don't have to care, it's just that no matter what happens) you end up being liberated from it.

To be honest, I am still working on this. I have to learn it over and over again.

RE: what is forgiveness?

Some deep and thoughtful words before me have been written. I am not sure I can better any of them, except to say that forgiveness to me simply means that as much as you forgive someone else for the wrongs they may do to you, you must also learn to forgive yourself. For it is ourselves we are often the hardest on [:-]

Dino

RE: what is forgiveness?

In my mind, forgiveness does not necessarily include forgetting. I think a lot of people make the mistake of thinking they are one in the same, and as a result, they refuse to forgive because they think it means forgetting about or condoning what was done to them. But they are not the same at all.

Forgiveness releases us from people and situations. It's an acknowledgment, an acceptance of another's limitations, but it should not be confused with approval of bad behavior. For instance, I can forgive someone for hurting me because I can recognize how limited they are at this point in their life and how those limits might cause them to hurt me. But that does not mean I should forget what they have done to me, because the fact is, they may not have changed and might hurt me again.

We all have our fears and limits in life and areas where we're not operating at our utmost, and sometimes those limits can cause harm to other people. Mistakes happen in life, and there's not much we can do about it, other than recognize it, apologize, and vow to do better.

Thankfully, we are not our behavior. Our behavior is merely a prop we are working with in life in order to better understand ourselves and the world around us. Hopefully, when we can view ourselves and our own behavior with compassion, we can then extend that same compassion to others for their mistakes in life.

Again, that does not mean putting up with or refusing to see that a person hasn't changed. It merely means that you see them for who they are, and you forgive them for whatever limitations they may have at this point in their life.

I remember the Dalai Lama saying that the Tibetans pray for China as well as themselves, because they understand the ramifications of the karma the Chinese government has created for itself in persecuting the Tibetan people. That's a very forgiving and compassionate viewpoint. Of course, the Dalai Lama and others remain in exile and are not ignorant to the fact that the Chinese government is still dangerous for them to be around. So in other words, they have forgiven but not forgotten.

Also, many years ago I learned a wonderful set of affirmations on forgiveness:

I forgive myself for hurting others.
I forgive others for hurting me.
I forgive myself for letting others hurt me.
I forgive others for letting me hurt them.

I found that so wonderful because it seems to cover all the bases. After all, no one has power over us unless we give it to them at some level. The trouble is when we give others power over us through our subconscious fears and aren't aware of it. And instead of using the situation as an opportunity to examine ourselves and our fears more fully, we tend to blame those who hurt us for showing us our fears.

It doesn't matter that we understand in order to forgive. I used to think that was necessary, but I later learned that it really doesn't matter which comes first. If understanding comes first, that's great. But if it does not, forgive anyway, and understanding will come as a result of your forgiveness.

I read this not too long ago and thought I'd post it here because it seemed applicable to this thread ...

Is there someone in your life that you hold in judgment, resentment, hatred, or lack of forgiveness? If so, think of that person and feel what happens in your heart. What happens in your breath?

Take a moment to review what you may have learned from the experience this person may have caused. See what the experience tried to call forth in you. Did it force you to open new channels in your life, find a deeper relationship with yourself, or teach you the importance of setting boundaries? Can you imagine that the person who betrayed you was a messenger who brought this valuable teaching to you? Can you look for the teaching as a way of making "medicine" out of your experience?

As long as you hold the people responsible for your injury in resentment, you will remain connected to the experience (and its suffering) and neither of you can mo

RE: what is forgiveness?

Hi everyone, at first, I felt like Dino in that there were so many wonderful posts here that I couldn’t possibly add to them (and thank you Dino for reminding everyone of the need to forgive ourselves – that’s probably the hardest thing of all!)

The recent posts I most agreed with were whyhellomaria’s and Satori’s. Forgiving isn’t the same as forgetting and neither does it let the other person “off the hook” (it actually frees them to repent and reform). When we mentally hold someone else in a particular condition, we are locking him or her into that condition. It’s when we can separate the evil from the person that we then free ourselves from the debilitating (and often illness-causing) pain and free the “villain” to become the person we would like him or her to be. In helping the other person restore their sense of who they really are, you are recognising their inherent spiritual worth and at the same time, recognising your own.

I know that forgiveness is an important ingredient in healing (physical as well as emotional) so that proves it’s really something we do for ourselves, not for the other. It’s really none of our business whether they “deserve” forgiveness or not – we do and that’s what’s important!

In a book by Catherine Marshall called Something More, she has a wonderful chapter called: ”Forgiveness: The Aughts and the Anys” and I just found it so helpful. This is from where she was having a chat with her vicar:

Quote: David put down his cup of coffee. "Weren't you and Len telling me that you're troubled by some unanswered prayers? Well, in my life I've found this forgiveness business a key to getting prayers answered. A couple of years ago I was going through one of those prayers-not-geting-beyond-the-ceiling periods and I prayed, "Lord, I don't have enough faith. Give me the gift of faith."

"It isn't your faith," the reply came, I can see faith even if it's as small as a mustard seed. No, it's something else ...’When you stand praying - forgive if ye have aught against any.’ (Mark 11:25) That's your trouble. That's why your prayers aren't answered. You go about with a lot of aughts against a lot of anys." End of quote

Catherine Marshall then tells us how she went back through her life, releasing everyone from her baby brother who had broken her dolls; the doctor who had put a cigarette in her husband's mouth to "calm his nerves" (he died of lung cancer years later after that cigarette had caused his addiction); to everyone who had ever hurt, outraged, annoyed or irritated her. It came to her that she even had to release Henry VIII and other historical figures, living or long gone, for the savagery they had inflicted on innocent people. She wrote all their names down on a piece of paper, prayer for them, then burnt the paper and it turned her life around.

I posted the wonderful story of Wild Bill Cody from a book called "Return from tomorrow" by Ritchie on page 2 of this thread, but it’s worth reading again!

Let me share with you the most lovely example of responding rather than reacting to persecution. Wild Bill Cody was the name of a Jewish, Polish man in a concentration camp. Many thought when he met him he obviously hadn¹t been there long because his posture was erect, his eyes bright, his energy indefatigable. Since he was fluent in 5 languages he became a kind of unofficial camp translator. Everyone went to him with all sorts of problems; .... though Wild Bill worked fifteen and sixteen hours a day, he showed no signs of weariness. While the rest were drooping with fatigue, he seemed to gain strength. ... His compassion for his fellow-prisoners and his joy glowed on his face.

Then it came to light that Wild Bill had been in the camp for six years; he had lived on the same starvation diet, slept in the same airless and disease-ridden barracks as everyone else, but without the least physical or mental deterioration.

Perhaps even more amazing, every group in the camp looked on him as a friend. He was the one to whom

RE: what is forgiveness?

i think forgiveness is not easy to do but i also believe that forgiveness has to be given in order for us to move on and also to help us understand others for what or who they are
i always got brought up with this saying

it is easy to forgive but not easy to forget and i use this when ever i feel forgiveness is needed

hope this has helped in some way tc from rowxx

RE: what is forgiveness?

Ithink forgiveness has very little to do with the other person and has everything to do with ourselves... we are each in control of our own feelings; how we react or feel about something is totally our choice.

Live in the moment; if the suffering is happening in the moment - is it in our own minds - if so, it is our choice and thus we can stop it. Whatever happened is in the past. What's to forgive and to forget - it's not happening now...that's so liberating. We have choice...

😀

RE: what is forgiveness?

Love

RE: what is forgiveness?

this is a fascinating topic, thanks to everyone for such incredible insights.

I had to forgive because if l chose no to forgive it would have held me back. In the work of reaching a really deep level of forgiveness, l found out so many special lessons. First l discovered that the hurt a person feels very, very deeply is rooted in their early life. Every significant betrayal, every major pain you feel triggers something else at a deep level. If you can take the time and be courageous enough to look beyond the event and explore how you felt and why, then you have found a deeper wound that needs attention.

Unless you take the time and energy to really understand how the actions of another have hurt you, you cannot truly forgive.

The underlying truth is that we are all 100% responsible for our own actions. In this way we have contributed significantly to the events that lead to the actions that hurt us. There is absolutely no one else on earth that is responsible. even if another person is a tyrant, you still chose your reactions, regardless of the circumstances. This is a tough thing to accept but there is no way to deny it, even if your situation offered no choice but to give in, you made the choice to give in, even if it is justified or not justifed. you still made the choice.

once you can take responsibility for your own actions, it is easier to see what you did to contribute to the situation. My experience was completely shattering, and after a few years passed i was able to see that at some level the anger that was leveled at me was triggered by the person feeling several things. one was a deep pain of loss, and the second was a deep pain of the fear of loosing even more ...they felt threatened.

In order to protect these fears they attacked. By pulling the situation apart and taking 100% responsibility for my actions, l was able to understand. And i forgave myself for getting into the situation, and for the characteristics that added negatively to the events.

It is through this understanding that we are able to grow and learn.

Seeking the way to truly forgiveis a way of enlightenment. It can bring you freedom and a deeper understanding of our human flaws and goodness.

I found that the forgiveness changed me as a person and gave me a deeper richer understanding of life. If you have anyone in your life that has hurt you, you mightwant to see this asa life lesson and a important journey toforgiving yourself.

--northstar

RE: what is forgiveness?

ORIGINAL: northstar

First l discovered that the hurt a person feels very, very deeply is rooted in their early life. Every significant betrayal, every major pain you feel triggers something else at a deep level. If you can take the time and be courageous enough to look beyond the event and explore how you felt and why, then you have found a deeper wound that needs attention.

Most of the time this is true, but not always. Sometimes the hurt is brand new and is not rooted in any past memory or experience.

Unless you take the time and energy to really understand how the actions of another have hurt you, you cannot truly forgive.

I don't agree with this. As I've said before, "It doesn't matter that we understand in order to forgive. I used to think that was necessary, but I later learned that it really doesn't matter which comes first. If understanding comes first, that's great. But if it does not, forgive anyway, and understanding will come as a result of your forgiveness."

The underlying truth is that we are all 100% responsible for our own actions. In this way we have contributed significantly to the events that lead to the actions that hurt us. There is absolutely no one else on earth that is responsible. even if another person is a tyrant, you still chose your reactions, regardless of the circumstances. This is a tough thing to accept but there is no way to deny it, even if your situation offered no choice but to give in, you made the choice to give in, even if it is justified or not justified. you still made the choice.

once you can take responsibility for your own actions, it is easier to see what you did to contribute to the situation. My experience was completely shattering, and after a few years passed i was able to see that at some level the anger that was leveled at me was triggered by the person feeling several things. one was a deep pain of loss, and the second was a deep pain of the fear of loosing even more ...they felt threatened.

In order to protect these fears they attacked. By pulling the situation apart and taking 100% responsibility for my actions, l was able to understand. And i forgave myself for getting into the situation, and for the characteristics that added negatively to the events.

Yes, although I would say each person is responsible for their 50%, as opposed to blaming either themselves or the other person by appointing 100% responsibility. I *think* that's what you were getting at, however.

Sometimes it's a matter of seeing that we have deceived ourselves about the other person, and that is our 50% responsibility -- to see them and their abuse very clearly so we can make better choices in the future. We can certainly forgive them for their limitations and resulting abuse, but we do not have to allow them to be a part of our lives as long as they continue to be so limited and abusive. Once we have recognized what they are about and where they are at in their lives, we can then choose to avoid them. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. It merely means we forgive them their flaws, but do not forget that they have not gotten help and have not changed and, therefore, can continue to do us harm (assuming that's the case).

I found that the forgiveness changed me as a person and gave me a deeper richer understanding of life. If you have anyone in your life that has hurt you, you might want to see this as a life lesson and a important journey to forgiving yourself.

I absolutely agree with this. It's something I learned decades ago and has proved true ever since. It's important to forgive the other person their flaws, and to also forgive yourself for not knowing what they were about in the first place, so you can make better choices in the future.

RE: what is forgiveness?

Thanks for your comments Satori, l always appreciate it when someone is looking for clarity. I think we're basically on the same page, and l think once l explain what l mean you'll understand what l'm getting at. Of course a difference of opinion is always the spice of life!!!

The comments l made about hurt were about those times that are not easily fluffed off.

In the context of this forum, the forgivenness being discussed was of deeper nature rather then day to day slights that we have all dealt with since infancy. But even the ''surface' slights if you are feeling them at all have significance to you because you have noticed them. If they are bothering you and you believe it just to be about the situation, l urge you to look again. It is about honoring your feelings, and giving yourself time to understand why you are remembering it.

for example, you are in a grocery store and someone hits your cart and doesn't say sorry.
Just a surface brand new situation, right? What would you do, just think it is rude and carry on? then you don't need to forgive because you have made a choice that this is not hurting you.

However if it bothers you,you will not forget it because at some level of consciousness you have made a choice to let it bother you.You might make a variety of choices -to say something, to bang their cart, or you may just decide to forgive and go home.

If it is something that has effected you even on the surface, thenit will be difficult to put it away if you have made the choice to let it bother you. The choice to do this or to shrug it off is often a learned action of childhood. The more you try to put it out of your mind the more you will think of it. it is like having a bright flower on your windowsill and you tell yourself not to look at it...you will. So now with that example, i hope that i have explained what l meant by forgiveness being about a hurt from childhood. It is about the journey to understand why it bothers us and why we form these reactions. [and this is just my contribution of my opinion]

I agree that we don't need to understand in order to forgive. We don't need to understand the event or the other person, althought to reach explanations certainly help.In my opinion, this isn't truly forgiving someone, it is saying you are forgiving someone, it is acting like you are, but if the blame remains it is likethat flower on your windowsill, except instead of being pretty it is inside held in pain.

If we take the time to understand how we are effected, to look at the way we are feeling, and when we last felt that way, and taking the time to honour ourselves in this way, it is a way to heal at a deep level.

Often in our lives we experience the same events but with different people and different circumstances, and we try to forgive and move on. But it like the flower that we've been told not to look at, you will look, in otherwords, you are unable to ignore the hurt. It can show itself in anger, in resentment, in jealousy, but it stems from the same place, a place of a deeper pain.
Are you moving on? Sure. Have you gained understanding? Sure, you understand the event, you understand the person was wrong, you understand you are right...{just an example}...But do you really understand how you contributed to the situation, do you really understand why the event reoccurs with different characters and slightly different themes.

If you look at what has happened, and why it happened you can reach how you contribute by looking at why this is hurting you and how you are coping with it.

The 100% factor is about you. it has nothing to do with the other party. They are responsible for there actions 100% and you are responsible for your actions 100%. This statement wasn't about assigning blame. it was about who is in control of you 100%---you are. If you allow someone to limit your actions with rules and you follow them, who is responsible? You 1

RE: what is forgiveness?

ORIGINAL: northstar

I think we're basically on the same page

I agree, and I think that's even more obvious in our discussion over in the Lying thread. In fact, I think I might have been more explicit in that thread, when it would have been more helpful here.

I agree that we don't need to understand in order to forgive. We don't need to understand the event or the other person, although to reach explanations certainly help. In my opinion, this isn't truly forgiving someone, it is saying you are forgiving someone, it is acting like you are, but if the blame remains it is like that flower on your windowsill, except instead of being pretty it is inside held in pain.
...

If you look at what has happened, and why it happened you can reach how you contribute by looking at why this is hurting you and how you are coping with it.

It is not necessary to forgive before understanding because once you forgive, understanding tends to follow immediately afterwards. Some people struggle with the issue and try to understand first, assuming they can't forgive until they understand. But the reality is, doing things in reverse order can sometimes produce the understanding that had been so elusive in the first place. You wouldn't think so, but it does work that way, for some reason.

Also, it is not necessary to understand every nuance of a situation in order to forgive, because forgiveness is merely acknowledging that the other person has limits. Problems arise when we have unreasonable expectations and assume the other person is unlimited and capable of being more than they are. Forgiveness is merely acknowledging that they are not perfect and are, indeed, limited and capable of mistakes -- mistakes that can sometimes hurt us very badly. That's all we're forgiving, because forgiveness is not condoning. We are not condoning the other person's actions, but merely acknowledging that they are limited enough to have taken those actions, that's all.

The 100% factor is about you. it has nothing to do with the other party. They are responsible for there actions 100% and you are responsible for your actions 100%. This statement wasn't about assigning blame. it was about who is in control of you 100%---you are. If you allow someone to limit your actions with rules and you follow them, who is responsible? You 100%.

Yes, I think as we discovered in the Lying thread, you are using 100% for each person, totaling 200%, and I am using 50% for each person, totaling 100%, but we are both trying to say the same thing -- that each person is *equally* responsible in any given situation. That's what's important.

In taking responsibility for the choices we make, we can chose to honor ourselves and understand the lesson, and move on. It is 100% authentic.

Absolutely!

[sm=nature-smiley-008.gif]

RE: what is forgiveness?

RATS! Am l taking too long if it just goes click and disappears!

Well, l wanted to just clarify the 100% factor and how it works in this issue of frogiveness.

1. It is not about blame, and so assigning responsibily is fine, but see it as part of your journey to forgiveness at a deep and authentic level.

2. Understand that everyone is responsible 100% for themselves. Even if you are the most sweetest, innocent child, you are capable to form your opinions and are shaped according to your environment, but you are still 100% responsible. You can be a victim and still you are 100% responsible for yourself and how you chose to react, and how you chose to carry on.

3. Understand that if something happened in which you are left feeling you have to forgive, you need to honor that and allow yourself to be in that moment. It might be a dark time for you, but it is important to learn from everything, because this is your journey and that is 100% you. It only is tied to blame and responsibility because you need to decide how to handle it.

4. Forgiveness on the surface is going to result in burried feelings. So even if it is a slight that you keep thinking about you must recognize that you are 100% responsible of self-care, and so you need to recognize every lesson you can squeeze out of it before you can truly forgive and really mean it.

this is the essence of the 100% factor. It is not about assigning responsiblity, it is about freeing yourself from a situation in which you have not truly forgiven.

there are no shortcuts.

peace and light, northstar

RE: what is forgiveness?

Well said Northstar.

If someone placed a hot burning metal rod in our hand would we grasp it tightly whilst it burned through the hand causing immense pain, or would we simply let it go and initiate the natural healing process? Forgiveness is a choice, just the same.

Holding a resentment is like drinking bitter poison ourselves and hoping that our enemy will drop dead.

My favourite quote on forgiveness is by Mark Twain

"Forgiveness is the fragrance that a violet sheds on the heel that crushed it"

that sums it all up for me.

Trin
x

RE: what is forgiveness?

I think I explained my position about forgiveness best in my previous post, #104 above. 🙂

RE: what is forgiveness?

Yes... 104 insightful indeed!

RE: what is forgiveness?

ORIGINAL: trin

Yes... 104 insightful indeed!

Thank you, Trin. 🙂

RE: what is forgiveness?

Language is a funny thing. It can suggest a way of thinking rather than merely expressing it.

In my way of thinking, forgiving is not really about other people. It is about myself.

Forgiving somebody is a figment of language. It seems to have arisen out of the concept of blame. Oneobjective in my life is to learn to stop blaming others. To blame others isasurrenderof some sovereignty overmy ownlife. It is a hinderance to my self-realisation.

Blaming isfalsehood. But to forgive is to "unblame" and is a healing of selfirrespective ofthe healing of any relationship with someone else.

Learning not to blame is an inspiring journey that will render forgiveness irrelevant.

RE: what is forgiveness?

Blame is really important to admit to yourself, as we all have shadow sides to ourselves, and everyone is human and in the humanness we have flaws, and need to be honest and not pretend we are so wonderful we don't every blame anyone.

Blame is simply part of the journey. It is not a necessarily negative thing, since we need to gahter lessons as we move through life. When we are younger, we tend to make mistakes, naturally, and then as we recover from the mistakes we go through the whole gamet of human emotions including blame. It is vital to development to not stifle our selves in an attempt to appear perfect, such as 'l don't blame' the opposite of this is 'l do blame' . So which is the truth, because in understanding the depth of your own humanness, including your flaws, you can accept yourself, and in that is forgivenness and truth.

If you are denying that you blame, then l suggest that you are in a denial stage of healing.

Forgivenness is a journey to understanding the world, and your relationship to it. When you understand the lessons you will find the universe resides in your heart.

your friend , northstar

RE: what is forgiveness?

I doubt there is anybody, however wise,and not knowing everybody's history, who can speak for everybody. I, too can only speak for myself.

I often hear the argument that "this is humanity", "this is what we are", so accept it. Peoplecan usethe argument to try to flatten humanity at their own level of understanding. "We are all like such and such...", "each and every one of us is so and so..."...but I know this is only a projection of themselves.

From my own perspective I have discovered the falsehood in blaming simply by examining the cases when I have succumbed to it. In everycase, without exception, I have come to realise I had only been fighting with myself. I had been clinging to false expectationswhich I must have somehow learnt, but were being denied by my reality. I was failing to learn what my experience was telling me. Any frustration at this would belong with me and would be pointless. If I'd had the correct knowledge at the time I would have simply learnt the correct perspective. Blame has only served to hinder my search for knowledge. I find blame a foolishness. I would rather admit that I have the wrong perspective than accept that I must blame.

By freeing thedevelopment of my knowledge from blame Igain a morepeaceful interpretation and expectation of my environment.

I am learning to admit that I got it wrong, not that blame ismy "human" trait with which I must live.