If you could change one thing...

Hi Arwenfreebird. Yeah, that thing about 'would you talk to someone else the way that you talk to yourself?' is a real doozy when it comes to self-criticism. I hope you learn to celebrate yourself more. My own is not being able to stay in that place of contentment. Such a beautiful feeling - why do I let it go? x

Hi Arwenfreebird

If you could change one thing about your inner nature what would it be and why? Or are you happy with the you are and feel there is nothing you would change?

How deep is your "inner nature"?

Do you really mean: "What would you change to be in touch with your inner nature"?

Norbu

Just one thing! Goodness - how hard. There are many things I would like to change to hurry my way along the road to enlightenment! (Impatience maybe?)

The one I am struggling with at the moment is ungenerosity of spirit. By that I mean that I sometimes find it hard to appreciate other people's successes and retreat into envy! I forget that we are all connected and that their success can only benefit all of us. I'm kind of cancelling it out with my bad attitude so in the long run I am probably slowing us all down.

Sorry everyone :dft006:

Eeyore

Hi Rachel

You said:

I forget that we are all connected and that their success can only benefit all of us. I'm kind of cancelling it out with my bad attitude so in the long run I am probably slowing us all down.

Don't be daft!

We all have to sort out this kind of nonsense and seeing the way we think and behave selfishly is at least half way to changing for the better.

Here's a good one along these lines: The Dalai Lama was asked what was worse, to commit an evil act and out of ignorance or commit an evil act knowing the act is evil.

HHDL said that it was better to be aware of our wrong doing because sooner or later we would then stop doing it.

If you aren't even aware of your bad habits of thinking how could you ever correct them? And you, becomming more aware of your selfishness and expressing a desire to overcome it are contributing very positively to the interconnectedness of us "all".

Think how good this is! How fortunate you are to have reached this stage in your evolution of consciousness after countless lives and how valuable is this precious human life for you to work with this for the good of all beings!

Don't be and Eeyore, get on with your adventure of life for the good of us all!

Norbu

Okaaaaay!

That put me in my place didn't it?

Do you really mean: "What would you change to be in touch with your inner nature"?

No, I meant what I asked in the first place. 🙂

If you could change one thing about your inner nature what would it be and why?

The one thing to change:
I would stop trying to be 'good', and instead be selfless.

Why?:
"Do, or do not; there is no 'try'" the wise words of Master Yoda

No, I meant what I asked in the first place. 🙂

OK so you want to change the aspect of your inner nature that is self critical?

It is part of your inner nature to be self critical, and you being self critical are aware of your inadequate nature which you wish to change! Will the self critical you ever be able to change the you that is self critical by being self critical?

..or is there a deep perfect inner nature that can be recognised? If this is so, all you need to do is recognise this deep inner perfection and all of a sudden... what happened to the critical self? Where did it go?

Are we just a habit of the way we think?

😮

Norbu

I would change the fact that i know i cannot change everything or everyone but i wish sometimes i could get people to 'get it' ....you know have faith, everything works out ok, only you can do it and you can if you try....lots of positive thinking...
and even trust in myself enough that sometimes i believe myself.

I don't think I would change anything.....I don't seek enlightenment or some deep mystical path!. I just like being close to nature and the folklore that surrounds our distant ancestors.......

The history and myth that encompasses Spirituality and Religion is enough for me.......when I meditate or pray, I feel connected to the Universal power that we call God....or Goddess.....or whatever name we personally call our Guides and Spirits.

I am happy being .....just me.

OK so you want to change the aspect of your inner nature that is self critical?

It is part of your inner nature to be self critical, and you being self critical are aware of your inadequate nature which you wish to change! Will the self critical you ever be able to change the you that is self critical by being self critical?

..or is there a deep perfect inner nature that can be recognised? If this is so, all you need to do is recognise this deep inner perfection and all of a sudden... what happened to the critical self? Where did it go?

Are we just a habit of the way we think?

😮

Norbu

I have got far more self critical since I worked at a place which had a blame culture. Sometimes our inner nature can be honed by our outward experiences.

I have got far more self critical since I worked at a place which had a blame culture. Sometimes our inner nature can be honed by our outward experiences.

You then have three options:

1) Stay where you are and keep feeling bad
2) Find a new job and escape the negative influence of your work environment
3) Stay in your job and find a way of not being effected negatively by your work environmnent

The trouble is with option 2) is that we quite often find that we repeat our experiences.

So who is to blame?

You hold the key to changing your experience. From a Buddhist point of view this can only really happen when we can see that those who are persecuting us are actually suffering and that we are fortunate to have the opportunity to learn compassion from their pain.

What happens when the negative experience passes? Is our inner nature changed?

I know it is easy to say but I also believe there is no other option to change the world we experience but to change our view and our feelings about others that we think are hurting us. Buddists believe that we have to foster loving kindness towards all beings, giving special thanks to those who harm us for the opportunities they give us to develop our compassionate heart and come to understand the false view of a separate (victim and abuser) self to escape suffering.

Norbu

I've thought long and hard about this question before answering. In the way it's asked, I can honestly say that there isn't one things I would want to change about myself. I am constantly changing with every moment and all the time it is leading me to interesting things, some of which I am familiar with, some of which I have never encountered, some of which could be perceived as being good and other percieved as bad. I am happy with where I am going and see no need to change anything.

Love and Reiki Hugs

I'm

I'm a 'giver', a giver of energy, of perspective and insights - sometimes it is very emotionally draining and I need to re energize, Sometimes I give till it hurts me. Sometimes I wish I didn't give so much to others - sometimes they say Thank you to me after a discussion and I wonder why they say that, but then they also say that I give so much and some have felt guilty that they take so much and don't feel like they offer much to me in return. But the giving is my receiving - it's just that sometimes it is tiring to me

Hello Awrenfreebird,
I also would be aware of changing the place of the thought of self critizim to bring about the fact of we are were suppossed to be with self critizim we look to miss the factors that have creativity to bring about a place of understanding the mission were on so dont look to the factors of self look to the programing that is near in the mists of our life and accept to shove on....Gypsee

For me? I would probably change...my stubborness. I just can't see things someone else's way if I really believe I'm right. And sometimes I just don't like to admit it... :p

I would change......nothing, nothing really. I just think I'm lovely. No, seriously, I think that everything that I am, even my being impulsive sometimes, has made me who I am, has brought me to the place where I am right now in life.....and I like it. 🙂

Hmmm... there's heaps I'd like to change about my outer nature, and am trying to work on (... my hyper-sensitivity, my tendency to defeatism & depression, my over-idealism & eagerness that scares people away, my intensity, my inability to behave as blandly as expected in many circs, my over-analysis, my terrible difficulty being happy for more than a few seconds ...)

But my inner nature, beyond personality, is just fine. 🙂

ps: "Are we just a habit of the way we think?" Norbu, you rock! (though I'll never be a Buddhist.)

t-shirt

Hey Starshower,

You're very kind but maybe I'm a bit too old to rock 😉

A while ago I ended up in a bit of heated discussion with a Buddhist big gun in a Vihara. This guy have come round to see the monks. I was really challenging what I thought were this guy's doctrinaire approach. As the discussion progressed I said we should make t-shirts with "I'm not a Buddhist" printed on them and the head monk who was listening to the discussion put up his hand and quietly said: "I want the first one."

Well a few weeks later I went and got a nice yellow t-shirt with "I'm not a Buddhist" printed up on it and gave it to the monk. This is a bit of a Buddhist "in joke" about the Buddhist philosophy of emptiness but the only important thing is developing understanding and kindness and it doesn't matter how you do that.

Norbu

i think if i was to change one thing of my inner self it would be, that others will not treat me the way i am with them, most are out for them selves. quite often i will think the best of others even when they have lied to me, i always believe there is a reson for this, but know i feel that i need to accept others are not like this and they can hurt you.

I would change my "I do too much for everyone else" attitude..... mind you if you worked a little harder I could do less! BIG SMILE

I sense you deserve to have that nagging voice shut up. I would change my desire to need to be liked ....oh by the way really sorry if my joke above offended...was not meant to!

Thanks for the thought provoking question.

Love, Light and Laughter

Keith

;)ah i think we should follow this expect nothing from any one and you will never be disappointed

What you see is what you are,
What you see is what you get,
What you don't see is also what you are,
and is also what you don't get,
While what you see is what you don't get,
and what you see is also what you're not
So then,
What you don't see isn't what your not
and neither don't you never ever get it :confused:

But seriously there are two factors that are at play: our awareness and our lack of awareness, projected and hidden in our experience of what is apparently "out there." If we can go fearlessly with no need for anything yet with kindness and understanding into the world we share with others we will not be vulnerable and what we experience will be full of blesssings.

Norbu

Wow. Lightbulb moment! Another profound gem that helps my understanding immensely:

"But seriously there are two factors that are at play: our awareness and our lack of awareness, projected and hidden in our experience of what is apparently "out there." (my emphasis. )

Huge thanks for this, Norbu. Exactly what I must have been finally ready to hear today. 🙂

If I could change one thing, I'd change my attitude, and I often do.

Sometimes this is all it takes to make a difficult situation / relationship / ideology make sense and for life to flow easier.

Try it, you can't change externals but you can change your attitude towards them.

Hugs,
Jen