You can do it too

hi all

As everyone knows from when i first joined hp i had many problems and issues to deal with. In my eyes things just seemed to get worse by the days and didnt seem as if they were going to be resolved at all.
It got to the stage where at times i did want to end my life, but having said that members of Hp and some very close friends of mine made me realise that that was not the answer and that i was lucky with what i had (ie family).

With the help i have recieved throughout the months, i have learned that you should hold on to what you have and make the most of that. Think positively as much as you can (and i know this is hard when you are deeply depressed). I've learnt that it is only up to you to make changes to better your life (with help from others as well), but no one can force you to or tell you what to do. Everyone has their own opinions or ways of dealing with situations, but at the end of the day, it is really down to yourself on which route to take, or the choices you make. We can only be guided in the right directions by others!
I have learnt that i too have feelings and needs, and they are just as important as my families or friends and that i have a voice and should use it. Its not a bad thing to say what you want or how you feel (even though at times it may seem selfish).
I have also learnt that when you are down, your feelings and the way you think has a major impact on what decisions you try to make. You are constantly thinking, and sooner or later your mind is like one huge mass of thoughts and worries that you can no longer think anymore which then leaves you feeling worse. Don't let it! Looking back on things now, it seemed as though i was just plain lazy and used my problems as an excuse. But infact, it wasnt laziness, it was lack of motivation, will, and other things. I once said to someone that my mind was telling me to do this and that, but my body wouldnt budge. The first thing that you wish doing or changing, do it. Don't let it eat at you, don't wonder what it would be like.

I have asked for and listened/read advice from others, and at the time i could not take in all that was said (not properly), but some things did stick in my mind, it must have because today i am a totally different person. All the different issues i had and posted in here, all stuff i had to deal with and wanted more help on, but it was all too much to take in. So much so it made matters worse and began feeling like a burden, or a nuisance. I may not have been, but thats how i felt. I felt that i was constantly asking for help and was getting it, but at the same time I felt that those willing to help was starting to get fed up of my plea's. So one day i sat back and decided enough was enough and that the only way to get out of this ruck was to do something now!!! Hence my job. A huge leap for me but i knew i had to do something. So i did. Now, not only am i out there meeting other people and doing what i think i do best (helping others), my confidence is growing and i am liking myself more.
Just doing one simple thing can change you in so many ways. My only wish now was that i did this a long time ago instead of wollowing in my past and sorrows.

My message to others that maybe in a similar situation, or think they will never get out of their situation, is:
Don't give up!
Make a decision about whether you want to feel or be the way you are at present or change for the better.
Find that one thing that could change you forever - a job, a hobby, anything! and don't be afraid to!
If you want help don't be afraid to ask for it even if it seems too much, too painful or if you think your problems are nothing compared to others!
Friends, family and members on here will give you advise, and most of it the same kind. Listen to it all as much as you can (even at times it can be difficult), and that one day when you are ready to make your change, these voices will come back and remind you. Sounds funny i know, but its true. And these same voices that you have li