Where to go? What to do?

RE: Where to go? What to do?

Hi Dean,

It never ceases to amaze me how much feeling comes across the internet when I read a message like yours. I really feel for you and your situation.

There are somequestions that I'd like to ask you, which have no right or wrong answer and certainly keep the response to yourself if you wish.

If you had a career path laid out in front of you. What would it give you that you don't already have?
You mentioned that you feel that you need a job to me able to live with your girlfirend, but that means to you the following equation , living with girlfriend = having to do a pointless job. If you could list what makes a job pointless so that it clears out the negative ideas and then made a list of things that would make a job worth while, with the worth while list in mind, what type of job would that outline?
I've previously coached someone else interested in Reiki and like any other self run business it needs a fair bit of planning and marketing, even if you do it for free! Do you know any other Reiki people in your area / on via the internet, that you could speak to about it?
You also mentioned working abroad, outside cumbria. Which did make me smile a bit 🙂 I'd love to know what is it about cumbria that is limiting you?
It's also very interesting that you said you wanted to broaden your horizions, yet your lack of direction seems to have crippled you into submission. If I were to say the following words to you what is your reaction? (Focus and Clarity)

If I were to zap you into the future, sitting in your rocking chair, you have had a wonderfuly successful life, you cast your mind back over all the wonderful experiences you have had. What would be the one thing that you were most pleased with?

I hope these questions get your juices going and pleas feel free to PM me if you prefer.

RE: Where to go? What to do?

Thanks for the reply! I dont mind posting this on here for everyone to read as it may be of help to others.

If you had a career path laid out in front of you. What would it give you that you don't already have?

I'm assuming this is a career path I would enjoy? I guess purpose and a sense of security would be the main thing. But having a regular income would also allow me to do things. No money = not many options (or at least thats how it seems to me).

If you could list what makes a job pointless so that it clears out the negative ideas and then made a list of things that would make a job worth while, with the worth while list in mind, what type of job would that outline?

The main things that seem worthwhile are the jobs where people or the environment gain something, the sense that you are making a positive contribution to something larger than yourself seem to be quite important to me. But saying that I also want to be in a position where I am constantly learning and growing myself. I 'm not a person that sits well with monotanous routine. I thrive on change, fun and excitement.

I've previously coached someone else interested in Reiki and like any other self run business it needs a fair bit of planning and marketing, even if you do it for free! Do you know any other Reiki people in your area / on via the internet, that you could speak to about it?

Yeah I have been getting advice from a few areas on this, the main hinderence seems to be me and my self confidence with career realated stuff.

I'd love to know what is it about cumbria that is limiting you?

I don't feel like it is cumbria that is really limiting me as such but I do have a hard time coping with the weather up here. I love the sun and hot weather. Even calm over-cast days are a blessing, just so long as it does not rain. I love to be outdoors.

On the career side, cumbria is very spread out and although there are jobs all over the place, getting to them is a different matter as I dont have any transport of my own. I tried applying for volunteer work with the national trust but again with that, transport was an issue.

I think I need to experience what the world has to offer outside of cumbria. Despite how beautiful cumbria is, it does not have much in the way of cultural diversity. I guess I feel bored and like nothing changes here.

If I were to say the following words to you what is your reaction? (Focus and Clarity)

Freedom, happiness, unhindered, oppertunity, purpose, alive, grounded, comfortable, excitement, wonder.

If I were to zap you into the future, sitting in your rocking chair, you have had a wonderfuly successful life, you cast your mind back over all the wonderful experiences you have had. What would be the one thing that you were most pleased with?

I would be most happy with the fact that I found the strength within myself to get up and I did the things that I wanted to do, despite how hard it was to do it. I don't want to end up as one of those old people sitting alone, staring into a pint of lager wondering what the hell happened to my life.

thank you 😉

RE: Where to go? What to do?

Hi Dean,

Once again your message is full of such feeling and passion it's a real pleasure to read. To me it feels like you are standing at a cross roads, you believe that you are alone and that which ever route you decide to take is a commitment that you don't believe you are empowered to take. Of course how you actuallyfeel is probably completely different!

You are not alone. Everyone here and I mean on this globe not just the forum, are here to help you. Many people can give you advice and their own opinion from their own experience, what you do with that information is up to you. Coaching works by not giving you advice but allowing you the time and space to think things through a little more. Giving you a brief moment of clarity and focus that will allow you to take the very first step.

If you were to use a coaching style experience to help you move forward you will be looking for two things. The first is your long term goal. From what you have said and please correct me if I have mis-understood anything, is that you wish to understand what it is you want to have in your life to make it as fulfilling as possible, be it a career plan, a personal development plan or just to have an idea of what you would like to aim for! Ultimately this will become more and more specific as time goes on and things become clearer. But for now getting a sense of the direction and building on that will help you decide which route you will take.

The second is what will you do in the very near future to move you one tiny step closer to your direction. Sometimes this is easier if you break it down, until the next step is so clear it seems almost too simple. These following questions may help you to being a little focus.

1: What would you like to know/understand about your situationin the next month?
2: In one month, once you have attended this knowledge, what will it give you?
3: How will you truely know that you have achieved this one month goal? What will confirm it to you?:
4: What are 5 things that you "could" do to move you one step closer?
5: From your list of 5 things, which one seems the best course of action?
6: When will you be able to carry that action out?
7: If I were to ask you next week "what was the hardest thing about achieving this first step" what would you tell me? How could you avoid this block and make things easier for yourself?

Make a note in your diary or whatever you use to remind yourself of important appoinments. Then in one weeks time look back and review your journey over the last week. What happened? What has changed?

I hope some of this has helped. I look foward to hearing more about your situation and how it progresses.

Well its just over a year since I made this post and although I have progressed somewhat I still feel like I am in my rut.

Certain things have happened over the last 12 months which have hindered my progression towards my goals but I like to think I am beginning to be able to make a change and come to some desicions about my life. I am still none the wiser about a career but the one constant thing which stands above all else is the urge to travel.

So thats what I am doing.

Work in my town is still very scarce but I have been able to make a start and I have around £500 saved so far. I have not set a date for when I want to travel but I want to be out and enjoying the world before the end of 2009. Maybe when I am away something will click into place and help point me onto my path but until then I guess I just have to deal with the confusion and frustration of not knowing what it is I want to do.

A medium tells me that something good is coming my way in regards to my career, I just have to be patient. I'm 28 now and I think I have been patient enough. Its hard work being a gemini sometimes, always in two minds......

Hi DrMambo

Ah the fun and games of self discovery! It sounds like you are at a crossroads and you will find it less uncomfortable to deal with it with a shift of attitude.

What would it be like to be unclear about your direction and OK about it? To accept where you are right now and know that it won't always be like this.

The Buddhists say all attachment is suffering and it seems that your attachment to knowing where you are heading in life is causing the suffering (frustration and confusion).

Acceptance helps your mind to clear and allows you to see the gifts in the situation. I've been where you are and acceptance and being present to my situation and all the emotions without judgement but with curiosity and wonder helped me to transform my life no end.

Good luck

In love, light and abundance x x x

I totally agree with the above post, Dean. Also try being really thankful that you are young enough to have so many opportunities open to you. It's really exciting to be at the beginning of life's adventures, rather than at the other end. I'm really pleased that you are going to travel. It really does broaden the mind! And if you aim for - say - Australia, you'll be able to work when you get there and recoup your spending. Plus you might pick up a bit of work along the way. For instance, I bet you could get work as an extra in a Bollywood movie or two if you go to India.

xxx

Dr Mambo i loved the way you updated this just after a year....wishing you the best of luck in your decisions..Sunanda is so right, you have so many options and I hope you try a few of time over the next few years...
And I have seen in my life that it really is never too late to start something new... so don't get too hung up about your age... (i'm nearly 30 and am starting yet another new path and will keep on going till I have found the right one)
Keep us all posted. Good luck 🙂

Well I am about twice your age Mambo and I still don't know what I want to be. So much so I have been with my current employer for 28 years.
Actually working at this moment but bored, feet on desk, typing this and reading the Telegraph. Think I don't like hard work! Anyway full English breakfast about 8.30 I think.