What do you need from life to become happy and fulfilled?

RE: What do you need from life to become happy and fulfilled?

Simon, and thanks for starting this thread, which promises to be an interesting one 🙂

Right now I need more hours in the day, and daylight ones at that![sm=nature-smiley-008.gif] Not intended to be flippant, rather the reason for this short reply. But definitely one to come back to, and in the meantime I shall look forward to other people's replies here.

Laura.

RE: What do you need from life to become happy and fulfilled?

Thanks Laura - what would you gain from those extra daylight hours?

RE: What do you need from life to become happy and fulfilled?

For me true happiness and fulliment comes in those moments when i realise that i need nothing other than exactly what is at that moment.

They are gradually becoming more numerous although i do still catch myself wanting something to be a certain way - but at least i can now laugh, loveand essentiallysee through my own humaness!!

Sunbeamxx

RE: What do you need from life to become happy and fulfilled?

ORIGINAL: RightLife Coach

Thanks Laura - what would you gain from those extra daylight hours?

I would guess, getting serotonin and a real and not online life? It's not rocket-science!

V

RE: What do you need from life to become happy and fulfilled?

Hi Sunbeam - I like where you're coming from! How clear are you on what it is you need to "develop" to experience more happiness and fulfilment?

PS you don't necessarily need to share the particulars

Simon

RE: What do you need from life to become happy and fulfilled?

happiness and fulfillment..hmm

I had a lovely session with a client today, and felt as if I had made a real contribution to someone elses life.

That is fulfilling. Looking back I see how far I have come in doing what I really love as my living.

I see it as slightly different from 'happiness'

I am sure I could be a lot 'happier', but rather than have that depend on externals, I would rather it grew from within

tigress

RE: What do you need from life to become happy and fulfilled?

Oh! This wasn't any comment about Laura by the way!! - I just spotted the possible misunderstanding. :eek:I meant of course in the general sense. 😉

ORIGINAL: venetian

ORIGINAL: RightLife Coach

Thanks Laura - what would you gain from those extra daylight hours?

I would guess, getting serotonin and a real and not online life? It's not rocket-science!

V

P.S. I have had two books by Robert Holpen (sp?) which are right now at a different address. I would have liked to have read them. I never found the time or priority so they sit on a shelf. I wondered if it was 'obvious' stuff. Any opinions on him or on his work?

RE: What do you need from life to become happy and fulfilled?

Oh! This wasn't any comment about Laura by the way!! - I just spotted the possible misunderstanding. 😮 I meant of course in the general sense. 😉

ROFL ... It sure read that way! 😀 I'd been sharpening my retort, but I'll put it away now 😉

Quite right about the seratonin though, having once had full blown SAD, I'm now careful to get enough daylight in the winter. So to answer Simon's question, I'd gain whatever you'd call the antithesis of a tendency to behave like a dormouse!

As for my online life, I do sometimes forget to log out while I'm perhaps talking to a client, which could give the impression I live here ... I don't 😉

P.S. I have had two books by Robert Holpen (sp?) which are right now at a different address. I would have liked to have read them. I never found the time or priority so they sit on a shelf. I wondered if it was 'obvious' stuff. Any opinions on him or on his work?

I put that name into a search on Amazon UK and got a list of books by Robert Holden. The titles suggested he might be your man. Links to Amazon sometimes break, but here it is, and if it doesn't work, just do what I did via [link= http://www.amazon.co.uk ]www.amazon.co.uk[/link] and then Books:

[link= http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_b/203-3911697-3074337?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Robert+Holpen&Go.x=8&Go.y=7 ] http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_b/203-3911697-3074337?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Robert+Holpen&Go.x=8&Go.y=7 [/link]

Simon began with:

Let's start an open discussion happiness and fulfillment and what it's like to "get there" ...

I think if you think you've got there, then you probably haven't 😉 At least, not all the time. Which is broadly in agreement with Sunbeam, and I can relate to what tigress saidtoo.

A newsletter landed in my Inbox last night, and a link from that took me here,from which I thought this tiny excerpt was rather apposite about fulfilment, and his turn of phrase amused me:

Accurate self-knowledge is vital for real fulfillment. Since then hippies have gone to India to 'find themselves' without first checking behind the sofa. People go on 'self development' courses. What are they developing, exactly, I wonder? Do they know, or are they just after the warm fuzzy feelings?

Of course, the 'real you', your 'self', isn't in an ashram in India or behind the sofa or on a retreat - it's inside you right now. Possibly wrapped in layers of bias, habit, vanity, fear and conditioning - but it's there!

[link= http://www.uncommon-knowledge.co.uk/know-you.html ] http://www.uncommon-knowledge.co.uk/know-you.html [/link]

[Scroll on down past the google-ads to read the whole thing.]

What's your 'take' on it all then, Simon? What are happiness and fulfilment for you?

Laura.

EDIT: I'd meant to add, for anyone reading this who's picked up on the mention of SAD, there's a thread on that in the Mental & Emotional forum ... a v.g. old one with lots of helpful info,that has recently been revived.

RE: What do you need from life to become happy and fulfilled?

Simon, I had meant to say also that I saw some overlays between this thread and the other recent one started by Flower on Needs... Wants:

[link= http://www.healthypages.net/forum/fb.asp?m=398097 ]http://www.healthypages.net/forum/fb.asp?m=398097[/link]

where I'd posted about Mazlow's Hierarchy. I wondered if you'd seen that one?

Laura.

RE: What do you need from life to become happy and fulfilled?

Hi Laura,

That author is probably 'my man' but I didn't recognise the titles as any I bought some years back ... and never read!

Yes, I'm sure a few of us log into forums, show up as 'there', and get distracted elsewhere for long stretches. I actually keep logged in to a couple of places sometimes.

From its description I've never had actual SAD, but I think it's important (I now realise) to get sun into the eyes and onto some bits of skin even in coldest winter. It has a remarkable effect. (Hmm, that's why eternal grey days can be hard. Natural-light indoor lights works fairly well.)

While I'd agree that nobody giving such courses has 'arrived there', they've an active interest in getting closer to this 'there' thingie, and a group dynamic helps too. TBH the whole effect, and what seemed like a revelation to last a lifetime, might be gone in two weeks, but courses can still be useful - though they don't necessarily 'get you all the way there'. 😉

V xxx

RE: What do you need from life to become happy and fulfilled?

What's your 'take' on it all then, Simon? What are happiness and fulfilment for you?

Laura.

Hi Laura - thanks for pointing out the link ref Maslow's Hierarchy - it's something I've been meaning to check out in detail having "studied" similar models.

As for your question ... I believe happiness and fulfilment are a combination of the following:

1) Strengthening our lifestate so we feel joy in our lives, and sharing this joy with others through love, respect and compassion
2) Utilising this lifestate to challenge and overcome all obstacles and difficulties in daily life
3) Recognising we each have limitless potential, and that by connecting with this we naturally expand our lives (and lifestate) and manifest whatever is right for us
4) Becoming a leader in our own life
5) Sharing an appreciation and gratitude for life; past, present and future
6) Remembering always that happiness is to be found on the inside, not anywhere else
7) Placing love, respect and compassion at the centre of our lives
8) Recognising the need for interdependance in our relationships with everything around us

Number 6 is always one that can be expanded upon, because happiness can also be found when we're with our "ideal" partner, living in our "ideal" environment, working in our "ideal" job, etc. However, there are many people who don't have any of these things yet they're happy ... is this because of their respect and gratitude for life? If so, surely it's (at least partly) because their lifestate is capable of filling them with "joy" regardless of whether or not they're actively seeking these "things". Therefore they're "happy with their lot" regardless of what else they're aspiring for.

One more thing -we all have the capacity to create happiness and joy and fulfilment with our lives (notice the use of "with" at the end as opposed to "in" - there's a clue)

RE: What do you need from life to become happy and fulfilled?

Hi Simon,

Thanks for starting a great thread. I have recently become interested in the Law of Attraction. Watching 'The Secret' was the tool that helped pull everything together for me.

I have also been having extensive counselling to 'reprogramme' some of my negative ways of thinking / Being.

For me, right now, I find happiness and fulfillment in the simplest of things - I had been battling with over ten years of debilitating panic attacks, depression and anxiety, so to feel joy instead of fear when running up the stairs, to wake up in the morning and be stopped in my tracks by a beautiful sunrise, to watch the full moon rise over the hill (as she did indeed last night), to hear myself laughing at my daughter's antics and to feel such joy bring me fulfillment beyond words.

To feel a sense of 'okness' within myself and my journey of learning to love myself are what bring me happiness right now.
Sure, there are things on the 'outside' that could improve - my cash flow is only flowing one way!, stuff needs doing in the house etc, but these really pale into insignificance when we come from a place of gratitude for all the wonderful things we have, don't they?

I'm shifting the awareness from navel gazing to giving and sharing with others too - and that brings me SO much happiness.

There are many more steps for me on my journey towards wholeness, but I figure one of the most important things is to stop and enjoy the view from time to time and seek the beauty in that moment.

Laura, I have been using a lightbox for three weeks now and although I was quite sceptical when I started out, the results have been totally amazing. There are companies that now hire them for a month for you to try - this is what I have done and will definately be wanting to buy one once the month is up.

Namaste
Amethyst

RE: What do you need from life to become happy and fulfilled?

I'll be returning here shortly with some more insights into happiness and fulfilment - just had an idea for another thread for 2007 that I need to post first