how can I offer help to my friend, she has low self-esteem and she is aware of this
RE: low self-esteem
ORIGINAL: roza
how can I offer help to my friend, she has low self-esteem and she is aware of this
One way i know is to do a light declutter.
RE: low self-esteem
I would say the only way to do this is to talk to her, make her believe in herself again.
List her positive points and let her see them
Most of all - Be there for her - no excuses - day or night
Clare
RE: low self-esteem
Hi there,
I get my clients to write down a list of ten things every day that they are happy about.
This list must be a new one everyday but it can include some of the same topics.
This has the effect of "framing" their day so they look at it whilst seaching for positives. Each day brings more positives and slowly but surely theu change.
Self esteem can change with them.
Simple but effective.
Ian
RE: low self-esteem
I too have a friend with the same issues, and have tried and tested ALL of the above to no avail.
I tried everything includingall I learned during my counseling coursesand I believe I have failed and have had to walk away because it was personally affecting me.
If anyone has any ideas I would appreciate it
RE: low self-esteem
Feng Shui has a better chance if you want to try .
atan
RE: low self-esteem
Hi all
It sounds like your friends like being the waythey are andare procrastinating.
There are a number of reasons for this as I am sure you are aware.
i.eThey dont take on boaredyour help and advice, maybebecause theyare enjoying getting the attention, which is really unfair to you. I bet if theyhad to pay for your services they would soon get better.
Ihavebeen guilty in the past of trying to helpand advice friends.
I came to the conclusion that they are not willing to help themselves by taking the advicebut still want to drain me of my energy, which like you said was detrimental to you. That Iwould explain to them that " I can only help you if youLISTEN. (THEIR CHOICE).As adults we are all responsible for OWN actions.
We can choose to get well or choose to stay where we are.
My experience with a friend who was stuck with a deciision for a long time abouta bigcareer move which involved family. I asked her " where did she see herself in 5 yrs time ?" Then Where would she like to see heself in 5 yrs time? The answers were totally different.
Then she made the CHOICE of the latter and she is now to busy working towards that Hence not on the phone every day with ??????????????
Love Amber
RE: low self-esteem
Stating the obvious but you can't help your friend directly - she's the only one who can do something about improving her self esteem and self confidence. I applaud your willingness to help her and keepthat support, love and encouragement going. That's just what friends are about!
There are many strategies I've used to improve self esteem and self confidence in people, but it's often best tackled from a couple of different directions. Firstly it's becoming familiar and reconnecting with all the things you have that you can count on and that you can have absolute confidence in- in short your values and strengths. These are the cornerstones for who you are and are just waiting to be used to make things easy and get great results. The other direction is looking at things you do that get in the way of feeling good about yourself and self confident, the obstacles that are in the way and the perceptions, assumptions and beliefs that can clutter things up. Allow yourself to explore those things as gently as feels 'right' and by looking at it from the two different directions I've seen people gain a lot of esteem and confidence. I don't believe that people need to understand all of this necessarily, but it can be important to acknowledge what's there so that you can get going in a better direction.
There are all kinds of strategies that fit into those two broad categories and it's absolutely possible to see real improvements if she decides too. That's the catch-22 with a lack of self esteem and confidence, sometimes you lack the self worth or confidence to seek help or do something about it.
In a nutshell, in Michael Neill's recent book he points out thatlasting self esteem or self confidence comes from -
a. Avoiding comparing your insides to other peoples' outsides.
b. Avoiding comparing yourself as you are to the image of perfection you've created in your mind.
Makes a lot of sense to me 🙂
Steve
RE: low self-esteem
I worked on a client with serious self-esteem issues for about 20 minutes using EFT. Worked a treat.:)