life coaching to help me be a better parent?

RE: life coaching to help me be a better parent?

My suggestion would be to work with someone whose special focus this is, rather than a general life coach.

I think you would benefit in terms of thinking about coaching for 3 months, every week or every two weeks.

To get an idea of what is available, have you googled
life+coach+parenting?

tigress

RE: life coaching to help me be a better parent?

I agree with Tigress, any life coach could coach you but there are coaches that specialise in Parent Coaching. They would be just the sort of thing you are looking for.

Some coaches give free of charge taster sessions which would help you decide if you liked them before you commit to paying any money.

If you are really on a budget then you may be able to find a trainee coach. As some training courses require coaches to have a portfolio of coaching clients that they have practised on. (But you sometimes get what you pay for so bear that in mind)

If you have any more questions about coaching then drop another note on here any time. We are all always delighted to help

RE: life coaching to help me be a better parent?

:)Hello Mabeth,
Who could be a better mother, other than the childrens real mother?
I just wanted to say that im a single parent with three children (ages 2,5,7)and ive been beating myself up for years about being the best or perfect mother for my children......Ive been on a webstar stratton parentlng course, which was very good,it made me see thatchildrenneed boundaries and they need lots of praise and reasurrance.....
However It didnt make me feel better as a parent, because theproblem was more deep rooted. So i had congnitive therapy...........Now that did make me feel better about my self.........ie theres no such thing as a perfectparent and even adults get things wrong...

I hope these words help you.....
TAKE CARE

[sm=sandrine.gif]RACHEL
PS Speak to your health vistor about webstar stratton and your doctor about con.therapy....... its free..........

RE: life coaching to help me be a better parent?

1.Could I benefit from Life coaching?
Yes you could benefit from life coaching.
A good life coach will help you to make well considered decisions based on your values. They will help you make decisions based on all the options available to you, and also possibly provide a few other options for you to consider. They will also help you to prioritizewhat you consider important in your life.They will not provide advice as to the best option for you, and they will not judge you based on the decisions you have made or willmake.
You may find this helps in 2 ways - firstly in how comfortable you are with your parenting skills, and secondly with how happy you are in yourself. (This may be tackled as 2 separate issues, or both as a single issue).

2. Finding a "properly qualified" coach.
You should look for someone with whom you are comfortable sharing. A life coach is essentially a sounding board, and so it is important that you are comfortable opening up to your coach. They must therefore have very good rapport, and come from their heart.
The best coaches are certified in NLP.This will give them additional skills in terms of the questions they ask,as well as facilitating some of the changes you may wish to make. The 2 core skills of NLP are rapport and strategy. NB. - all modern life coaching is modelled on the work of TonyRobbins, and is based in NLP.

In addition to an NLP qualification you could look for someone who has completed a life coaching course.
Both [link= http://www.noble-manhattan.com/ ]http://www.noble-manhattan.com[/link] and [link= http://www.the-coaching-academy.com/ ]http://www.the-coaching-academy.com[/link] have a list ofcoaches who have been through their courses. (Most coaching courses have an NLP component to them, although this does not mean they are competent in its practice. In my view this course is not a necessity - finding someone who you feel comfortable sharing with, with anNLP background is more important).

3. Am I being ripped off?
If your life coach helps you to make more considered decisions that you are comfortable with, and that helps you to feel happier about yourself, how much would you be willing to pay?
I would suggest that you should get at least 2 "ah-ha" moments in any coaching session. (Most likely you will get more).
You will very quickly know if you are getting good value and good service. If you are not comfortable in the 1st session, generally a getting to know you session, then find another coach.
NB. Most coaching is carried out over the phone. It is generally not necessary to meet face to face.

RE: life coaching to help me be a better parent?

Mark, you make many good and worthwhile statements in your post but I fear that the following statement is false, misleading and needs to be challenged;

all modern life coaching is modelled on the work of Tony Robbins, and is based in NLP.

It is absolute nonsense to say that life coaching is based upon the work of Tony Robbins. It is also nonsense to say that coaching is based on NLP.

Tony Robbins has nothing to do with coaching.True, you will find many coaches who admire his work and some who have been on his courses. You will find more coaches, though, who are quite opposed to him and his approach.

NLP is not coaching and coaching is not NLP. NLP does provide a number of tools which a coach can use during coaching sessions. However, it is perfectly possible to be a professional coach without using NLP. Equally a qualified NLP practitioner will utilise techniques and approaches which are beyond the scope of coaching.The techniques of NLP should only be used by a coach where they are necessary and with the agreement of the client.

I do not want to take this thread too far off topic but I could not let this statement go unchallenged.

RE: life coaching to help me be a better parent?

:)Hello Again,
Just wanted to add, the course and therapy worked for me! However being on this site we all know each and everyone is different. life is for living and making the most of any good/badsituation. Try everthing...............im sure something will work in the end....

Maybe i needlife coaching:D

Bye for now

[sm=sandrine.gif]Rachel

RE: life coaching to help me be a better parent?

Most coaching is carried out over the phone. It is generally not necessary to meet face to face.

I have been a counsellor for many years and have counselled both adults and children. Apart from emergency cases. I would never discuss anything over the phone. Whatever happened to "Empathy"

RE: life coaching to help me be a better parent?

Hi Mabelh.

I am a Mother of 4 children and childminded for over 7 years, looking after a total of 35 children.

It all depends on what you regard a 'good parent' to be and how youwould likeyour children to become.
Parenting is not easy; it is routine, largely thankless and you need to maintain the boundaries that you wish to put up, all of the time, which becomes exhausting. The person who you are also gets 'lost' amongst all of this.

However, it does have its rewards when the children start togrow up and can make their own way in the world through their own choices and decisions.

To me, a parent is a guide and a supportive presence, behind the scenes, as we let them go to live their lives and to make the mistakes that go with that; plus sharing their enjoymentof their successes.

There is a feeling here that you do not feel in 'control' hence the shouting etc. Children, like everyone else, want to be heard and acknowledged; people bask in praise, like it and so want more. Shouting usually means that the child isn't been heard in the way that they need, so they resort to 'bad' behaviour to get the attention thatthey are needing.
Children need boundaries as this makes them feel wanted and so secure. These boundaries must remain consistent because children will push hard against them, testing their strength.

You need to decide the boundaries you wish to establish, and stick to them, not rigidly as there is always a need for a little scope, and take time outto really talk to your children, as the people they are.
You do not say how old your children are; but one thing is for sure, when you re-establish your needs as well as theirs, they will resist in the first few days..this is when you need to stick to your guns....they will soon get used to the new'rules' and will start to respect them.

You also need to give time for yourself, as shouting is a frustration on your part. Parents are people too and need space for themselves and away from the children. It is important that your own interests do not disappear within the routine of raising kids because one day they will be gone, and then it will take time to re-discover yourself and your dreams. This also shows the children that you are a person in your own right, and this will generate respect within them for others. Children can be incredibly selfish, especially teenagers, and demonstrating that you can respect your needs will teach them respect for the needs of others, as well as respecting their own.

Good luck Mabelh and happy parenting.

RE: life coaching to help me be a better parent?

ORIGINAL: Healistic

Most coaching is carried out over the phone. It is generally not necessary to meet face to face.

I have been a counsellor for many years and have counselled both adults and children. Apart from emergency cases. I would never discuss anything over the phone. Whatever happened to "Empathy"

It is perfectly possible to be empathic via a telephone conversation with a client. You have to be tuned to listening, particularly to changes in voice, tone, silences etc.. However, you do lose a lot of the body language which would be evident in 'face to face' meeting. Without full body language, empathy is made more difficult but not impossible. A good many people trained in counselling, work over the phone; the Samaritans is probably the leading example.

However, some coachesmay not appreciate the significance of empathy and some see it as one of the key differences between coaching and counselling; i.e. theyfeel that empathy is not necessary for coaching.

RE: life coaching to help me be a better parent?

However, you do lose a lot of the body language which would be evident in 'face to face' meeting. Without full body language, empathy is made more difficult but not impossible.

Thanks. deerwood

Yes I think I can go along with that without any problem.

A good many people trained in counselling, work over the phone; the Samaritans is probably the leading example.

Yes I know many who are. But they have all said to me that they would much rather have a 'face to face'.

But of course they are a fantastic first 24hr port of call so to speak and I would never belittle them and the work they do.

RE: life coaching to help me be a better parent?

Hello

my thoughts are that a parenting coach maybe useful to you but a general life coach may help you also. Life coaching is about creating balance in your life, the reason you are shouting at your kids is probably because you are not happy in another area of your life. If you complete the wheel of life on a monthly basis this will help keep your life in perspective.

In order to assess your lifeand make changes look at your lifefrom an outside position as if you were somebody else. Thiswill help you. Take positive steps and happiness will follow.