Hi I have been acting as a case study for a friend who is a life coach student - one thing that she has spoken of is my dismissing / pushing aside things on occasion (negative thoughts in the main) - I see it asobserving the thought - and letting it go or using a positive statement to send it away...i dont really believe that I have many negative thoughts, just ones that on a (rare ) occasion pop up when I may be a lttle tired or have come across a little thing in my life that I have not dealt with before.
She wishes me to think about it and identify what is holding me up over this - but for the life of me I cannot see what is "wrong" - any thoughts?
xx
RE: life coaching - help!
Hi Colourful
Well done for agreeing to help your friend with their training. I am sure that your friend finds this support invaluable.
Coaches are trained to always look to move their clients forward. Is there something that you are stuck with, or are not doing? It sounds as if your friend is associating your being in a stuck state with these supposed negative thoughts. She may be right, or she may be grasping at straws. As a qualified coach, I would want to know much more about what you ar ebeing coached on and whether you are truly in a stuck state before really commenting on whether your friends assumptions are correct.
I hope that this helps
Rachelxxxx
RE: life coaching - help!
Hi, Colourful. Your friend has brought up this issue, so it may be something that they have seen in you that perhaps you have not yet recognised. This insight may have come from being your friend or it may have come from the coaching sessions. It sounds, however, that you do not quite recognise it in yourself or perhaps put a different interpretation on it. In either case, why not say what you feel to your friend/coach?
In the spirit of helping you consider this issue, may I ask a couple of questions based upon what you have written in your post?
Firstly, what is wrong, for you, in having negative thoughts. What is the purpose of
"letting it go or using a positive statement to send it away" ?
What, do you feel would be the possible consequence of having a negative thought ?
RE: life coaching - help!
Thank you both for your replies. My friend is not a close friend - of course she may well have spotted something during the sessions but I dont believe that she would have noticed anything in any other situation because I rarely see her.
I dont have a problem with having negative thoughts (the ones I would call questioning thoughts) popping up - they dont happen that often to concern me, and sometimes it can reinforce another thought or action by causing me to look at a situation again, the ones that i do have that I send away would be, to myself,more negative - but again they are indeed very rare and I send them off with a 🙂
xx
RE: life coaching - help!
It sounds as if your coach maybe practicing all of the new skills that she is learning - and identifying negativity is a big thing for us coaches. I would discuss with your coach how you feel about your "supposed negativity" and that you do not agree that it is holding you back.
As I said before, it would be useful to know what you arebeing coached on - as if you are stuck and not moving toward your goal, your coach will naturally look at what is keeping you back.
Rachelxxx
RE: life coaching - help!
It seems to me there's a possibility here that the boundaries between the coaching relationship and the existing friendship may have got a little blurred. This is one reason I don't coach my friends ... other than perhaps on an occasionalone-off basis.
It's also perfectly understandable and natural for the inexperienced coach to want to do well and achieve a successful outcome for the client. However, a trap for the unwary is for the agenda to become the coach's rather than the coachees, in pursuit of that success.
Not to sweep under the carpetthe negative thoughts discussed here, not at all ... but I would like to see them balanced with some "positives" 😉 So far this thread seems to be just a mite gloomy!
I do agree with openness in all relationships, and I think it would be a good idea for colourful and her coach friend to have an open discussion about how the sessions are progressing, with feedback from both sides.
Holistic
RE: life coaching - help!
Thank you again for the replies - I didnt mean it to be depressing!! 
I guess as a case study rather than a client I havent had a desire to seek out life coaching - and you are right the friendship thingy could be an unusual circumstance. I'll give her a call and have a chat.
xx
RE: life coaching - help!
Your posts have not been depressing at all, colourful ... but very interesting, and you docome across as having a high degree ofself-awareness 🙂
If you feel like sharing further, do please let us know the outcome of your chat with your coach friend, and perhaps tell us a bit about the basis for the coaching, I mean if there's something specific on which you're being coached. Are you being encouraged to set goals and work towards them, for instance?
Holistic
RE: life coaching - help!
Hi colourful,
"Coaching is an on-going partnership that helps clients produce fulfilling results in their personal and professional lives. Through the process of coaching, clients deepen their learning, improve their performance, and enhance their quality of life. Beginning with the clients' desires, coaching uses reporting, exploring, and a consistent commitment to move the client forward. Coaching accelerates the clients' progress by providing greater focus and awareness of choice. Coaching concentrates on where clients are today and what they are willing to do to get where they want to be tomorrow." - International Coach Federation, ICF
Life Coaching is all about helping people get from where they are in their life to where they want to get to. So if you are happy in your life you may not be an ideal case study for a Life Coach student.
Your post has not been depressing - but reading between the lines it is your life coach, who may be depressing.
It seems to me thatthis studentLife Coach needs a case study who has a problem that can be presented as an appropriate case study - part of the course work, that she has successfully solved.
If your life is fairly balanced and happy, you may have disappointed her as you did not give her a problem to solve. So she may not have a valid case for her course work.
Suggesting, that you do have a problem, will give her enough work to go on and the "fact" that you are "denying" it makes her case even juicier. This reminds me of cases of psychologists who generated "false memory syndrome".
On the other hand, if you want to help her, you could invent something for her to work on. ( Having been kidnapped by aliens as a child, has worked for me, some years ago :). )
A x
RE: life coaching - help!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Yes - I am going to call her early part of this week, I will post the outcome of the conversation. I guess that some years ago I - maybe - could have done with this but really do not see the benefit today. I am positive and sure of my path and if something comes along to cause a hiccup then I look at it and sort thru it. Today is quite the best I have ever been in the way of knowing, it's truly a lovely gift.
Helped magnificently by this website and the amazing people who are here, of course.....
jules
xx
RE: life coaching - help!
Hi - thought I would let you know that my friend and I have spoken and ended the life coaching sessions, I feel that maybe it was not working for me because I was approached and did not seek the sessions, but it has been an interesting experience and given me an insight to the help and support that can be given and for that I am grateful.
Thank you again for your advices!
j
x