Is too much positive affirmation a bad thing?

is too much positive affirmation a bad thing? Can it result in a very undeserved over-inflated sense of self and lack of humility and understanding and compassion?

Hello Nishira,

You raise an interesting point.

I think many outside America looking in are often quite bemused by the way many Americans see themselves and their place in the world. The impression received is indeed sometimes one of an "over-inflated sense of self and lack of humility and understanding and compassion".

I read a book a while ago by an American author who had lived abroad for many years. The book was written as a sort of a humorous guide to the American mind-set for the non-American reader. One thing he wrote that stuck in my mind was that Americans have the idea that everyone else in the world secretly wants to be an American, and when they discover this assumption to be mistaken they take it as a personal insult.

In many ways most Americans isolated and insulated from much of the world that the rest of us live in. For that reason, perhaps, America often gives the impression that it sees itself as separate and distinct from the rest of the us, and I think that's when the confidence felt within it's borders can be seen as arrogance by those outside.

Britain not so long ago shared many of the characteristics you describe for many of the same reasons; economic power, global influence; military might etc. Britain had humility imposed upon it, I suppose, when it was finally forced to admit that it couldn't run the world.

Anyway, whether American or not, we could all do with feeding our ego a little less.

Hi ya

Regardless of society, I think you can have too many positive affirmations. Positive thinking has to have positive actions. Too much positive thinking can blind us and loose our sense of reality. Somethings anger, depression and other negative thoughtforms can drive us into change and imbetterment (does that word exist by the way?). Sitting on our arse (ass in american english) dreaming that the world is pink and fluffy, being ever so spiritual, wenting for the Angels or Aliens or Jesus or Diana to come down from the heavens above and pull us out of our distructive behaviours is where positive thinking does my head in.

I think if the British was a bit more positive and the Americans a bit more skeptically, the world world be a better place. Now that would be positive!

Best Wishes

Dave

I really found this post interesting.

From a personal point of view I believe positive affirmations to be good, but I think they’re useful in order to make you a better person. I think there are 2 things going on here :

• I am generalising here but I think good attributes in a person are basically things like honesty, getting on with others, interested in others, being self aware, helpful, tolerant etc etc. Negative attributes include things such as being self-centred (or centered if you’re American), deceitful, pride, intolerant, spitefulness and so on. Some people use positive affirmations to make them a nicer person. I’ve done this myself to make me more tolerant of people who I wouldn’t ordinarily have liked. I think this is a good thing.

• You mention about children always being told they’re good constantly is bad for them. Personally I think parents should try and strike a balance between not knocking someone’s confidence but also teaching them the difference between right and wrong. I agree with you – so many people think they (and their children) can behave how they like and it doesn’t matter who they upset. I agree that not telling someone about their bad behaviour is damaging. An example is that you shouldn’t tell a child that they’re not good enough or unworthy or whatever because that leads to a loss of confidence but not to inform/chastise a child who is behaving badly whether they are being naughty, bragging, being spiteful, being rude is wrong.

I’m not American so don’t really want to comment but I guess most people are proud of their own country – even ones who emigrate (as most émigrés I know have moved abroad to marry someone from that country, for a better job) but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t love their own country. My partner is from a third world country – which he loves unconditionally and is proud of. I know some countries are richer than others (generally – as there are poor people in first world countries as well) but quality of life does not necessarily depend on wealth or material goods. I think many people in first world countries confuse having material goods like a large car with happiness and a good quality of life.

Love and hugs 🙂

I agree with what's been said in the other posts: it's so important that America as a nation does step outside it's own comfort zone in how it views itself. Reflexivity, self-questioning should be an integral part of an individual's and and a Nation's life-process. But if you are so confident that you are inherently clever/beautiful/privileged those processes seem superfluous. That seems to me to be a pathological trait.
Also I think Americans tend to take themselves very seriously : as Brits we constantly take the rise out of ourselves, our families, our nation that we are more likely to undermine our potential to be effective. I certainly feel ambivalent and sceptical about most issues: (but not everything).

Really America is a very big country compared to the UK and don't forget that the only native Americans are Indians - the rest are largely imported from various parts of Europe. Portugese, Spanish, Dutch, French and not forgetting the great let's not stick our necks out and do anything unusual until we've investigated it thoroughly Brits -of which I am one.

Whereas I think the Americans lack sophistication and tend to be naive I do like their lets suck it and see attitude. Not forgetting that their use of the internet is far greater than ours head for head - so their ability to communicate globally is far greater.

The purpose of the post however was can you over enthuse about how wonderful someone is. I don't think you can as long as the it fits and is meant. Humility, graciousness and a willingness to learn from others who know more come with experience - and experience is gained through confidence and confidence is not arrogence.

If a child is gets respect and is rewarded for their efforts then that child will learn to also give respect and rewards. Not forgetting that children are inherently selfish because they don't have the experience or reasoning not to be.

We all need and seek rewards - even as adults.

Positive affirmations do work on people, even those who aren't americans!

Have you ever seen someone raise their arm horizontally and another person try to push it down? Usually they can't because the person with their arm out is mentally thinking "I'm strong and I can resist".

If then one gets them to mentally think "I'm weak and helpless", then it is remarkable that it is so easy to push down their arm.

I've had this done to me during an NLP training day; now I'm six feet tall and quite strong, yet the trainer comfortably depressed my arm while I was thinking that I was weak and helpless.

It does make you think, therefore, what the other thoughts going through our minds make us do? If you mentally tell yourself that you can't do something, then it is quite probable that you won't be able to!

What if we begin to load up our grey matter with something more positive, resourceful and inspiring?

You're right. I think they can become arrogant. There's a difference between confidence and arrogance. I think everyone should be positive because it can drive them on to bigger things.

Additionally, I think what can be dangerous is to follow the messages regarding your approach to finance in The Secret to the letter. To pretend and convince yourself you have an abundance of money, that money can come from anywhere and that every letter you open contains a cheque. What transpires is that you receive loan and credit card sales letters and think that this is part of your destiny. You apply, thinking that this is what the Universe has in store for you, buy that shiny new BMW or go on that luxury holiday, and before you know it, you're a statistic that forms part of the debt crisis. It reminds me of that comical advert I often hear about people with huge property portfolios ("I attended the free seminar and 6 months later I have a portfolio of 10 properties." Yes, and you're up to your eyeballs in debt and cannot sleep at night in fear of becoming bankrupt.) That's a real danger that a positive mental attitude can have.