How aware are you?

RE: How aware are you?

Very! I'm as aware of who/what I am at this moment as I would like to be. [8D]

My best, as that's all one can ever do. 🙂

But this second question assumes that we are meant to be doing something, which is not necessarily the case and doing is most often a distraction from raising awareness, except in the case of karma yoga.

Also, words like 'should' have been relegated to my list of non-words. Included in this list are things like can't, shouldn't - the criteria being - does this word support me in being here, now? If the answer is no, then they go on the non-word dump. It's a big pile & rising. Modern western languages are particularly prone to these and especially English. Chinese does much better, without a future or past tense. [sm=scratchchin.gif]

Expressions like 'meant to be' are somewhat fatalistic. i.e. If something is meant to be, then it won't matter if you do something or nothing.

For myself the key is to strike a comfortable balance of what you're able to change & what you accept. 😉

Andrew. 😀

RE: How aware are you?

Interesting idea. But given that we are not living on a planet all by ourselves much of this is out of our control. For example we have no control over how other people see us. And given that we spend our entire lives interacting with people as diverse as the milkman and the politician, I think that much of what happens to us... is a product of luck (good and bad).

So in answer to your question: I am incredibly aware of who I am. Unless we move to another planet with no other people, our lives will have a accommodate other people... and the randomness that this entails. We cannot plan for the unexpected, so life will be like navigating your boat in the general direction you want to go and dealing with the waves as they appear. That is good enough for me. I think it is foolish to aim for something and not modify your objectives as circumstances change.

Ava

RE: How aware are you?

Hi Ava,

Although I agree with a lot of what you say, I think what is more important is how we see ourselves, not as others see us.

I also think that if you do your best then most other people will view you in a favourable light but you can't win with everybody and there will always be the random person who can make life difficult for you, through no fault of your own. But that's their problem really, not yours.

I also don't believe that luck plays a major role in our lives. I think we make our own luck. Yes, sure, things will come along in our lives, good and bad, and have an effect. But that doesn't mean that we can't change our lives if we wish to.

😀

RE: How aware are you?

Hi Candie

You said: "Yes, sure, things will come along in our lives, good and bad, and have an effect. But that doesn't mean that we can't change our lives if we wish to."

I agree. This is why I said:

I said: "We cannot plan for the unexpected, so life will be like navigating your boat in the general direction you want to go and dealing with the waves as they appear."

Steer your life in the direction you want to go, and deal with stuff as it comes up. The 'stuff' by my definition is good or bad luck. By your definition (since you say luck does not majorly impact our lives?) is... well... I'm not clear... but I am guessing you'd not call it luck? You'd just call it 'stuff'?

You said: "I think what is more important is how we see ourselves, not as others see us."

True, but I am not sure where in my post I said that I cared what other people think? Because I don't. However what people think of us *will* impact our lives - whether we care or not. Someone doesn't like the look of you so they don't make room for you to get onto the train.... you are late for work. Someone does like the look of you and they do make space for you. Your mother adores you and notices a great job advert in the newspaper. Your mother hates you and 'loses' your high school certificates.

I don't feel that I live in a bubble. I live in the world. I interact with other people. These interactions can be immensely pleasurable and beneficial whether the result of hard work on my part or not. Likewise complete strangers can make my life hell, as can people I am close to.

I'm sure you'll agree that we make the best of what we are given... which is what I guess you are calling 'making your own luck'. Same thing though... I say tomayto, you say tomarto!

Ava

RE: How aware are you?

The 'stuff' by my definition is good or bad luck. By your definition (since you say luck does not majorly impact our lives?) is... well... I'm not clear... but I am guessing you'd not call it luck? You'd just call it 'stuff'?

No. I don't call it luck. I call it life!

I still think we make our own 'luck' if you want to call it that. It isn't just something that happens to us. I can't say that I have ever been made late for work through somebody not letting me on the bus or tube because they didn't like the look of me, so not sure that is a good example.[&:]

Though if you live in London (your profile doesn't say) then you have my sympathy as people can be pretty heartless on their way to work.[:'(]

I don't think we disagree anyway, just on the choice or the word luck.:(

Bad experiences and people who make life difficult are all part of the learning process as I see it and we usually learn far more from them and those than we do from the good stuff. I have anyway.;)

Anyway, sorry, this has probably gone a bit off topic now![&:]

RE: How aware are you?

Andrew

first of all great to see you here and thanks so much for your interesting comments.

But this second question assumes that we are meant to be doing something, which is not necessarily the case and doing is most often a distraction from raising awareness, except in the case of karma yoga.
Well not sure myself about karma yoga but certainly "doing" is a key word in life and therefore in coaching. It is all very well and good "being" something; but if that being is not doing anything then.... what is the point of being? It would be like someone "being" a doctor but not exercising as a doctor! What's the point? None at all.

And this is where for many people lies the problem. I am glad Andrew that you are aware of who/what you are. Many people don't though! And if they don't know who/what they are then this is where the second question comes in. If you do not know who/what you are and even if you do.... how are you turning that awareness into your every day reality? Being aware of something is great, but then what? We are not living for just being aware, we live to create, do, change something in our life, in the life of our families, our communities, our nation and so on. We live to reach our purpose, our main goal in life, and if you are not doing that then.... what are you living for?

Also, words like 'should' have been relegated to my list of non-words. Included in this list are things like can't, shouldn't - the criteria being - does this word support me in being here, now? If the answer is no, then they go on the non-word dump. It's a big pile & rising. Modern western languages are particularly prone to these and especially English. Chinese does much better, without a future or past tense.
Andrew, I agree totally and I am sure that if you were to read some of the postings on this forum you would find that I certainly share the same views. And yes it is a linguistic thing but one that does reveal a thinking pattern behind it. People say "I can't" and similar thing because they really believe that they can't! And so part of what we do as coaches is to bring changes into that way of thinking and support the client to see that everything IS possible. Sure, they may need to change this or that, they may need to do or that, they may need to go here or there.... what ever; but change is possible and so everything is possible. And you probably know yourself Andrew that changing people's self-limiting belief from negative to positive is one of the hardest thing to do. And this is where I spend most of my time with the great majority of my clients.

Expressions like 'meant to be' are somewhat fatalistic. i.e. If something is meant to be, then it won't matter if you do something or nothing.
Uhm... this is a difficult one to answer in few words. Let me just say that no, I am not fatalistic nor do I believe in "fate" and I certainly was not referring to that, if you knew my thinking. But what I do believe, very strongly indeed, is the fact that all of us have a purpose in life. The reason why we are alive at this time, in this world is to fulfil our life purpose. And so this is what I meant by "what you are meant". It is fulfilling the purpose that we have in relation to who/what we are not in relation to some strange outside fate involvement.

RE: How aware are you?

Ava

thanks for your interesting comments here and great to see you back.

For example we have no control over how other people see us. And given that we spend our entire lives interacting with people as diverse as the milkman and the politician, I think that much of what happens to us... is a product of luck (good and bad).
Uhm... are you really sure that we have no control over other people see us? Personally I am not sure. I think actually that we have a lot of power but.... we do not use it appropriately. We rather give up our power rather than try and share it with others. By the way, I personally do not believe in luck but that we are the authors of our life; but that is another issue.

So in answer to your question: I am incredibly aware of who I am. Unless we move to another planet with no other people, our lives will have a accommodate other people... and the randomness that this entails. We cannot plan for the unexpected, so life will be like navigating your boat in the general direction you want to go and dealing with the waves as they appear. That is good enough for me. I think it is foolish to aim for something and not modify your objectives as circumstances change.
Absolutely right Ava and thanks for this beautiful analogy. That is exactly BTW where a life coach comes in, to give you that support and help to deal with .... the unexpected waves just as he/she will help you to deal successfully and to the best of your potential abilities with all the planned and visible waves of life. Thanks for this!

RE: How aware are you?

candie

wow... how lovely to see you on here! Welcome and come again. Now let me comment on what you have shared.

Although I agree with a lot of what you say, I think what is more important is how we see ourselves, not as others see us.
Indeed, although was this what Ava meant? But absolutely we can change what other people's thoughts and views of us are (my point just above) but is it really that important? And as you say is it that important to know how other people see us? That can be a very conditioning element and one of the great stumbling blocks to self-development and self-actualisation. Sure we live in a community and interact with one another and so it means that we need to abide by certain basic principles of good neighbourhood. But that does not mean that we need to live to please others, far from it. But I do not think (correct me if I am wrong) that Ava was implying that.

I also think that if you do your best then most other people will view you in a favourable light but you can't win with everybody and there will always be the random person who can make life difficult for you, through no fault of your own. But that's their problem really, not yours.
Indeed Candie! And that is... life!

I also don't believe that luck plays a major role in our lives. I think we make our own luck. Yes, sure, things will come along in our lives, good and bad, and have an effect. But that doesn't mean that we can't change our lives if we wish to.
Well Candie I personally agree with you but... but... there is a big body of opinion that luck is there and that it affects our life. Having said that there has been a tv show and a book published by a university researcher who has done a years long work to demonstrate that luck really does not exists and that, as you said, we are the authors of our own luck or misfortunes. BTW the book is called "The luck factor".

RE: How aware are you?

Hi Alex, thank yo for the warm welcome. A few things to comment on after what you have said.

Indeed, things can be misunderstood in this medium and it would appear that Ava did not mean what I read.

Regards to luck, I am sure that this can and does exist but I still believe that this can be changed by ourselves so I don't tend to live my life by it. For instance, I had the bad luck to have crap parents and a lousy childhood but it may have been the best thing that happend to me because I appreciate so much what I have earned myself and what I have now (and it's a lot).

I feel quite strongly that many people will never find their reason for being here. Really I have personal experience of this. I myself think that the reason for being here is to learn and grow, but wow! there are many that don't agree. I don't have a problem with that, let them do their thing and I do mine. Who knows which is right? Maybe they are?

Now...regarding how others see us. This I can really relate to. I always worried how others saw me and was affected and held back by this in my earlier life. I grew out of it and now I couldn't care much. I have mixed with and met a lot of people who may have been 'better off' than me, 'in a better job' than me, 'more intelligent' than me etc etc, but I can honestly say that it just doesn't faze me one bit. I have held my own with all sorts of people and it has given me the confidence to be totally unintimated by anybody I might meet. And that is saying something from my background. I tend to take people for what they are and find that I get the same response back. Very few people I meet are bothersome. Although I must admit that in London this was more of a problem and that the North is very friendly.

I think you have to be confident enough in yourself and like yourself enough to weather the storms of other people. I'm not saying that others haven't and don't affect me, but I wouldn't let them spoil my life. If you don't do anything to harm others and you try to live a decent life then hopefully others will treat you the same.