A few questions you may like to ask yourself ...

RE: A few questions you may like to ask yourself ...

Hi Simon,

Good questions!

My first thought is why not ask question 3 first? Get us to look at where we want to be in the future, compare that with where we are now (question 1) and then consider question 2 and basically ask ourselves whether what we are doing now will get us from 1) to 3) and if not then what do we need to do?

Just a thought.

Regards
Doug

RE: A few questions you may like to ask yourself ...

Hi Doug

Thanks for your thoughts.

I take onboard what you're saying, but one of the first things I ask a prospect/coachee is Q1. IMHO, the advantages are i) we both get to look at the present in a grounded way, and ii) the other party isn't straight away being asked to jump into some kind of "visualisation cure" which they're sometimes skeptical about. i.e. I like to build trust and get a sense of where they're at before encouraging them to explore. However, if the prospect/coachee is naturally dynamic and forward-thinking, then it can become more appropriate to drive them in that direction earlier.

Naturally there are different ways of going about it - horses for courses, etc.

Then, similar to your question regarding getting there, I often ask, "Can you make it there by yourself?" If no, get curious ...

Hope that helps

Best

Simon

PS were you thinking of replying to the questions yourself?

RE: A few questions you may like to ask yourself ...

I have no idea how to even begin answering those questions.
I am seeing a health psychologist at the moment and she asked me to think about a mountain and asked me what values and goals would be on it. I told her I live in a world where mountains no longer exist.

Joss

Any suggestions?

RE: A few questions you may like to ask yourself ...

Hi Joss

I've just read through your other post in "back problems" and commend you for coming forward like this. Before I reply in earnest, I've asked my girlfriend (who had ME and back problems for 2yrs to offer advice based on her experience. She's a big believer in Reiki and I've seen the hugely positive effect it's had on her recently, so she may well mention that amongst other things.

Will get back to you shortly ...

Simon

PS Can you elaborate when you say "mountains no longer exist" ... thank you

RE: A few questions you may like to ask yourself ...

Hi,

Try also reading my response to 'cfs is a neurological disorder ' in the fatigue section . I probably should have put that as a seperate post. Believe me when I tell you I have tried many things - including reiki and healing.

What I mean by 'mountains no longer exist' is that I have been outside of the world for so long that I can no longer remember what it is like to even begin to think about what I want or what any possible future might be like or what it means to set a goal and actually have any chance of achieving it. Most of the time I just live in a different world - one where time doesn't really exist, where I sleep when my body passes out, where everyday is just whatever that day is - it is beyond my control. The psychologist wants me to have routines etc. I can't seem to explain to her that to me that feels like going to the moon. I live in a perpetual void and occasionally I wake up a bit and then all there is is pain. Yes - self pitying I knwo - but also my reality.

Joss
x

RE: A few questions you may like to ask yourself ...

Hi Joss

Without wishing to step on anyone toe's (especially your psychologist's), I believe you would benefit better from moving forward in little steps as opposed to scaling something as large as the "invisible mountain". That way, you can make progress a little bit at a time, and see it exactly as that, rather than continually looking ahead at something that is either imposing or simply not there.

For example, give me an idea of the kind of tasks you complete most days and how you feel when you complete them ...

Simon

RE: A few questions you may like to ask yourself ...

1. Where are you in your life right now?

3. How does it compare with where you want to be in 1yr, 3yrs, 5yrs time?

Hi Simon

I would like to answer the above questions you posed.
1) I am where I want to be and who I want to be.
2) I am heading up. It's new and exciting as well as scary (in a good way). It enables me to be my true authentic self and to be free. We create our own reality by our expereinces, thoughts and actions - I am what I think
3) I want to continue with self-development and learning but I always want to hang on to the curiosity and
fun that this adventure brings to me. I will be the same person but through the experiences I have,postiive and negative I will grow and become stronger.

Kind Regards
Midas x

RE: A few questions you may like to ask yourself ...

Hi,

Thanks for your support - I know about the pacing thing - I am trying - I am just REALLY bad at it. Do the boom bust thing instead - am trying to get a handle on it all but it does require that I sort some aspects of my head out first so that I can stick to it. The thing is I never know hor to hour what I am going to be able to do - somedays I can walk to the supermarket and get shopping - another day I find it hard to get to the front door. Sometimes I do something and later I pay for it - sometimes I do the same thing and it's fine. As far as I can work out there is no pattern at all.

The other thing is that doing the pacing thing properly would require me to cut down on the things I can do - I know this is in the hope of a greater gain - but having spent much of the last ten years stuck in bed I am inclined to cram in as much life as possible when ever I can - not to do so feels like I may as well be dead.

Do you have any ideas how I can change my attitude at all - obviously this needs to happen before I am able to change my behaviour(?)

Love and good wishes,
Joss
xxx

RE: A few questions you may like to ask yourself ...

Hi Joss

I spoke to my girlfriend about this last night and she totally understands where you're coming from. She relates especially to the "boom bust" thing, and said this was something she had to change otherwise she knew she would continue wiping herself out. She found that by giving herself daily, weekly and monthly goals, she could keep sight of her progress, and express gratitude and happiness for every little thing she achieved. The key was to stop trying to do too much, especially when she felt she had extra energy, because this would normally result in paying the price the following day. The benefit of this was that she had created a mindset where she built respect for the energy she did have, and as such, achieved what she could do each day without getting upset and slandering this respect. Over the weeks and months that followed, she found her energy increasing, and because of this she was naturally able to achieve more each day, but only by maintaining that same respect.

She is also adamant that the exercise I mentioned for you in the other forum ([link= http://www.healthypages.net/forum/tm.asp?m=391734 ]clicky[/link]) made a huge difference to her as well. The philosophy behind it was that she took responsibiliy for challenging and overcoming her condition through gratitude rather than slandering it through anger. As a result, she has recovered enough to be back in F/T work. She accepts there are times when she has ME-like moments, but the transformation she has achieved through inner resolve is remarkable. I guess this an example of "we are who we think we are."

Fact: You have everything you need within yourself to overcome this challenge - it's down to you to make the determination . When you do so, look to make progress one step at a time.

One more thing: With your permission I'd like to email you some "attitude/value" exercises ... let me know

Wishing you the best

Simon

RE: A few questions you may like to ask yourself ...

Hi Midas

I love the way you express being able to be your true authentic self - always enlightening to hear someone say that! And I agree with your belief that we create out own reality - a great example of how we take the lead in our own lives, and transform our environment by first transforming ourself.

I hope you enjoy your journey - if I can help in any way let me know

Best

Simon