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Starting from scratch

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Posts: 637
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(@tigerlily)
Honorable Member
Joined: 21 years ago

It suddenly occurred to me a couple of days ago - and I think I already knew it, but just never truly paid attention - that I've been asking and wishing for this and that but haven't even asked for what I need the most: POSITIVITY.

I worry about things so much, not only that, but I find it hard to engage with everyday tasks that I have to perform and they are enough to make me feel either scared or depressed. A prime example of this would be ringing HMRC.

So up until now what I've been asking for is: 'oh please let such and such situation work out ok...' rather than going to the core/root - my fear/worry/disillusionment.

I've suddenly realised that I'm trying to tackle a whole multitude of specific things which just aren't going to happen unless I start from the beginning - working on myself. What I've been tying to do is plant hundreds of different seeds in exceptionally poor soil.

My initial approach is to start meditating for 10 minutes everyday, trying to relax and release my worries and focus on being a more positive and confident person.

Am I on the right track? Is what I'm saying making sense at all? I would welcome advice on other ways I can improve my 'soil'.

Tiger.

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Posts: 637
Topic starter
(@tigerlily)
Honorable Member
Joined: 21 years ago

Hmmm... perhaps I need to re-phrase that... I've been looking back at my past posts and realised I've always known I want to be more 'positive', but what I'm actually looking for is a sort of PEACE... I just want my worries and fear not to dominate me so much 🙁

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Posts: 510
(@mouse16)
Honorable Member
Joined: 15 years ago

I've suddenly realised that I'm trying to tackle a whole multitude of specific things which just aren't going to happen unless I start from the beginning - working on myself. What I've been tying to do is plant hundreds of different seeds in exceptionally poor soil.

Tiger.

It makes loads of sense but If you are the sort of person who tends to worry a great deal, you will likely worry more about how you are 'working' on yourself, i.e. are you doing it the right way, what will happen next etc.etc. Your own worries will run the show and you will be chasing your tail!

Perhaps you need to be more accepting of how you are now..... In the end it is not 'you', there is much much more to you I'm sure! It is just habits/tendencies/compulsions and thoughts, which can drive you crazy. Be gentle with yourself! I'm a bit the same sometimes so I know what you are on about.

I'm sure that meditation helps with worrying if you approach it in a chilled out way. As a prize worrier I thought that it would help me too. So I meditated every day for a year. It made my Kundalini buzz away and it put me into little trances (!). But....I got into a tizz about doing it properly, approached it with a compulsive attitude and, because I didn't actually apply any of the insights that did come up to my daily life, most of benefits that people write about I didn't get to experience.

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Posts: 1838
(@jnani)
Noble Member
Joined: 15 years ago

Hmmm... perhaps I need to re-phrase that... I've been looking back at my past posts and realised I've always known I want to be more 'positive', but what I'm actually looking for is a sort of PEACE... I just want my worries and fear not to dominate me so much 🙁

Looking for peace is the trouble...Looking is the very cause of non-peace. Stop looking start allowing. Allowing all that wants to happen-regardless of your ideas of good/bad, positive/negative etc etc. In doing that alone, mind that is too hooked on seeking, begins to settle... In that the peace that remains hidden starts to reveal itself. There is no other way to be positive other than allowing the negative to flow as well.
Fears and worries dominate because there is a a constant war to drown them down into the deep waters,,tucked safely out ot of sight.
There is no possibility of peace until you allow non-peace with compassion and understanding

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Posts: 4956
(@paul-crick_1611052763)
Famed Member
Joined: 21 years ago

Hi Tigerlily

Yes a lot of sense, you will find the problem within your underlying thought patterns and beliefs.

I would suggest that you meditate on self acceptance in a open and nonjudgmental way, that way you will be able to perceive you underlying thought patterns and beliefs and evaluate them, without triggering an emotional response. 🙂

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Posts: 176
(@alisonm)
Estimable Member
Joined: 19 years ago

Hello Tigerlily,

I can relate to what you say - particularly the making the phone calls bit! My partner isn't bothered by anything like this at all - and wonders what I get in such a twist about. Part of my strategy has been to model his attitude, and things are definitely improving.

He's very grounded, sees through nonsense and has a very firm sense of himself and his position in the world. Nothing that anyone says or does can shake the firmness of this belief.

Would developing this 'attitude' improve the quality of your 'soil'?

Alison

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