Collapsed Lung

Hi

I have stumbled across this forum as I really do need to speak and share my feelings with someone. On 2 April 2007 I was involved in a Car Accident in the USA (Truck ran into the back oof us whilst waiting at a set of lights). At the time I thought nothing of it, but did state to the insurerers that I was sore down my right neck, shoulder and rib cage but thought nothing of it. I flew back home and on 13th April I was at work and had a nasty stabbing pain in my right collar bone area and thorac area and also short of breath. I panic and ended up in the ladies toilets crying and trying to breath. I was taken to hospital and discovered my lung had collapsed and wsa totally devastated, my friend from work was a star and held my hand all the time, I did not know what was happening all I knew was it was serious. I then had to have a chest drain put in, but was not anaethatised enough and I felt it all and screamed in pain, but my eyes were shut I cannot tell you how painful it was. Next thing I woke up in a ward half dressed, not knowing where I was on my own (my family live 200 miles away). I was in hospital for 8 days, the drain came out and was sent home, I didn;t know what to do, what to look for, further symptoms, eating wise, health wise I just was out on a limb on my own.

11 days later I woke in the morning and felt a pain in my chest again but not short of breath, I called my friend and she came over, I cried as I was afraid, we called the ambulance and I was taken back to hospital and again my lung had collapsed but only slightly (partial). I was devastated and creid again to the consultant and begged him not to hurt me, he said he would not and next I remember asking him when he was going to put the drain in and he said he had done it, I was happy (ish). It was then discovered there was too much drain in my chest, so it had to be partially removed, a Junior Doctor came and removed it without sedation and I screamed the place down in pain. Again I was in hospital for 7 days and alo suffered from a bought of sickness so did not eat for 4 days, I was so down an upset and exhausted.

I have been out now 4 days and my mum is with me but I still have this terrible fear of it happening again, I keep having twinges, I keep having sort of the odd burst of an intake of breath, I do not know what to expect, how to get better, how to avoid getting it again, I lay in bed staring at the ceiling wondering if its going to happen any moment. I know my only resort is keyhole surgery which will happen in the next three months and I am petrified. I have ALWAYS been fit, I have always eaten healthy and I own horses and ride every day and now its all gone!

Please help