I wanted to be able to happily announce my pregnancy here when I made it safely to 12 weeks, but I feel like I've got no support and no one to talk to right now at a time when I need it most.
I'm only about 4 weeks pregnant. Initially the test result filled me with worry as the positive line was so faint. Two days later and 1st day of missed period and the line on another test was also very faint. I've got a doc's appt. on Monday. I know I'm pregnant, but the faintness of the lines made me think something was wrong.
So, on top of that general worrying, my best friend of 25 years - we've been friends since school - has been having marriage problems for the past 8 weeks. Her husband has now said he wants a divorce and she is completely broken. She has 2 little girls. He's basically met someone else. Right now I feel like I can't cope with her stress.
So this morning I completely lost it with my husband over something very, very small. He's forever leaving cups of half-drunk tea all over the place and I don't always see them. This morning, our little boy found one before me, so there was sticky tea (THREE sugars, always) all over the bookshelf, books, my little boys new fleecy sleepsuit and all over the floor, which my boy also slipped on and banged his head when he landed. I called for my husband to get out of bed and watch the little one whilst I cleared up the mess. Instead of just helping me, he got up all grumpy with an attitude and responded to me in an aggressive manner. Then the red mist descended and I COMPLETELY LOST IT: yelling, throwing the books on the floor after wiping them, going upstairs, slamming the door... I was like a raging, out of control animal, spitting venom. I felt so mad it felt like blood vessels were going to burst in my eyeballs. I felt so angry I wanted to smash things up. If he had come down, said sorry and helped me, I would have instantly calmed down. But his attitude sent me into a blind frenzy.
A few hours later and I'm still lying down, trying to recover a sense of calm. My husband said sorry and I explained to him how stressed I've been feeling about my best friend and how stress is dangerous in early pregnancy. I also said to him that my anger may have something to do with hormones.
Now my friend is coming over this afternoon and I don't know what to say or how to help without absorbing her stress.
I'm so worried. I so much want this baby 🙁 and want to feel happy and relaxed about it.
I know it's not a desperate situation and there's people a lot worse off than me, but I just wanted to vent as I've got no one else to vent to.
Heya Tigerlily,
a) I wouldn't worry about the strength of the line on home tests, wait until you get the doctor to test properly to be sure. Not everyone is going to be the same, so I'm sure there's nothing to worry about.
b) As for your friend, well, you can be there for her as much as you can, but don't let it take any priority over looking after yourself. If she's in need of help she can always find it, even if that's just signing up to somewhere like Healthypages to ask for advice (perhaps suggest that to her). There's no need for you to be absorbing her stress, so whatever stresses she lets out, can go to the universe.
Let us know how you get on.
All Love and Reiki Hugs
Hi Tigerlily
First of all BIG, BIG hugs :hug: :hug: :hug:. If I could pop round and give you a nice cuppa and a bikky I would. But most of all I'd do some EFT with you - it's such an amazing process of getting rid of all sorts of upsets and much else besides. See .
Please find a therapist who can help you through the process - which is amazingly simple! - and then you can help yourself at any time when you need it. Find a practitioner on the HP Directory or [DLMURL="http://www.aamet.org/search/search-aamet-members-test.html"]here[/DLMURL]. It would help your friend too - in fact you might book in together and group-tap and then when you have learned the process you can help each other if the therapist is not available. I have found it makes an enormous difference to my clients.
Love and Light
Hi, Tigerlily
Hope you are feeling better now.
I have had a lot of hormonal problems over the last year - it's very scary.
Please PM me if you want - I'm happy to be 'listen' to you when you need someone & 'chat' about things.
Take care, :hug:
Yvonne xxx
Try to spend some calm time (meditating?) - just you & your baby
Thanks for lovely replies, everyone. I feel slightly less in the grip of anger, although my friend's marriage break-up is on my mind every waking moment - and that includes if I wake up at silly times throughout the night.
Her marriage break-up is such a complicated issue, that I may vent on the mental/emotional forum.
But there's been something of an amazing development:
Turns out my friend is pregnant too, probably almost to the same degree!! So now both of us must keep our stress levels down. Shame the news had no effect on her husband's decision - he was angry and upset, told her he'd never even wanted to have their second child and he's still leaving her.
But I think it's good news and something of a miracle! Even though I know life will be hard for her, she has a good support network.
I'm so late with my reply and missed out on the conversation, what a pity! I just wanted to say that I hope everything worked out well for you and your friend. Pregnancy can be plenty enough of a worry without all of life's other issues getting in the way too. I know it, I went through it also. Anyway, hope you both have very healthy babies and happy home lives!