Hi - I found out yesterday that I am pregnant. I am 29 and I have been with my partner for nearly 3 years, we have a house together, a number of pets and both have good jobs.
My partner really wants children, personally I do but I keep saying in the future, not yet, however I don't know what I am waiting for? I don't think I will get to a point where I can say 'i really want to start a family', but then I know a lot of people say that and when the baby comes along they are over the moon. However I am totally confused.
I am unsure about having the baby, we are not married and I worry about what people might think, I am very sporty - I have a horse and play competitive basketball, I feel like I will have to give all this up. I have a good job which offers good future career potential, I love this job however I am so worried about how I would cope with work after the baby was born? We both need to earn the £ and I'd be devastated if I could not go back full time.
I can't imagine have a big baby belly, looking after or caring for a child etc, I can't see 'ME' doing that.
I keep think as I am only 4-6 weeks gone maybe I should consider the fact that it would be wise to have an abortion?
Oh god I just don't know. Any advice would help.
Many thanks
x
Hiya
This is a very confusing time and very changing time. You have already said your dont know what you are waiting for. There is never a good time to start a family as it nearly always will involve the loss, or temporary loss, of one income. But you will manage, everyone always does and there are lots of changes to contended with. Dont worry about what other people think, it is what you think that matters. You wont need to give anything up that you enjoy doing...you will find a way, plus you will feel differently once you have a baby and your priorities change. My daughter recently fell pregnant and she went through a crisis, as you are describing, but she is fine now and really looking forward to having the baby. Your worries are natural and just a sign of changing times. I do hope what I've said is at least a little bit helpful. I wish you all the best x
Hi & welcome to HP, what your feeling is perfectly normal, I remember having simular thoughts myself with all (3) of my pregnancies. I personally feel that fate has a lot to do with it when you fall pregnant, after all we are talking about bringing a new life into the world..a whole new person to make their mark:)
If you decide to go throught with your pregnancy then you will have to slow down on the sporty stuff and become a spectator for a while for your health as well as the babies, but as soon as the baby is born you'll be able to carry on with your hobbies. Do you have close family and support? Lots of women manage a full time job and a family. As for worrying what people think about being married or not forget about them, it's 2008 and whether or not a child is born outa wedlock isn't a concern these days. This is an important time for you and your partner and you need to decide what you both want and truly forget about what other people may think..good luck with whatever you decide
Love
Amy
xxx
Dear Sue & Amelia
Thank you for your reply, as the day goes by I think I am coming to terms with it - that makes it sounds like an illness! Sorry, don't mean it like that.
I am going to take some time and really think about this, more importantly I guess I should think about the positive and stop thinking of the negatives - like you said there is never a right time.
Thank you both for your thoughts and advice.
x
If you continue with your pregnancy you will probably find that in a couple of weeks time your mothering instincts will kick in. Feeling your baby moving around inside you is magical. And when you give birth and hold your baby for the first time.....well, there is nothing like it.
If you do go ahead, regardless of any morning sickness or aches and pains etc., stay positive, it can be pretty hard going at times but the gift at the end makes it all worth it. That is how it was for me with the four babies I have had.
OK, life changes when you have a baby. But it is up to you to see those changes as positive.
All the best.
Rx
i know where you are coming from on this, however i dont think there is a perfect time, in life we always want more than we have at that moment, the hormones will kick in soon and i am sure once you get to see your baby on a first scan things will chick more into place, on the not being married front as long as the child has 2 supportive parents to be there, thats the main thing
good luck
Clair xx