Hello I just found out that I am going to have another babylate may early junea little worried because i have not long had my first baby (6months) and i am scared that i dont know how or if i will be able to do both any sugestions for when the baby arrives and how to handle both.
love julie.[sm=nature-smiley-008.gif]
RE: new baby
I don't have direct experience of 'close' babies (mine were 3 years apart), but I had a friend called Sue at school who was the eldest of 6. There was only 13 months between her and her younger sister, and only 11 months between each ofthe other 4!!!! The mother must have felt like she was on a conveyor belt - Dad was in the merchant navy, and never home for any of the births. Convenient or what? The Mum coped - she just had to. Sue married at 19 and had 3 children herself - with 11 months between them. She seemed to take it all in her stride - yes, there were times she was on her knees with tiredness, but she can't remember those days now. All three were at the same school, then university, and now live with their respective families within 10 miles of each other.
People have been having babies every year for millennia - I think you will be fine!
RE: new baby
Hi Julie,
First of all congratulations. There is 19 months between my two - not as close as yours and mine are now 17 & 16 (nearly)!!! We've all survived, though with teenagers now it can seem like a war zone.
You don't say whether you have any family close by, but I used to go over to my Mum and Dad's once a week (we lived about 30 miles apart), which meant I could get a rest and they could look after the grandchildren. I also found the other Mums I had become friendly with quite supportive too, they would help out if I had to do something particular with one or other of the children - like GP appointments - soa network can be really helpful.
One friend did say that in some ways having 2 so close together was worse than having twins and in someways it was - mostly when it was "joint" or even "single" nappy changing - the eldest one - my son could walk - so he usually did!!! so i'd have to leave my daughter on the floor (safest place then) and go and grab him. We had some laughs, but they were quite good company for each other most of the time and there wasn't any real jealousy - my son referred to my daughter as "Oh!" for the first few months.
I can understand you worrying - I was worried when I found I was expecting the 2nd time - but as Jabba says you will probably cope fine and worrying about it now isn't going to do anyof you anygood - just enjoy your pregnancy and baby now and look forward to a new baby in June - you've found the HP community here I'm sure they'll support you (well virtually!!!) with words if you need it.
LOL
FBx
RE: new baby
Hi Julie,
I have 3 children all very very close in age. I have a 39mth old (3yrs 3mth), a 23mth old and a 9mth old. There was 15mths between no. 1 and no. 2 and only just 14mths between no. 2 and no.3.
I won't lie, it is blummin hard work but I really wouldn't have it any other way. Sadly we don't have any family to help out so it is very tiring and I think having some support would be good for nights out/breaks etc but if you don't have any then you are entitled to free help from SureStart, they can provide someone for a couple of hours a week just to come round and play with the toddler whilst you sit with the baby or vice versa. I found the pregnancy quite tough as you do most of it with a baby who isn't walking yet - so lots of lifting. The one biggest tip I have is to teach your baby how to get up and down the stairs safely as soon as possible!! being 8mths pregnant and lugging a 13mth old up and down the stairs isn't fun! I also really wish I'd given my body time to heal in between, I've been really poorly these past 3 yrs as I've been so physically exhausted and it is *really* important that you take care of yourself - a good vitamin/iron supplement (Floradix and/or spatone) and take some time out for pampering, I'm a pregnancy massage junky and love the mother to be days at the local health farms. I also found breastfeeding the baby tough with the toddler around and gave up sooner than I would have liked because of that. The best tip I have there is to create a "treasure box" for the toddler that ONLY comes out at breastfeeding time, so a little basket of special toys that they can play with whilst you feed and that goes away once you're done. Also a present for the toddler from the new baby is a good idea. As is preparing them with books before the birth, I like "Daddy's Lullaby" and "There's a house inside my Mummy". Potty training a toddler with a baby isn't fun so would recommend putting it off for as long as possible (and perhaps training both at the same time).
So that's the negative bits...........the positives FAR outweigh the negatives in my opinion. I'm lucky that I have 3 boys and they are all the BEST friends, they're so close in age (only 2.5yrs between all 3) and they really are growing up together, they like the same things (and can even share clothes!) I really feel that I've given them all the best gift in friends for life (I hope!! I can see them all down the pub together when they're 18,19 and 20!!). I personally think I've had it easier than friends who have bigger age gaps too, because they entertain each other and also because you never get out of the baby phase, you don't get used to no nappies, nights full of sleep, no buggies etc. so it doesn't come as a shock to regress back to that again. Also I have had no jealousy from the older siblings when the new one was born as they are just too little to understand.
My only regret is that I didn't have longer with them as a baby before having another, but then I think I would have felt worse if I'd waited longer!! you just can't win emotionally!
Would really recommend you get hold of a book called "Three shoes, one sock and no hairbrush" by Rebecca Abrams. A lot of people think it's quite negative but for me it was bang on and really helped me to understand that what I was experiencing was normal and I found it so reassuring, and pretty funny too! if you look at it as a worst case scenario then you can only expect better!
I would also not bother with a double buggy (if you do ONLY go for the Jane Powertwin or the Phil and Teds E3 Explorer - all the others are AWFUL!). I have a Powertwin but what I do instead is have a good lightweight buggy with a front swivel wheel for the toddler and then invest in a great sling for the baby, not one of the awful carriers you buy in Mothercare and the like but a proper sling. That way you don't need the dreaded double buggy! and when the baby is too heavy to carry in a sling (I'm still carrying my 11lb3oz at birth 9mth old now though) then the
RE: new baby
Hello and thanks for getting back to me i do have help with my partner and his lads help me his youngest son joshua is 3 (not mine) then there is my mum and his mum .
I know i will be ok its just that i tend to worrie to much and i seem to stress myself out very often. thanks again for your kind words and listening what you all have been through i think i will be fine.
love julie
RE: new baby
Another vote for slinging, wonderful (addictive) things! Other sling places (oh and Phil is lovely!) include - [link= http://www.brightsparkslings.co.uk/slings.htm ]http://www.brightsparkslings.co.uk/slings.htm[/link]
[link= http://www.bigmamaslings.co.uk/ ]http://www.bigmamaslings.co.uk[/link]
there are plenty more too!
You can feed baby and still have free hands for your other little one and get on with things. How women manage without i don't know!