Sigh. Earlier today I had a phonecall from a midwife at my local hospital who's offered me tests as my screening indicates a higher risk of Down's.
I'm feeling a bit emotional about it, don't really know what I can do.
I had my 12 week scan last week as well as all the blood tests and here's roughly what she said:
- Due to my age, the risk is one in four hundred and something
- The scan was really good and the risk shown was 1 in two thousand and something (sorry I didn't write the exact numbers down)
- But, the blood test revealed a 1 in 23 chance.
- Factoring in the above statistics, the final number she gave me was 1 in 117.
I've been offered a test where they stick a needle in your belly to draw cells, but there is a small risk of miscarriage, 1%.
I don't really know how to feel about this. I feel pretty bad. I wouldn't even consider a termination at this stage... but would it be better to know? To be prepared?
All I know is that it's my job to love and protect this little being.
I'm supposed to call her back by the end of the day with a decision as the test would be carried out on Friday. I haven't managed to speak to my other half yet as he's at work and doesn't have a mobile at the moment.
I feel as though I don't want to have a needle stuck in me, even if it's a tiny risk. But I'm not sure about all this and what to do. If I don't have the test done, I'll still be worrying about it, even though my decicion to continue the pregnancy would be the same.
I've talked to my best friend about it who made me feel a bit better. I haven't talked to mum, because she's such a bad worrier, it wouldn't help me at all.
Anyone with any experience of this?
Tiger.
Sorry to hear that Tiger. I don't have any experience myself but I guess you have to talk to your other half about it and decide together what is best for you.
If it was me, I *think* I would do the test to put my mind at rest either way...
Hugs.
xx
Hello,
I don't have children of my own but my sister went through this a few yrs ago with her youngest daughter. I went in with her when she had the amnio.... can't spell it sorry, she was fine, it sounds alot worse than the actual process itself, and risk of miscarriage is very low, obviously everyone is different and I can't judge, just our experience.
As bizzare as it may sound, I found it a quite an eye opening experience, when the needle was inserted, baby, my neice to be, was having a good nose as if to say "whats that then" which takes your mind of whats happening! I don't remember my sister screaming in pain, and it was over quickly. She was fine after and so was baby.
If it was me, i think i'd want to know, so I could prepare as much as I could to be the best possible mum to a very special child. Like I say, i'm not a mum but have had a taste of what your going through now.
Just make sure you have all the information and support you need, i'm sure there will be plenty of it on here from people who have more knowledge tham I do. Look after yourself, I'm sure everything will turn out fine in the end. :003:
Hi, I just wanted to send you a BIG hug . I would try and arrange to go and see someone (Midwife/Dr)with your husband to talk it through again, so he can hear what you heard and so you can hear it again. It is a big decision to make and only you and your husband can decide what is right for you, there are no right or wrong decisions. I have had an amniocentesis and it was uncomfortable but only took a few minutes and everything is very fully explained to you. You do not have to decide right now, talk it over with your hubby and make an appointment to talk to your midwife or doctor together as soon as you can. You can think about it your decision does not have to be made tonight, they can make an appointment for you another time if you need it then. Take care, I will be thinking of you.
Hi Tiger,
An internet friend of mine in America had a baby a couple of years back with Down's Syndrome. She's talked about her experience quite a bit on her journal and was determined to find out as much information as she could and is now most appreciative of her most wonderful first child... as you can see in this video she posted...
(I love that video, I can't watch it without giggling myself :D)
Since then she's had a second baby who doesn't have Down's, but I know she loves them both equally and has never regretted anything.
As for having the test, you certainly need to discuss it with your partner and, if you're sure that you're going to go ahead with the pregnancy anyway, then I wouldn't rush into anything as it's not really going to make much difference one way or the other.
All Love and Reiki Hugs
Oh tiger I really feel for you having to make such a difficult decision. Whatever you both decide to do will be the right thing. I will keep you all in my prayers and am sending positive thoughts and Reiki healing.
Love and Light
Linda x
I took the blood test and it came back as very low risk so I didn't have to make any more decisions. Having said that I don't think I would have chosen to take the testing any further no matter what the results!
Did you call the midwife back? What did you decide? I'm sure whichever you made the right decision for you x
Thank you so much for your lovely replies! The video is adorable as well!!
I'm feeling much more relaxed and happy again. That same afternoon I managed to speak to my partner and he agreed with me, that the risk of having the test, even though tiny, wasn't worth it as our decision would remain the same anyway. So I let the midwife know who has arranged for extra scans in a few weeks' time.
There were two main points which helped me to make this decision: the first being that the risk of miscarriage from the test is greater than the 'risk' (if that's the right word!) of having a Down's syndrome baby. The second is that if I'm not ready to face the possibility of having a baby that's either 'different' of born with some kind of medical condition, then I'm not ready to be a parent.
I went to see a consultant on Friday as I have colitis but was able to discuss this as well. I told her my decision and she was very supportive and pointed out to me that the blood tests can give a false negative or a false positive result, and even then, it's only pointing to possibilities rather than an event that will definitely occur, and she also reiterated that my scan was very good.
The good news I got on Friday was about my blood count. Whenever I have a blood test it usually shows that I am anaemic - virtually my whole adult life I have been anaemic... Well, this time I have a blood count of 12.8, so I am over the moon about that!!! Obviously being pregnant suits me!
Really happy for you Tigerlily! 🙂
xx
You sound so much happier! so glad you made your decision, it all sounds very positive to me, enjoy the rest of your pregnancy sweetie x x 😀