hi
has anyone on here had a baby over the age of 40? im 42 and my new partner wants a baby. i have never had a baby, but i think i am too old now. (for a good chance of a healthy baby anyway) he is also 42. he already has a daughter of 10 with his ex.
any advice welcome.
Vicki, Hi,
I haven't had a Baby myself but if you and your partner are healthy and feel ready to have a Baby, why not? Every new life on this planet is wonderful especially if you can offer lots of love and a good life to a child. 42 is not old at all considering life expectancy nowadays.
Only you and your partner together obviously can take such an important life decision.
Love
Zimba
Your partner wants a baby, but do you?
My best friend had a baby when she was 45. It had taken her years, and many attempts with IVF (which they had to give up when the money dried up), before she conceived. She thinks she became pregnant after a particularly riotous night out with the girls!
During the pregnancy she had every test going, which she found invasive most of the time, but she was healthy throughout the pregnancy. She is now 53, and feels every year (!) wishing that she had a bit more energy to cope with a very busy 8 year old, as well as coping with a 22 year old son with girlfriend problems.
Her husband of 25 years left her when the baby was a year old.
Hi Vicki,
Having a baby is about you and your partner and about what you both want and need as a couple. The basis of a relationship will either excel or fail without children and the pressures that having children will only show up any weaknesses in the relationship.
So you need to talk together and decide what is right for both of you.
Conception over 40 is harder and the risks greater, but I don't think that's a reason not to have children. In life, having a family is one of the greatest gifts and every couple have the right to try.
I think you both should read about other's experiences and research the risks and probabilities involved, so when you reach a decision it's right for both of you. I think energy levels based on age is a personal thing, we're older parents and we do karate together as a family, so no less energy there.
Every family has its own culture and what's right for one isn't right for everyone. Sometimes we just have to put a bit of extra work into finding the right path, but the rewards far outweigh the down side.
Do remember that the more stress and pressure, the harder it will be to find the right answer.
Namaste,
Myarka.
:grouphug: Hello vicki,
Hi there i was 35 when i had my 3rd baby i have a son 16 daughter 14 and a 17 month old baby (suprise!) i was told i would have no more babys as i ahve polycystic ovaries boy wre they wrong it did take me months to get used to the idea and i was very tired and had numerous tests cause of my age i was quite unwell had s,p,d but i wouldnt cahnge a thing i am so much more patient and Eden is my world yes i am tired but there is no greater feeling than that sudden rush of love you get for your newborn, if a baby is what you both want then go for it have massage Reiki and reflexology all haelpful if you want to concieve good lucklove and light Tracey xxxxxxxxxxx
my mom had a set of twins at 40 (her 2nd set-me and my twin(both 20))and they were healthy. she never once sat down to relax and acted the same way before she waws pregnant. my sisters are now 7 and they keep my ma on her toes. she did say its hard to have babies when ur older but that she wouldnt change it for the world. she says they keep her young:P
Hello Vicki,
I too have no children but many years ago when I had a nail salon I had a regular client, lovely lady who got pregnant at 52, she thought as she was going through the menopause and had been for some time it wasn't possible, she had two girls and two boys at the time and the youngest was 21her and her Husband nearly died of shock lol but they were happy, I see her from time to time and she says she has enjoyed it all much more this time round she says she has tons more patience and the child is her world and even though she loved her other children with all her heart when she was much younger she said she often felt had guilty thoughts about who would babysit so she could go out occasionally, what corners she could cut financially so she could have a certain pair of shoes she had set her heart on etc, she also says the child has given her a new lease of life she has got fitter deliberaltly so she can run around after him and as a result has got trimmer, made new friends, got more confidence (she so does not look 59 now) and she has been doing qualifications for 'exercise to music' all stuff she said she would never have done if it wasn't for little Joe. So all positive stuff.
Good luck whatever you decide.
Love
Rebecca x
hiya vicki im an older mum my daughter jorja rose is nearly 4 months now it was a huge surprise for me to find out just before my 45th birthday i was pregnant again i have 2 sons ages 24 and 22 i was worried about it as i smoke am overweight all things against me but shes perfect im so glad shes here and would go through it all over again given the chance
I have no advice except someone told me something very wise - which was don't think about having a baby, think about having a grumpy teenager in your mid-50's - if the thought doesn't fill you with dread then no reason no to go for it 😉