Do i have to tell?

Hi Diva, personally I would tell them, if you're 16 weeks now then it won't be long until you're showing & I'm not sure if it would interfere with any maternity pay/time off you could get if you don't inform them at this stage....I'm sure someone here will know the facts for you

Good luck with the job hunting & pregnancy:)

Love
Amy
xxx

Hi Diva,

while i can understand your reasons not wishing to disclose your pregnancy, i would advise that you do so, just in case of potential repercussions that may go against you.:)

Warmest wishes- calla lily x

Well you can't legally be sacked from a job for being pregnant.
I think you will be obliged to inform a potential employer of known future intended absence otherwise you could lose the job under deception rulings.
Also, unfortunately, I think you may find it difficult to find an employer who is willing to take you on just before you go off on maternity leave because, from the employers perspective, they are taking on someone who they will be required to pay whilst on leave after they've only just started, and it is known that some people abuse the system by going off on maternity leave and getting paid, then returning to work and going off sick, then handing in their notice just to ensure that they complete their requirement to have the maternity pay.

You are better to be up front with the employer and expect to have to come to some agreement regarding not wanting maternity pay from the employer or some such thing to show your willingness for having the job. They may then consider employing you in that post if they can afford to have you missing from the post for the period of your maternity leave.

Love and Reiki Hugs

What about looking for a temp job? then it wouldn't matter that you were pregnant.

Diva, you say:

i'm worried that being pregnant might put off potential employers taking me on (although we all know it shouldn't!)

But I don't know that it shouldn't put off potential employers. I can quite understand that it would put them off. Employers in the main are not in the business of being charitable. It's only logical that they won't want to employ a pregnant woman, IMO.

xxx

wow thanks for the speedy replies! whilst i have no desire to be dishonest in anyway.. I just don't want to be disregarded for a job because i am pregnant, its certainly a catch 22 situation as i can see from an employers point of view that taking someone on who is going to go off on leave a few months after starting isn't really in their interests but thanks energylz for the suggestion of maybe negiotiating a 'no maternity pay' deal, its a good idea and would show i'm willing and genuinely want to work for as long as i can. Thanks to you all for taking the time to reply

Hi Diva

I am an employer and a very fair one too ~ however, I would be very upset if I employed someone who, knowingly would have to leave quite soon, but chose not to tell me. Leaving me in a situation where I might have to look for someone temporary (which usually costs more) and then not knowing if they were definitely going to return.

No one would want to go for an interview and get accepted for a job, only to find when they started the employer changes all the rules ~ so it's only fair to be upfront and honest on both sides.

As a relatively small company, to train someone only for them to go off (for whatever reason) in a few months time is very costly.

With pregnancy, of course you cannot discriminate, however, if you got the job, when would you tell the employer? Afterall, you and your baby's welfare should be the most important thing, what if they ask you to attend courses away from home, or ask you to pick up a heavy boxes etc?

If you were already in employment, would you have let your employer know by now? If so, then surely you will need to be more upfront with a potential employer. Personally, if you failed to tell me that, then I would take a lot of convincing of your honesty later on. Being honest could be in your favour and if you have excellent skills for the job, there is always a chance that they will be happy to keep your details on file, even if they dont accept you before the birth.

Have you considered looking for a temporary role for now? This way, everyone will be happy and there will be no pressure for you to return to work until you choose to & this may relieve some of the anxiety you may have if you are not upfront?

hi all, just to give you an update.. i went for an interview and it was all going great, they were basically talking as if the job had my name on it, arranged to go in for trial day.. so they could see how i worked with the clients etc.. and then i told them i was pregnant.....well the atmosphere and attitude towards me totally changed! The day before i was due to go in for a trial i got a phone call asking me not to bother because i was pregnant. Yes i am upset and totally annoyed. I feel i wasn't even given a chance and had they had me in for a trial and obtained my references then they would of seen what a quality employee i would have been albeit one that would have needed a bit of time off (not long though as it was a job that would fit in with my partner's hours) Had they chose not to discriminate they would have had an long term employee who was commited and worked hard... you can't always guarantee that a non-pregnant employee would offer the same can you??

Also for the post that said that employer's are not in the business of being charitable.. i take great offence to that.. i am not a charity case, i have bills to pay like the rest of us and work very hard for my income and am very commited in a job, i am very client focused, never late or take sickies etc I actually happen to think i am a very good catch for any employer, pregnant or not.. my references will tell you that.
I'd also like to clarify as a few ppl on here seemed to think i would keep my pregnancy a secret once in employment and therefore put my health and that of the baby's at risk, could i just make it clear that was not my intention and my question was.. Do i need to disclose my pregnancy at interview stage? The point i was trying to make was that many ppl go along for interviews and don't disclose their future plans ie moving away, trying for a baby etc i didn't see why at the interview stage i should disadvantage myself and give an employer the opportunity to discriminate against my circumstances instead of looking at my skills/personality first etc.

Anyway i will keep on looking and be thankful that i am an open minded person even if others are not..... something else to add to my bow i think 😉

I am pretty sure the charitible comment wasnt meant to be offensive, well, thats how i read it anyway. I think that If i was an employer and you came for an interview my first thought would be of my company, however if you were absolutely perfect i would hire a temp until you could take up the job permanently. Maybe a temp job for you is the way to go. Good luck, its not a great position to be in for both parties but all the best with your pregnancy xxx

Hi Diva,

Also for the post that said that employer's are not in the business of being charitable.. i take great offence to that.. i am not a charity case, i have bills to pay like the rest of us and work very hard for my income and am very commited in a job, i am very client focused, never late or take sickies etc I actually happen to think i am a very good catch for any employer, pregnant or not.. my references will tell you that.

I can assure you that, knowing sunanda from years of being on Healthypages, she would not have meant any offence by what she said and wasn't referring to you being a charity case as you have interpreted it.

What she was referring to was that a company's main concern is it's business and money. To take on an employee who they know will almost straight away go on maternity leave meaning that they will have to pay maternity pay to that person for a period without getting any work from that person, is not in their best interests in a business sense, therefore only a company who is being extremely charitable (I've yet to find one ;)) would do such a thing. No company wants to pay out money for no return. This has no reflection on how good you are for a job or how hard working you would be when you are working for a company.

Love and Reiki Hugs

Yes, Diva, Giles is absolutely right with his post above. I certainly didn't mean that you were a 'charity case' and I'm horrified that you should have read it that way. I'm so sorry that you were offended by my post and I can truly assure you that you needn't be: my point was exactly as Giles has put it, ie that most companies are in it for the money not for being fair to people (unfortunately.) the proof of this is the way your interview went after you told them you were pregnant. But just imagine if you hadn't told them and they'd given you the job and then you had to tell them: the atmosphere would have been deadly as they would have felt deceived. So you absolutely did the right thing. It's just such a shame that they can't know all the positive things about you that you know. And I believe too that a lot of women (and I am NOT saying you are one) plan to return to work after having a baby and then either can't for one reason or another or don't want to. So this company may have experience of this in the past. Who's to know?
Anyway, I hope that's cleared things up between us. And thanks Giles for batting on my behalf!

xxx

Hi Diva, sorry to read you didn't get the job & it's very understandable that you feel annoyed and need to let off some steam! But as already said here, no one in this thread was critising you!

I think the general situation is if you are less then 12 weeks pg you don't have to mention it in a job interview because the pregnancy isn't considered as established until after the 1st trimester (after 12 weeks), but at the end of the day I do believe that it's always best to be open and upfrount.

I wish you the best of luck for the future, Sunanda has already mentioned finding some temp work, I don't know what line you're in but have you tried contacting employment agencies to find out if there's any short term positions

Love
Amy
xxx

No one would want to go for an interview and get accepted for a job, only to find when they started the employer changes all the rules

Nearly 20 years of recruitment experience for some of the most technologically progressive companies in Europe and I can tell you - this happened then and happens now... always did and always will...
Everything from employers moving goalposts to employers withdrawing the job after the candidate has resigned from their present job... and we're talking wives, children, standing orders and mortgages to pay... (I've even helped my candidates to sue one of my clients that did that) totally out of order.

But employees like Diva would probably enter on a probabtionary period - which is a 'test the goods' kinda clause that the candidate don't ever get really...
Choosing to be an employer means choosing to take the lion's share of the profits - it aint special... So we all as people decide what's important to us in life & accordingly place our chips and we roll the dice... 🙂

Diva if I may can I give you some advice (that I’m sure you already know but we all need reminding sometimes) – When you are drawing near to the close of the interview, you need to re-sate and gain agreement on all the things that (they also indicated) make you right for the job and gain their agreement on those points again.
You then will need to carefully qualify if they have a reservation about your pregnancy… you then need to dispel that reservation and gain their agreement that you have – before you leave & always close the meeting on positives.
If you don’t wheedle out what their reservations are - and deal with them - before you leave… you will not get the job - period.

Hi Diva,
I've been reading your post with interest and I'm really sorry to hear the way that you have been treated by that company.
I'm in a bit of a similar dilemma myself that is stressing me out quite a lot so I'm here seeking advice too. I initially applied for a job months ago and the interview was delayed until mid-december (because of them). I was offered the job and accepted before finding out, a week later, that I was pregnant. I'm still only 9 weeks now and this is my first pregnancy so all of this is really new to me and I'm still waiting for my scan to really confirm things are all ok etc. However, in terms of my job I still haven't started because I need to be CRB checked etc and it all takes time but I'm really worried that I'll start the job, drop this bombshell, and that I'll get a less than favourable reception. I'm quite a worrier at the best of times and hate feeling like I'm letting people down and I guess I know I will be but at the same time, it feels like it's really taking away something from my pregnancy experience at this stage cos I'm worrying so much about it. Also this particular thread has made me think about it more from an employers point of view and how they will feel about it. Any advice?
Lily

Good morning all,

First of all may i offer my apologies to Sunanda, I'm sorry you felt i was responding to you on a personal level, i didn't think for one minute that you were implying i was a charity case! I did read the post as ' Employers in the main are not in the business of being charitable.' and was directing my comment to that! Sorry it came across all wrong and hope we ok:cool:

Hi Lily
Congratulations on your pregnancy and getting the job:) I don't really know the answers to your predicament but i do understand your worries, I'm guessing you will be working with people as you said you are waiting for a CRB check and wondered if you will be working for the public or private sector? If you have accepted a job working for the public sector being pregnant wouldn't make a difference to the job offer because of the equal opportunites act. Maybe you could have a chat with personnel or CAB, see what they say as your situation is slightly different to mine with having already been offered the job.
I know what you mean when you say you feel its affecting your experience of being pregnant as i've been worrying and stressing over things too but after having a bit of time to think about things i've come to the conclusion although i going to keep trying sometimes things are what they are and more important than any job i am having a ikkle baby and it gonna be great:) It still doesn't stop me feeling increasingly guilty when my partner's working all hours whilst i'm at home raiding the cupboards every hour on the hour and developing a bizarre crush on matthew wright but this is one short period of umeployment during which i am growing a baby that is gonna give me a lifetime of joy.. well worth it, even by my maths! So best of luck with the pregnancy lily and i hope your job experience is better than mine but try not to worry or let it take away from your pregnancy, let me know how you get on.

Also thanks conspiritualist for the advise.. and also for your point that employers do frequently shift the goalposts