I was shocked to hear yesterday of a new mum's horrendous experience with so-called and probably self-appointed breastfeeding 'experts'/'consultants'. A lady who was in the same antenatal class as my cousin told her how these people literally wouldn't leave her bedside after she'd given birth. They stayed with her through the entire night 'helping' - or rather, bullying - her to get the baby latched on. Needless to say it was unsuccessful, left the new mum in tears and the baby is now formula fed as it totally put the mum off. This hospital appears to have adopted the policy of not letting mums leave until they see that the babies are latched on. How awful. I don't see how this is helping new mums or babies.
When did this breastfeeding nazi-ism begin???
There seems to be as much propaganda surrounding breastfeeding today as there has been from formula manufacturers in years past.
I can't believe the leaflets and 'advice' I got whilst pregnant. It has proven to be unhelpful, unrealistic and innaccurate. No wonder so many mums give up by 6 weeks. The worst thing was 'It's not supposed to hurt...' For goodness' sake. Guess what? Riding a bike is not supposed to hurt, but find me someone who doesn't fall off at some point or who doesn't get a sore crotch when cycling for the first time in years! Yes it does bloody hurt for many women in beginning, not because they are doing it 'wrong' but because like many skills, it can take weeks or months of practice to get right, or simply for their nipples to toughen up. Better to have no information than misinformation. 'Nose to nipple' was another one that made me want to punch anyone who dared say it in my presence after weeks of not being able to get my little one to open his mouth wide enough. What nonsense. You don't put the teat of bottle to a baby's nose to get him/her to open their mouth. If it works for you, great. But every woman and baby is different and there just isn't a generic 'technique' that will work for everyone, so they should give it as a suggestion rather than an instruction.
Then there's the 'evidence' constantly being churned out which is dicey at best:
It makes me so mad. All this bullying and piling on the guilt does not help women. What women should hear about is the simple fact that it can be very rewarding and brings about a closeness to your baby which isn't quite matched by bottle-feeding. I've done bottle feeding, but get no satisfaction from it.
Nearly 10 weeks on and I'm still breastfeeding, but that was due to my own determination; the NHS and NCT have been virtually useless. I followed the guidelines to the letter, was observed by several midwives and a lactation consultant and was seen to be doing it 'right', but still had very sore and bleeding nipples to begin with. It was only because I knew a few people that I could ask about this that I knew that this is normal... probably for most women. But it DOES pass.
This has been the best and most accurate website I've found on breastfeeding, I guess it's a blog written by a breastfeeding mum and I can totally relate to it:
Breastfeeding can be really hard, especially in the West, due to the fact most of our mothers and grandmothers were encouraged to bottle-feed.
The NHS need to back off and give women a bit of breathing space and let them make up their own minds how they want to feed their babies.
The best thing I heard was from a lovely, soft-spoken and gentle African midwife who said to me in hospital in the middle of the night, 'Don't worry, it will work, you will breastfeed. I really enjoyed breastfeeding my children'. A simple truth.
My baby was 6 wks prem born just a year ago. I was pressurized into breast feeding. I did not want to do it but felt I had to for babys sake. She could not latch on due to her age so I expressed for 2 weeks in hospital. All I wanted to do was leave the hospital to go home but had to wait until breast feeding established.this could have taken weeks. I suggested we combine bottle.she responded well to a bottle but I got mixed reviews from both doctors and neo natal nurses.I persevered wth it and got to leave after 2 wks. Babywas still not taking the breast.I was still expressing my milk which dried up so went to formula. We should do what our body says and baby too not what these experts so called recommend. I have a second child so it also was difficult. Protect againstbugs and the sort. A friend who breasted her babies have been sick since birth. Mine touch wood have not. It infuriated ne thatwoman are forced and tobe made guilty for it. Thanks for the up on this tigerlilly.
I was fortunate enough to be able to breast feed both of mine, and everyone should at least try it - my friend was horrified seeing me breastfeed for the first time- she said its not natural 😮
However it does take practice and it dosent work for every one at the end of the day if it proves too difficult, surely its better for baby to ensure they get adequate milk even if it is from the bottle and not put the poor mum through more stress!
My daughter is 21 in June, and I had the same problem (wouldn't leave me alone), thing is I didn't have any milk at all (ok maybe a dribble) but not enough to sustain my baby, so trying to breast feed for the 1st 3 days was a nightmare, onto formula on that 3rd day and and she slept through from 3 days old ! 🙂
I am an advocate for breast feeding if at all possible. The milk is the correct balance for the baby and there is less likelihood of them developing milk allergy later on. Not only that breastfed babies ingest the right bacterial flora for their gut to develop properly.
However if breast feeding is impossible then it is good to have formula to fall back on. It is not perfect but a lot better than it used to be - there is too much casein which forms heavy lumps in the stomach instead of the easily digested finer curds of breast milk. But without it and breast milk goats milk is the only alternative. Goats milk formula is excellent - not far behind breast milk in quality.
Hi, I'm saddened by how little things have changed over the years. There was a fair amount of 'bullying' or at least being pressurised, to breastfeed many years ago, when I had my children, and evidently things haven't changed much.
We can all acknowledge the possible health benefits and that it is the most natural way to feed your child. However, reasons to breastfeed or not can be complex and personal, and imo professionals should respect the mother's decision and give support whatever they choose.
There is more to someone's health, I'm certain, than whether they're breastfed or not. Our bond with our children and all the love we can give them, counts for a lot... Hom
Breastfeeding is not easy. For one, new mothers have little or no milk at all in their breasts to feed the newborn, having the new born grasp the nipple and stick to it is another nightmare, nipples are likely to crack which is just too painful and this is just a fraction of what breastfeeding women go through. However, breast milk is the best food that you can ever offer your baby.
Am glad after a few weeks of trial and error:) I bonded really well with my baby and I breastfed her exclusively for six months.
I don't have kids, but I have heard of horror stories from my friends that chose not to breastfeed and how awful they treated. Apparently a friend told me that Hospitals get extra money if they reach their quota on new Mums choosing to breastfeed, kind of like league tables. So, maybe the push to get new Mums to breastfeed isn't as straightforward as they make out to be?
I am not against breast feeding if it is right for you thats great but it is not for everyone and i feel strongly that a woman should be supported whatever choice she makes. When my own children were small i voluntered as a parent representative for my local Sure Start project. One of their goals was to reduce the amount of gasteroenteritus in young children and this was discussed at a meeting including midwives, health visitors etc.and i was appalled to learn that health visitors were BANNED from helping new mums to bottle feed! This meant they werent allowed to teach them the correct way to clean and sterilise bottles and equipment and had to watch parents "chucking them in with the washing up". Parents were also offered financial incentives such as free nappies if they breast fed and this can make a real difference if you are on a low income.
I chose to bottle feed all four of my children and was lucky to be supported by midwives and the hospital. I didnt feel bullied or judged and i think its terrible that anyone should be made to feel that way. The birth of a baby is a wonderful thing but it is also exhausting and emotional and to pressurise someone at this time is dreadful and should be stopped but it seems that the breast feeding lobby is so strong no one dare speak against it. It is refreshing to hear posts from like minded people but it makes me so sad to hear some of these stories. Do what feels right for you because if you are unhappy and anxious your baby will know so its not good for anyone!
It is sad that some mothers feel so 'bullied' and get put off breastfeeding. It can be a wonderful experience for both mother and baby. I put a lot of the negative outcomes to not spending enough time to explain things to the new mother and teach her what is involved. But even with the best will in the world things may not work out and using a bottle is the only answer. I do agree the outcome should not judged one way or another.
There are, however, so many advantages to the baby when breastfed, not least of which is the antibodies passed from the mother, the right balance of proteins in the milk and the better likelihood of the development of the right gut bacteria developing to produce a strong immune system, while helping to rebalance and settle the mother's hormones naturally. But if things don't work it can go pear-shaped.
On the other hand modern infant formula has come a long way from plain dried cow's milk and is a good deal better balanced - but not perfect. And as someone says the mother has to be instructed to make up the formula correctly and sterilise all the equipment, plus there is a considerable cost involved.
In the past the formula companies were advertising infant formula as being as good or even better than breastfeeding, especially in 3rd world countries and this caused all sorts of problems, not least of which was economic. Hence the major reaction the other way.
Now I feel there is a much saner balance and either is acceptable, but breast is best of at all possible.
Yes, new mothers are bullied into breastfeeding. My daughter-in-law tried and tried and tried to breastfeed my two grandchildren but she had no milk at all after two days. However, both babies thrived on bottle milk.
I agree that breast is best certainly, but mums decide not to for several reason - no milk in ducts, husband able to take over night feeds, etc.
One thing I disagree most strongly about is the latest 'craze' to breastfeed in public. I might be old fashioned but I made quite certain to be home for my baby's next feed so that I wouldn't need to breastfeed in public. If a baby needs to feed and mum is out, cover up.
That's all.
Yes, new mothers are bullied into breastfeeding. My daughter-in-law tried and tried and tried to breastfeed my two grandchildren but she had no milk at all after two days. However, both babies thrived on bottle milk.
I agree that breast is best certainly, but mums decide not to for several reason - no milk in ducts, husband able to take over night feeds, etc.
One thing I disagree most strongly about is the latest 'craze' to breastfeed in public. I might be old fashioned but I made quite certain to be home for my baby's next feed so that I wouldn't need to breastfeed in public. If a baby needs to feed and mum is out, cover up.
That's all.
I would also say that breastfeeding can be very exhausting. My son was breastfed for four months and I was very, very tired and he was continuously hungry. I ended up putting him on the bottle and he was much more content.
My mum taught me how to sterilise bottles and teats using salt and Brian had no gastroenteritis whatsoever.
One thing I disagree most strongly about is the latest 'craze' to breastfeed in public. I might be old fashioned but I made quite certain to be home for my baby's next feed so that I wouldn't need to breastfeed in public. If a baby needs to feed and mum is out, cover up.
Not really new, though, is it? Women have been breastfeeding "in public" as long as there have been women and babies. What's changed is our attitude to perfectly natural behaviour.
I had problems establishing my son on breast feeding. What people don't realise is babies have to learn how to suck. After a frustrating week when all I seemed to be doing was feed him, he got the idea and never looked back. I have him his last breast feed at 9 months!
But sometimes things can go the other way. When I was working a community pharmacy one lunchtime I saw a girl hunting desperately among the formula feeds and I went to chat to her. It turns out she and her baby had been really happy breastfeeding...but interfering mother-in-law bullied her into moving to a bottle and she couldn't find a formula baby was happy with. No doubt this was at least partly due to her unhappiness being communicated to baby......
I used to work in a maternity with a prem baby unit.....and they are NOT paid for every mother who breast feeds...( PS who on earth would finance it?????)
Breast IS best.....if it can be done. But I agree it is not for everybody. And re feeding in public.....well I did cover up of course.....but inevitably there could be a flash of nipple during the process. Given what appears on page 3 I am afraid if anyone had a problem with seeing that.....that was THEIR problem.....NOT mine and NOT my baby's
Not really new, though, is it? Women have been breastfeeding "in public" as long as there have been women and babies. What's changed is our attitude to perfectly natural behaviour.
Hi Crowan,
You are right - woman have been breastfeeding in public since babies were invented! However, it seems to have taken on some sort of 'political' and militant bent among some women. There were times when I had to do it but I made quite certain that I was in private in the interests of decency. I have no objection to anyone doing it, it is the 'look at me' attitude of some. Maybe I was brought up in an old fashioned way but even now I cannot look if a woman is breastfeeding openly.
Love,
Patsy.
xxxxxx
I personally do not perceive anything indecent about a mother utilising her breasts for the reason that they have them, to feed and nurture her children.
I personally do not perceive anything indecent about a mother utilising her breasts for the reason that they have them, to feed and nurture her children.
Absolutely!
I personally do not perceive anything indecent about a mother utilising her breasts for the reason that they have them, to feed and nurture her children.
I agree, but keep 'em covered.
I am an advocate for breast feeding if at all possible. The milk is the correct balance for the baby and there is less likelihood of them developing milk allergy later on.
I too am an advocate for breastfeeding,
just thought I would make sure people are aware that as Caroline said they are LESS likely to develop a milk allergy, but if they do you can still feed, it may mean you have to alter your diet, I breastfed for 14months, was dairy free from 4months myself and by the last couple also had to be of eggs and soya.
On the missinformation/ lack of information subject
I always make sure I tell people it will hurt, your breasts are not used to being sucked on quite like that.
I am sad to see how many people mention that they had no milk and by day 2 or 3 had to change to formula, if everyone had better support hopefully they would be aware that most of us have no milk at that stage, the average (and remember that means some are more some less!) for milk to 'come in' is around day 5
We should be able to feed in public without feeling self conscious, it is a natural, normal thing to do, but unfortunatley there are people out there that reveal too much flesh, I remember being out with another fellow breastfeeder when someone suddendly 'pulled out' her entire huge breast with no attempt at discretion, neither of us knew where to look, if we felt that way I can understand how non-breastfeeding would feel uncomfortable I certainly did
and now for the comment that will probably upset
BREAST IS NOT BEST, IT IS (or should be) THE NORMAL NATURAL THING TO DO
On the missinformation/ lack of information subject
I always make sure I tell people it will hurt, your breasts are not used to being sucked on quite like that.
If it hurts, you've not been shown how to get the baby to latch on properly.
If it hurts, you've not been shown how to get the baby to latch on properly.
no it shouldn't hurt long term, but the first few days are uncomfortable
Even then, it's often because the mother hasn't been shown how to latch the baby on.