Hi
After the 6 months maternity leave I will have to go back to work full time. Im a bit worried that I wont be spending enough time with the baby, it will be spending mornings in nursery and afternoons with either nan or aunt so it will be with a family member a lot, just not me.
Do you think the baby will be ok? My mum works in a nursery and says that it will help promote the babys social skills and aid learning but it just seems a bit soon.
RE: At Work All Day
IMO most Mums and babes are happier together for a couple of years at least - but it doesn't suit everyone, and we don't live in an ideal world. I went to Nursery as a very young child and I remember hating it/loving it, and I grew up to be quite independent, perhaps a bit detached from my parents.But there might be other reasons for that - life is so complicated.....
It's a difficult call. I had to go back to work when my youngest was 3 months - anI really wished I hadn't - but he's OK - 21 now - and we are very close!
Much better that you as a Mum are happy. If you have to go back to work, then go back to work and find a way to reconcile yourself to it so that you don't worry about it! Your anxiety will communicate to the baby otherwise.
Sorry if this is not helping. I wish life was perfect and you could do what you wanted.
Sharon.
RE: At Work All Day
Much better that you as a Mum are happy
I tottally agree with that statement, many mothers go back to work soon after having a baby, you have to do what you feel is best, & don't listen to the press, one week they say it's a better start for a child to go to nursery...the next week it's best for the baby to stay at home, you have to just do what you feel is best....can you afford to be a stay at home mum?..Do you feel that you'd loose your idendity as a person if you become a full time mum?...theres so much to consider & only you know whats best for you & your baby. I had planned on going back to work after my 1st but I ended up becoming a full time mum instead...Ok we where skint for years but I have never regretted it....I'm sure there will be other posters along telling you about the benifits of putting your baby into a good nursery
Love
Amy
xxx
RE: At Work All Day
Thanks, I never thought of it that way.
You're right, how I feel will communicate to the baby, if I have to go back to work we'll just have to cope.
Cant afford to be a stay at home mum and it would be a struggle if I went back part time but thats always an option to look at as I know my guy would much prefer me to only be part time. Had a quick chat with both the 'nans' earlier and they (mine in particular) said that they would be quite disappointed if they didnt get their first grandchild at least once a week so I have potential babysitters for the afternoons.
Do you think its possible to work a bit from home as well or do you think that I will be too busy wanting to play with the baby?? My work systems are on my laptop so I could do a bit of that too.
RE: At Work All Day
have you actually HAD the baby yet? if not, you may not be aware how tired you may feel working full-time and looking after a baby. the temptation will be to keep the baby up all evening so you can have time with her/him but it doesn't always work that well. at 6 months until about 21/2 children will usually have a morning nap and an afternoon nap which would leave you free to do some work from home. either that or, if you can, you can work in the evening when the baby is in bed. my advice, for what it's worth, is if it is at all possible go for part-time work. you can always split it between a couple of different jobs at different times. or is it much more expensive to have someone come to your home to look after the baby? it seems to be the nursery situation that is causing the problems, rather than mum not being there, as the babies don't get the one to one attention that they desperately need and the homely environment.
RE: At Work All Day
I think the key thing is that whatever you think either before you are pregnant or before you have a baby bear no relevance to your way of thinking after you have passed through the rite of passage into motherhood.
Some women plan to go back to work and do. Others decide in advance to give up work but can't wait to get back. Some go part time, some work from home, some do a mixture...
Some babies go to nurseries/ childminder/ stay with dad/ grans/ have someone look after baby in your own home while you work at home (then you can carry on breastfeeding)... or a mixture of all.
Some babies are clingy and only want their mums, others are content in a variety of situations...
There are so many possibilities and what works for one mother-baby couple doesn't work for another.
When the baby is a few months old, you'll get an idea of what is right for you two and partner.
Until then, why not be in the moment with where you are right now 😉
Good luck
Tamara
RE: At Work All Day
I went back part time when my oldest was 3 months old, but I did work from home too, and it worked quite well for us, but only when he was very little. Nothing in life is ever ideal. I think if I had to do it all again, I'd do the same. I had wonderful childcare, and my eldest, who is now 7,is very socially aware, and has a good relationship with me. I dropped my hours a bit after a while, because I wanted to spend more time with him and do "Mummy" things. Would you maybe be able to work a bit more flexibly, perhaps take shorter lunch breaks and an extra half hour every day, then friday afternoon off? May be there might be a different way you can think of. Good luck in sorting this out. Don't feel guilty, whatever you decide. A loved baby is a happy baby.