I'm in the process of working through the book, which i hope is as effective as speaking with the author herself. However a lot of the exercises int he book ask me to remember feelings from the past, mainly childhood - how parents, friends, etc, made me feel. My problem is that I can't be sure that my answers, when I can remember anything, are accurate. Since these seem to form the basis for the 'treatment' (as i understand it) I'm not sure how effective this will be for myself. Does anyone who has experience of this stuff have any guidance? Thanks.
Hi Bloke 🙂
Just a suggestion when you are doing those exercises...
try writing the answers down with your non dominant hand...the answers should come from the child within, or the emotional centre. and the writing with the non dominant hand can slow the process down enough to prevent the monkey mind chipping in...
any advice as to how do affirm to change your life? I could spend all day affirming every little thing. That's not particularly practical.
How about:
I am willing to change and grow
It is safe for me to change and grow
I feel like I'm king canute trying to turn back the tide; 30 odd years of accumulated crap and negativity within me. On one hand this book makes a lot of sense, but on the other it just seems there are so many things you have to affirm and so much you have to affirm for that even if you spend every waking hour repeating these mantras over and over with focus nowhere else you'd still be trying to turn back the tide. What makes it worse is that every time you have a negative thought you end up getting tied in knots of guilt and fear thinking that such thoughts are not only undoing your progress but further creating pain and suffering. This is one of the reasons I became disenchanted with Buddhism as this seemed an inescapable part of their dogma. Tell someone not to think a negative thought and what's the first thing they'll think? It woudl be unrealistic to assume that a few affirmations chanted once or twice would change a life, but what can I practically do? It's so overwhelming and I haven't the strength to deal with this (never mind the rest of life; finding money, food, etc). I don't even know if it works - and that's more negativity to feed the negative loop. I'm so tired, and I just can't keep a handle on this. I don't know what to do.
Hello Bloke, I know just what you mean, if you do all those affirmation and things you have no day left for work, eating etc. I think that perhaps you would benefit from going to see an Emo Trance (Emotional Trnsformation) practitioner. Whilst you have trouble remembering exactly how you felt some 30 years ago, this would not be a major problem when having an emo trance session, if that didn't work for you then perhaps EFT (emotional freedom technique) would be a help.
Good luck anyway.
alt4me
Affirmations are like cosmetics , do the real stuff
Affirmations are like a woman putting on makeup, she looks better (possibly) which temporarily makes her feel better but nothing has essentially changed. The reasons they don't make a difference and are so tiring is that they go so far and then reach your internal sub conscious blocks and that is where it all stops. Over years you could bring about change but who wants to wait that long? You need to clear out the blocks and barriers then real change takes place and permanently. How do I know? Been there, done that, years ago and never looked back. Healed my body, relationships and everything. Yes i now run sessions and workshops for others to do the same. long term therapy? no way, two days and its done. but now this is sounding like an advert for my workshops. The key is your subconscious, no need to revisit the past but do need to release what you are holding onto. It is sitting locked away, the right techniques will release it and it will probably suprise you by not being what you thought it might be. Louise Hays book is a great starting point now do the actual work with some guidance if you can.
I'm in the process of working through the book, which i hope is as effective as speaking with the author herself. However a lot of the exercises int he book ask me to remember feelings from the past, mainly childhood - how parents, friends, etc, made me feel. My problem is that I can't be sure that my answers, when I can remember anything, are accurate. Since these seem to form the basis for the 'treatment' (as i understand it) I'm not sure how effective this will be for myself. Does anyone who has experience of this stuff have any guidance? Thanks.
I've just finished reading a book by Mother Meera. It's all questions and her answers. It's great. She says simply that any problems we have in life - to offer them to the Divine, where it will be taken care of. I find that more helpful than Heal Your Life....for me, at any rate.
Oh Bloke
I do feel for you. It is hugely overwhelming isn't it, but please be kind to yourself. How fantastic that you are doing this work now! Some people never do it and although it may seem an easy option not to - in the long run though they are only going to have to come back and do it all over again until they look at "stuff". It IS a lifetimes work - but then that's what you are - a work in progress. I can almost guarantee you won't be "finished" in this lifetime, but it will be a great adventure.
Louise Hay has clearly ticked a lot of your boxes. She is bringing up lots of issues for you and making you frustrated which is a good sign! But she may not always speak to you in the same way and other teachers will come into and out of your consciousness to help you on your journey - I am sure that other HPers will suggest some for you to look at - for me my big influence was Susan Jeffers and I am just revisiting her work for the second time.
I truly wish you well on your quest - you are not alone and I can certainly identify with your feelings. Trust me - you're doing fine!
Affirmations are like a woman putting on makeup, she looks better (possibly) which temporarily makes her feel better but nothing has essentially changed. The reasons they don't make a difference and are so tiring is that they go so far and then reach your internal sub conscious blocks and that is where it all stops. Over years you could bring about change but who wants to wait that long? You need to clear out the blocks and barriers then real change takes place and permanently. How do I know? Been there, done that, years ago and never looked back. Healed my body, relationships and everything. Yes i now run sessions and workshops for others to do the same. long term therapy? no way, two days and its done. but now this is sounding like an advert for my workshops. The key is your subconscious, no need to revisit the past but do need to release what you are holding onto. It is sitting locked away, the right techniques will release it and it will probably suprise you by not being what you thought it might be. Louise Hays book is a great starting point now do the actual work with some guidance if you can.
I would be dubious of anyone claiming they can heal your issues in two days.
Try saying that to the abused child who has spent its formative years being abused.
I actually think this is damaging to say you can heal such deep issues in two days.
Those of us that have been dealing with the repercussions of our childhoods know how difficult it is to heal these core emotions, and you do us a dis-service to suggest it is that simple.
well this is what concerns me; it then becomes easy to say to someone practising all their affirmations who experiences further negativity, they still have other stuff to deal with. That way I start getting sceptical. I mean we are talking about someone who believes we can heal AIDS by virtue of affirmation! That's a huge claim. How do you work with that? And if the sufferer isn't cured of AIDS we can say they are still holding on to some negative pattern. Then it becomes circular logic. I can't prove or disprove what Louise Hays writes at all, nor is that a goal of mine. However the whole process is potentially unending and overwhelming. Especially when we further engage in negative thinking. So then you're right back to where you started. There must be a better methodology.
Affirmations are like a woman putting on makeup, she looks better (possibly) which temporarily makes her feel better but nothing has essentially changed. The reasons they don't make a difference and are so tiring is that they go so far and then reach your internal sub conscious blocks and that is where it all stops. Over years you could bring about change but who wants to wait that long? You need to clear out the blocks and barriers then real change takes place and permanently. How do I know? Been there, done that, years ago and never looked back. Healed my body, relationships and everything. Yes i now run sessions and workshops for others to do the same. long term therapy? no way, two days and its done. but now this is sounding like an advert for my workshops. The key is your subconscious, no need to revisit the past but do need to release what you are holding onto. It is sitting locked away, the right techniques will release it and it will probably suprise you by not being what you thought it might be. Louise Hays book is a great starting point now do the actual work with some guidance if you can.
There is some logic to what you say, but how do i achieve this? Isn't the point of the affirmation process that it does change your subconscious blocks by transmuting the negative beliefs into positive. That, at least as I understand it, is the point she is trying to make. Perhaps I have misunderstood.
I would be dubious of anyone claiming they can heal your issues in two days.
Try saying that to the abused child who has spent its formative years being abused.
I actually think this is damaging to say you can heal such deep issues in two days.
Those of us that have been dealing with the repercussions of our childhoods know how difficult it is to heal these core emotions, and you do us a dis-service to suggest it is that simple.
You might be right. Certainly that is what prevailing wisdom would suggest I think, but perhaps that wisdom is more a tyranny than anything else. Perhaps it is wrong. It sounds no different than the claims made by those who advocate EFT. Though i have no idea what the poster is suggesting or how i would achieve it.
Hello Bloke, I know just what you mean, if you do all those affirmation and things you have no day left for work, eating etc. I think that perhaps you would benefit from going to see an Emo Trance (Emotional Trnsformation) practitioner. Whilst you have trouble remembering exactly how you felt some 30 years ago, this would not be a major problem when having an emo trance session, if that didn't work for you then perhaps EFT (emotional freedom technique) would be a help.
Good luck anyway.
alt4me
Its not just that, it's really really tiring which of courses further leaves the mind open to negativity because it's just gettig exhausted standing guard for negative thoughts - no matter how relaed an approach Louise advocates. I tried eft, it worked once, but i can't get anything out of it since. I practised it on myself. I dont know anyone who does that or emotrance healing and i can't afford to pay either. Can emo trance be learned the way eft can? I can't find anywhere to suggest it can and I can't afford treatment.
well this is what concerns me; it then becomes easy to say to someone practising all their affirmations who experiences further negativity, they still have other stuff to deal with. That way I start getting sceptical. I mean we are talking about someone who believes we can heal AIDS by virtue of affirmation! That's a huge claim. How do you work with that? And if the sufferer isn't cured of AIDS we can say they are still holding on to some negative pattern. Then it becomes circular logic. I can't prove or disprove what Louise Hays writes at all, nor is that a goal of mine. However the whole process is potentially unending and overwhelming. Especially when we further engage in negative thinking. So then you're right back to where you started. There must be a better methodology.
I do feel that your right in your comments. I personally find that if I can turn all the negative in my life to the positive...then that gives me some faith that all that is bad that I've suffered has not been for no reason. It has had a purpose. Even if that purpose is for me to learn, grow and develop as a soul. There are many tales of people overcoming huge psychological problems of abuse and childhood trauma, and then using their experiences to help others in similar straits. A classical case of turning the negative into the positive.
The emotrance website isn't very helpful. It (eventually) links you to a pdf download purporting to tell you how to do it, but the book simply says that you can and for free without telling you how. Then it sends you back to the site to a book called Oceans of Energy which is not free. This sort of obfuscation doesn't really sell the idea to me even though the idea of simply focussing on the location of the energy disturbance (as i understand it) is more appealing than EFT.
I do feel that your right in your comments. I personally find that if I can turn all the negative in my life to the positive...then that gives me some faith that all that is bad that I've suffered has not been for no reason. It has had a purpose. Even if that purpose is for me to learn, grow and develop as a soul. There are many tales of people overcoming huge psychological problems of abuse and childhood trauma, and then using their experiences to help others in similar straits. A classical case of turning the negative into the positive.
I agree. but the problem is the 'if' - and no doubt entertaining that if is inviting more neativity, and so it goes on. Trrying to not think negatively and to affirm to the point where you don't think negatively is a huge task, especially when you have to function in the world. Maybe affirmations can manifest that function better (such as not having to worry where your next meal is coming from), but (and I'm not saying they can't) until then I'm just someone at home trying to work with the book. Perhaps it'd be different if Louise herself was my personal therapist, but that's not going to happen of course.
I agree. but the problem is the 'if' - and no doubt entertaining that if is inviting more neativity, and so it goes on. Trrying to not think negatively and to affirm to the point where you don't think negatively is a huge task, especially when you have to function in the world. Maybe affirmations can manifest that function better (such as not having to worry where your next meal is coming from), but (and I'm not saying they can't) until then I'm just someone at home trying to work with the book. Perhaps it'd be different if Louise herself was my personal therapist, but that's not going to happen of course.
Working with affirmations is not easy. But like all things in life, it has to be worked at... and the more you work at it, the more successful you will be. I know that it's not easy when you do not know, as you say, where your next meal will come from. I know because I've been there. I realised very early on in my hardships that I needed to weather them with positivity, because negativity was destructive and brought me no solace and blocked any progress.
Working with affirmations is not easy. But like all things in life, it has to be worked at... and the more you work at it, the more successful you will be. I know that it's not easy when you do not know, as you say, where your next meal will come from. I know because I've been there. I realised very early on in my hardships that I needed to weather them with positivity, because negativity was destructive and brought me no solace and blocked any progress.
The specific problems are: a lack of a single or fewer affirmations (unlike a meditation mantra). So many problems = so many affirmations to work on. Where do you start? How do you fit it in during the day? the view that negative thoughts set you back - and considerably (it would seem). Whether or not this is true it doesn't help because who doesn't think negative thoughts that isn't practising this stuff?
Bloke. A word of advice. If the question of affirmations is causing you so much frustration and doubt, forget the whole thing.
Now, how about trying to get some help for free? Have a look for therapists (of any description) that you can reach and get on the phone. Ask if they will help you for free. If they say no, what have you lost?
Bloke. A word of advice. If the question of affirmations is causing you so much frustration and doubt, forget the whole thing.
Now, how about trying to get some help for free? Have a look for therapists (of any description) that you can reach and get on the phone. Ask if they will help you for free. If they say no, what have you lost?
how can i forget the question of affirmations? Do is just decide to dismiss the book as hokum? If it was that simple we probably wouldn't be having this conversation.
Bloke, relax!
You can't change a mindset overnight. You have to do it in small chunks. So, for example, what records do you play in your mind that are constant, or the most you find yourself doing?
For me it was worrying. I was always worrying about something, so I began using an affirmation to help me stop worrying. The affirmation brought to my attention just how much worrying I did, and in time, when I caught myself worrying, the affirmation would eventually kick in.
So, what I'm saying is, choose a few that counteract the biggest negative thougths you have, and work on saying those. So, every time you catch yourself in an old pattern, just repeat the affirmation.
Don't stress about it, just observe your thoughts.
What worked even better for me to heal the more ingrained patterns which were linked to core traumas, were of course flower essences. Some months ago, I took one for resentment issues, and within 5 weeks, the resentments just weren't there anymore.
I think what affirmations do is bring to your conscious awareness the negative patternings we continuously play around in our heads like a scratched record.
You can't fix them all at once, so choose the key areas.
I used the affirmation "Don't worry about a thing, coz every little thing is gonna be alright". This Bob Marley song worked a treat.
The specific problems are: a lack of a single or fewer affirmations (unlike a meditation mantra). So many problems = so many affirmations to work on. Where do you start? How do you fit it in during the day? the view that negative thoughts set you back - and considerably (it would seem). Whether or not this is true it doesn't help because who doesn't think negative thoughts that isn't practising this stuff?
You need to reserve 10 mins of your day to negative thinking. Do not allow it any more time than that. I find this works. I think about it...then go...OK, that's enough of you, now bugger off.
You need to differentiate between thinking negatively from time to time, as we all do, to thinking negatively all the time. If something is nagging away, then it's being destructive and needs working on.
You need to reserve 10 mins of your day to negative thinking. Do not allow it any more time than that. I find this works. I think about it...then go...OK, that's enough of you, now bugger off.
You need to differentiate between thinking negatively from time to time, as we all do, to thinking negatively all the time. If something is nagging away, then it's being destructive and needs working on.
How can you possibly accomplish that? To try and corral thinking in that way would surely have the exact opposite effect. Clearly you are much more disciplined than I.
Hey, I've had an idea! Bloke, since you seem to be doing all this thinking and worrying, whether negative or not, inside your head, how about getting out of the house and getting into nature every day. You haven't ever said exactly where you do live but you have implied that it is fairly isolated, in that there is no one around to whom you can turn for help. So may I suggest, quite seriously, that instead of turning within all the time, you turn outward for a change and go for a walk, minimum one hour every day. This is something that is positively best done alone. But only if you turn your perceptions on. Choose a circular route that's going to take in some attractive scenery or even just a park, and stroll along looking out for beautiful and unusual things as you go. Sharpen your awareness. REally look and notice things. Open your ears. Listen....Touch things if you want to, tree bark for example. Smell the air. And while you're doing all this, your thinking, worrying, negative brain will stop working for a bit. I would love you to post tomorrow and say that you have indeed taken this walk....But I also fear that you will instead post about why it's not possible for you to do so...
xxx
How can you possibly accomplish that? To try and corral thinking in that way would surely have the exact opposite effect. Clearly you are much more disciplined than I.
compartmentalising thoughts requires the same discipline as meditation. Like I said, it takes practice. So perhaps you need to start practising and being pro active rather than wondering how on earth it can all be accomplished. There's no miracle cure that comes via anywhere else but ourselves.
the hardest thing of all is getting into the swing of things. Once you pick up some momentum, it will get easier and easier.
Hey, I've had an idea! Bloke, since you seem to be doing all this thinking and worrying, whether negative or not, inside your head, how about getting out of the house and getting into nature every day. You haven't ever said exactly where you do live but you have implied that it is fairly isolated, in that there is no one around to whom you can turn for help. So may I suggest, quite seriously, that instead of turning within all the time, you turn outward for a change and go for a walk, minimum one hour every day. This is something that is positively best done alone. But only if you turn your perceptions on. Choose a circular route that's going to take in some attractive scenery or even just a park, and stroll along looking out for beautiful and unusual things as you go. Sharpen your awareness. REally look and notice things. Open your ears. Listen....Touch things if you want to, tree bark for example. Smell the air. And while you're doing all this, your thinking, worrying, negative brain will stop working for a bit. I would love you to post tomorrow and say that you have indeed taken this walk....But I also fear that you will instead post about why it's not possible for you to do so...
xxx
I do this anyway (weather permitting). This time of year saps my energy and enthusiasm at the best of times. Some things I can do, and I try them. Others I can't do; where I live I am not blessed with healers and therapists. What can I do then?
Keep calm and carry on!
Sorry, don't mean to sound flippant but if there's nothing to be done, then you will do nothing. But please listen to what we're all telling you: change has begun for you but sometimes things move slowly. If you don't like this time of year maybe you suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) about which I don't actually know very much but I'm sure you can find out about it on Google, or you may already know of it. If I may say so, bloke, you sound pretty lucid and intelligent. Maybe there's a case for wrapping up as warm as you can and hibernating for the winter. Oh dear, we'd all love to be able to help you but it's like coming up against a wall. I guess that's how you're feeling too. Is there anything you enjoy doing? Do you read? Watch TV? Draw? Paint? Write poetry? Photography? Have you spent any time reading through other people's threads here on HP? It may be of benefit for you to read of other people's troubles and realise that you are not the only one struggling right now...Good luck.
Keep calm and carry on!
Sorry, don't mean to sound flippant but if there's nothing to be done, then you will do nothing. But please listen to what we're all telling you: change has begun for you but sometimes things move slowly. If you don't like this time of year maybe you suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) about which I don't actually know very much but I'm sure you can find out about it on Google, or you may already know of it. If I may say so, bloke, you sound pretty lucid and intelligent. Maybe there's a case for wrapping up as warm as you can and hibernating for the winter. Oh dear, we'd all love to be able to help you but it's like coming up against a wall. I guess that's how you're feeling too. Is there anything you enjoy doing? Do you read? Watch TV? Draw? Paint? Write poetry? Photography? Have you spent any time reading through other people's threads here on HP? It may be of benefit for you to read of other people's troubles and realise that you are not the only one struggling right now...Good luck.
I appreciate the help and I know there are other people here with problems. State of the world right now. Coping with the modern workaday world is something i've found immeasurably difficult. I've often thought I do suffer from SAD, but the only treatment seems to be one of those artifical uv lamps and they are not cheap! I find it hard to maintain other interests right now because of my anxiety. I just can't do it. I spend my time trying to sort myself out. I have no one to talk to at all; haven't done for years. There are no support groups or interest groups around here.
I have no one to talk to at all; haven't done for years.
Well, you do now!
You're now part of the HP family and we look forward to reading your comments on other posts and getting to know you across the boards. You may even find your anxiety lessens as you place your attention more outside yourself. This is a safe place to be.