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Very depressed and I no longer want to live as I feel sick!

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TheBattle2009
Posts: 42
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(@thebattle2009)
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Joined: 16 years ago

Good afternoon all hope you are getting through the day okay.

I am highly dissatisfied with the way Council Housing Services run things when it comes to their rented council properties as they do not have zero tolerance to harassment! as I personally have been harassed for 1 year and 5 months in supported housing by my neighbours, just because they did not like my acceptable noises from: 01/09/2015 to 12/01/2018. From: 18th March 2018 on the second day of settling into my new council flat in another location as the council gave me a transfer, I have been met with yet again more harassment just because my neighbours who live below me.

Do not like me walking across my wooden slatted flooring acceptably as occasionally makes a clonking and creaking noise, but the Housing Officer who showed me around the flat assured me that that was acceptable noise and I could even leave the wooden slatted flooring uncovered. They do not like me having a shave in my bathroom from: 9:00am in the morning and also they do not like me preparing my bathroom to be decorated by making acceptable less than workman like noises, therefore harass me by slamming their doors extremely, tremendously loudly 19+ times almost 24/7 per day which sounds like a bomb going off!

Knocked extremely, tremendously loudly on their lounge ceiling 6x just because I was walking across my wooden slatted flooring and 6x on their either their bathroom ceiling or bath panel just because I was having a shave from: 9:00am. Recently they have been verbally harassing me by shouting abuse and as soon as I go to the toilet by closing my bathroom door, putting the toilet seat down respectively throughout those 7 minutes I am met by 5x tremendously loud bangs on the bath, bath panel.

Radiator, bathroom windowsill, on the radiator and even 5x slamming the toilet cistern lid down as Ian’s partner gets so outraged! that I am using my bathroom by going to the toilet in, all this banging is repeated at least 7x throughout those 7 minutes! I am currently staying at my grandma’s again as the harassment is that bad! nothing would give me more pleasure than to settle down and live in a council property, so that I can continue with my photography and animal care hobby and actually get a girlfriend!!!!!

Because I had to put a stop to that due to not only threats from my neighbours saying they would love to kill me in their flats but threats of more harassment towards me to stop me from living my life! I feel so depressed and sick that my neighbour harassers are stopping me from living a life, any life! Therefore making me feel like I no longer want to live as I am just being met with pure evil, sometimes I think why don’t I become the harasser/bully?

Knowing my luck if I did become a harasser/bully I would get caught as I am a terrible liar and I normally get found out even when telling white lies! most of the time it feels as though I am living in limbo, I do wish it was my fault that the neighbours below are harassing me. So the problem could be fixed a.s.a.p. so I could settle down, but at the end of the day I am not doing anything wrong at all which makes it even more frustrating! Why do bad things happen to good honest people? you will laugh I have been buying EuroMillions tickets when the jackpot gets to £30 million and pray to god that my wish would come true, as I would be setup for life and so would my family! I see that the Jackpot is: £67 Million this Tuesday (07/08/2018) coming wish me luck!

I look forward to your replies.

All the very best,

Oliver

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Principled
Posts: 3674
(@principled_1611052765)
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Joined: 21 years ago

Hello Colin,

The fact that you're having the same problems, despite moving, says something. Wooden floors are a big problem - even for the wealthy:

Did you put the wooden flooring down, or was it like that already? I have a flat in a Victorian building with creaky floorboards and my downstairs neighbour got upset (it had been empty for 2 years prior to this, so they had got used to silence.) As soon as I knew, I did what I could to lesson the noise, because I believe in loving my neighbours and doing to others what I would like them to do to me. I would not be happy knowing I was upsetting anyone.

I had the carpets (yes, not wooden flooring) lifted and thick soundproofing put down underneath, at considerable cost and this has helped a lot. Plus, I always take my shoes off when I'm in and try to walk with a light step, avoiding the places where I know the creaks are.

Could you ask the council to help you with the cost of some sort of sound insulation? Your downstairs neighbour is obviously being upset by your noise (whether the council man thinks it's "acceptable" or not.) Try to reach out in a kind and friendly way. Talk to them, invite them up to your flat to see that it's the floors that are the problem. Perhaps you could invite them to walk about while you stand underneath in their flat and experience what it's like?

We had a man above us for 6 months who had really heavy footsteps and quite frankly it made our lives a misery. However, a woman has now moved in and she has a light step. I went up and thanked her the other day, telling her what a relief it is to have her above as we don't get disturbed any more. Same floor, different footsteps. So consider that.

Probably not the reply you wanted.

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Principled
Posts: 3674
(@principled_1611052765)
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Oops, I apologise Oliver for calling you Colin - it must have been the heat and the fact I'd just sent an email to someone called Colin. But it's no excuse, I should have read it through and picked up on my mistake - a friend noticed it and told me and it's now too late to edit.

Warm wishes,

Judy

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TheBattle2009
Posts: 42
Topic starter
(@thebattle2009)
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Joined: 16 years ago

Dear Judy

Bless you please do not worry about it I have been called Leo (Leonardo) for short before as I supposedly looked like a Leonardo also I have been called allot worse than Colin, but I will leave that to your imagination Judy haha! Very true the heat has affected everyone because of us having a very, cold snowy winter, at least you have proved that we are all human as everyone makes mistakes typical isn’t it that friends normally pick out our mistakes.;-)

Not at all you have made some very valid points as I do understand what a pain wooden floorboards can be as I lived with my grandparents for 15 years in a 1960’s detached house, which only has wooden flooring upstairs and downstairs. Before we had carpeting fitted of course you could hear an occasional clonking noise and the occasional creaking floorboard when a person walked across the floorboards, even when the carpet was laid down as to this day you can still hear some floorboards creaking.

But we learnt to accept it because you could easily get obsessed with taking the carpet up again fixing another creaking floorboard and you will soon find 5 years has gone by and when you ask yourself have I been productive in those 5 years? Then suddenly you think to yourself all I have been doing really is trying to fix those creaking floorboards, especially during the Summer time as from personal experience this year none of my floorboards in my lounge creaked at all but then suddenly the floorboards became dry and some have started to creak.

When refurbishing my council flat the council did remove the previous carpet exposing the 1950’s wooden slatted flooring in both the lounge and bedroom but I did notice when moving in, that they had fixed a few creaking floorboards. I do agree with you as I have always treated people how I would like to be treated too because as you said there is no need to upset others at all.

I do plan on carpeting all of the flooring in the council flat apart from the kitchen and bathroom of course especially as the flooring is pure concreate, same here I have always taken off my shoes and just put slippers on instead also have avoided most of the creaky floorboards whilst walking across them. Unfortunately neither the Council nor I can afford the thick soundproofing which is put down underneath the carpet, as I am claiming benefits and the council who rents out the flat to me only gets 8% of the tax payers money here in the UK disgusting really isn’t it.

Moving from one flat to another are not related in anyway (as the council made sure about that) as the flat I was in had concreate flooring throughout, it was just my neighbour took a disliking to me closing my doors respectively, moving in my flat in general acceptably during the day and night. Did not like it when I had my family come over to visit me because she could hear us talking by standing on her sofa and pressing her ear up against her ceiling as we never talk loudly.

Pulling my light cord down in both my bathroom and bedroom during the day and once at night at: 11:30pm and she did not like it when I went into my bathroom to go to the toilet at 2:30am once in 1 month, just because I pulled down my light cord! What was funny now though was that she said her and her partner could do all of the above but slamming their doors instead 15x per day and singing karaoke incredibly, extremely, tremendously loudly twice per week from: 10:00pm-2:30am!

Which even disturbed the neighbours across the way from them but told mum and I they were too scared of confronting their neighbours about it, just in case she would become worse by singing karaoke 24/7! You saying that Judy I have tried to reach out in a kind and friendly way, to my new neighbours by talking to the chap who rents the flat below me on: 21st June.

Describing the position I am in at the moment and apologised for any inconvenienced caused and he actually complemented me on how quiet I have been, even when moving in my flat in general and preparing my bathroom to be decorated. As their previous neighbour who lived in my council flat was a complete nightmare as he was stone deaf and used a walking stick so kept banging his stick on the floor day and night, he also said it sounded like their neighbour was living in their flat!

This is what is making me feel sick and fearing for my life as when he talked to me in person he was complementary but inside their flat after 21st June his partner attacks me by harassing me and I have heard the chap telling his partner off several times as he shout talks even when talking on his phone, even saying “at the end of the day you are harassing him not the other way around as we both talked, him and I about what he is doing in his flat.”

That is why I just gave up hope and now staying at my grandma’s until hopefully the council give me a transfer after replying to my formal complaint, this time placing me into a detached property so no idiot neighbours can harass me as I seem to be cursed with selfish, two faced idiot neighbours. What makes me angrier is the fact that I am by nature a quiet person and enjoy the peace and quiet, both my family and friends have complimented me on that.

I even remember several times my grandparents knocked on my bedroom door asking me if I was okay? as they could not hear me moving around in my bedroom, which was above their lounge where they sit down most of the time during the day and night. If I knew my new neighbours were going to be so sensitive in general when it comes to noise I would have avoided that flat like the plague due to my previous experience as mentioned above.

All the very best,

Oliver

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Principled
Posts: 3674
(@principled_1611052765)
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Joined: 21 years ago

Hi Oliver,

I found your original post down the list and it certainly does sound as if the lady there had mental problems. I think you mentioned that she gave you a card with a barking dog? Do you/did you have a barking dog?

Think about this. Harassment isn't an entity that has the power to follow someone around! It is true though, that what we believe in, we bring into our experience. So try two things - forgiveness and gratitude. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves, which frees us from the self-imposed agony of resentment and hurt. It doesn't let the other person off the hook at all, but frees them to become the person we would like to see.

With gratitude, we can claim that we already have what we need. You already have the peace you need, the home you need, the supply you need, the harmony you need and so do your neighbours.

7.15 mins into this audio programme you could hear a dear friend of mine, Myrtle, describe how prayer and right spiritual identification of a murderer actually brought about a complete transformation in his character, as well as physical healing.
[url]Prayer resolving conflict[/url]

Myrtle mentions an article she found very helpful. If you'd like to read it, it's here:[url] LOVE YOUR ENEMIES[/url]

Hope that helps - forgiveness and gratitude will definitely help you be free of the depression.

Love and peace,

Judy

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Principled
Posts: 3674
(@principled_1611052765)
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PS I was reminded of this wonderful little testimony of a German soldier during WW1, who also mentions the article above:

With a grateful and happy heart I wish to testify to the wonderful manner in which God's love protected and guided me during the war and the help which I have received through Christian Science. As I was going to the front, this serious question confronted me: "What stand shall I take toward my opponent during the battle?" The answer was the simple statement: made by Mrs. Eddy in "Miscellaneous Writings" (p. 9): "'Love thine enemies' is identical with 'Thou hast no enemies.'" It became clear to me that if I had no enemies I would never be placed in a position where I would have to defend myself against them or be compelled to injure them. With this firm assurance I departed, not to the war, but to work in the vineyard of the Lord. And this assurance was not in vain, for, although I was in the front line and had to patrol far into enemy territory, I was never placed in the position where it was necessary to use weapons. Beliefs of sickness vanished almost immediately through the declaration of the truth. Poisoning from the strong French gas was harmless and left no after effects. None of my men, during the whole time they were under my command, were killed, wounded, or captured…
Oskar Seitz, Braunschweig, Germany.

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Posts: 429
(@zandalee)
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Joined: 8 years ago

PS I was reminded of this wonderful little testimony of a German soldier during WW1, who also mentions the article above:

Beautiful.

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