I won't bother with the intro, about my problems etc, because I have posted many a time and quite frankly i wouldn't be surprised if people were getting a bit frazzled with me and my situation. OK, here goes:
Recently I have felt pushed to move onto the next stage of my life- notice the way I write that- not recently I have pushed myself to move on, which is usually the way things happen. Anyway, I have felt ready to take a step forward, and after failing to correct my eating disorder(s) and start a new healthy diet about 3 times, I have tried again. This time it has been a sucess because I have planned everything out so I know what I'm eating when and what to cook, which means I won't get bored with eating the same old things. Considering I used to binge everyday, I have done very well, and have been doing it without a problem for a week. Once of sweet stuff especially chocolate my cravings totally disappeared and I've felt better for respecting my body. Where's the problem then? I binged today. Sigh.
I know it's not a case of failing, because every time things don't work out I can start over, applying the knowledge I've gained from last time. But the problem, and I mean the root of all my sh** stems from fulfillment. I feel an 'emptiness' in my life which is somehow getting confused with the physical sensation.
I know that there's something lying ahead of me,sometime in the near future that holds an exciting opportunity but somehow I still feel stuck. I can't trust my intuition and I am fearful that my life will always be empty.
Sorry, I don't think this reads coherently but I hope that some makes sense. I don't know what I want anyone to say, but I guess I just need the support, or at least that it's out there:D
Thanks guys;)
RE: two steps forward, 1 step back...
its here and lots of it .......the vad days will get fewer, dont dwell on it but on the week you had had....
T
xx
RE: two steps forward, 1 step back...
I just don't know what I'm 'meant' to do to make my life seem less empty....
RE: two steps forward, 1 step back...
Hi Azalia
Don't be so hard on yourself hunni. Each & everyone of us on here has been where you are just now in some way or another & mostly not just the once either. It's not a sign of failure its just a spiritual pit stop to re-tune your engines. I always tell people not to push themselves (yes read listen learn )love because what is ment to be ..will be. In these quieter moments take the time to meditate or go into deep relaxation , find & feel *you*. It is within these quiet *stuck* times that Spirit are working very hard behind the scenes & developing you maybe within your dreamstates & taking you else where for the teaching ,you will need in preperation for your next stage.;) . There are times,many of us feel like we have slipped back & that can make us wonder why ? Why has it happened what did I do wrong? why did spirit leave me.?They haven't forgotten you or left you....Remember the saying you loved so much
'We are not human beings having a spiritual experience but spiritual beings having a human experience '
well your eating disorders are a part of your human experience love. getting to the root cause of the eating disorder will help. not the feeling it leaves you... with but the reason for it's existance . On the mind therapies forum theres a thread about Transactional analysis which may be of some help to you.:)
The light is there hunni , it just seems a long way off .. I think of these times as my Autumn times.. When things are dying off readying themselves for re birth in the spring. Like the new blossems that flower year after year You have to go through the darker times to get back to the light. Embrace it it has much to teach you. Each year the flower just like you gets stronger & bigger for experience.
Spitit gave me a message a while back that covers this I will post it to you if you like? Just pm me
Love & Hugs Maria xxx
Ps This just came to me.. By pushing..... you sometimes stand in your own light.. Time to *step* aside & out of your own way & let spirit do their work 😉
RE: two steps forward, 1 step back...
Azalia,
I think I sort of know what your going through... email me if you want to have a chat.....
I'm sure I did chat with you breifly about it before.
Gail xxxxxxxxxxxx