If you meet someone you think is scary / intimidating or they talk to you in such a way that it makes you feel scared, upset or you feel pain in your heart - is it wise to overthrow this person and be horrible back to them ?
I wouldn't necessarily be nasty back but I would be interested to know how other people would react in such a situation.
If you meet someone you think is scary / intimidating or they talk to you in such a way that it makes you feel scared, upset or you feel pain in your heart - is it wise to overthrow this person and be horrible back to them ?
I wouldn't necessarily be nasty back but I would be interested to know how other people would react in such a situation.
We can perceive some people in that manner. Something about them, their appearance can induce dread, fear, un ease. Used to happen a lot, all kinds of feelings were induced and usually the reality played along those lines.
But that situation does not apply any more
there is no point in being horrible back, it will just start a merry go round of acrimonious vibe. Besides it is never just them, it is synergy of you and them together. It is never entirely about the other, it is also present within you already, just got stirred by their presence
Instead, feel deeply what you feel, it shifts.
Overtime, you may come to learn to breathe in and allow the nasty feeling as a mere happening in the consciousness, rather than theirs or yours per se. Then people stop being scary.
Until then, if a person is perceived to induce un-ease, if situation allows, you can gently distance yourself.
If I thought someone was scary then the last thing I would do would be to antagonise them. I am not easy to intimidate in the first place though since I am empowered.
Not being with that person and protecting yourself e.g. via a visualisation would be beneficial.
Fascinating. If other people pick up the sane thing around this person ?
I like the thought of antagonising them though so they know how it feels.
I like the thought of antagonising them though so they know how it feels.
Dangerous game though if they scare you! Stirring up a hornet's nest springs to mind.
Also this supposes that they are scaring you deliberately. The way you have phrased your OP implies that it is just your perception of them rather than how they really are. I would tread carefully here since you seem somewhat unclear.
Fascinating. If other people pick up the sane thing around this person ?
I like the thought of antagonising them though so they know how it feels.
If you feel solid enough inside, put them in their place, but do so only if you feel no shakey ness within. Especially as you imply that others have the same perception about them too.
Sometimes you got to call a spade a spade and that can happen effortlessly if there is clarity within.
Do what is most effortless for you.
Easy is right.
Or just work with you, as you stop feeling scary wobbles around them, they may disappear altogether....whichever scenario is dharma for you is something only you can know
In your 2nd post you are implying that others see the same thing. By this do you mean that this person is trying to scare and intimidate them also or that they witness this person doing it just to you?
I like the thought of antagonising them though so they know how it feels.
Your reaction to them is a direct result of your perception of them as scary. They will only feel antagonised if they perceive you as a threat. Is that how you want to be seen?
They are not antagonising you. You are allowing yourself to be antagonised by them....
No the other person said they were difficult as well.
This was their own personal experience.
I like the whole do what's easy 🙂
At the time I felt thrown off so yes I did feel shaky inside and lost my voice slightly. It went very meek and quiet which annoyed me but then it got stronger as I was processing what was happening.
Another person had a difficult experience so I'm guessing not just my perception.
The person did look afraid of me at one point with slight fear in the eyes and did the body language technique of making himself look smaller than me.
Then he started being really nice so possibly miss-communication ??
I understand that you feel wronged by this person. The question remains are they deliberately intimidating you (which would constitute bullying)? Someone else finding them difficult does not back up that this person is actually targeting you - do they agree with your perception of this person, i.e. that they are trying to scare/intimidate you?
If you have intuition then it would be invaluable to help steer you in the right direction now, i.e. to make the right choice.
The person did look afraid of me at one point with slight fear in the eyes and did the body language technique of making himself look smaller than me.
Then he started being really nice so possibly miss-communication ??
So now you are turning the tables and doing the same to him? Does that make you a better person? I think not!
Since you say that there was possible 'miscommunication', do you feel you got it wrong then? Much of the feedback here indicated that this could be the case, i.e. you might not be accurately perceiving the situation for what it was. It would have been prudent to make sure you got the situation right before you retaliated.
Ahhhhaaaaaa but I wasn't retaliating though. I didn't realise I was doing anything. I thought I was being my normal self and I just noticed that he started to look afraid with eyes widening. I was a bit shocked and confused actually.
I mentioned that I had an unusual experience with the person and the other person who had met him said he found it difficult too.
My intuition tells me that he's a slightly timid and scared person and has maybe been walked over before or intimidated by people. I'm not sure why but that's what I think. I may be wrong.
No the other person said they were difficult as well.
This was their own personal experience.
I am sure they did. And the person involved probably is difficult and scary..... But you are still ALLOWING yourself to be antagonised. A reaction which does no good at all....because it gives control to the other person.......
You say you want THEM to feel what it is like to be antagonised. Why? To teach them a lesson? Revenge? To convince yourself you are not weak? WHY you do something is as important as WHAT you do.
Well I didn't deliberately set out to antagonise them. That's the thing. I just acted like my normal self and noticed the person looked fearful a few times. Not intentional.
But because I felt emotional pain in some ways I think it would be good if the other person felt that same pain because then they would realise how they hurt and effect others.
It may not be deliberate on their part but there must be a problem somewhere ?