The terrain inside me described
“Keep out”
The fabric of external reality around me described
“Heaven sent”
Which one is?
Alpha
Omega
Two worlds beside
One that is fed up of being trapped inside
One that is free to reach out to life
Both are living on a knife
And then beyond the relinquished emotional tide
A salient realization is made
My inside & outside are poles apart
Yet both have access to a caring heart
My existence forges two unlikely halves
I’m no longer living a life in parts
I’m north, east, south & west
I’m knees, toes, head & chest
Forgive me now as I take a rest
This journey is sweeping me off my feet
and yet all the parts of me I get to keep!
Sorry if you were offended by my owning
my thread content.
Interest is fine, concern is not.
I would hate anyone to read this thread
without knowing I am responsible for
me.
Every verse is true
The verse is about the trauma
that permeates any of the
life I work hard to have.
I’m showing how those
who walk among us
could seem like they are
on top of the world
& yet could be further
to the edge than the
stereotyped visibly
down, depressed
& suicidal.
Take Robin Williams
for instance.
Your response is interesting
“I am relieved to learn your life
is not as bleak as your verse is.
This response demonstrates exactly how
everyone sees me face to face &
their relief that all sounds well,
It shows how blind one can be
to the whole content of this
thread & my inner landscape is still not
seen, heard, accepted.
And the reason I will never
tell my story.
If the damage can’t be seen
then how is anyone going to
believe what caused it.
It’s amazing how adaptation
& resilience to some extent
makes me far more vulnerable
& isolated.
This has helped me to understand
How washing up on the shore
would help.
Because then someone will see
the effects & why my lipstick
is so important because it’s
red tones will still be intact.
Thanks for passing through
& helping me explain how
some of us are Marilyn
Monroe.
Looking all singing & dancing.
And then a Wikipedia
August 4, 1962.
Mac
It’s hard to write empathically
to you when I am trying to
exert my truth, so Incase it
doesn’t sound friendly
my apologies
&
Thanks again
You appear prickly about what you term your thread content. Has that been an issue some time in the past? I wasn't offended by anything but I very much hope you didn't somehow gain that impression.
I'm sorry you were offended by my having concern but you can't proscribe it. My emotions are mine just as yours are yours. It's what make individuals individual....
You didn't need to say every verse is true. Had I implied they weren't?
It seemed likely to me, based on what you've been writing, that you're far from being on top of the world. I had already looked back to the early part of the thread for background and didn't see you as a stereotype anything. I hope you didn't think I did?
Your retort to my expression of relief that your life is not as bleak as your verse was snippy. I had 'spoken' with sincerity.
There was no need for you to write empathetically towards me but neither do I feel I gave you grounds to reject me. Is that what you mean when you said "exert your truth" - hurting others because you've been hurt?
You appear prickly about what you term your thread content & Is that what you mean when you said "exert your truth" - hurting others because you've been hurt?
Oh dear in an attempt to expose myself to an interested party, I seem to have walked straight into a backlash that I will end right here.
Nothing i am trying to say is coming across as I intend.
I would never hurt others because i’ve been hurt & find the suggestion highly offensive.
I think you’ve got caught up in the only place I can express myself & like the 24th March 2019 on my first thread. I will not contain myself here again.
I lasted 7 months here HP & it is fitting on this anniversary I call it a day.
Thank you Energlz for extending my space this long.
If only I could share what I face ahead of me.
But I have exposed too much here already.
“My clipped wings can’t fly but my consciousness can soar”
Doesn’t fit here either
So I will provide my parting comment
“As a trauma mortal that walks dead, I am humbled by what I never said. Alice “it’s impossible, Energlyz “Only if you think it is”
Love, light & reiki hugs x
I tried to meet with you on your terms but effectively you rejected my approach.
You had done nothing to 'expose' yourself to me but I had asked you nothing to encourage exposure anyway.
I wish for you only the best.
The difficulty with the written word is that we cannot express the intonations or emotions easily. People read the words and wrap it with their own pre-conceived understanding, almost imparting their own life view on it.
Survivors words will mean different things to different people, but mostly they mean something to herself.
Mac, you've done nothing wrong in enquiring about Survivor and what she writes. The words, just taken as verse, are often very powerful, yet they certainly have a deeper meaning than any of us here could possibly comprehend.
Survivor, I think Mac was just curious to know more about you, perhaps to try and understand what inspires your verse and whether you find it healing. You weren't offending Mac, and Mac was not intending any offence towards yourself.
HP provides you a platform for expression, and you have used it well.
All Love and Reiki Hugs
G.
The difficulty with the written word is that we cannot express the intonations or emotions easily. People read the words and wrap it with their own pre-conceived understanding, almost imparting their own life view on it.
Survivors words will mean different things to different people, but mostly they mean something to herself.
Mac, you've done nothing wrong in enquiring about Survivor and what she writes. The words, just taken as verse, are often very powerful, yet they certainly have a deeper meaning than any of us here could possibly comprehend.
Survivor, I think Mac was just curious to know more about you, perhaps to try and understand what inspires your verse and whether you find it healing. You weren't offending Mac, and Mac was not intending any offence towards yourself.
HP provides you a platform for expression, and you have used it well.
All Love and Reiki Hugs
G.
thanks, G - You've said it just as I intended it. I did appreciate some of why she wrote the way she wrote but was unconfident about how to respond. I had looked back to try to help me understand. I knew I was walking on egg-shells but sometimes we can not avoid that.
The written word is all we have when we use online forums and I try not to stray too far from what folk write. Sometimes those words conceal more than they reveal, either by intent or by accident. I wanted to see if I could better understand the depth of the very moving verse and maybe reach the person behind; I failed. It happens.....:(