How do I get out of my awful job...

I'm sure it's 50/50 like with everything on earth. Some people u click with, some you don't. Some people like you, some people don't. I have met some lovely people in offices but some real horrid ones too. Some definitely do have a stuck up, keeping up with the joneses, middle class mentality.
Any business does need it's administration & it's a very valuable part of it. Different companies - different energies I guess.
Nursing - very respectful career & brilliant personalities.

Nursing also is full of real people - i.e. some will be brilliant personalities and some (in various opinions) won't.

Yep 50/50. I may be being a little subjective & basing it on my own personal experiences but 2 office women I worked with once admitted they were part of the 'hard' crowd at school and made fun out of others.
That in my opinion represents the 'followers' of the crowd, with hive mentality, that have nothing special about them & will do anything to fit in.
Of course in the bigger world, it would be much different & full of a variety of personalities. The beauty of earth I guess.

Some people (nurses, office workers, any job and none) are damaged by previous experience. This is a reason to help them, possibly (if their damage is great and you cannot help) to avoid them rather than be damaged yourself. It's not a reason to dismiss them with "hive mentality" - which is not a human way of thinking, anyway.

I'm sure it's 50/50 like with everything on earth. Some people u click with, some you don't. Some people like you, some people don't. I have met some lovely people in offices but some real horrid ones too. Some definitely do have a stuck up, keeping up with the joneses, middle class mentality.
Any business does need it's administration & it's a very valuable part of it. Different companies - different energies I guess.
Nursing - very respectful career & brilliant personalities.

Hi Poppy,

One comes across some nice people and some nasty people in all walks of life. Not all nurses are 'angels', believe me. I have worked in offices all my life, except when I had to take a part time cleaning job when I was nursing my mum. That cleaning job was the best one I ever had and I have had some great bosses in the office environment too.

Patsy.

I totally agree. I've always thought u can tell if some1 has been hurt before as they have walls / defences up & try to put on a tough act - 'no one can get to me' kind of thing. I think this is quite visible.
Relaxed people who just act like themselves are the real deal.
I've tried to help before but I get dragged down into the nastiness, take it personally & then would rather just break free. It's a wonderful thing being able to stay emotionally detached. Anything else would be a boundary invasion.

Hi mouse16
I came back to the forum for further support as I am also going through a similar situation to you. I have just been let go from my recent temp office job whilst battling depression and not enjoying the job either.
Hope you are alright and feel free to PM me if you want to discuss your situation. I offer my full support and empathy.

Kind regards

Hi Ms Moomin,

Seeing this thread come back to life has tempted me out of my mousehole!

Have to smile reading back over what I've written, nothing has changed. I can only try to change my own thinking on the situation. My latest tactic is to try and disregard my thoughts on it, they are only thoughts after all.

Still, you never know what is around the corner, who knows where it will all end up?

You too, pm me if you fancy - happy to chat about our shared predicament...

Whatever situation we are in, we always have the power to change it. It's okay to take risks.
In our society we are conditioned to be scared about jacking in or losing jobs just in case we can't survive + for the 30k wage mortgagers 🙂 it becomes more difficult as no job = no mortgage. If they are in a bad situation it's not so easy to get out.
Taking risks not a bad thing, change sometimes good.
There is a lot of conditioned fear in society.

Do we really have the power though? It sounds good but in day to day life this is less black and white..... I agree there is a lot of conditioned fear in society but what if you are responsible for others? What if you know no one will look after you if you have no job?

Do you need looking after if you have no job? And how do you know that no one will?
Life is risky - but isn't risk better than fear and depression?

In practical terms I would need to pay my rent, bills, and buy food and clothes, that's what I mean by looking after. I do not know anyone with the means or inclination to do that! I've taken plenty of risks in my time but I am not totally impractical!

If you didn't have a job then you wouldn't be limited as to where you found accommodation.
A friend of a friend, in a similar situation - hating the job he's in, unhappy in the rat-race, has contacted us. He wants to be in Wales and work on the land - in the short term, at least. So that's what he's going to do. He'll pitch a tent in the wood and lend us a hand in the garden. We'll make sure he doesn't starve. Yes, it's a risk. But it's better than being unhappy.
Where do you want to be? What do you want to do?

If I didn't have a job where would I live? In a hostel? I have no family here, would some random person put me up? That's great for your friend, he is lucky that he knows you and that you are prepared to help. What would I do, ideally? I would spend most of the day experimenting with art and photography at home.

If I didn't have a job where would I live? In a hostel? I have no family here, would some random person put me up? That's great for your friend, he is lucky that he knows you and that you are prepared to help. What would I do, ideally? I would spend most of the day experimenting with art and photography at home.

He doesn't know me - he just knows someone who knows me. So yes, in his terms, that's pretty random.
Is the art and photography something that has to be done where you are (is that London, or have I misremembered?)? Could you go to where your family is?
Or are you getting more satisfaction from being depressed?
(That last wasn't an insult or a challenge. I've had clinical depression. But I know that waiting for something over which I had no control to change was the surest way to stay the same. We have to find the things we have control over and change those. )

Yes, it does need to be done here, for the present at least. I live with my partner in London. He needs to stay here as he is the only carer for an elderly parent and of course I wish to stay with him. My family live in New Zealand. The only thing I can change at the moment is my own thinking and I'm working on that. It seems to me that that is the most important thing to do. I keep an eye out for jobs and try to take things day by day. No, I don't get satisfaction from being depressed (!)

Yeah true. Once you have others like kids / family to look after it would make risk taking harder but still there's always light at the end of every tunnel & things happen for a reason. Better to focus on the positive than live in fear.

Wow. That sounds fantastic. Hats off to him - I think I might join him. Maybe only for a short while though. Can't live without my creature comforts. Talk about back to nature & living close to the land.

Come and join in.:)

Yeah true. Once you have others like kids / family to look after it would make risk taking harder but still there's always light at the end of every tunnel & things happen for a reason. Better to focus on the positive than live in fear.

Hi Poppy,

This is true of course, but sometimes one would be so surprised at one's resourcefulness when a person is thrust into that kind of situation. I have been made redundant three times, twice without any recompense at all and had to live on what I had. It wasn't as bad as I thought and I found work quite quickly.

Take a risk - it might be worth it.

Love,
Patsy.
xxxxx

Wow. That sounds fantastic. Hats off to him - I think I might join him. Maybe only for a short while though. Can't live without my creature comforts. Talk about back to nature & living close to the land.

Poppy,

Take up Crowan's invitation and go for it.You might be surprised at what you can achieve.

Love,
Patsy.
xxxx

Awwwww darling. Sorry to hear that my love. Companies don't give a monkeys. All it boils down to is profits at the end of the day - people are disposable & the bigger the company, the worse it gets. There's no soul at all. That's why I sometimes think why bend over backwards but then if you don't you are seen as bad / lazy.
I've lost 4 jobs but some were placements & their environments had awful energies in them. Was really bothered by it at the time but don't give a t*** now. If you weren't careful you got sucked up right into it.
See you are such a nice person you got snapped up right away 🙂

Yes, it does need to be done here, for the present at least. I live with my partner in London. He needs to stay here as he is the only carer for an elderly parent and of course I wish to stay with him. My family live in New Zealand. The only thing I can change at the moment is my own thinking and I'm working on that. It seems to me that that is the most important thing to do. I keep an eye out for jobs and try to take things day by day. No, I don't get satisfaction from being depressed (!)

Sometimes your thinking is the only thing you have any control over. Well done you for trying to change it.

Awwwww darling. Sorry to hear that my love. Companies don't give a monkeys. All it boils down to is profits at the end of the day - people are disposable & the bigger the company, the worse it gets. There's no soul at all. That's why I sometimes think why bend over backwards but then if you don't you are seen as bad / lazy.
I've lost 4 jobs but some were placements & their environments had awful energies in them. Was really bothered by it at the time but don't give a t*** now. If you weren't careful you got sucked up right into it.
See you are such a nice person you got snapped up right away 🙂

Thanks Poppy. xxxx

The first redundancy came about when the company moved some accounting functions to India. I was offered another job at a higher rate of pay but it was miles away and with a sick mum I couldn't go. The second time happened when the company folded and went into liquidation and the third time - they just said one afternoon: 'We don't need you any more' and got a temp in. My then manager resigned over it. However, they did me a favour as my mum was becoming more and more confused with the Alzheimers so I stayed home to look after her, taking a part time cleaning job. When she died I went back to accountancy full time.

love,
Patsy.
xxxxx

When you look at the bigger picture - these are circumstances that you realistically don't have any control over.
With you mum's situation it all worked out better for you in the end. Things happen for a reason.
I've learnt it's better to ride with the tides as this world is ever changing & not get too hung up on it.
I used to take things very personally - then I thought why waste the energy - just move on.
One job I had they sacked pretty much every member of our staff one after the other as if no one was good enough. Every few months. One woman was clever & handed her notice in and vanished b4 they had a chance to sack her which was brilliant. I don't know who the hell they thought they were either - very low paid wage. The boss thought he was clever screaming at every1.
All companies seem to think they are the second coming. Job advertisement - 'can-do attitude, pro-active, with a twist' (god I hate those words:) They fail to mention you will be working with people with mental health problems under a roof of bullying & racism. That accidently got missed out. Lol.
If those situations happened to me now I'd quite happily mouth off back - u get no respect if you just take it & stay quiet. These types of aggressive office people are not used to people putting them in their place. It would be entertainment enough just to see the 'fear of god' in their eyes. That usually quietens them 🙂
Maybe I'm being subjective but I'm entitled to a little whine every now & again as every1 else does.
At the end of it all - all you can do is laugh !!!

When you look at the bigger picture - these are circumstances that you realistically don't have any control over.
With you mum's situation it all worked out better for you in the end. Things happen for a reason.
I've learnt it's better to ride with the tides as this world is ever changing & not get too hung up on it.
I used to take things very personally - then I thought why waste the energy - just move on.
One job I had they sacked pretty much every member of our staff one after the other as if no one was good enough. Every few months. One woman was clever & handed her notice in and vanished b4 they had a chance to sack her which was brilliant. I don't know who the hell they thought they were either - very low paid wage. The boss thought he was clever screaming at every1.
All companies seem to think they are the second coming. Job advertisement - 'can-do attitude, pro-active, with a twist' (god I hate those words:) They fail to mention you will be working with people with mental health problems under a roof of bullying & racism. That accidently got missed out. Lol.
If those situations happened to me now I'd quite happily mouth off back - u get no respect if you just take it & stay quiet. These types of aggressive office people are not used to people putting them in their place. It would be entertainment enough just to see the 'fear of god' in their eyes. That usually quietens them 🙂
At the end of it all - all you can do is laugh !!!

You know Poppy, you are so right about these companies. Thankfully, I haven't come across many but one does stick in my mind. We had a bloke in who was meant to be a 'business rescuer' when the engineering company I worked for was in dire straits. He didn't like women, especially women who had some kind of authority (which I did - I was the FD.) Immediately he got there, he started pulling my work apart, trying to find fault. When he didn't find too many, he started giving me 'tasks' to do, such as going through pages of figures and accounting for each one. I had just finished this one afternoon when he came in. Seeing that I had finished it, he ranted' That's not what I asked you to do.' Now Poppy, I take an awful lot, and I knew that the employees' livelihoods depended on this idiot; I ignored him. Later, when everyone had left he said 'You aren't going home until this job is finished.' (It was some other bloody job he got me to do.) He then locked the door. I lost my temper big time and told him that if he did not open that door, I would be calling the police. He opened it, I left. I had a mighty row with him on the phone next day. After that, he sat in the MD's office. Needless to say, the idiot didn't do the company any good whatsoever and we all ended up at the labour exchange. Last thing I heard was that his business had folded and he was working at some other company. Couldn't even keep his own business afloat, that's how good HE was. Poppy, my feeling is, like this experience, these types who rant and rave, insult people and so on, can't do the bloody job themselves.

Love,
Patsy.
xxxxxx

I love it when people agree that I'm right 🙂 🙂 🙂
Darling, darling, darling I know exactly what u mean. I have met men like that - 'misogynist'. What a nasty piece of work. U handled it in very much the right way - threatening with police. I feel for you having to take a lot from others - maybe it's time for that to stop ??
I worked with a man like that - totally picked my work apart, threw insults at me to humiliate me & pulled me into a back room to scream at me. At the time I just rose above it & tried to ignore it. He obviously had a problem with me & he made loads of mistakes on the job himself. Other people commented on his behaviour so I knew it wasn't me.
As I was younger I found it upsetting, if it was now probably not so much, I would just think how pathetic. U have to be careful as sometimes these horrid types can make you think that you are the one that has the problem when it's them. They are scheming manipulators. Handy if you can see through it all. People that have to rant & rave are totally out of control & can't handle the situation. It's quite sad really. People that remain calm are the strong ones. U don't have to resort to these people's behaviour but you can rest in the fact that you know you're right unless proved otherwise. If they want to act like divs then it says more about them in the long run. I used to let it cross my boundaries & upset me but you can't. It has taken a long time but I'm getting there. For all of the 'stuck in the dark ages' men in the world like this there are some lovely, woman friendly ones that respect the
Divine power of the female & they are growing in numbers by the day 🙂
Good ways to handle these people tho - start behaving like they do & throw insults back -reflect their behaviour or do a little funky chicken dance then sit back down again 🙂
Remember - it's just a stage down here after all & we are all actors on it.

Unfortunately, I do know what you are talking about. I have been recently hired and since then I am suffering from working at that place. I do not even want to work there, but forced to and really have to stay. It has been always about the money, right… But then I’ve started realising that it was never about the money. It is about me being too weak to accept the reality, To accept the fact of how miserable I am. I cannot even do what I like. Leave the job, find another one no matter what and save your health for the better times