Help sought

What's most essential, don't give up, and have positive
outlook for what life is to bring to you!

How about joining a free skills swapping scheme ( i've forgotten what it's called, in essence you sign up for free, and trade skills or whatever you have for free). You never know, there may be someone who would like a few bass lessons in exchange for tai chi/emo trance etc.:)

It's
You don't actually have to do a swap/exchange, you can just ask for help that you need and it is assumed that if/when someone asks you to help you would do it if you can.

I personally had free use of a van when I moved house a few months ago, from one of the local justfortheloveofit members! I've never seen the man in my life and he simply gave me the keys and left the van with me for the weekend (and also gave me a bag of potatoes he had spare!) People are really very kind and generous.

Masha

A kind young computer whiz round the corner from me became my IT specialist. When I bought my new laptop he turned up with his external harddrive and transferred all my files, programmes etc from my old computer. I never did find anything to do for him in return. You know, the kind of people who join this sort of thing are usually really good people.

Another suggestion: keep a beady on the card ads placed in shops etc, as you might find something that's of use to you ie local support groups, coffee mornings 🙂

I always do.

I have joined the freeconomy website. Thanks for the link.

I have joined the freeconomy website.

Nice one. Now...?

Norbu

I wait to see if anyone responds.

I wait to see if anyone responds.

Fish don't normally jump out of the water into your bag all on their own. The very least you'll have to do is check your bait...

I sent a message. I'm not entirely sure what more I can actually do. I don't understand your metaphor in this context.

Go on, mr Bloke.
Keep up fight.

Hi Bloke

I have read through the many posts on this thread and the one thing that stands out is that you are not taking responsibility for your self.

Only you can decide how you think and feel, you might not be responsible for the way others have treated you at times in your life, but you are very much responsible for the way you choose to react to any situation.

It is all down to personal choices. You are where you are because you have made a personal choice to be there.

The place to start is by making a choice to own yourself and the situation you have put yourself in. Once you own yourself then you can decide what you like about yourself and your life and the things you do not like about yourself and your life.

You are then in a position where you can then make some more choices as to which things you would like to change and which things to get rid of and which new things you would like to embrace within your life.

It is again all down to personal choices, what do you choose to do now???

I don't know what you mean by own yourself. What is it you think I'm not doing? I've put messages and searched for healing/help type opportunities (look at the tai chi forum) and taken various advice where possible. Like anyone, some things I can do, others I can't. For example, someone suggest inner child therapy: where would I find that having looked and found nothing.

I just put 'therapists, north somerset' into google and got 136,000 sites. On the right hand side there's a whole page full of counsellors. I also spotted a yoga site:
and have a feeling that doing something physical like yoga would be very beneficial to you. Do you know what it means if I say you need to get out of your head and into your body and especially into your heart?

I sent a message. I'm not entirely sure what more I can actually do. I don't understand your metaphor in this context.

Hi Bloke,

You can fish in the bath all day with the freshest juiciest bait and you won't catch anything. You can fish in a pond full of fish with a bare hook and you won't catch anything. You can even fish in a pond full of fish with the wrong bait and you won't catch anything. You can fish in a pond full of fish, with the nicest tastiest fresh bait and be fishing too deep. You may even be fishing too shallow. And the fish may be up the other end of the pond.

There are fish out there, I can tell you that. My son has recently finished college and like many graduates was out of work. He was getting off the train and helped a chinese family with their baggage. He then went to the tube station and caught a train to his destination. When he got off the same Chinese family got off the train at the same station. He got talking to them and exchanged email addresses with the father of the family. The outcome is that he has been offered a job as a designer in Shanghai in a big toy factory.

He studied architecture by the way and even has to resubmit a project to even get a degree, which he will get next year if he manages to get this piece of work resubmitted and passes it. He's trying to get that sorted out now.

I told him a couple of moths back: "It doesn't matter what you do, or if you do nothing at all. The only thing that matters is you find a way of enjoying whatever you are doing. Ask yourself what it is you want to do. What is it that makes you happy? Find a way of doing that."

He said he really enjoyed his photography. He was lucky enough be able to borrow some money from me to buy a good camera. He has done a little photography and he clearly wants to do more but he didn't even get much of a chance to do that before this opportunity came along.

Now you have got the encouragement of quite a few people here on hp. All they are saying boils down to the same thing as I was saying to my son. "Get on with it... have some faith... don't dwell on the negative side of things... find the smallest thing and do it with joy... take one step at a time... stop thinking about yourself all the time... think: "What can I give?" "What makes me happy?" Find a way of doing it!

Good luck!

Norbu

Find a way of doing it!

That's the trick. That's what I'm trying to do with affirmation and so forth.

That's the trick. That's what I'm trying to do with affirmation and so forth.

Nice one! Keep it up...

For example, someone suggest inner child therapy: where would I find that having looked and found nothing.

Hi Martin, Try putting Transactional Analysis in the search engine or like I said put 'Inner Child' healing in the search box on here, someone began a thread not too long ago and many people contributed. Two good books on the issue are I'm ok Your Ok and The Games People Play by Eric Berne, both are available at the library as are books by Dr. Charles Whitfield and Penny Parks both leading experts on Inner Child healing.

Love

Rebecca x

I don't know what you mean by own yourself.

Please ask yourself two questions.
1) how do I feel right now?
2) why am I allowing myself to feel like this?

I forgot about this link , I know mind also has drop in centres, which would be good for you to meet up with people if there is one near to you- just type in your postcode 🙂

Please ask yourself two questions.
1) how do I feel right now?
2) why am I allowing myself to feel like this?

i am not consciously aware i am allowing myself to feel anxious and stressed at all.

if these feelings are caused by energy blocks/disruptions (as per the eft model) then i don't understand how i would have allowed that to happen, consciously or otherwise.

Hi Bloke

Energy blockages, feeling bad about yourself as well as a myriad of physical manifestations are all being manifest to bring your inner conflicts to light so you can deal with them.

Inner conflicts are beliefs in two opposing thoughts or beliefs, the problem is it is your own subconscious mind which is throwing a spanner in the works, now although you might not have been aware of this before, you are now.

So the first step is for you acknowledge and take responsibility for the problems which you have personally created, then once you own them, you can start to resolved them.

I don't understand how I have created these problems. Thus it is difficult to take ownership of them. Why would anyone (specifically me I suppose) choose to manifest energy blockages? Thanks.

Hi Bloke and others,

I don't understand how I have created these problems. Thus it is difficult to take ownership of them. Why would anyone (specifically me I suppose) choose to manifest energy blockages? Thanks.

Brilliant!

I don't understand how I have created these problems.

No-one can!

Thus it is difficult to take ownership of them.

Of course!

Why would anyone (specifically me I suppose) choose to manifest energy blockages?

You'd be a fool to!

The trouble is, we are all blind, ignorant fools!

Norbu

I don't understand how I have created these problems. Thus it is difficult to take ownership of them. Why would anyone (specifically me I suppose) choose to manifest energy blockages? Thanks.

This is why you are not getting anywhere, you can not perceive that you are the person who has created the problems you are having, until you take full responsibility and own your problems then they are not your problems so you do not have to fix them, they are someone else's problems.

This is making you look outward for the answers to your problems instead of looking inward where your answers are shouting at you.

I know it is a difficult concept to take on board, but it does work, you do not have to get on a downer about who is to blame as blame is irrelevant, it is acceptance without judgement which is required and through the acceptance you will find enlightenment 😉

To create an inner conflict is very easy, let us say you have been told that you will never be good enough to learn to drive a car.

You now have a choice here, you can say to yourself that they are wrong and you are not only good enough to learn to drive and you will learn. Or you listen to what they say each time but not reject it, in this instance your subconscious mind accepts this as true.

Now every time someone suggest that it is a good idea for you to learn to drive, you have an inner conflict, your conscious mind is trying to evaluate the possibilities whilst your subconscious mind is emphatic that you are not good enough to learn to drive a car.

So you did not knowingly put the negative thought patterns there which are causing the inner conflict, but they are an intricate part of you, if you do not accept responsibility for the negative information within your consciousness, then the information is not yours to change.

I hope that explains it for you 🙂

I don't understand how I have created these problems. Thus it is difficult to take ownership of them. Why would anyone (specifically me I suppose) choose to manifest energy blockages? Thanks.

Of course we wouldn't want to sabotage ourselves, everyone wants health, happiness, connection, love... And yet most of us have internal conflicts and self-sabotaging tendencies (with very few exceptions - in fact I am struggling to think of any - maybe Dalai Llama - and, perhaps, Father Christmas!)
This is because there is no such thing as perfect parenting and no parent or carer can satisfy all of the child's emotional needs at all times, or keep him/her protected from every potentially scary or disturbing experiences, and most children get many conflicting messages about how they should/shouldn't be and behave, throughout their childhood.

So when we grow up we end up doing things in order to please others, or to keep safe from some perceived danger, or to appear strong and competent, or to cover up our feelings of inadequacy, etc etc - all instead of following our heart and doing what we really want to do. No wonder we sabotage ourselves!

It is part of normal human experience, Bloke, and you are certainly not alone in it.

Masha

...blame is irrelevant, it is acceptance without judgement which is required and through the acceptance you will find enlightenment.

It's our nature: unsatisfactory experience; the cause is of our suffereing; the fact that removing the cause removes the unsatisfactory aspects of our experience; and the means for removing these causes of unsatisfactory experience. The same is true for all.

Yes the means are becoming aware of the processes of our experience. Insight into the way we relate to them and a non-judgmental acceptance of our predicament. Then add curiosity and gentleness. Or compassion and loving-kindness and the knots of the habits which cause us pain can unravel... over time...

So we are all the same. So realising that we all suffer in the same way is a good way to learn compassion and kindness for another and so learn compassion and kindness for ourselves. And, in time we must find these feelings for even those who have hurt us. This is because, deep inside, we don't know the difference between ourselves and another. The heart just feels the pain of judgement; it doesn't matter at whom it is directed.

Norbu

Hi Norbu

Yes we have to learn to love and accept ourselves in order to develop.

It is a shame we are not taught how to think properly when we are young, but then again, if we were then we would not have received the experiences we have had and knowledge without experience is rather shallow 😉

I wasn't being rude. I was just saying it the way I see it.

All you have done so far is give negative feedback on every suggestion that people have made to you....IMO

When I lived in the woods in a tent....I didn't bang on about how hard done by I was. I lived there because I wanted too. When I needed to get to a destination I put my thumb out for a lift or walked..

I asked for help or begged when needed.

If I were you I would stop acting so hard done by and find solutions to my problems.

Have a good day.

I have to agree with Oak here. I too have suffered hard times, and just got on with it, quite frankly. I had too. And it made me a stronger person, but in fairness, we all have different ways of coping, and different levels of being able to cope. I'm a strong person, emotionally at least. I tend to just take stuff on the chin and get on with it and deal with it. Being consistently negative is not on the agenda...that way lies madness.

I do find that one of our hardest spiritual lessons is to realise that often, we receive what we give out. If we give out negativity, we get it back. If we give out chip on the shoulder energy, we get it back. If we give out anger, we get it back... .and so on and so forth.

We can spend our entire lives blaming others for the way our lives turn out, in feeling sorry for ourselves, in bemoaning our lot in life, for hanging onto the past and not letting go of old hurts and betrayals. But to do this is to hang, in terrible spiritual and emotional stasis, in a dark place where nothing ever feels right or upward moving. Only we can break those chains. Nobody can do it for us.

Bloke, you have been given a lot of love and encouragement, sympathy and good advice on here...so perhaps start to open up to this rather than keep pushing it away and staying in a negative mindset. We are all on here to help...each other.

There's just a complete and total dearth of any kind of spiritual/healing opportunities/community locally (apart from some acupuncture i can't afford). I've tried to find chi kung and nothing. Even the local libraries are poorly stocked (although books make a poor substitute at best) as most of the stuff in these areas they do get in just get stolen!

You need to work on this 'internally' and not keep looking for external solutions. You obviously have access to the internet, so why do you need a library? There is a plethora of info on here and other sites like it. Meditation is free. Sit and meditate and ask your guides for help. It will cost you nothing to do this. It's how we all work.

See your spiritual situation like this.... you are in a foxhole, with enemy fire all around and a busted radio. What do you do? Keep ducking into the hole, or make a run for it? Nobody else is going to lend you their radio...because all other radio's must be mended and tuned in by each of us individually. We are all in our foxholes to some degree... and we can point each other in the right direction...but at the end of the day, you have negotiate your way ahead on your own legs.

Life is rarely easy for any of us.

I play the bass guitar and wrote some music when I had the software for it. The link is dead which is why I removed it from the signature.

Being a musician is being creative... how wonderful is that. I wish I could create music and always admire those who can. Music raises the vibration, as does singing. Do you find that being creative with your music makes you feel better inside? Even if just for a short time? How about sharing that music with others?

I'm a dancer. I used to work at nursing homes for free to share that dance and to hone my skills. That was many years ago. The old folks loved it. They loved the music, the movement, the colours of my costumes. How about doing something like that for starters? Or teaching what you know on a voluntary basis somewhere, is that not feasible for you?