Help sought

That's just brilliant, Bloke - keep at it, as much as you can, following your thoughts and tapping away - don't forget to rate the problem before you start each new topic so you know when you have dealt with it. Also you can tap along with the videos and often things change for no apparent reason while doing it. things just dont seem to be such a problem any more!!

well done - and keep on doing it!!

tried eft, from that pdf, it seems to do something. this is incredible!

That's great to hear Bloke, keep tapping, it should make a difference! If you get stuck with anything, there are a few EFT experts round here on HP who, I am sure, would be happy to advise on how to make it more effective.

Masha

I felt better yesterday, but come the evening i became very tired. Didn't sleep much last night. I felt intense explosion of colour as a nightmare (felt like one). What's that all about? I wonder if the eft process is temporary. I don't know.

Releasing emotional energy will make you tired, healing can be a tiring process.

That's just brilliant, Bloke - keep at it, as much as you can, following your thoughts and tapping away - don't forget to rate the problem before you start each new topic so you know when you have dealt with it. Also you can tap along with the videos and often things change for no apparent reason while doing it. things just dont seem to be such a problem any more!!

well done - and keep on doing it!!

what do you mean by rating the problem? where do i find videos, i just downloaded the pdf manual.

what do you mean by rating the problem? where do i find videos, i just downloaded the pdf manual.

Rating the problem means - on the scale from 0 to 10, how intensely do you feel the emotion (or pain, physical sensation etc) in that moment? 0 is none, 10 is the most intense. If you are not sure of the rating - just guess, see what number comes to mind. It is a subjective rating so you don't need to try to be precise with this.

Tiredness/fatigue is really common after EFT so give youself some rest. The results last once the core issues have been cleared - these may take some time to identify and work on, so I suggest you persevere and use it every day.

In terms of videos - there are some great ones you can buy on Gary Craig's website, but there are some free introductory videos on YouTube - of various quality, but should give you some ideas. Gary Craig allows people to copy his DVDs 100 times and give away for free, so perhaps someone may be able to do that for you - I'll see if I can dig mine out.

Masha

i fear the benefit has gone. now i just feel utterly tired.

Give yourself a break, there is no quick fix with healing. You can't expect to heal from your childhood in a day; utterly unrealistic. It takes time to heal from trauma.

If you are tired, sleep.

Be gentle with yourself.

Give yourself a break, there is no quick fix with healing. You can't expect to heal from your childhood in a day; utterly unrealistic. It takes time to heal from trauma.

If you are tired, sleep.

Be gentle with yourself.

I don't know what I expect really. I feel punch drunk, though it might seem reasonable to say it takes time that seems contradictory to the ethos of eft which seems to suggest that it, well, doesn't. The process of tapping is not long at all. Also is there any method to the choice of areas you tap? It would seem to suggest acupressure or acupuncture but i am no student of meridians or such methods.

I don't know what I expect really. I feel punch drunk, though it might seem reasonable to say it takes time that seems contradictory to the ethos of eft which seems to suggest that it, well, doesn't. The process of tapping is not long at all. Also is there any method to the choice of areas you tap? It would seem to suggest acupressure or acupuncture but i am no student of meridians or such methods.

It can appear with many systems of healing that it is a quick fix; when the reality is somewhat different.

Now, of course it depends on what you are trying to heal, but some childhood trauma is deeper than a few sessions tapping away and hey presto you are healed.

Imagine an onion, with many layers - that is more like the reality with deep levels of trauma and abuse (not implying there was abuse with yourself).

Also, I have learnt with healing that when you take something out, you have to put something back in. For example, you can take out the emotional energy or charge of feeling unloved, but what do you replace it with?

Again, it depends on the level of healing.

then we are back to square one and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to replace it with or how?

Bloke, EFT is not a quick fix even though sometimes it may be presented as such - in my opinion, after studing and using many different therapies and self-help approaches over the years, there isn't such a thing as a quick fix - that is, something that is a quick fix for everyone at all times for any issue. What EFT does tend to be is a quicker, gentler and more accessible approach than many other therapies (and for some people, some issues, and at certain times, it can work astonishingly rapidly - but that will not apply in all cases - much of the time, the complete resolution will require patience and regular application over time).

So I would suggest you persevere with EFT. Yes you will be tired after using it. You may feel emotion intensifying. But compared to the suffering that people endure (and I am guessing, you have endured more than your fare share) over years of struggling with unresolved emotional issues, the temporary discomfort and fatigue are relatively insignificant, considering the benefit we can get from gradually releasing the blocked emotions.

Masha

then we are back to square one and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to replace it with or how?

Hi again

I'm sure you are not back to square one. What has happened is that you have dealt with some superficial issues and deeper ones are welling up. These are 'new' issues that need dealing with. You will feel tired and sleepy - that's not unexpected - but think carefully, are the feelings you have now exactly the same as the ones you had before you started doing EFT? If they are, then that issue has not been dealt with, and more work is needed on it - remember you need to work on specific details. If you have different issues then these are the next ones to work on.

I find it imperative to write it all down as you go along - this means that the thoughts that you had initially can be revisited and you can reassess how you feel about them from your 'new' perspective. Often that specific problem is no longer an issue/problem. It is also helpful to finish a session with the fact that ... is now 'no longer an issue, and I am comfortable with that' or words to that effect.

Please read reports from therapists on the - 207 reports on dealing with childhood abuse - you can use your own words in the search engine for more specific choices for you.

Well done for starting to deal with these problems - it is vital to get them sorted to avoid them causing further damage to your life. It won't be a smooth path, but as the 'bricks' that make up your 'walls' are gradually demolished, then your perspective will expand - there will be times when the topmost bricks are dealt with individually, but occasionally one of the bottom ones will go toppling a whole heap above it - and that feels great!

So rest well, read about it from others, and keep at it!! :):):)

Hi Bloke,

Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) is evidence based. It is part of a "third wave" of behaviourist therapies in clinincal psychology. It's use is being developed for PTSD. The evidence base for depression is strong and this evidence base is building for the benefits of mindfulness in other psychological conditions including PTSD .

Probably the best place to start would be to get the bestselling book, "The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness" by Williams, Teasedale, Segal and Kabat-Zinn. It aslo has a cd of guided mindfulness practices. This book is a best seller which makes MBCT for depression widely accessible and is an excellent mindfulness meditation guide for anyone. There isn't anything out there yet that is specifically on MBCT for PTSD outside of academic or clinical publications but I don't think it will be long (There is a chapter on in the "Clinical Handbook of Mindfulness" edited by Didonna, but this is an expensive book and it is not really a users' guide unlike "The Mindful Way through Depression").

If this interests you I'm very happy to answer more questions.

Norbu

I'm beginning to wonder if this stuff, the actual technique aside, shouldn't be done without proper supervision, in that someone who knows what they are doing can help direct the effort properly. Also does anyone here use affirmations? I've been reading You Can Heal Your Life (by Louise L Hay) and have wondered how to deal with feelings of insecurity and self doubt regarding affirmations and change. I start to question myself by thinking the opposite to what I'm affirming while working on these things and worry that I'm only going to sabotage my efforts. As you can probably imagine, this then starts a vicious cycle.

Also does anyone here use affirmations? I've been reading You Can Heal Your Life (by Louise L Hay) and have wondered how to deal with feelings of insecurity and self doubt regarding affirmations and change. I start to question myself by thinking the opposite to what I'm affirming while working on these things and worry that I'm only going to sabotage my efforts. As you can probably imagine, this then starts a vicious cycle.

Keep on repeating the affirmations, even though you are still questioning yourself. The 'questioning' is the old programme being played out in your mind, what you are now doing is replacing the old programming with more positive statements, after a while you may even find that as you begin to doubt, the affirmationw ill automatically come into your mind and eventually the new thoughts will replace the old.

thank you for the support. A big part of my problem is that I am alone and stuck in life in a very scary world. That's how it's been for me. I have no one to talk to on a daily basis. I don't know how you eft that away. Maybe affirmations can change that, but that's a long process I imagine. Reprogramming a lifetime of thinking doesn't seem comparable to eft tapping, meanwhile I have to figure out what I'm going to live on etc (or will in a month or so). Last night I slept very very poorly. My heart pounding, waking every hour barely able to get back to sleep. All this further conditions my fears and insecurities.

Hi Bloke,

Just to get back to you on the question of doing things on your own. Yes you can. Having a bit of support is useful of course but there are many who don't get that and still find a way through. It's about sticking at it and not running away from your experience. In fact the pain that drives us to find healing is the way we can discover something very special about this experience of being alive - if we never had this pain we would never be driven to find the hidden jewel. It can take many years to move a little closer to freedom one step at a time. It can't be all fixed all at once. It takes practice whatever approach you take.

Mindfulness practice can be done on your own, you just need to have the self discipline to follow the instructions and listen to the cd of guided meditations. You can also do an online eight week course from Bangor university. This 8 week course is normally done by attending a two hour class once a week all this course does is teach you some techniques and start you on the road. It's about learning new ways of relating to your experience - learning to become more aware of our sense perceptions - becoming more aware of our feelings - and to find a way out of our thinking traps. its about learning to approach painful parts of our lives little by little and in a gentle and compassionate way. For it's the painful parts of our lives that we are running away from that drives us to into all sorts of coping and avoidance strategies that causes us problems.

In the end the single most important factor in healing is about learning self-compassion. This is innate within each of us. We just need to find ways of remembering or reconnecting with it - it is the hidden jewel.

Norbu

It's not just support in terms of healing, it's general human contact - specifically finding friends who are likewise interested. Not just teachers/guides.

When I was 16 I got to live in the attic of our house; a tiny freezing room totally unsuitable for a bedroom (and not well converted given the size). I wasn't locked in or something, but that was my only space in a completely dysfunctional household. That was my room for about 16 years.

There just isn't the community that I can find, and that is what I crave and would probably be of great help.

Hi Bloke,

Yes I think we all need human friendship and closeness. I guess it's something you have to find a way of working out yourself but here there is some sense of the company perhaps you are looking for. And at least an opportunity for you to think through what it is you need and to express it, which is a really good thing to do in itself.

But the thing is, thinking and acting and the things we need in our lives all seem to come together. Maybe you need to find some kind of group to get involved with. This could be a meditation group or maybe a church group. You have to start somewhere and find people. So it is a mental step you have to make to decide to take this action.

The trick is to look at our motives. One pattern in life that I've come to see in my experience is that craving doesn't bring us what we want. For sure we have to take a step at a time. No-one can be the friend that fills such a big gap. The only way to really make friends is to try to make steps to offer kindness to others. But we can't be expecting some kind of return for our gift. Funnily enough this also helps us begin to make friends with ourselves and as we make friends with ourselves others also become our friends. this is very much part of healing and I think you are spot on when you recognise that your healing is as much about your need for friendship as it is about the path to healing itself.

Wishing you well,

Norbu

I dont know what to do with eft now. nothing is really working as well as that one attempt the other day and i'm sleeping really really poorly.

Hi Bloke,

There ain't no quick fix! There are just steps in the right direction and while others can encourage and even sometimes support you, you're the one who has to take them.

Wishing you well,

Norbu

Oh dear bloke!
I can feel your frustration because it's obvious you feel you need fast results. And here you are, at the beginning of your journey, just setting out on your path...having to realise that as everyone here is saying, 'the longest journey begins with but a single step'. At least you've found some signposts now, but you've got a long way to go. As norbu says, there are no quick fixes. It's going to be a long slog, given the baggage you're carrying. But here on HP, and in your local book shop or library, or online or on TV, or in any one of a thousand ways, if you keep your ears and your eyes open, you will be shown along the way. And you will be helped to help yourself. Nothing that anyone can suggest to you is going to have an immediate effect. It's taken years for you to reach this point, it may well take years for you to get yourself out of what you now perceive as a hole. But along the way, you will become whole...possibly. But remember, none of us get out of this alive!
Wishing you well...(Just try and relax a bit and have patience.)

But remember, none of us get out of this alive!

Hi Sunanda,

I guess I think I know what you mean here but just want to make sure Bloke recognises that, while you are talking in a very real sense you are also talking in a metaphorical sense.

There is a sense of "self" that must die sooner or later. This sense of self that has a history of pain and injury and is the cause of suffering that we identify with as "me".

As we let this sense of self go and find a sense of self that sees our experience and life itself as a process of awakening, we find life is full of good things. It's a change in outlook that's all, but it can be painful letting go of all the things we think we are; we need courage and compassion to come to face the pain that we have buried deep inside to become whole again.

Norbu

I'm sorry, this was somewhat flippantly written and I should have taken more care. I don't mean to scare bloke nor to confuse him. My meaning was in fact just as it says on the tin....we go through life falling and failing, doing and doubting...and at the end of it all, we all, without exception, leave our bodies and go on to the next stage. I guess what I was trying to tell bloke was to try to relax a little. He has info coming at him from all directions now, it's probably a bit overwhelming. Let go and go with the flow, that's my message.

Hi Bloke,

There ain't no quick fix! There are just steps in the right direction and while others can encourage and even sometimes support you, you're the one who has to take them.

Wishing you well,

Norbu

it's not so much about a quick fix as making progress. I felt i had made some progress and now notsomuch. And isn't the point of eft that it is quick?

Believe me, bloke, you have made amazing progress. Trust me on this. It's always going to be two steps forward and one step back. It is for nearly everyone. Slow slow quick quick slow. Patience, friend....

Hi Bloke,

Just a little input if I may...

However I will say I am extremely sceptical of homeopathy given that it works with doses that are too dilute.

The "skeptics" who dismiss homeopathy use the "too dilute" scientific reasoning all the time. The point is they are basing it on a statistical number of molecules in the solution such that, statistically, there is very little chance of there being any molecule of the original substance in it. a) this doesn't mean that there isn't and b) there are particles that are smaller than molecules and there's a very high chance that at a sub-atomic level, there is still some energetic pattern of the original substance. I too was sceptical of homeopathy in the past, then I tried it (to prove the point really), but found it worked. Proof is in the pudding as they say. 😉

You must understand I don't have access to a lot of these alternatives where I live and the ones I have found charge more than I can possibly afford. I don't begrudge people earning a living - I just can't afford it.

There are some people who will offer treatment for free. If you lived near me (not sure where you live, but I feel it's not near) and you really couldn't afford to pay for the treatment, I would still be willing to help. Maybe there is someone near you who offers the same? Try phoning round and asking perhaps? The worst that can happen is they say no.

I've just read the EFT manual; rather the actual technique. Surely it's not as simple as this? Is it safe to try at home unsupervised?

Yes, it is that simple. As for safety that depends what you determine as safe. EFT can bring up deep rooted emotions, so as long as you are prepared for them coming up and determined that you will work at those issues too, then it's perfectly Safe.

tried eft, from that pdf, it seems to do something. this is incredible!

Yes it is.

I felt better yesterday, but come the evening i became very tired. Didn't sleep much last night. I felt intense explosion of colour as a nightmare (felt like one). What's that all about? I wonder if the eft process is temporary. I don't know.

Energy therapies can make us feel tired, especially the meridian techniques such as EFT. It comes from releases of energy in our meridian system. Ensure you drink plenty of water. The EFT process can sometimes seem temporary, but if you come across that then it usually means that all of the issue or the core of the real issue hasn't been fully tackled and cleared. It's also possible that if there is some external cause of the issue and that hasn't been dealt with then the issue can be re-created (it's no good healing a knife wound if someone keeps on stabbing you 😉 )

it's not so much about a quick fix as making progress. I felt i had made some progress and now notsomuch. And isn't the point of eft that it is quick?

It depends on the issue.
Some issues are made up of just a few things or have one clear core issue. e.g. I used to have a fear of spiders. I knew this fear was rooted in a nightmare I had as a child. I tapped with EFT on the feeling I got from thinking back to this nightmare, cleared it and the fear of spiders completely disappeared. That was 5 years ago and it's still clear. However, someone with, for example, depression, does not just have a single issue to clear. Depression is not just a single thing, but made up of lots of different issues and these will differ from person to person. To deal with something like this it's best to list everything that you feel is an issue that relates to it, prioritise them in terms of severity of emotions and then choose which ones you want to deal with first (sometimes people aren't comfortable with tapping on the most serious (and most likely the core) issues first, but of course you could tap on that).

Depending on the issue, you can feel something go quickly or maybe it may take several sessions. Sometimes the wording is just right and sometimes it needs refining. Often, if treated in the presence of a practitioner, the practitioner can pick up on things you say about your issues that you yourself don't realise and they can help you word your statements better. Even EFT practitioners can have difficulty treating themselves and prefer to work with other practitioners. hehe!

Stick with it, it can only help. 😉

All Love and Reiki Hugs

After reading about a process derived from EFT called PEAT, I'm wondering if EFT is worthwhile in that there seems to be good reasoning that it's effects cannot be permanent.

After reading about a process derived from EFT called PEAT, I'm wondering if EFT is worthwhile in that there seems to be good reasoning that it's effects cannot be permanent.

I've not heard of PEAT. What reasoning is it that says it's effects cannot be permanent. On my understanding of the principles of energy behind how EFT, FREEWAY-CER and other meridian therapies (such as accupuncture, accupressure etc.) work, there is no reason for them not to be permanent, if applied correctly.

All Love and Reiki Hugs