Has anyone had the experience of being left out or excluded at work? I'm wondering if anyone else is going through this? How does it feel to you? I am not rude, unpleasant, I haven't been promoted recently etc. etc. by the way. I am thinking that being at work is like being at school but without the friends! Yep, I am quiet and tend to just get on with things but being treated like a social outcast is not very nice. I'm wondering if it makes people feel better to have someone in the office that they treat like this.....
Being excluded is horrible and I am sure the feelings you experience are on a par with bullying. I think sometimes it can be a viscous circle with you "trying too hard" to be liked and that in itself, puts people off you. I don't really have any advice, except try and build your life outside work, so the exclusion in work doesn't feel as profound, but I can empathise as I have been in similar situations and rising above it is not always easy.
Being excluded is horrible and I am sure the feelings you experience are on a par with bullying. I think sometimes it can be a viscous circle with you "trying too hard" to be liked and that in itself, puts people off you. I don't really have any advice, except try and build your life outside work, so the exclusion in work doesn't feel as profound, but I can empathise as I have been in similar situations and rising above it is not always easy.
This is very true I think. People tend to dislike you when you try too hard. Sometimes though I can't help wondering why it is that people can be mistrustful and unfriendly just as a matter of course. I've had experiences where I've joined evening classes and groups and smiled, introduced myself, asked people how they find things etc. and been met with suspicion, basic unfriendliness and just the experience of feeling like I am stepping out of line.
There is much improvement here about being excluded. I don't know how it happend exactly. Sometimes one just observes the problem enough time and things change on their own. I started eating on my own and enjoying my self company and the opportunity to breath and being meditative while I'm eating, instead of just chatting uninteresting subjects with people that are not really my preferance. I care much less if they invite me or not. I don't have any desire to eat with them, and not concerned anymore if I'm being perceived as an outsider. As seperate persons they are fine, but as a group I hate the dynamics. I'm doing my work and don't take part in the social thingy. It's not very pleasant to observe their interaction and how I don't fit, but I'm functioning much better. The problem of fitting in probably will never be solved, as I don't have the best social skills, and unfortunately I don't feel unconditional love to every human being (as I have to dogs, and animals), but I feel free to work in the same place without intense suffering as I used to have.
This is very true I think. People tend to dislike you when you try too hard. Sometimes though I can't help wondering why it is that people can be mistrustful and unfriendly just as a matter of course. I've had experiences where I've joined evening classes and groups and smiled, introduced myself, asked people how they find things etc. and been met with suspicion, basic unfriendliness and just the experience of feeling like I am stepping out of line.
I never understood how interaction among people truly work and what are the rules, it's pretty complex. I guess people's friendliness vary, and we, as sensitive people take unfriendliness as personal. It's good to have our own circle of supportive friends.
There is much improvement here about being excluded. I don't know how it happend exactly. Sometimes one just observes the problem enough time and things change on their own. I started eating on my own and enjoying my self company and the opportunity to breath and being meditative while I'm eating, instead of just chatting uninteresting subjects with people that are not really my preferance. I care much less if they invite me or not. I don't have any desire to eat with them, and not concerned anymore if I'm being perceived as an outsider. As seperate persons they are fine, but as a group I hate the dynamics. I'm doing my work and don't take part in the social thingy. It's not very pleasant to observe their interaction and how I don't fit, but I'm functioning much better. The problem of fitting in probably will never be solved, as I don't have the best social skills, and unfortunately I don't feel unconditional love to every human being (as I have to dogs, and animals), but I feel free to work in the same place without intense suffering as I used to have.
That is good and have to say I can relate !. At the end of the day you can only ever work on your own reactions. I like what is said here:
It's not an easy things to do but I think it makes a lot of sense. I'd like to move more to this way...