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Posts: 83
Topic starter
(@merrydust)
Trusted Member
Joined: 19 years ago

I am wondering if im over reacting.

We have some concerns around my husbands job at the moment. we have discussed the situation and have plans in place if the worst comes to the worst.
we are a positive optomistic couple.we have a very close loving relationship and did have an active sex life.all this stopped about 2 months ago and I thougt it was just tiredness and stress.I have mentioned it and asked if he is tired and if eveything is ok.he assured me it was.
I woke the other morning and found him masterbating.He said he didnt want to wake me ! and also now know he has been using porn.
Im feeling very hurt and excluded. I asked him why and he said he has got lazy in our relationship and im hearing it as he has lost interest in me.

I dont know what to think or believe.why didnt he tell me how he was feeling ?

41 Replies
Posts: 83
Topic starter
(@merrydust)
Trusted Member
Joined: 19 years ago

Learning,from reading your post it seems you havent read what I have wrote.

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BayWhitaker
Posts: 116
(@baywhitaker)
Estimable Member
Joined: 15 years ago

Hi again Merrydust

I watched this thread with interest since it started back in September, and I wondered if you felt like re-stating where you are at with it, because the thing is with a topic like this, probably it pushes buttons with various people who have their own axes to grind (it did with me!), so although you get a lot of responses because people are interested, maybe the actual merrydust story, your experience right now, gets lost.

Anyway, I just wanted to see if there is any more you wanted to share, because it feels as if we may have drifted away from understanding what you are trying to tell or ask, and scrolling back through the thread (which I just did) shows the past, but not where you're at now.

Best wishes with everything.

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Posts: 117
(@lemonelemi)
Estimable Member
Joined: 15 years ago

My wife and have not had sex for 6 months. We are happily married and have been for 15 yrs. We have two teenage children. I have got used to the idea that she does not want sex although it did upset me at first. She constantly complains about being tired and I respect that. However, it is important for health reasons for a man to ejaculate at least twice a week. Not many women realise this and masturbation is how this is generally achieved. The, perhaps sad thing is, this can become a chore and porn is one way of helping to create the stimulation required. Having said that, it is not something my wife is keen to hear about.

I think the sex in relationship thing is a tricky subject and there are no right answers. I guess understanding between each other is key although I personally find this hard to talk about when I know she is likely to be unreceptive.

I had a friend who caught her hubby doing this and she complained about it. I asked her when they had last had sex...(it was May). She told me 'Just before Christmas...'.... erm....Hello?

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Fadette
Posts: 1010
(@fadette)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago

Merrydust,

nothing interesting to post today but wanted to give you my support. Like Bay said, we have just jumped on the debate of "porn" or "mens sexuality" and lost sight of your problem and I hope you re feeling a bit better. I think you re not overreacting and are not delluded. it s just a matter of finding out what are the problems, and how they affect you...easily said.

all my best wishes.

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Posts: 444
(@learning)
Reputable Member
Joined: 17 years ago

I had a friend who caught her hubby doing this and she complained about it. I asked her when they had last had sex...(it was May). She told me 'Just before Christmas...'.... erm....Hello?

Exactly. I dated a man who divorced his wife and one reason was that they hadn't had sex in the past three years and he didn't want to go the rest of his life without ever having sex again. He had asked her to see a doctor and agreed to go to counselling with her but she just wasn't interested. He tried porn, he even went to a prostitute but couldn't go through with it because he said he became so depressed and ashamed to find that at his age he had to buy sex that he left.

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Posts: 444
(@learning)
Reputable Member
Joined: 17 years ago

This says it all

Strangely, I have yet to date a man who admits to watching, never mind liking, internet porn! 😉

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Posts: 1489
(@supersub)
Noble Member
Joined: 20 years ago

Strangely, I have yet to date a man who admits to watching, never mind liking, internet porn! 😉

Exactly - which brings it back to what I said earlier about us all being brought up to regard sex as somehow "shameful". However enlightened we might become, it is still hard to admit stuff like this to other people.

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Posts: 83
Topic starter
(@merrydust)
Trusted Member
Joined: 19 years ago

Thanks Bay and Fadette........................feel abit lost after reading some replies and I dont think a forum is where I should be looking for help.
The threads turned into a chinese whisper,not about my original question.

anyway,posts about no sex for 3 years and husbands going to prostitutes make my situation seem trivial.

There is alot more to my situation, which I can now see how its affecting my marriage, but nothing we cant work out.

Thanks again.

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Posts: 1489
(@supersub)
Noble Member
Joined: 20 years ago

I dont think a forum is where I should be looking for help.
The threads turned into a chinese whisper,not about my original question.

There is alot more to my situation, which I can now see how its affecting my marriage, but nothing we cant work out.

You could well be right in your first point - but it seems it might have helped to concentrate your mind on the real issue, so maybe it has been a useful exercise?

And I like the hopeful sound of your second point, so good luck with that. Hope things do work out for you.

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Posts: 1
(@davidross349)
New Member
Joined: 13 years ago

This says it all

Strangely, I have yet to date a man who admits to watching, never mind liking, internet porn! 😉

great idea..thanks for sharing this.....

[url]Generic Viagra[/url] |

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Posts: 1
(@devinm)
New Member
Joined: 11 years ago

Mood Change or Sex and Anxiety

Problem is mentioned by you is natural and not a big problem to worry about this. You can understand your husband well, so you can fix this problem for him. This type of problem is known as sudden mood change or mood swing of men due to work pressure or Anxiety. This problem can effect the sexual performance and sexual desire of men with women. I read various of article related to this problem. In article term, this situation defined as Low Libido or [url]Sexual and Anxiety[/url] Problem due to any reasons. You can advise your husband to do workout and yoga for natural treatment like different exercise for men with healthy diet plan. I think this one is enough for roll back you sexual enjoyment with your hubby.

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Posts: 1
(@lisa-perry)
New Member
Joined: 6 years ago

hey merrydust, i am sorry to listen about you and your husband. But tell you what, it's a natural thing in every relationship that after some point of time everything gets boring, and that is the time you need to bring a spark into your relationship. No one can help you better than you. Plan a dinner, do things you both used to love in past time. Plan a holiday with whole family and many more.
I hope you feel loved all over again

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