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How Do You Calm A Man Down???

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Angel
Posts: 2493
Topic starter
(@angel)
Noble Member
Joined: 21 years ago

Hiya Everyone

Does anyone know of any "secret potion" that I can give to my hubby, he is like a dog on heat at the moment for some reason. His sex drive has shoot through the roof.

I want something that can calm it down, surely there must be something, after all, there is something to raise the sex drive, so there must be something to cool it.

Angel x

PS.He isn't the one complaining..... I am!:)

58 Replies
ramadani
Posts: 953
(@ramadani)
Prominent Member
Joined: 18 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

Come off it! [sm=idea.gif] You're curious to see how many excuses women can come with up![sm=scratchchin.gif]

i have a headache

hehehehhehehehe

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Posts: 4
(@beglobal)
New Member
Joined: 18 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

why are youo complaining about!?? you should be happy with it hahaha!!! sorry but I have no idea what could help you out... good luck with that;)

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silverhoodedowl
Posts: 782
(@silverhoodedowl)
Prominent Member
Joined: 20 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

That's too well known,got to think of a few fresh ones. Like:- The baby's crying,been working hard all day, hurt me back etc,etc,etc.[&o]

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crystal_rose
Posts: 4245
(@crystal_rose)
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RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

how about i am too bloody tired so get lost lol

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Posts: 931
(@windynights)
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Joined: 18 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

That is so awful that you gals have excuses waiting up your sleeves. After us doing a full days work we would still find the time for you beautiful creatures.
Luv as ever
xx

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crystal_rose
Posts: 4245
(@crystal_rose)
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Joined: 21 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

depends on how much effort you men are going to put in to it are you going to woo us or expect us just to be there for you when you want us

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silverhoodedowl
Posts: 782
(@silverhoodedowl)
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Joined: 20 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

A little courting doesn't go amiss.[sm=ladys-man.gif]

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Posts: 1262
(@serenity_1611052853)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

No pleasing some people eh!!!![sm=scratchchin.gif]

I don't know!!!:D

How aboutseeing this as an opportunity to expand things a little - perhaps by lookinginto something new, spiritualand exciting like tantra?[sm=1syellow1.gif] You might very well enjoy it, and I believe it is a slow and spiritual kindathang so perhaps it would calm him down and allow you take control of things a bit?[sm=nuts.gif]

Just a thought!!![sm=hug.gif]

I repeat- no pleasing some people!!![&:]
(yup, verily verily jealous!!!![sm=fit.gif])

XXX[sm=love-smiley-009.gif]

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Posts: 1262
(@serenity_1611052853)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

ps crystal rose, your bluntness has got me in stitches!!!![sm=rollaugh.gif][sm=rollaugh.gif][sm=rollaugh.gif]

xxx

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caringsoul
Posts: 785
(@caringsoul)
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Joined: 18 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

What about saying no!.

My dad used to say in the war men took bromide in their tea to stifle urges.

If he is a body builder, is he taking drugs?. could these be the cause of it?.

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Angel
Posts: 2493
Topic starter
(@angel)
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Joined: 21 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

PHEWWWWW!:)

Things have calmed down.

He managed to eventually get himself a job after 3 months of being unemployed and thankfully by the time he gets to bed he is too knackered to think of anything sexual.

I've found my answer. lol

Angel x

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killchar
Posts: 481
(@killchar)
Reputable Member
Joined: 19 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

I'm glad you're relieved Angel, and that so is he:)

But I just have to answer this:

By the way any poor blokes have a wife or girlfriend who wont take no for an answer, or should I start a new thread?
Luv Windy x

Um, er, yes...I'm in one of those backwards marriages. He's always too tired or not in the mood, and I'm always disappointed! Curses! [>:]

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Posts: 200
(@tapintohealth)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

My husband and I parted last June. The irony was that I was sterilised on the Monday and threw him out on the Thursday.

It would seem that there was no room on my spiritual path for him, but I am reassured by spirit that he will return and we will be happy and stronger than ever.

In fact one reader was overwhelmed when she picked up the sex that is to come.

An interesting thing though I saw in one of your sections Angel is that you are on a oral contraception pill. I was on Femedene for years and my libido was useless. November before last the doctor told me I was too old (42), and too fat (11 stone) and smoked so should not be on that pill. She was chinese if that has anything to do with it.

Anyway I came home and instead of giving up my four cigarettes an evening I stopped taking the pill.

My libido shot through the air. I was chasing him around the house and teaching him all new tricks and having some wild fantasies..........[8D]

Unfortunately he was going alone a rocky path and as soon as the anesthetic wore off after my sterilisation I packed him off............[:o]

So here I am with a libido up in the sky and no man and told by spirit that I wouldn't enjoy another relationship ....... that's not for want of trying.

All fun and games ......... when he comes back he is not coming out of that bedroom .......:D

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silverhoodedowl
Posts: 782
(@silverhoodedowl)
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RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

Um! All these old memories of when I was young!

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Posts: 469
(@bigvoice)
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Joined: 21 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

Did he ask you to post? Does he want to feel less sexual?
If so that's fine. But I think it is 'his stuff' in a way, and a lot of the posts on here seem to refer to him rather like a troublesome doghound.

The fact that your sex-drives aren't matching at the moment might require some negociation; but I don't think that it means the problem isentirelyhim, or his.

Can you enjoy the idea of him discussing your problematic sex-drive with his mates?
I don't mean to sound humourless, but I don't like the idea of my sex-drive being doctored by anyone else, that's for sure!

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Posts: 18
(@johnquick)
Active Member
Joined: 18 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

scrambled eggs on toast

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Angel
Posts: 2493
Topic starter
(@angel)
Noble Member
Joined: 21 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

Hiya Big voice

I told my hubby about this post I had made a couple of days after making it, he thought it was quite amuzing.

The fact that I am discussing it with everyone was in the hope of getting some advice, there is only one person on HP who knows me personally, so I don't really care if anyone is judging me and it;s not like I have discussed this issue with personal mates and I'm sure if my hubby had a problem then he too would talk it over with someone. (either an internet forum or with a friend)

Isnt that what these forums are for.....for getting advice and opinions of others. (no matter what the topic)

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Posts: 469
(@bigvoice)
Reputable Member
Joined: 21 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

Hi Angel,

Okey dokey. I hope you didn't mind my feeling a bit alarmed - you know your marriage, which no-one else does, and the fact that your hubby was amused shows you were right.

I'm sure you can see, too, that there might be cases with other people where there was a bit of a control thing going on 😉

I hope it all works out happily for you both,
love
BV [sm=cat.gif]

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crystal_rose
Posts: 4245
(@crystal_rose)
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Joined: 21 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

this is what i feel this forum is all about, for us to discuss any issues we may have and that maybe we dont want to talk about with anybody personally. and i tell you what judging from most of the repliys most people on here feel the same so good luck angel and carry on being open

crystal-rose

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Posts: 469
(@bigvoice)
Reputable Member
Joined: 21 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

Hi crystal-rose,

I think it's great being open: and as we're mostly anonymous on here, it means we can discuss things without worrying about confidentiality. The fact of discussing it was not what bothered me at all - on the contrary.

What would worry me slightly would be if my partner was seeking to change me in some way, (especially if she didn't ask me!),in order to make our relationship easier from her side.

Whether it's about how we speak, or our taste in curtains, or our sex drive; I think change is for us to choose ourselves and not something to be imposed by anyone else.

So if I were in this situation, I wouldn't post "My partner's sex drive is through the roof, how do I reduce it?" I would ask, "My partner's sex drive is through the roof, what is the best way to approach this?"
Subtle difference, but as a bloke I feel it's important.

Sorry to be so serious 😀

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crystal_rose
Posts: 4245
(@crystal_rose)
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Joined: 21 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

hi big voice are we ever so slightly sensitive to this issue lol;) i am sure this is an issue that comes up in most peoples relationships and as most people who replied to this post it is a lot of give and take but boy it does get boring when it is you doing all the giving:)

crystal-rose

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Posts: 445
(@tjg)
Reputable Member
Joined: 18 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

I came across this post by mistake - my hubby since having a vasectomy has been like a dog on heat. Oh my word! I cannot keep him off me!! Some people would say 'fantastic' but then he falls asleep and snores and I am lying awake absolutely knackered!!

What on earth is going on!!

I am sure the doc has put something in his tubes to make him more horny!!

T xx

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Posts: 469
(@bigvoice)
Reputable Member
Joined: 21 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

Hi crystal-rose,

Yes of course I'm a bit sensitive to this issue!! I hope that you are too.If you were the partner who's sexual drives were being spoken-of like a tiresome problem to be disposed of, youwould like to be seen as a good thing, and not a headache.:D

It's just a matter of trying to be in both people's shoes, and not only see one side of the situation.

TJG - talk to him! He's a thinking, feeling person, just as you are. Whatever is happening, communication is going to be the only way to find a solution.

love, BV 🙂

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killchar
Posts: 481
(@killchar)
Reputable Member
Joined: 19 years ago

RE: How Do You Calm A Man Down???

I don't think anyone here is looking to dispose of their partners sex drive. What is happening is a discussion regarding an imbalance many of us notice within ourselves and our partners. Humor and/or sarcasm is often used to discuss topics of such a sensitive nature. One should try not to misunderstand the statements made, as offense is surely not intended.

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TheMagpie
Posts: 298
(@themagpie)
Reputable Member
Joined: 20 years ago

What a great thread! Been laughing at some of the great comments...DarrenFollowsThePath..your first comment had me in stitches!

I agree that either side of the problem have probably hit each of us at some point!

TJG - were either of you using contraception before that stopped following the vasectomy? You should know that the female pill (depending on which one, of course) makes your body send messages to your man that you are pregnant (or otherwise in an unsexually available state), so men who are sensitive/aware can be easily turned off or disinterested without you, or him, knowing why (in other cases, the man may be so keen he doesnt notice 🙂 ).

If you were using condoms, these affect how much a man can feel during lovemaking, so if you were using them and ditched them since the op, hes probably LOVING the extra-multiplied sensation and closeness! 🙂

For those ladies whose men dont seem interested - IME Ive found this to be a result of their own feelings of dissatisfaction in their expressed maleness in their relationships - work and home (gender work is something i do with individuals and couples) and/or possibly if you are on the pill - if you are...you could well notice a BIG difference if you find an alternative method. If your man isnt interested, ill put this as honestly as Ive experienced it, and your on the pill, you should realise your body is sending him messages that you arent a sexual woman - hormonally, you are sending out a 'null pattern'. This can have the effect that the man just isnt interested sexually (ive seen this where its absolute - the man is completely uninterested - either in sex or in communicating. subtract the pill, and the interest, both in sex and in sharing, reappears in a very short space of time - there are reasons for this, but it takes a bit of the depth of gender energy education to understand)

IMO (and experience) the pill can be a terrible thing! In my gender work over the last 8 years i have explored how it works on many levels (not just the physical) and have to say I don't believe its healthy for many modern relationships. Anything that messes with hormones should make alarm bells ring, but in my experience, the 'godsend' that was the pill is one of the major causes of modern relationship problems (not just sexual problems, but problems of communication and relating as well). For the ladies that take the pill for other reasons - very heavy or painful flows, acne etc, I hope your relationships are unaffected, but hormones are literally what make men men and women women - when we tinker with them, we must accept it comes at a price.

anyway, to the thread point - ive heard the bromide story before - not sure of any long term effects though, and I was also going to ask whether he was using any supplements Angel as it is common in the modern gym.

Glad its settled down though and hope you enjoyed that period of....activity...you never know..if he stays in work, it may not return!

Hope all you ladies find the...right level of activity you are looking for :). It does take two to tango, and understanding does have to work both ways as well... one thing i have learned, that is that there is no end to the heights you can go in sharing, not just physically and sexually, but beyond, and this can be reflected in the depth of your lovemaking making all that relationship work well worth the effort!

So if youre not happy, get on with the work, and it will pay off!

best to all

Darren

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BIA
Posts: 292
 BIA
(@bia)
Reputable Member
Joined: 17 years ago

Hie isis into body building, just got back into it after a long stint off. I would of thought all the heavy lifting would tire him out not wake him up.

Sorry to join the thread late, and to continue bringing it down to earth a little (or raising it out of the gutter)

Definitely sounds like excess testosterone - which would wake him up by the way.
If it's a sudden increase, then I'd be interested to know where he's getting it from. Has he just increased his training? might he be taking... supplements? might he have a medical problem that generates extra testosterone?
If the answer to the first 2 is "no" then it might be worth sending him to the Dr's to get checked out unexplained sudden changes in physiology need to become explained.

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Posts: 1
(@herbal07)
New Member
Joined: 16 years ago

All I can say is "Good luck" with it. I know of remedies to aid the sex drive, but I've never come across one where you are trying to calm it down. Maybe you can make your [url]sex drive[/url] more than his and see what happens?

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(@mrolympia2010)
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I'm a guy and just joined 20 mins ago and post a thread but I do not see it on the forum. Am I doing something wrong? This male needs to be come with answers. Thanks

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Moonfairy
Posts: 15032
(@moonfairy)
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I'm a guy and just joined 20 mins ago and post a thread but I do not see it on the forum. Am I doing something wrong? This male needs to be come with answers. Thanks

Hiya and welcome to HP

Please see:

New members are on auto-moderation and thus posts need to be approved by a member of the Moderating Team before appearing on the forums.

If you need any further advice then please use the 'contact us' button at the bottom of the page.

Thanks
Moonfairy
HP mods

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