Hello everyone. I am new to this, and would probably not have had the courage to write here, but after reading how everyone has responded to all the other problems, I have built up the courage to ask for your help.
I am 35 year old, who previously had no sexual partners (not through choice), but finally I met someone I really love. The first time we tried sex, I got too excited and ejac'ed before we got together. Although she didn't say anything, I noticed the disappointment in her face. The second time we succeeded but again she didn't seem all that happy and wouldn't say what was wrong, just to keep me happy.
Getting rather worried I spoke to a friend about it and said that I was a bit concerened that I could not stay 100% fully erect for long. Rather foolishly I accepted his advice of trying a viagra type pill, to keep me going and give me that initial boost of confidence that he thought I was lacking. I took it without telling her, thinking that I won't need it after I get my confidence, and it was great that night.
But from the next day I started experiencing painful erections at odd times during the day. Plus I was felt a slight burning pain at random times and while urinating. These died down after a few days, but now I see that I don't get aroused as easily. I don't get semi-erect when I wake up in the mornings. But worst of all, when I do get aroused and erect about 50%, after about 30 seconds I feel the erection die down totally even while still being stimulated, and then we'd have to give up on sex a few times, even though I got her ready.
This has brought more strain on our relationship and I can see that it is only a matter of time that she will stop putting up with this. My GP seems to be disinterested in my worries saying that I'm fine, but clearly something is wrong even if it is "just in my head". He says if I had damaged anything then I wouldnt be able to get erect anymore.
If I continue to have the pills everything will be ok in our love life, but i am worried what the long term effects will be on me. If it is affecting my erection after just a couple of uses, maybe it might ruin it totally if I use it continually.
Before meeting her I was "normal", in that I masturbated successfully regularly, but now I don't feel interested in sex. Even if I see scantily clad women in the street I check, but don't notice anything happening. Before if I went 4-5 without masturbating, I would just release in my sleep, but I haven't done that in the past 10 days.
I have many questions but no answers:
Have I got a "physical" dysfunction problem?
Have I made it worse by taking the pills?
Will I ever be able to do it again without pills?
Is it all just in my head, and if so how do I get it out?
Is there anyone that someone can recommend to help me with this?
Is there anything natural that can help me?
I am turning into a mess and so is my first serious relationship. I would really appreciate the experience of everyone here.
RE: Erection Problems
Hello there
My heart goes out to you. I don't have experience in this area, however I know we have a number of members on here who are also practitioners of various therapies. I am thinking in particular of the ones you will find in Mind Therapies, and hopefully someone there will have some good suggestions on how things like hypnotherapy and Emotional Freedom Technique might help you. I feel very sad that your GP wasn't more sympathetic, but please don't give up hope. You are in a very caring community and I hope you get some real help here.
RE: Erection Problems
Sorry to hear you're experiencing these problems. I read in some health magazine that regular masturbation with the aim of sustaining the erection rather than getting it over with quickly is a good way of building stamina (so you don't orgasm too quickly) and maintaining firmness when experiencing such things. Could try a condom as that helps with reducing the sensation, thus making things last longer.
BTW I take it you're taking some sort of precautions against pregnancy and passing/catching STIs? (Apologies if you're offended but I don't know your general sex experience and knowledge.)
I also, as above, recommend some sort of mind therapy.
All the best.
RE: Erection Problems
hello mkwarby, first of all, to reassure you, if your partner is the right person for you, then i am sure she will stand by you, whatever happens.
I do know of a natural remedy ( herbal ), that should help you. Its a herb called horny goat weed. Please read the following:
Legend has it that Horny Goat Weed was discovered when a goat herder in ancient China noticed that whenever his herd ate a certain weed, their promiscuous sexual behaviour increased. This ?certain weed? soon became known as ?Horny Goat Weed?.
Horny Goat Weed is a small, pungent herb native to the Mediterranean and Asia. In China (where it is known as Yin Yang Huo), it has been used for over 2,000 years as a traditional remedy for kidney, liver and joint disorders, although it is most commonly used as an aphrodisiac and vitalising tonic for men and women, supporting or improving any of the following:
? Libido/Sexual Desire
? Energy & Stamina
? Erectile Dysfunction
? Sperm Production
? Sensory Stimulation
The exact way it works is still unclear but it is believed to increase testosterone and levels of the brain chemicals required for sexual arousal, and it also contains a flavonoid called ?icarrin? which is thought to help with erectile function. In a recent study, 13 out of 20 healthy men responded positively to Horny Goat Weed and of the 13 men, 6 who were already taking Viagra experienced an additional benefit from using it. In most cases, the men reported overall improvement in sexual dysfunction and increase in sexual desire.
Each tablet contains 200mg Horny Goat Weed extract equivalent to 1000mg whole herb and should be taken 90 minutes before activity .
hoping this may be of some help to you
kind regards mike
RE: Erection Problems
I think you need some good quality psychosexual therapy from someone well-trained in this field before this behaviour pattern hard-wires. Your Doctor is the route to what you should expect from the health seervice.
kind regards and I hope you get it sorted,
Sharon.
RE: Erection Problems
Hiya
Mind therapies are very good at helping withproblems of a sexual nature. Depending on the area you are from, I may be able to recommend a colleague who could help who specialises in your particluar concern, if you want some help.
Otherwise there are many self help techniques talked about in mind therapies thatcan be used for all sorts of issues, sexual problems included. Have a look at some of the threads on EmoTrance, EFT, Freeway-CER and hypnotherpay. All of these are tried and tested and can easily be learned to do yourself.
Well done for having the courage to say how you feel. I hope we can help you to get your problem sorted in one way or another.
Best regards
Steve
RE: Erection Problems
Thank you all very much for your help.
I am stillhaving problems with this. I can get an erection when we get close and intimate, but it completely disappears as soon we getready to bond. On the one hand I think that if I can get an erection then can there be something physically wrong?, but then I am as equally worried as to why it goes away so easily and so instantaneously.
Everyone seems to suggest it is more of a mind issue. Steve I would be really grateful if you could put me in touch with someone in the Bracknell/Reading/Berkshire area. I am not sure how far my GP can help in getting in touch with people like this.
Finally, has anyone tried horny goat weed on a regular basis? has it had a lot of success? and given that you say itis natural, are there any side effects to long term use?
Once again thank you all for your kind words and generous help. I feel a lot better knowing that there are people out there who are not only listening but also taking the time to understand my problem.
RE: Erection Problems
Your answer lies in thequestions you listat the end of your post-all these thoughts are running through your mind when you are about to have sex - which is causing you anxiety.
It is anxietyabout sex and your performancethat's at the root of this - not a pill you onlytook once. Try and put the pastto one side and say you are not going to think about it.
Immerse yourself in the moment and don't put so much pressure on yourself. If you find you are not getting stimulated, spend more time on foreplay and exploring each other. Say to yourself, I'm not going to have sex, I am just going to stimulate her in other ways.
Once you concentrate on one thing, you should find that it's easier to forget the anxieties.
Hope it works out.
RE: Erection Problems
Hi There,
I have a few suggetions,
Have I got a "physical" dysfunction problem?
From the sounds of it you may have a slight iron deficientcy, this would not have been apparent before as you were not that sexually active , try an iron supliment but check with your GP first that it won't contradict anything else your doing. You might also try some Zinc as well, a good al purpose A-z vit and mineral is a good place to start.
Have I made it worse by taking the pills?
HighlyUnlikely
Will I ever be able to do it again without pills?
Yes I am sure
Is it all just in my head, and if so how do I get it out?
Confidence is an issue but might I suggest you take the time to fully experiment with foreplay, you can satisfy your GF without havingto result to sex, use it as a desert asopposed to the main course.
Is there anyone that someone can recommend to help me with this?
If it is still a problem I'm me and we can talk in more detail.
Is there anything natural that can help me?
see the above vitamin recomendation..:))
Hope this helps
RE: Erection Problems
Hi I have similar problems and find an erection ring really helps if you can get an erction or even a semi this devise will help sustain and enhance your erction and can also be fun to use. I have notice some for sale quite cheep on ebay you can find them on the link below
Beaumartin..
[link= http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ERECTION-ENHANCING-RINGS-PENIS-RINGS-Set-of-seven_W0QQitemZ200047462824QQihZ010QQcategoryZ3193QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem ]Penis rings[/link]
RE: Erection Problems
Dear mkwarby if you are still around and anyone else who may be interested.
mk - what you have described isso very common so please try not to worry too much about it. As you relax into the relationship I'm sure it will pass, without the need for pills, potions or lotions. Confide your worries to your girlfriend and together you will able able to work this out, andyour relationship will be richer for the trustyou haveshown in each other.
If you do want professional help and your GP isn't interested, you could try Relate, whooffer sex therapy andadvice for a variety of sexual difficulties. You can find out about their services at [link= http://www.relate.org.uk/sexproblems/ ]http://www.relate.org.uk/sexproblems/[/link]. mk - they have a branch in Reading, Berkshire.
I hope this information is of some help.
epinay
x
RE: Erection Problems
I wonder if topical treatment would help you? Maxoderm is supposed to be pretty good, fast acting and side effects are minimal. Best of luck man.
hi Dear,
It is very sad to read about your problem.
I feel you should go to doctor and discuss with him regarding impotence problem or you can do one thing more. You can use Viagra( Original Viagra) for this problem. Viagra definitely help you regarding this problem.
Make sure you will buy only original Viagra of Pfizer .
Hi
I can understand your feelings. Do not need depress more.
First thing- Original pills of erection penis like Viagra never have side effects like this. Yes Viagra also have some side effects like headache, stomach upset. But Viagra does not increase the Sexual dysfunction and erection problems.
Second thing- Original Viagra, Cialis pills will effect to you long while sex with your partner.
Make sure buy only original pills manufactured by reputed company.
thanks
Finally, has anyone tried horny goat weed on a regular basis? has it had a lot of success? and given that you say itis natural, are there any side effects to long term use?
.
Yes its very good - try it!
Problem Of Erection Dysfunction
Viagra are the FDA (Food and Drugs Administration) approved anti-impotence drugs that are indeed effective in helping men.This will help you to solve your problem.
Hello,
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